Rise To Me
by Dolli
Summary: Even as an eleven year old boy Lily played a central part of James' life and now more than ever, he knew that she WAS his life. Letting her walk away was not an option...
1. Charm Me

**Disclaimer:** Any of the characters/places/things you happen to recognize in HP don't belong to me. Anything else is mine mine MINE! Enjoy!

**Summary:** James is convinced that Lily is the girl for him but Lily's isn't quite so sure. In this time of uneasy unrest as the Dark Lord rises to power can James prove that he's more wizard than boy and can Lily come to accept that James means more than she dare admit?

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**CHARM ME**

_A chill that cut slowly seeped into Lily's bones. Her breath collected in puffs of mist in front of her face. Where was she? _

_In all four directions all she could see were trees, dark trees grown so dense that it was hard to make one out from another. The foliage curled around, rustling, appearing to move out of her way with each step she took and entwine together again behind her back…_

Lily!

_Lily spun around but could see nothing but leaves and more trees behind her. _

Lily!

_This time it was more of a hiss. Around and around she turned trying to discern the direction of the voice. _

_Something grabbed her arm and Lily jumped-_

_---_

"Lily!"

Cerise shook her best friend's arm again, this time harder but she kept her face carefully neutral as she hissed her name out of the corner of her mouth. Lily jerked awake now wide eyed and confused.

When had she fallen asleep?

Lily Evans, fallen asleep in a lesson? Instantly ashamed that she had let her mind drift enough to fall asleep she sat up straight and brushed her hair away from her face determined to work twice as hard. Around her everyone was busy flicking their wands at crystal balls not unlike those that the divination teacher favored.

"This is a very good exercise on wand control." Professor Flitwick said loudly over the chattering class, he stood high on a stack of thick books frowning as the majority of the class ended up picking up the crystal balls rather than making them float as instructed to do. "You see, the smooth spherical surface makes it very hard to levitate and more importantly to maintain in one position suspended in the air."

Beside Lily, Cerise was biting her lip in frustration. She had succeeded in making the sphere of glass float but was having a very hard time keeping it there. Her wand darted this way and that according to which way the ball looked like it was about to topple to. It was much like someone balancing a book on his or her head and it was certainly taking the same amount concentration. Lily picked up her wand feeling the familiar movement inside of the polished wood as the three Great Pearls within it rolled from one end to the other.

"Ebony with three Great Pearls, ten inches, excellent for charm work. Hard to control but will do many great things once you learn to understand its qualities." Mr. Ollivander had said to her when she first purchased the wand seven years ago. Lily found out just how hard it was to control pretty soon and had spent most of her first year suffering from what she termed "a disobedient wand". The movement of the Pearls inside of the wand had affected her spell casting many a time often missing targets and occasionally backfiring. Lily was thankful in some ways because thanks to her "disobedient wand" she had learnt a very useful new trick that she was about to use.

She placed her wand carefully on her desk and picked up the cool crystal ball in her palm. With a gentle push the ball levitated until it hung six inches from her desk rolling as if it were running away but all the time in the same position. Content that it was almost effortless she looked up at her classmates. Many of them were bent over picking the crystal balls off from the floor a few were carefully balancing theirs like Cerise.

Opposite her she could see Sirius who apparently wasn't interested in trying, beside him was Remus who was making a decent attempt and then beside him was James Potter. He caught her eye and grinned at her as his crystal ball hung perfectly still in the air over his head. He was casually tapping his wand against the side of his desk, not noticing that red sparks were shooting of the end and distracting Peter Pettigrew.

Lily automatically returned his grin with a frown and turned to help Cerise. It was a small wonder that he hadn't suddenly lunged at the ball believing it was a Snitch such were his tendencies. It came with keeping a constant image that he was some Quidditch star with broom swept hair and bore no relation to the fact that he was just a braggart with a very big ego.

James Potter was not at all surprised when Lily pointedly turned her back to him but truth be told he was rather used to it but that's not the point; the point was he didn't mind because in his eyes Lily Evans was perfect. She was smart yet cutely stupid, a dreamer yet firmly grounded and not to mention that she was gorgeous and yes, in his opinion even the back of her head was very pretty.

From the very first time that James had set his eyes on her he knew that they were perfect for each other. There was only one teeny little problem: Lily couldn't stand him. It was one of those many things in life that were sad but true.

With a _thunk_ her friend's wand slipped and the crystal ball hit the floor accusingly as if to point a finger at her shaky control. Lily leant over to pick it up for her offering encouragement as she did and happened to catch him still looking at her. Their eyes connected for the briefest of seconds but it seemed like an age as James received a clear message from her.

_Get lost, Potter._

James had heard it over so many times that it became somewhat of a disappointment when he didn't hear it. He could tell that this was going to be one of those non-verbal days, which to him still held its charm even after so many years.

Finally, she straightened and he was faced with her back once more. James took in a deep breath finally able to breathe again. _Man alive_ that was one death glare but that didn't stop his heart from doing a familiar odd flicker. So she still wasn't exactly fond of him yet…

"Minor." He finished aloud.

Sirius yawned widely and stretched. "What's that?"

"I said it's a minor."

"Yeah I heard you first time but what is 'minor'?"

"Lily's distaste for me."

"Is that what you're calling it this month?"

James gave his best friend a withering look. "One day she's going to realize what a charming-"

"A charming _git_ you are." Remus said still concentrating on the task. "The girl can't stand you, mate."

James opened his mouth but Sirius was already ahead of him. "Moony's right. Like I've said a million times, she thinks that you're conceited."

"Big headed." Peter added.

"Arrogant."

"Rude."

"A show off."

James looked helplessly from one Marauder to the other as they insultingly took turns to diss him. How was he supposed to even get a word of defense in when they bombarded him like that?

"Hey!" He squared his shoulders standing up to his full height as he did and conveniently smashed the top of his skull into the crystal ball he had levitated so perfectly. The ball flew off course and landed with a spectacular crash on the floor and broke into pieces.

James fell down to his seat with his hands pressed to a sore spot on his head while Sirius, Remus and Peter guffawed and howled with laughter. How can it be that out of all the dropped crystal balls in that hour his was the only one to break?

When something like that happened it would only make sense if the girl of his dreams whom he most wanted to prove that he was a suave and cool guy of her dreams to, had witnessed it all. With one eye he peeked over in her direction and sure enough she along with the rest of the class had seen his little accident.

So much for being charming.

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**A/N:** I would like to welcome new readers and to thank my lovely returning readers! This chapter has been reworked a bit otherwise it's pretty much the same as the original. Hopefully I'll see you all at chapter 70!


	2. Darkness Spreads

**TO:** ember marieclaire, whoo hoo! Thank you for being the first person to review! For the life of me I could not remember what was in Lily's wand and did not have patience to go back and find in book so I decided that I would just have to make it up. Pearls could be magical...gah! Aww, just pretend they are from the mermaids or something! XXx

DARKNESS SPREADS

That night Lily had exactly the same dream and woke up the next day feeling extremely tired and gloomy from spending the night running through the endless spooky woods. Cerise recognized Lily's bad mood immediately and left her well alone opting to go down for breakfast first. Lily was eternally grateful, as she never was quite a morning person to begin with.

Quietly as to not wake the other three girls that she shared the room with she got changed and slipped out. Even as she descended down the stairs that lead to the Gryffindor common room she could hear excited voices.

Barely registering the fuss she intended on slipping past when someone pulled her back by the wrist and she found herself facing the person she least wanted to see so early in the morning.

"Morning, Evans!" James greeted her brightly and gave her one of his trademark smiles, it quickly faded when he saw its effect was lost upon her even more so than usual.

Over the years James had proved on many occasions that he possessed an unnatural flair for provoking the most extreme facets of her personality and today was no different. Lily's irritation flared simply at the sight of him but it was too early to be bickering him with and the lack of dreamless sleep had sapped her energy. "Not today, Potter." She shrugged out of his grip and turned away giving him a distasteful look before leaving the room.

Sirius chuckled after her. "Imagine if you had said '_Good_ Morning, Evans', do you think she would have slapped you?" He said to James before his attention drifted back to the Exploding Snap that the Marauders had buffed up so that it was louder and much more violent. It was for this reason that the Common Room was particularly crowded that morning. Remus flinched as the equivalent of a firecracker went off in front of him.

"How about giving it a rest, Prongs? Just for a while. I can't remember a day you haven't harassed her." He said and quickly slapped out a flame that had come from the explosion and was making the sleeve of his robe smoke.

James ran a hand through his already messy hair thoughtfully. "Rest? Not a chance mate! This is our last year together! Besides, there's been improvement; she's yet to call me any names."

"But she called you a 'moronic prat' a few days ago." Peter reminded. "Or was it a 'rotting toerag'? I think it was both actually." Peter continued oblivious that he was putting his foot in it

Sirius cracked a grin and Remus almost laughed. James was not impressed and wasn't at all appreciative of Peter's sudden flash of good memory.

"Shut up, Wormtail." He said and headed off to the hall.

---

Lily dropped onto the bench at the breakfast table beside Cerise. Opposite her sat Yoanna Sunbury who smiled at her. Lily returned the smile weakly and pulled a bowl of fruit towards herself, not seeing anything she liked she pushed it away again.

"Here you go." Lily looked up to see a very large red apple held to her. It was James again. The problem with boarding schools was that there was simply no privacy. You would think that in a magical school like Hogwarts where students were known to get lost for days that there would be somewhere for her to hide, but it seemed that James always found her. She had no idea how he did it but it was slightly scary. Like the time in their 3rd year when she went on her first date with a Hufflepuff that no one was supposed to know about but right on cue, Potter and his big fat head turned up. Unsurprisingly her date never asked her out again, in fact to this day he could barely have a conversation with her without looking around nervously expecting an ambush.

"It's for you." He repeated and Lily eyed it warily remembering very clearly the last few times that James had offered her something. James' ego tripled in size and she ended up hexing him when she found out that someone had cast a spell on the back of her robe so that letters spelt "Mrs. Potter" in different colors. It may have been any of the Marauders but it all boiled down to James Potter's fault in the end.

"It's not poisoned you know." He tossed her the apple and she caught it neatly He sat himself down beside her giving her a look that told her that he had every right to sit wherever he pleased. His expression prompted Lily to wonder if James was a Legilimens for he often responded to her as if he could read her mind. Sometimes he had an uncanny sixth sense of when she was about to throw something or hex him, other times like today it was subtler. Lily gave a mental shrug, she didn't care what he was as long as he left her alone, besides if he was any good at Legilimency surely he would have gotten the point by now and found another girl to harass.

"Heads up, morning mail." James said looking up.

Above them a chorus of hoots and cries signaled the arrival of hundreds of owls each dropping packages or letters. James reached out and gracefully caught Lily's copy of the Daily Prophet that would have otherwise dropped in the jug of pumpkin juice.

She took it with a stony silence and he wondered at the source of her extremely bad mood until a soft gasp escaped from her. "Evans?" he peered over her paper. Opposite them Yoanna burst into tears. Further to the right on the Ravenclaw table someone howled. The atmosphere in the whole hall went frigid and James looked to Lily but she just sat her eyes wide and glazed. "Hey Evans!" he reached out and tapped her arm gingerly, worry creasing his forehead.

Lily dropped her paper onto the table and pointed at it. Curious James began to read. After the first few lines he understood what was going on.

Lord Voldemort was attacking the families of Muggle born people. Under a brief description and the views of the Ministry of Magic spokesman there was a list of people that had been attacked.

A list of the dead.

It was surreal, just seconds before he was whole-heartedly absorbed in discovering the reason behind Lily's bad mood and now he was looking at a list of the dead. He scanned the list, his eyes stopping at every name. James could hear whispers among the scared students.

"He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is taking a Blood Revolution in his own hands!" A boy in Ravenclaw cried out to his friend.

"My family are Muggles!" whispered someone else

"You-Know-Who hates Muggles!"

"I'm so scared!"

"-Muggles-"

"-Murderer-"

"-Deatheaters-"

"-Blood Revolution-"

"-Death-"

The Dark Lord's name hung heavy in the air although no one quite dared to say it aloud for fear that his cruelty might spread to them. The fear spread like a wave and soon very few in the Wizarding World dared to refer to him as _Lord Voldemort._


	3. Wanderer

**TO:** fearless-phoenix. Thank YOU! I was just thinking last night how I would probably have to go back through the books to get find out what type of wand Lily had, but you've just saved me the work! Since you've been so thoughtful I'll make sure Lily ends up back with the original wand but I'm still not going to forget those pearls...in fact...I think they may have a role...

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WANDERER

_Lily shivered._

_Her feet were freezing. _

_She was outdoors again. _

_Confused she wandered past a hut with a darkened garden patch. Her vision was dulled to shades of grey and ended with darkness abruptly a few feet ahead of her. With her vision restricted she pressed on, determined to find a destination. _

_Ahead of her appeared a tree, lit up by a pallid moon that she hadn't noticed before. The tree swayed in a most peculiar fashion. More than just the leaves moved to the wind that had suddenly picked up, whole branches and even the trunk seem to bend at will. _

_A long vine like branch cracked-_

_---_

"Watch it!" Lily's head snapped up just as she was knocked down from her feet. Above her head she felt the air displace as something whooshed over her and her attacker.

"What the-?" She and the girl who had knocked her over scrambled to their feet, half running and half-staggering back as a strangely agile branch cracked at them. "The Whomping Willow!" Lily cried out when she managed to get some bearing on where she was.  
"Well done." The girl replied her light musical voice thick with sarcasm.

Lily felt her temper soar but quickly tried to extinguish it, after all, she did just save her from one hell of a beating. Instead she looked away from the girl who proceeded to brush out leaves from her chocolate coloured hair. Her gaze wondered to the school.

Hogwarts had an exterior that was as awe inducing as its interior. The huge old castle stood proud and timeless in the dim glow. Through the wide windows she could see candles flickering but the majority of the stone school lay in thick shadows. It must be late. Lily thought. She locked down at herself in her vest and shorts that she usually slept in.

Had she been sleep walking? It was not something that she had done before but then, what other explanation could there be for her to wake up outside of the castle? _And_ in an out of bounds area. Lily added. She turned to face the girl.

"Thanks for..." she was going to say 'saving me' but the girl's demeanour told her that she wouldn't be too happy if she had said that.

"Save it." The girl said curtly and gave her robes one last brush.

Lily's eyes narrowed. "What were you doing out here anyway?"

The girl shrugged. "Sleepwalking?"

"Fully clothed?" Lily crossed her arms and saw for the first time that the girl's robes were black and green. She was a Slytherin. Her curiosity was going into overdrive now.

"Oops, blew my cover. I was out walking. Fresh air." She turned to leave and Lily followed.

"Past the curfew and in an out of bounds area?"

"Not everyone is as rule obliging you know." The taller girl answered. "Look, as much as I would love re-enact the whole scene to you, I really must go. The whole story is I was out walking trying to clear my head and I saw you walking like a zombie towards that god-awful tree and the rest you know." She finished.

Lily frowned at her for a while longer but found it hard to be suspicious anymore; it wasn't in her nature. "I am grateful for that." She offered a smile that the girl returned hesitantly as if smiling wasn't something she did often. "Okay, I guess I'll see you around." They had reached the castle and were now in the main hall where they would separate to go back to their rooms. Lily headed up the stairs.

"You really shouldn't be out and about alone in the late hours. It's worth considering that Hogwarts might be watched." Lily spun around and stared at the retreating back of the girl, suddenly feeling a shiver down her spine. Now that was an ominous warning if she had ever heard one.


	4. Trial & Error

**A/N:** This is where I need help. Is there some sort of list with the spells from the book? I can barely remember any and I know I will be stuck writing soon if I don't know any! Another little note about Peter, I wouldn't mind demonizing him in this story but I don't think James, Remus and Sirius would have remained friends with him for so long and trusted him enough if they didn't like him. So for the majority of the story I think I'll keep him as much as a "friend" as possible although every now and again I won't be able to help myself and will drop a nasty line on him! xXx

**Disclaimer**: As written in beginning, I don't own any of the HP characters/name/places.

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TRIAL & ERROR

"Shut UP, Peter!" Sirius yelled, his temper finally giving way to Peter's persistent nail biting worry warnings. He shoved his stool back and began to pace the Room of Requirement that had so usefully become their experimental laboratory. His normally smooth hair was messy, almost resembling James' usual style with the exception that it looked more than a little... _frazzled._ Indeed Remus could see little wisps of smoke fanning out from the dark mob. He himself was none the better with severely burnt robes and fried hair.

"When you want to invent stuff for the good of mischief there are certain...sacrifices that need to be made." Sirius said, exercising a patience he did not have. He patted gingerly on his head to air out any remaining smoke before trying to flatten his hair. James noted with dismay that even in this state, Sirius's hair still managed to maintain a casual elegance his own stubbornly refused. He rubbed his eyes; he had not escaped unscathed, as his dark lashes and brows were looking definitely singed.

"Wormtail might have a point there." He prodded at the key like instrument that they had strapped to a car battery as part of a circuit. How in the world Sirius had gotten hold of one of those James didn't know. "Stuff like electricity should be left to Muggles."

Sirius looked indignant. "This, is going to be the most useful thing we would have made to date!" he picked up the key and waved it in the air before presenting it back to James like it were the most valuable thing in the world. "Once we get this right, we could use this key to open any door, anywhere!"

"But there's a spell to do that already." Peter protested.

Remus replied before Sirius could snap. "If a bunch of teenage wizards can use _Alohomora _then so can any other wizard. They are bound to have charms that deactivate it." Remus leaned forward, thoroughly absorbed by the flash of sheer genius of their new idea. "The theory is that if we can't use something that is magical, why can't we try something that Muggles use?"

Peter frowned. "But what if there's no key hole? A lot of the doors here don't have keyholes."

"That is why we are combing the two ideas together! No keyhole? Then we'll make one! What's better than a key that makes its own keyholes?" Sirius dropped the key back onto the table.

"Looking for another way in might help." James couldn't help but grin.

Sirius waved his hand dismissively. "By all means, Prongs. If you want to be the one hanging from a rope a few hundred feet from your death trying to get in through a window then I'll gladly be the one to walk in through the door because I have a key!"

"Has this anything to do with trying to get into the girls' dorm?" Peter asked hopefully.

Sirius shook his head. "What broom have you been flying on mate? Girls' dorm is stairs, this is doors remember? I'm tired of explaining, how about we give this another go?"

James scooted his chair closer to the table. "Right, nothing will stop the Marauders!" He clasped his hands together with a clap. "But can't we turn the voltage down a notch?" he asked with some thought. The others heartily agreed before they got back to work.

---

Lily was frantic. After turning her bed, wardrobe, and trunk inside out she had moved on to tip out everything her roommates owned as well. Failing that she checked their bathrooms, all of her classrooms and as many corridors that she knew she had ever stepped foot in.

Finally she went as far towards the Whomping Willow as she dared and spent over an hour shuffling through dry leaves and soil. All of this searching amounted to nothing and a certain fact that was inescapable.

Her wand was _missing._

She knew she had it in yesterday's lesson and had a vague memory of having it in her bag in the evening but other than that, her wand had simply _vanished_. Left with no choice she had had to confess to Professor McGonagall who after a few words told her she would send an owl to Mr. Ollivander. Lily was due to receive her wand in the next owl post and for now was left wandless until the next day. Although she was confident that even without her wand she could still cast a few decent spells she couldn't help but feel a little naked without it, as it were.

Lying on a large beanie bag in front of the roaring fire in the Common room, Lily was slowly making her way through "_Deeper Meanings in Dreams_" by Jose Weedle. Not only were her dreams draining energy from her by ruining her sleep but also now she was actually sleepwalking. Lily made a mental note to lock the room door that night as she read.

The book held an abundance of strange facts and figures as well as stories of people not understanding their dreams and doing stupid things as a result. There was one story about a wizard that kept dreaming about a dog, which he misinterpreted as the Grim, the poor man ended up locking himself in his room for months and would only venture out if he were wrapped in cotton wool head to toe. Only when he referred to an expect did he learn that he was not seeing a Grim but just a sign that he was going to be fined for not cleaning up after his dog in the streets.

So far, Lily had worked out that being stuck in the middle of a creepy wood in a dream meant that she was about to or encountering problems that would give her a headache. She had yet to reach the later chapters about sleepwalking but already she could feel a real headache coming on. With a groan she shut the heavy book and rubbed her temples.

Having bad dreams should be the least of her problems. Her own family were Muggles, just the thought of anyone hurting them sent chills into her heart. They would not be able to protect themselves from a powerful wizard like the Dark Lord and his Deatheaters. Her thoughts drifted to Yoanna and she felt great waves of sympathy as well as an undercurrent of shame because she was relieved that her own family was not on the list.

"Penny for you thoughts?" Lily opened her eyes wide and stared at James who was slung across another cushion facing hers. James was pleasantly surprised as Lily stared wide-eyed back at him; her green eyes usually narrowed when she was about to snap at him. And he was definitely lying close enough to be within snapping range.

"What happened to your eyelashes?" She asked after a moment more of inspection.

"Oh that," He pushed some hair off his face, a little disappointed. "Just something that happened while we were experimenting." He spotted the change in her immediately even as she drew away from him. He mentally slapped himself for mentioning their "experimenting" because he knew she didn't agree with "playing around with dangerous things" as she had once said.

"Then you deserved it. I'm surprised you didn't lose your eyebrows too."

"Aw, Evans cut me some slack. We're not that stupid to do something that would hurt ourselves..." he trailed off suddenly remembering that they had spent the whole evening working on the key, which so happened to involved passing a high voltage current through themselves. Lily's expression told him that she knew otherwise.

James stared at her for a few seconds and a wide crooked smile began to form on his lips. "So you do care if I get hurt!" he exclaimed, his happiness flooding back.

Colour appeared on Lily's cheeks. As much as James would like to think she was blushing he knew that she was just getting angry. He braced himself for a torrent of verbal abuse but was surprised when she just stood up and left.

"Something's wrong." He decided. Looking down to where she had sat he spotted a book that she had left. "_'Deeper Meanings in Dreams'_" he read aloud. Lily stormed back into Common Room and snatched the book out of his hands before she stormed out again leaving a very puzzled James.


	5. Night Rogues

**TO: **Cecilia Orechio, Thank You! The website will help me tonnes! And I'm so glad that you like the story! xXx

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NIGHT ROGUES

Very carefully James stepped out of the Common Room. The Fat Lady grumbled at being woken up but quickly fell back asleep. Sirius stepped out after him and then Peter followed.

"All clear." Sirius whispered his eyed glued on the Marauders' Map. They moved quickly and silently, James constantly on the look out, Sirius monitoring their position from potential night threats such as Filch and McGonagall while Peter brought up the rear. James had his Invisibility cloak draped over his arm just in case but they knew the castle well enough for the occasion to be rare.

"That was easy tonight!" Peter grinned after they had made it outside through a secret passage that they discovered in their second year. There were many times when there had been close encounters but tonight's journey had been uneventful.

James nodded. "Let's get on shall we?" He looked up into the starry night and at the bright full moon. "Moony's waiting for us." Sirius didn't say anything; instead he was busy planning on where they could roam that night.

Peter puffed out his chest under James' expectant stare; it was his turn to play his part. Taking out his wand he pointed it at himself and muttered a spell. James watched as Peter gave a violent shiver and immediately began to shrink, his limbs contracting and getting smaller as his head shrunk and elongated. For the last part he found himself looking away and wondered if it ever looked that painful or ugly while he transformed. He had seen Peter transform many times and each time his admiration for McGonagall grew. He remembered the first time he had seen her change, it had been in one of his first Transfiguration lessons, and at that point he already had appreciated the grace and smoothness of her transformation. She was now doubly impressive in her skill now that he knew how difficult it really was.

Peter, now in his rat form twitched his whiskers importantly and skittered off escaping the notice of the vicious tree to touch the knot on the trunk that paralyzed it. Now Sirius and James made their way to the entrance excited of what adventure they would have.

Sirius slid down the low tunnel between the roots first and James quickly touched the knot to reactivate the tree after and also slid down. Next James busied himself with hanging up his Invisibility cloak on a protruding root at the base of the low tunnel and refolded the map Sirius handed to him. All the while he made sure to keep his back turned to his best friend while he took to the shape of a huge shaggy dog. Perhaps Sirius too grew self-conscious when he made the change and the two had reached a mutual agreement that transforming was a lot like getting changed and therefore a private matter.

Seconds later, with a low growl to let James know that he was going ahead Sirius ran off happily sniffing the earthy smell that hung in the cool air. James would not follow the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack because his animal form was much too large for him to exit via the tunnel again. His job was to wait for a sign from Sirius, which took the form of a howl, and he would freeze the tree and quickly transform outside and wait for them to join him.

James waited patiently half listening to the groaning tree; the whiplash cracks of twigs and branches as it swayed to an imaginary strong wind. With his back against the side of the tunnel he could actually feel the jerks and movements of the tree. It was then that he picked up on the sudden increase of activity, which never happened unless...

There was _someone _outside or at least _something_ that was larger than a rat. Animals and students knew to avoid the dangerous tree at all costs. Curious, James climbed back out of the tunnel, sticking his head out just enough to avoid being noticed by the tree but sufficiently enough to look around. What he saw made his blood run cold.

"LIIIILLLLLYYYY!" He bellowed; she was getting too close to the tree. He could see her clearly, her arms and her face pale in the moonlight. She was walking steadily towards the tree; her eyes open but unfocused. James looked back into the tunnel frantically, his mind torn in two over what he should do. He couldn't risk freezing the tree now because it was the only thing protecting her if Remus were to come running up the tunnel, but then he couldn't let the tree attack her either.

Upon hearing her name she looked confused and then scared as if waking up to a nightmare. "DUCK!" James yelled, his heart skipping a beat as he spotted a branch swing down low straight at her-

With a sickening _thud_ the thick branch slammed into Lily's stomach and lifted her off her feet. She didn't even have time to scream before she was thrown back in a wide arc and gravity yanked her body back onto the ground. She lay there winded, unsure of how she got there from her room but definitely aware that she was at the mercy of the Whomping Willow.

"LILY!" James was suddenly at her side, gathering her into a bundle. The tree was eerily quiet and Lily wondered vaguely if it had given up. "You have to get out of here, quick!" Lily began to nod assuming that he meant that just in case the tree decided to strike again but then a hair-raising howl filled the night air. She clutched James' arm as a second louder and more chilling howl echoed after the first.

"You need to run Lily! Run!" James dropped her back to her feet giving her a shove towards the castle. Bewildered she took a few steps towards the direction of pointed safety but hesitated expecting James to follow her. Instead he stood where he was, his attention entirely focused on one spot at the base of the tree. Without taking his eyes away from that spot he pulled out his wand. The next thing Lily knew he was changing shape rapidly. Seeming to grow, his form almost liquefying and expanding to take the shape of something much larger.

A _stag_! Lily thought, riveted to the spot. Movement tore her gaze away from the new James to the base of the tree where a huge dog emerged-

-Followed by a _werewolf_! Lily had never seen such a beast before but it didn't take an expert to recognize one. It sniffed the air and she could see its muscles quiver as it caught her scent and turned to look directly at her. Feeling fear spread from the pit of her stomach she couldn't help but stare back frozen like a stunned rabbit while her mind screamed at her to run.

Her view was suddenly blocked as the stag- _James _placed itself between her and the werewolf with his head lowered, ready to charge. With a snarl the werewolf launched itself in her direction stopping short of the charging stag. The dog was also there at an instant, snapping and snarling at it but Lily knew that her face and scent was already imprinted in the werewolf's mind and there was no stopping it. The stag bucked, intending to drive it back into the hole but the werewolf retaliated with huge swipes of its massive paw.

Defenseless and helpless Lily turned and fled.

---

**A/N: **A friend of mine had a read of this chapter before I posted it and thought Lily seemed a bit chicken to be running off. I did consider changing it but then I decided that no, she wasn't being chicken at all. I mean, she was obviously the only human there and naturally the werewolf would go for humans, she didn't have a wand and although she can do some magic without it the effects would not be powerful enough. I don't think its a bit stretched to say that after sleepwalking again and waking up to be bulldozed by a tree and then seeing a werewolf merits a healthy dollop of fear. What do you guys think?


	6. Darkest Secret

**A/N:** Wow guys! Thank you all for your reviews! Made my day! Hehe! I'm glad I stuck to my idea and let Lily run away!

**TO:** LilyProngs. The dreams are definitely trying to get Lily somewhere...to where exactly and the reason will come up in later chapters! XXx

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DARKEST SECRET

Lily tore down the corridors trying to scream at the top of her voice. She needed to let McGonagall, Dumbledore, _anyone_ know! James was outside fighting off a _werewolf_. It didn't matter that he could turn into a stag, he was..._just James_! A regular albeit irritating guy she was in the same House as and shared her lessons with. Sure he was bright and excelled easily in most of his subjects but he was _just a student_, and now he was left outside fighting against a werewolf. If anything ever happened to him…Lily couldn't let herself think like that, nothing would happen to Potter.

Her frustration against herself made her want to scream again except...she wasn't making any sound. Her mouth was open, her vocal chords vibrated but all she could hear was the pounding of her own feet and the pumping of blood rushing to her head. She skidded to a stop her hands flew to her throat as it contracted.

---

James lowered his great antlered head and charged, this time catching Remus up between the forked ends. Keeping his head low he galloped at full speed back to the gap in the trunk and tossed the snarling werewolf in with a huge swing of his neck. Sirius leapt straight into the hole after Remus, his wide maws snapping to chase him back down the tunnel.

James waited head lowered, dutifully guarding the exit in case he managed to get past Sirius. Adrenaline pumped around his stag body and sweat steamed off his great flank. The underside of his stomach hurt, as did the side of his neck where Remus had dug his claws in attempt to get around him. Were it not for his thick hide the wounds would have gone deep and would have certainly killed him had he been in his human form.

Several pounding minutes later a human shaped Sirius emerged from the gap. He was bleeding slightly on his forehead where a cut snaked into his hairline but that was his only visible wound. Seeing Sirius signalled that Remus was safe back at the Shrieking Shack and James collapsed. Unable to stand up on his four legs any longer he fell, hitting the floor on his two knees in his original form. He got up again almost immediately; staggering to his feet as Sirius handed him the Invisibility cloak and the map.

He knew what James had to do, it wasn't just a personal matter now; Dumbledore would get into trouble if anyone found out that he had accepted a werewolf as a student, Remus would most likely be expelled along with the rest of the Marauders for being illegal Animagi. The Ministry of Magic will undoubtedly be involved; the list was endless and Lily had seen it all. There was no knowing what she might say and to whom and now the responsibility lay with James to stop her.

"We won't need the map." He said to James. Remus, Peter and himself would return shortly before dawn when most of the castle was still fast asleep. "Don't worry, I'll stay with Moony tonight."

"Thanks, Padfoot." James turned to leave, his wand pointed at the map while he muttered, "_I solemnly swear that I am up to no good_." "

"Oi, Prongs!"

James turned around. "What?"

Sirius grimaced and gave him a once over look. "Have the decency to clean up before you meet your girl. You look terrible!"

James forced a grin. "Go chase your own tail."

Sirius returned the remark with a grin that lit up his battered face and began to shout for Peter to return. "Hey, Wormtail! Get your ass back here! The fun's all over!" James heard rustling leaves in a nearby bush in response to the call and shook his head as he quickly jogged off to the castle following the tiny ink dot that was labelled Lily Evans.

---

Lily gagged. Out of breath and scared she leaned heavily against a stone wall. For the first time in her life she questioned something she thought she would never care for. Where _exactly _did the teachers _sleep?_ Ridiculous as it were, she did not know. She had tried McGonagall's office but it was empty and dark as were several others she had burst into. Her voice had not returned and the need for haste was urgent. In a sudden rush of memory Lily started making her way to Dumbledore's office; the Headmaster had his own tower that _had_ to be where he slept!

---

Hidden in his cloak James headed straight for the dot that floated across the map erratically. However, he and Lily weren't the only people who were up and about at this time of night. Two familiar dots labelled Filch and Mr. Cronks was also prowling the corridors, unfortunately they were prowling on the very same one as both James and Lily. James quickened his pace. He could see the vague outline of Filch ahead of him, the caretaker's feet shod in worn slippers padded silently. Mr. Cronks, his cat was sniffing the air as it walked next to him. Lily was just around the corner and if she kept walking she would be caught head on. Clutching the cloak so that he was fully concealed he brushed past the cat and man as quietly as he could but Mr. Cronks' hair prickled at the smell of blood and sweat. Filch noticed this immediately and began to look around him.

"I know you're here." He warned. Hurrying down the darkened corridor James ran into Lily and plucked her away from the centre and pressed them both against the wall. She struggled with the unseen force that had suddenly grabbed her.

"Shh! It's me!" James whispered sharply. "Filch is coming down." Lily blinked into the emptiness in front of her just as Filch turned the corner. "Don't move. Need to get this over you." A brush of soft material swept around her body and fell over her face.

All at once she saw the shaded white of his shirt and before her face met up with his chest where the material muffled her ragged breathing. Pressed into James Lily held her breath as the Mr. Cronks suddenly appeared right beside them and looked straight at her. It took her a few seconds to understand that the cat was looking at her but not _seeing_ her. Then she realised that she and James must be hiding under the infamous Invisibility Cloak that was rumoured to be in James Potter's possession. If she wasn't so scared about being caught she would have marvelled at the cloak a bit more but Mr. Cronks was approaching closer them, sniffing the air.

At the same time, James was also thinking about the cloak, in their early years the cloak had managed to conceal three of the four Marauders at best but as the years went on it's usefulness dropped. There simply wasn't enough of the amazing material to cover the full-grown boys. Now at a stretch it just about covered James' tall frame and Lily who was considerably smaller.

Another thought occurred to James as Lily's arms tightened around him; under different circumstances he would have died a happy man to have had Lily in such close proximity to him, namely in his arms. However, her tightened grip alerted him of two things: he needed oxygen _now_ and that _damn_ cat was practically _sniffing _his foot!

Mr. Cronks let out a long yowl and Filch came running towards them to investigate already shouting "Ah Ha! I've got you!" He stopped when he saw Mr. Cronks 'pointing' at nothing. James seized on Filch's momentary confusion and leapt over the cat taking Lily with him.

The older man chased after them immediately spurred by the definite movement of someone passing right under his nose. They ran as fast as possible not caring that Filch could see and occasional arm or leg when the cloak fell away with movement. He ran and shouted obscenities that even Peeves wouldn't dare use but his shouting soon grew faint as they easily outran him and were back safe in the Gryffindor Common Room in no time.

Once the door was closed James pulled off the cloak and sat Lily down in front of the embers of the fireplace. She opened her mouth immediately as she tried to wordlessly speak.

"Before I remove the spell, I need you to promise me one thing." James said, willing her to listen to him before the worse could happen. The stakes were high and James would never do anything that would hurt Moony. He gripped his wand, if need be he would use a memory charm, _even _on Lily but only as a last resort.

Unaware that she may soon lose a certain part of her memory Lily arched a brow at the word "_spell_" but nodded to let him finish.

"I will try to tell you what's going on as much as I can but I can say now that it won't be much." He took a shaky breath and swallowed, feeling the soreness on his neck. "I want you to promise me that you won't ask me any questions." She stared at him eyes narrowed as if sizing his words up. To his relief she gave another small nod. He raised his wand and muttered the counter spell to release her of the hex that had been automatically cast upon her when she saw him transform. It was one of the many precautions the Marauders had employed in case they were discovered. It wasn't a long-term solution but it offered enough time for them to fix things in worst-case scenarios; tonight being a prime example. It was known amongst the four friends as 'damage control', the spell itself was by James' own design and wand.

Lily let out a deep breath as her throat unclenched. That was one _mean _hex. It was much more than an average _Silencio _spell and definitely not one that had been taught in a classroom. Just how much 'out of class' spells did James know?

Without warning she seized the front of his shirt in both fists. "I thought you was going to die!" She yelled heatedly. "What the hell were you thinking? Does your ego addle your brain so much that you want to test yourself against a werewolf?"

"No!" James hurt because her suddenness was jarring his wounds and also hurt that she would think him to be that stupid. So maybe he often did some pretty stupid things but he wasn't quite suicidally stupid yet.

"You scared the life out of me! I was so certain that by the time I managed to get help it would be too late." To her horror she found herself sobbing angrily. Thankfully she wasn't quite crying, though she was humiliatingly close. It was the worst feeling in the world, to know that every second longer that she took could be someone else's last. She blamed herself for not being able to do anything and she blamed Potter for being so completely stupid in putting himself in that predicament.

James sat back as far as his hostage-held shirt allowed, he was stunned to say the least at seeing Lily teary eyed and so completely distraught. It had never occurred to him that she would even feel bad if he were to die but he knew that was silly. This was Lily, who cried when she read books, cried when she found a hurt animal and cried with her friends when they were upset! Of course she would cry if she thought he was going to die even if she did think he was a toerag. It was strange but to know that she would cry for him was somehow comforting.

"Why didn't you run away with me when you still could?"

_Because I'd never leave Moony and Padfoot like that._

James' throat went dry. "I was doing what I thought was best."

"What fighting one on one with a _werewolf_? Potter, are you crazy?"

"How far away do you think that we would have gotten? Werewolves run bloody fast, there was no way we could have outrun him."

Lily wanted to throttle the guy. The crazy idiot was not only egotistically mad enough to think he could take on a werewolf but now he was also gender assigning them. "You don't know that!"

"Yes I do! You haven't seen the way he outruns deer or seen him jump either."

"Oh and you have?"

James opened his mouth but thought better than to answer. He'd already said too much. "Oi! I said no questions!"

"Hmph!" Lily released his shirt but almost instantly he grabbed hold of her wrists. "Hey! Get off-"

"You're bleeding!" Both she and James stared at her red stained hands.

"No, you're the one bleeding!" She gasped, unable to understand how she hadn't noticed the great splash of blood across his shirt earlier. "We have to get you to Madame Pom-"

James cut her off. "I can't go to Madam Pomfrey because she's going to have a lot of questions I won't be able to answer to."

Lily looked like she was about to argue but decided against it. James could almost read the logic that she was quietly forming in her mind. What was the point with arguing with someone as stubborn and dim as a troll?

"Fine. Wait here." She said curtly and disappeared up the stairs that lead to the girls' dormitory. A minute later she reappeared carrying a small green case. James watched mesmerised as she unscrewed a small bottle and tipped some strong smelling liquid on a cotton pad.

"What are you doing?" he edged back as she leaned over with the pad.

"Cleaning the cuts out." Lily said exasperated. "Come here, it won't hurt." James obediently moved back in front of her offering her his neck but still highly suspicious of the moist pad.

"Gah! What the hell is that stuff?" James cried out as she wiped it liberally on the now stinging cuts. "That hurts!"

"You've got to get these cleaned out or it will get infected. Get back here!" She yanked him back to her as he pulled away. "It's antiseptic. Muggles use it." She said and applied the offensive pad straight back on his neck. After that she unceremoniously tugged his shirt open to attack the claw trenches across his gut. James tried not to whimper as she went about with her task. Never in his life had he ever imagined that this would be how Lily stripped him of his shirt. There was no regard for his dignity or any remote sign of the gentleness he had seen her treat every other living creature with; it was like James Potter was the only one who did not merit such compassion.

"Ow!"

"Stop moving!"

James continued to complain as she cleaned out the clawed flesh and bandaged it. "Why does it still hurt?" Even after she finished with his neck and stomach it felt like he was on fire and the pain refused to go away. The Marauders made many trips to Madam Pomfrey throughout their years and many a time it hurt when she healed them but afterwards they always felt as good as new, this Muggle healing seriously needed some tweaking.

"Of course it will, it will also itch while it heals and you are not to scratch them!" Lily snapped as she returned all the bottles and unused bandage to her first aid kit. "Now, tell me what the _hell _is going on?" She crossed her arms. "And no more shirking. Why were you at the Whomping Willow and why on earth was there a werewolf and a dog there?" She demanded clearly ignoring her promise of asking no questions.

James squirmed suddenly feeling more uncomfortable than while he had his wounds cleaned. He wanted to tell Lily everything and explain properly to her but he absolutely refused to break his loyalty to his friends in order to do so.

"I am an illegal Animagus." He said simply after coming to the conclusion that he could not explain anything else to her without dragging everybody else in.

Lily waited, expecting that there would be more but he looked away. What about the werewolf? The dog? Or were not important enough to be mentioned? Moments passed, as she stared at him until he returned her penetrating gaze unflinchingly. As he did so Lily could see that on this matter he would not give way.

"I'm sorry but that is all I can say."

"There's a werewolf loose on the school premises, Potter. This is serious."

"I know this is serious! But he isn't-"

"James, I don't care what it is that you're hiding but I'm going to have to tell Dumbledore-"

Something of absolute horror worked itself onto James' face. "Lily, don't!" He pleaded and took hold of her wrist as she tried to stand up.

"You've got to believe me on this; the werewolf isn't running free."

Lily bit her lip, she was scared and confused and had no idea what to think. The Head Girl in her told her to march straight up to Dumbledore's office and tell him everything that she had seen but deep down she knew that in an odd manner she believed James. He could be foolish at times but this time she could see that he was sincere.

"Are sure that it won't hurt any more people?" She asked at length.

"Positive."

"And tonight's incident will never happen again to anyone?"

"Never again." He promised. "Lily, I swear on my head that the werewolf would never hurt anyone. You can tell Dumbledore about me being an illegal Animagus, I don't mind. Just don't mention anything else. It's all my fault and I never meant for any of this to happen."

Whatever Head-Girl-duty-driven resolves that Lily had crumbled. She had never seen Potter like this. Whatever it was that he was protecting it must mean a lot for him. Before this night she would never have thought someone like Potter to be selfless. If people found out that he was an illegal Animagus he would be expelled on the spot and the Ministry would not take kindly to him either.

Lily was begrudgingly impressed; firstly becoming an Animagus was no small feat and secondly to willingly accepting the vast consequences was not something everyone could do. "What were you doing out there tonight?"

James looked down. "I can't tell you."

She had a million questions but if this was all that he was willing to tell her there was nothing else she could do. Admittedly, she was as curious as anything as well as a fair deal worried but she couldn't be unreasonable when he was clearly adamant about not telling her.

"Fine." She stood up and headed towards the stairs again. Her mind still racing with questions she found herself recalling odd moments about the four guys. They had a strong bond that did not extend to others. Highly popular the foursome was strange, full of bizarre and often dangerous ideas. Sometimes blowing things up or setting off a fireworks display in a classroom and called them exotic names...names...they even called each other strange names. Padfoot, Wormtail, Moony and _Prongs_...

Everything became crystal clear, or as clear as it was going to get for her. A huge _dog_, _Padfoot_! A _stag_, _Prongs_! A _werewolf_..._Moony_... Now sense began to fall in with the clarity. So this was their darkest secret, this was what he was protecting. Lily turned just as she reached the stairs and met James' dark eyes once more.

"Goodnight, _Prongs_."

---

**A/N:** Just to say that Mr. Cronks is actually Mrs. Norris predecessor. I've decided that Mrs. Norris' time takes his place sometime before Harry joins Hogwarts but after James left.


	7. Red Temper

**A/N:** Thank you guys once again for your lovely reviews. They are amazing and they make me write! The quirky ideas just keep coming! I'm trying to piece them together but still needs some work. I have a vague idea of what might happen in the story but I'm also open to ideas! So what you think people? What would you like to happen and I'll try incorporate some ideas in!

**TO:** ember marieclaire I was meant to write this message in the previous chapter but I forgot to stick it on so here it is. I do think you should go on to write your next chapter, I would like to see more of Peeves and as a tribute to you I thought I would mention Peeves (in last chapter) in the story! You reminded me there was such a character that I had totally forgotten about, he is one source of major mischief; I'm sure he would be useful in this story. XXx

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RED TEMPER

_She doesn't know. _

James tried to reason with himself but his better judgment was arguing back with a gut feeling he was trying very hard to turn a blind eye to.

She _knows_.

Lily never called him 'Prongs'. He had always been 'Potter' or any possible abusive name that she could come up with on the spot but _never ever_ 'prongs'. It wasn't exactly hard to figure out once she had seen what type of animal he could change into and the names were kind of self-explanatory...

Had he been wrong in not using a memory charm? No, James trusted his own judgment of character and it was highly unlikely that Lily would turn them in. However it was unsettling to know that someone outside of the four knew their secret.

Moony had returned with Padfoot and Wormtail in the early hours of the morning. He was pinched with tiredness, looking a lot more scratched and damaged than the others did. He was also withdrawn and very quiet. He listened with indifference to James' suspicion of their secret circle now increased to accommodate five people. Then for the rest of the time, the others respectfully left him alone, patiently waiting for him to start speaking to them first. They knew it must be painful for him to be aware yet have absolutely no control over his lupine instinct. At the same time they also knew they could never truly understand it either.

And so the day stretched on. After lunch they trooped to Potions, a double lesson that the Gryffindors shared with Slytherin. It was a lesson that the Marauders traditionally loved partly due to the amount of friction that they could cause between the Houses.

By the time they got there, half the class had were already seated. James spotted Lily chatting animatedly to her best friend Cerise with Yoanna listening in with a smile. Automatically James made a beeline to her but surprisingly Remus got there first.

"Lily, I uh...wanted to say that I'm truly sorry about...about..." he started with great difficulty and aware that Lily's friends were also listening with curious looks.

"Remus!" Lily looked quite taken aback. Remus didn't dare meet her gaze because he felt a kind of shame that he could not explain. "Remus." She said again, this time more gently. "It's okay. I understand." She said quietly, offering a smile. Remus met her glance. "Honest." Lily made a cross shape over her heart.

Sirius and James having witnessed everything also approached the desk. The two girls that were already seated in the row in front of Lily's was forced to move away so that there were enough room for the guys. Sirius smoothly caught Remus in a headlock and dragged him onto the seat.

"You see that, Moony? We live yet another day as free men!" He declared.  
Remus smiled for the first time that day, grateful and relieved. James flopped down onto Lily's desk with admiration. Not everyone could accept a werewolf as easy as that. Of course he and the guys were different because they had already been good friends when they found out.

"You've just reinforced every single thing I feel for you." He told her. Lily rolled her eyes in disgust but Cerise leaned forward, interested in what he had to say.

"And what are these feeling for our Dear Lily then?" she purred. "Has it something to do with Remus' apology." She grinned like a person who had just happened across a juicy piece of gossip.

"No Cee Cee, you don't want to know." Lily interrupted effectively dropping the subject to a halt. Not wanting to draw attention back to Remus, James said no more and got into his seat just in time as Sirius spotted Severus Snape walk in. James shook his head to himself as the pallid Snape deliberately walked straight by them as if wanting to start something.

Lily gave a low moan of disgust. These boys had some issues that they felt needed to be resurfaced every time one or the other was present.

"Don't-" She began to warn but Sirius was already starting.

"Pale, hook nosed and as greasy as ever. Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Hogwarts' finest. The ugly, Miss Severus!" Sirius pretended to commentate as a beauty pageant host. Beside him Peter snorted with a laugh whilst James grinned. Others around also snickered and Remus opened his book.

"Had to fight each other again like _animals _I see." Snape growled, the corners of his thin mouth lifting ever so slightly. Remus, Sirius and James tensed. Peter stopped his giggling immediately. Snape's words had double meanings. James wondered how he could have blissfully thought there were just five of them that knew; the secret circle was extended to six with one member highly unwelcome. Snape discovered their secret due to an unfortunate prank but he had sworn secrecy to Dumbledore, however this never quite stopped Snape using it as a weapon in their arguments. "Or were you just itching to pass your fleas to each other?"

Lily narrowed her eyes. Some light was shed at last but did Snape know? There was silence in the classroom as everyone waited eagerly to see what would happen next. "They do look bruised and I can see bandages. I wonder what they've been up to." Cerise whispered to Lily who shrugged guiltily. She never was good at lying so she opted to feign ignorance.

"Don't make me regret saving your greasy ass, _Snivellus_." James warned, his voice low and losing the charm it usually held. This part was beyond Lily but she knew if she didn't do something it would end up with drawn wands just like it always did.

"Potter, stop this right NOW!" she said with her most no-nonsense tone. Cerise tugged at the sleeve of her robe wanting her to not interfere.

James turned around to face her with a restored smile. "I will if you go out with-" he stopped. It was always the first thing that always came to his head and it had taken a lot will power to stop it since it began in his fifth year. It never worked and he had no idea why it suddenly came back.

"Shut up, Mudblood. Who asked you to join in?" Snap snapped. Lily bit her lip and looked up to the ceiling with a strange sense of Déjà vu. Contrary to everyone else, the term hardly offended her at all. She was Muggle born after all and some things just didn't bother her as much as it would others.

James was on his feet in a second, wand already in hand. Sirius were also up glaring at Snape. Snape stared back with equal loathing on his skinny face.

"Hey! HEY!" Lily also got up moving around the desk to stand beside the fuming James. "PUT THAT WAND DOWN! This is MY business." She forcibly tried to push James back onto his seat but he held his ground.

"What so I take it you are siding with low class filthy _dogs_, now Mudblood?" Snape sneered giving Sirius a pointed look as he spoke. Sirius stepped forward but Lily yanked him back by the collar of his robes and snatched away his wand.

"Shut up, Severus. There's no reason for all this." She said coolly but Snape continued.

"Figures, can't expect anything better from a _dirty blooded_ witch such as yourself."

"I SAID, 'THIS IS MY BUSINESS'!" Lily shouted as James made another move at Snape.

Snape now felt that he had the upper hand. "Shouldn't even be allowed to be called a witch. Good-for-nothing-" Lily had had enough; her patience had been tried and tested. She seized James' wand and together with Sirius' wand she pointed them at Snape. "I said SHUT UP and I _mean_ it!"

Snape's eyes flickered down his hooked nose to the dangerous points of the two wands giving him a cross-eyed look. He wasn't stupid, he knew what Lily was capable of doing and he made the right choice by backing off. He glared at her all the while, his eyes never leaving hers until he sat down in an empty seat.

The Marauders were impressed and also rather frightened by Lily's anger but they were not happy over how the confrontation ended. By the end of the lesson just as they were leaving James did the quickest bit of magic on record. With a point of his wand he had Snape sprouting unsightly hair from his ears making him look like his side burns had gone horribly wrong.

"It's to match you nose!" he called out as the crowd pushed him out of the class.

---

**A/N:** I must say that I'm not particularly fond of this chapter but I felt the story needed something different so that it didn't feel like it was being rushed forward. Plus, Lily seemed awfully understanding and accepting in the last chapter so maybe it was time to show that she's human after all and does have a temper. As for James, he's a Marauder after all and going neck to neck with Snape is part of the job description.

Chap: of course she would have figured it out, she wasn't stupid. Snape. Rose. Sirius flirt potions class. I'll stop if…trails off, both know what he was about to say.


	8. Follow Me

**A/N:** Thank you for your reviews!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the HP characters.

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FOLLOW ME

Yoanna couldn't sleep.

After tossing and turning in her bed for hours she finally gave up and sat up frustrated. Her foster parents had been _good_ people. They were Muggles and had accepted her even when they found out she was a witch when she reached the age of eleven. They didn't deserve to...

She shook her head clearing out her thoughts. Surrounding herself in grief wouldn't help at all. She needed to be strong and positive to get through this. This was not how it will end, she swore that she would work hard and become a powerful witch and she will fight, even if it _killed _her.

Grief gave way to a smouldering anger as she began to pace the room. One of the other sleeping girls grunted in her sleep breaking Yoanna away from her thoughts. Not wanting to wake any of them she decided that she should go pace elsewhere.

The Common room was quiet and cool, the fire dying in the alcove making shadows dance around the room. Yoanna's nose prickled and she let out and almighty sneeze. Another one followed before she could stop it. Sniffing and cursing at the same time she began looking around for the source of irritation. Her nose had always been sensitive and the slightest thing such as dust, animal hair or pollen would send her into a sneezing frenzy.

She scrunched her nose up as she spotted a long trail of something white. Holding a tissue to her nose she bent down to inspect it. Pinching a bit between her index and thumb she determined that it was flour. What was flour doing on the flour and in a trail? She began to follow it immediately. One end lead to the Common Room exit and the other...she followed this side first. It led up the stairs to the girls' dormitory and into one of the rooms. She knew who to whom it belonged to because she had been in it many times before and she knew to whose bed it lead to. The empty bed belonged to Lily Evans. She could hear two steady breathing from the four other beds but nothing from the fifth curtained bed. Where had Lily gone at this time of night? And why would she leave a trail of flour? Overcome with curiosity Yoanna backtracked and followed the trail back and out through the Common Room exit.

---

Sirius chuckled silently to a private joke that he and James shared. They were on their way back from the Slytherin Common Room. It was the first testing of their new Key and it was successful. The place had been underground; the room was more like a dungeon than a common room. It had a low ceiling and was littered with spooky green lights with matching green chairs.

"What a dump." Sirus had exclaimed as he surveyed the Slytherin 'snake nest', as he preferred to call it.

"A nest that breeds out all sorts of crap." James agreed out of habit rather than opinion. Certain individuals from Slytherin still annoyed him but he found that increasingly he wasn't as indiscriminate against them anymore. Sirius on the other hand was still firmly convinced that every single one of them was trouble waiting to happen. James suspected that it had a lot to do with his brother and the fact that every family member he despised had been sorted into the Slytherin House in their time.

"Damn right…" Sirius nodded and the pair silently surveyed the room. There were many wards and charms to prevent students from other houses to enter of course and Sirius would eat his wand if the Slytherin hadn't added one or two colourful hexes to the lot. It didn't matter anyway because they didn't need to go in to test their key or to complete the second objective of their late night excursion.

James tossed the dozen or so hand grenade like objects in, making sure they were distributed out evenly. They were one of their newest acquirements and one of their most amusing yet.

"Right, as soon as someone says the magic word then _poof_! They all go off and Eau de Marauders will cover everyone in the room and I'm positive that we've added enough spice for it to spread to the dormitories as well." Sirius grinned wickedly.

"That will teach Snivelly." James said, still feeling grated about the incident earlier.

"Teach them all." Sirius said firmly. "Can't wait till we tell Remus about this. Killed two birds with one stone."

"He's wiped out. Wait till morning, hopefully someone would have said the word by then. He'll enjoy the news more then because he'll be able to _see_ and_ smell_ it." James had decided that he wouldn't wake Remus up before they set of to do their deed because he was always exhausted after each full moon. As for Peter, if he went to bed nothing short of the earth collapsing would be budge the boy. James was going to carry it out solo but Sirius, tired as he was couldn't bear to not be involved. They would both suffer the next day but all the tiredness would be more than worth it.

James yawned broadly to confirm how much sleep he was lacking. They reached the Gryffindor portrait and the Fat Lady eyed them disapprovingly.

"Where have you boys been?" She crossed her arms.

"We were hungry, so we went to the kitchens for a snack." Sirius replied, putting a heartfelt charming expression on that he used when he was trying to be sincere.

The soft spot that the Fat Lady had reserved for the Marauders kicked in and her irritation melted immediately. "All right boys, remember that you are not supposed to be out of bed at this hour. Password?" Technically that wasn't true because James was Head Boy but both boys were smart enough to stay on her good side.

Before James could even say "_Tickled Berries_" the door swung open and Yoanna stepped out. Her surprised mirrored theirs and jumped at being caught out of bed.

"Well, hello there!" Sirius said with a great smile as if he had a perfectly legitimate reason for being there himself. "And where are you off to on this fine evening." It was closer to morning but that didn't matter. Sirius would smooth talk his way out of this and that one easily.

Yoanna suddenly felt like she was in her first year again as she nervously tucked some of her hair behind her ear. "I was urm...going to see where the flour led to." She pointed at the scattered mound that James had carelessly stepped all over because he hadn't seen it.

Sirius brows went up and he flicked some hair away from his eyes. "Where did that come from?"

Yoanna shrugged. "Well I couldn't sleep so I came down and I saw this. The other end leads to Lily's bed-"

James' head snapped up at the mention of Lily. "Lily, where is she? Was she not in bed?" Yoanna shook her head. James frowned. Why would Lily possibly be out of bed? Last night came flooding back to him. Lily had been wandering towards the Whomping Willow like she was in a trance, or sleepwalking! He moved to follow the trail immediately and Sirius automatically followed.

"Prongs, what are you doing?"

"Looking for Lily. _Lumos_!" he replied as he held up the end of his wand so he could see the trail more clearly.

"What is there to say that Lily is at the end of this?"

"Nothing but it's our best bet. She could be wandering..." He was about to say "like last night" but he noticed that Yoanna was right behind them, skipping lightly down the stone steps intent on following the flour too. He gave Sirius a pointed look.

Sirius understood immediately. "Hang on, it'll be easier if I go back and get the map. Come on Yoanna, do you mind accompanying me?" If Lily had gone back to the tree Yoanna might discover the secret entry to the tunnel and they couldn't let that happen.

"Map? What map? We can't go back because we'll lose the trail. Look." By now they were outside of the castle and she was pointing at the rapidly disappearing trail on the grass. They were losing the flour to the light cool breeze. James and Sirius exchanged a look. She was right.

"No map, sorry didn't know what I was going on about there." Sirius answered lightly and followed on silently. James and Sirius' caution grew with every step that the trail took them towards the Whomping Willow. Relief washed over them as the trail veered left suddenly just short of the tree. The relief was welcome but brief and James felt a shiver run through him because the trail led straight into the _Forbidden Forrest..._

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**A/N:** Yes, I know this chapter wasn't very satisfying but the next stuff that happens does so in a chunk and would make the chapter very very long. Treat this as like a build up because _they are_ going IN that forest!


	9. Temptation

**A/N:** This is it people, the beginning of that big chunk. It will be split into three separate chapters. I'm warning now that some things may not be what they seem yet! xXx

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Temptation Lily's eyes watered, someone had just slapped her very hard leaving her cheek stinging. Confused and angry she turned to the offending person.

"What was that for?!" she yelled at her before she recognized the girl with the chocolate colored hair.

"Shh!" she hissed back. "You don't know what might hear us!"

"What are you on about-?" Lily stopped in mid-sentence and a slow gasp escaped her. Eyes wide she stared at the darkness around her. It was her _dream;_ she hadn't woken up. Undergrowth sprouted from the ground and huge trees loomed around her; the canopy of their tops covered the sky almost completely. She took a step back and a twig cracked underfoot the crisp sound made her jump. No, she was awake. Lily silently cursed the damn dream book.

"._..more often than not, when a person sleepwalks the destination to which the person is trying to get to solves the mystery of the cause of this peculiar habit...the subconscious mind is in effect trying to take the conscious mind to the root of which it stems from..." _

After reading that Lily decided that it was worth a try. She had made herself a large pouch with a hole that she filled with flour. Just in case she didn't remember where she had gone she would be able to follow it when she was awake. The flour! Lily searched around her but found no such trail, the flour had long since run out and her heart fell. Most of it would have blown away anyway because she had forgotten to cast a sticking spell on it.  
  
"We're in...the forest?" Lily said finally, still hoping that she wasn't although there was no were else she could be. Her hand went to her pocket where he new wand should be except it wasn't; it was left on her bedside table back at the dorm.

"You're a bright one." The girl replied. Her wand was dimly lit and held up in the dimness. Her sarcasm did not help the already frustrated Lily.

"What is your _problem_?" she demanded.

The Slytherin girl shrugged. "Not sure, maybe it was a traumatised childhood." Lily stared at her. "Jeez, don't take it so seriously, I was just kidding."

"That wasn't funny at all!" "I said keep your voice down! You're more trouble than your worth! I should have just left you to sleepwalk in here alone!"

"It's curious to know why you always seem to be out at this time of night when I'm sleepwalking!" Lily snapped back.

"It's called none of your business!" The girl's voice rose a little. "The least you can do in return for me waking you before you sleepwalked yourself into death is not pry in my business! Or at least wait until we weren't lost in this damn forest!"

"What? We're lost!" Lily cried out. "Weren't you taking notice of where we were going?"

"Well, can you tell the difference between this tree and this tree?" she pointed to two knotted and knobbly trees beside them. "Waking you from your zombie state wasn't exactly an easy feat neither!" Lily didn't get a chance to answer because the leaves rustled in the darkness behind them rustled. The two girls froze. Prior to that sound the forest had been spectacularly silent, no owls, night creatures, nothing but a ringing silence. The girl reached and gripped Lily's hand. "We need to get out of here." She whispered, her voice wavering as the undergrowth rustled again. Without intending to they turned and started running even though they could very well be running deeper into the forest and further away from safety.

* * *

Yoanna knew she had had made the wrong choice in choosing to go into the forest with the James and Serius, the regret grew steadily as they went deeper into the unknown depth. Even sandwiched between the two guys was not enough to settle her fears.

The ground was uneven and at times she was tripping more than walking. Sometimes there was a path but most of the time there wasn't. It felt like they had been walking for hours yet they could not have been walking for more than fifteen minutes. Nonetheless, all three were relieved when they came across a clearing where the moon and the stars actually shone through. In fact, it appeared unnaturally bright for such a dark night and cloudy night.

In the centre of the small clearing was a pool that was fed by a small waterfall. The water was tinkled pleasantly and the falling water hardly disturbed the mirror like body of water that steamed gently.

Yoanna turned to look for the flour trail again but apparently the guys weren't too eager to move on.

"It's a hot spring!" Sirius said, taking in the view and appreciating its tranquillity. James nodded, equally captivated by its quiet beauty.

"Guys, come on, lets get moving." Yoanna urged but they plainly ignored her.

"I need to get in, just to see what it feels like." James said as if she hadn't spoken.

"Me too." Sirius and James immediately began to undress until they were left with just their boxers. Shocked, Yoanna turned away pretending to find the bark on the tree was the most fascinating thing she had ever seen. What was this? The two seemed like different people! The concern for finding Lily was completely gone and now they wanted to take a dip. It just didn't make sense.

"Hey! What about Lily!" She called out, still facing the tree. There was no answer except for two small splashes as James and Sirius slipped into the water. Yoanna was suddenly angry; did they not care about Lily any more? Fine! If they wouldn't go look for her she will. Her hesitation to enter the darkness was overcome by her anger and she stomped along side the flour trail.

"What a life." James sighed, the warm water engulfing him in relaxation. Sirius slid deeper into the water feeling like any last worries and care he had in his life were drifting away with the water. The gentle ripples caressed his body and it took him a while to notice there was actually a hand caressing his shoulder! James also jumped as slender arms circled his body and he found himself staring into clear green eyes...

* * *

**A/N:** Evil!!!! I know I am. Next chapter will be "Stumble On My Grave"...do review as it will make me happy! 


	10. Stumble In My Grave

**A/N:** I'm pretty surprised at how fast I update too! The ideas just keep coming! Plus, you guys are really great with reviews so I can't get left behind!

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Lily had never run so fast in her whole life. They had blindly thrown themselves ahead and for all they knew they could have circled back and ended up exactly where they had started. The Slytherin girl stopped and doubled over gasping for breath. Lily lent against a tree equally out of breath. 

" She huffed. At least the rustling had stopped, now there was nothing except the sound of them struggling to regain their composure.

"Next...time...I'm...I'm...not...going anywhere...near you..." The girl straightened up. Lily wanted to say something back but reason argued with her anger and won. They were lost in the middle of the Forbidden Forest. The girl was as stuck as she was and like her, she was obviously upset. She wouldn't mind having a good _rant _herself but it wouldn't do either of them any good.

"In that case, when we get out you don't have to but for now you're stuck with me because you have no choice, unless you want to risk this trek solo." Lily said instead. Her statement must have struck sense in the girl because she dropped her attitude immediately.

"I know." If Lily was expecting an apology she would have been disappointed because she said nothing more. "I'm Lily Evans." Lily offered after a moment of silence between them. It was like the first day of school again except circumstance had wiped out the shyness in her when approaching strangers.

"Amiral...Rose Amiral." Lily nodded, the name sounded familiar but somehow she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"Right, Rose...Rosie." Lily started, automatically deciding on a nickname for her like she did everyone else. Rose frowned but didn't chase the matter. "Any ideas on how we could get out of here?"

"Would have said so already if I had."

Unperturbed Lily continued to voice her thoughts. "Hmmm. What spell could help us? A revealing charm on the flour trail? No, that's useless because I don't even know where the trail finished." She began to pace deep in thought. "If only we knew the general direction of the castle, we would go that way...we need...a _compass_!"

"A what?" Rosie asked looking at Lily as if she thought she was mad.

"Never mind, give me your wand." Rosie eyed Lily's outstretched hand suspiciously. It took a lot to trust someone with your wand and as far as Rosie was concerned Lily was still classed as "unknown grounds". Several times she had spotted this girl sleepwalking and the first time she almost lost her head to a tree and this time she was lost in the forest. Was it wise? Very slowly she plucked out her wand and gave it to her. Lily held the light wand out on her flat palm and said a quick charm that made the tip of the wand point North.

"Brilliant! It worked!"

Rosie did not see how it how the pointing wand had worked. It was just pointing into the darkness..._unless_ it was pointing at Hogwarts! She started in that direction but Lily stopped her and pushed her towards right of the wand.

"We go this way."   
  
"But why? It points that way." 

"That's because it's pointing North and we need to go East because this forest lays west of Hogwarts."

Rosie frowned, mentally trying to figure out the positioning when Lily suddenly lurched forward.

"Lily!" Rose had seen enough in her life and had enough sense to realise that something was very wrong. Lily was now on her arms and knees, her body convulsing like she was trying puke out her stomach. Nothing came out of her mouth but she continued to lurch.

"Don't you hear it?" A red faced Lily looked up at her when the need to be sick subsided.

"Hear what?" Rosie couldn't hear anything but her quickened breathing.

"Voices!" Lily's eyes widened and then rolled back before her body dropped to the ground.

"_Rise to me! Draw your strength to me and I will give you...power!" Lily was still in the forest but there were whispers_ everywhere. _So many people talking at once that she couldn't make out what was being said by whom. They were everywhere. Dark hooded people. Cloaked in shadows merging with darkness around her._

__   
  
_"Rise to me." Lily was drawn to that silky voice. It rang around her head, ricocheting around her skull until it found a niche where it embedded and sprouted roots. It grew, a grotesque growth that she no longer had control of.__   
  
"Rise to me..._

Rosie jumped back as Lily slowly rose to her feet. Without hesitation Lily turned and walked steadily into the darkness. Left with no choice Rosie picked up her wand from the floor and followed. Saddened with dread, Rosie had seen the haunted expression before; Lily was not the first to have the blank expression and the unmistakable grey that had entered her eyes. With certainty, Rosie _knew _that that girl was no longer Lily.

* * *

"Lily!" James exclaimed but then realised his mistake immediately. The girl with the green eyes and red hair wasn't Lily at all, just someone with an uncanny resemblance. The girl smiled and slid into the water in front of him, her arms now looped around his neck.

"Shh..." she cooed while playfully tracing a finger up and down his neck. James shivered. As much as he hated to admit it something was very wrong, but the warm water was making it very hard to think and she was awfully..._distracting_.

Sirius was also having a similar problem with a girl that wouldn't stop giggling. He was never a fan of giggly girls but any notion he had of leaving was long since expelled. Oh boy, we are in_ trouble_. He thought as she leaned in to kiss him.

* * *

Rosie followed silently. It was finally happening. She had been up patrolling Hogwarts ground ever since she had heard the rumours. Her heart pumped with excitement but she wished that she just wasn't so unprepared. Ahead, Lily had led them to a wide clearing that sloped up into a large mound with a flat cap. A crumbling piece of stone marked the mound for what it was. A _grave._ Not daring to go closer Rosie stayed at the base and watched. Wand at hand.

Lily placed both her hands flat on to the mossy ground, her unseeing eyes looking with intensity at the same spot. Goosebumps prickled Rosie's arms as the wind suddenly died down. She craned her neck to see better. The quietness was palpable but there was something stirring in the air-

-A kind of energy that she could almost taste in her mouth. With an unexpected rush the wind picked up again except it was no natural wind, it gushed out of the spot where Lily had her hands and continued to blow out in torrents. Rosie shielded her eyes with a hand and fought to keep them open from the tornado that was building in the clearing. She could just about make out a mass of red that was Lily's hair before a piercing scream also pierced the storm-

-Lily was screaming, a scream that conveyed utmost terror and pain- 

- Her hands were sinking into the hard dirt as if the ground didn't exist. She continued to scream as she went elbow deep. With a jolt her hands under the ground were scrabbling against something hard and slender. Her right hand closed around it and with an almighty effort she yanked both her hands back and she was released from the death grip and tumbling down the mound. Winded and scared she scrambled to her feet with Rosie's help.

"_Who dares stumble in my grave_?" a deep voice boomed. The sound reverberated up every tree and they felt it shake their very bones. The mound cracked and the ground shook. They stared in horror as the cracked earth lifted like gross lips and literally opened. Something shouldered its way out of the new hole, something more hideous than their wildest nightmare. It showered them with dirt and mud as it squeezed itself out. Larger than any grown man it had four claw like legs that were hardened and black. It's upper torso the colour of dead flesh was speckled with darker patches of fungi growth. Its massive head with beady eyes stared at them like burning coals. What caught Lily's eye was the flesh like ropes that curled around its muscular arms like snakes. The huge beast belched and expelled vile air over them and growled again. "You _dare_ disturbed my slumber! Return _it_!"

Lily shook uncontrollably. She didn't know what_ it_ was. She had no idea what had happened. One minute she had made a compass and the next minute she was being sucked into the ground and now there was this..._monster_.

Rosie grabbed her wrist. "_Run_!"

* * *

**A/N:** AHHH!!! A touch irritated that this didn't come out quite how I had imagined it but still, here it is. I hope it's not too much of a disappointment and I apologise if it is. I can feel a real case of writer's block coming out even though I have ideas because I just don't know how to write them down. Just in case my story telling is a bit poo and I've left most of you guys scratching your heads; I need to explain that Lily is in fact being controlled sometimes but I can't tell you by whom and for what reason because it will ruin story for you. Rose is an interesting character because at this point it is unclear on what her intentions are, she is the real "unknown grounds". As for James and Sirius...well, they will realise soon enough that they are in a spot of bother as a result of a not too pleasant spell of temptation.  
  
Next chapter is "_Creatures of the Dark_"


	11. Creatures Of The Dark Part One

**A/N:** reviews!!! Thank you all!!!Keep guessing people because it makes me write!!

* * *

Behind them the monster thundered through the overgrowth, tearing down trees and stamping down earth. Lily and Rosie ran without the luxury of picking out a path as it bulldozed a road behind them. Twigs, leaves and vines snatched at their faces and pulled onto their clothing."There's someone in front of us!" Lily shouted unsure whether she could be heard over the destructive force behind. The figure, a girl froze like a deer upon seeing them approaching."Yoanna!" Lily yelled and dragged her along as she ran past. "No time for questions just run!" Dense growth forced them to move in a single file making their progress slow but Lily felt hopeful because at last she had spotted traces of her flour trail. Fortunately the increase in tree density had also slowed down their pursuer. Still, its presence was ever there and nothing was about to stop Lily from escaping until she suddenly found no more ground beneath her feet. With a scream she fell down and landed with a heavy splash that was quickly followed by two others. Their road had ended abruptly and they had fallen into some sort of pool. Still spurred on by the need to move the girls waded across until they emerged from around a boulder-"_James_?!" Lily was the first to spot the two boys and their happy party. James jumped at the shriek of his name looking like he had just woken up from a dream. He flushed and pulled himself out of the arms of a very beautiful red headed girl. _Naked _red headed girl, Lily corrected. It would have been comical were they not being chased by four-legged monster. Sirius also looked startled at the sight of three soaked girls wading towards them and also pulled away from the exotic girl beside him."Monster close behind, need to get out of here, NOW!" Lily was the first to reach them but immediately jumped back as the pretty red hair girl suddenly let out a high pitched hiss. Sharp nails barely missed Lily and she cried out in surprise."Hey!" James pushed her away from him and made his way to Lily. He was fully awake now and the cotton happiness he had earlier drained away."OI!" Sirius shouted as the exotic girl grabbed hold of him and began pulling him back into the water with surprising strength while he tried to climb out.Rose pointed her wand at the back of the girl and flung her backwards making her hit the boulder with a thud. "They're Sirens!" she yelled. No one else apart from her seemed to know what a Siren was but she reacted quickly again as the red headed one made a grab for James. Nails scratched across his chest as the Siren tried to clasp onto him._CRASH_!!!!The monster splashed into the pool. Both Sirens turned, their limbs seeming to elongate and mouths opened. They let out a chorus of hisses that got louder as their mouths opened wider until their jaws were practically unhinged. They were no longer the pretty maidens as of late but ugly creatures that crawled their way across the boulder towards the thing that dared encroach on their territory. A face off between the creatures of the dark.Meanwhile everyone scrambled out of the water, the guys making a grab for their clothes before they all disappeared back into the dark thicket.

* * *

"WHAT the _bloody_ HELL was that!" Sirius demanded as he and James dressed themselves hastily. They had stopped running once they had reached another small clearing, this one thankfully empty.Rosie shrugged. "That huge thing just came right out of the ground.""Not that! Those two..." Sirius flapped his hand and opened his mouth wide to indicate what he had meant. "_Things_!"Rosie chuckled. "Oh those, they were Sirens.""Yeah, we gathered that much at the pool." James muttered inspecting the scratch marks and showing them to Lily. "They hurt.""You deserve it." Lily informed him but she did note that his wounds from Remus were open and starting to bleed again. James pouted but gave up quickly and buttoned his shirt back up."Sirens are creatures that lure their prey: men to their pools. They kind of morph into the prey's fantasy women. Contrary to common belief they don't use their voices but the water that they eject from their mouths. That stuff is pretty powerful, laced with charms and spells to reel the men in.""Argh! We were sitting in spit?!" Sirius gave his bare arm a sniff disgusted at the revelation.Rosie gave a grin that was better known on Sirius. "I can also tell you that it don't matter where they eject the water from."James shook his head as the girls dissolved into laughter in spite of not being too pleased at having fallen in the water themselves. "You did not need to tell me that." Lily laughed until tears formed in her eyes despite herself until she looked down at her hand. She had been holding it all this time and now that she had time to see it she was horrified to even be touching it. A _hand_, she was holding a _mummified hand!_ It was skeletal, held together by dried leathery skin that froze it into the shape of claw. Each of the five fingers wore a circlet covered with runes and markings she did not recognize. Disgusted she flung it behind her and instinctively wiped her hand on James. He looked at her with a raised brow but she stared back at him as if wiping dirt on him was the most natural thing in the world. Yoanna looked away not wanting to be caught staring, she was too far to see what Lily had tossed away maybe she could have a closer look when everyone wasn't looking...Disgruntled at having been told he had been wallowing in spit Sirius pulled out his wand and turned it into a compass just like Lily had done earlier. Unlike Lily, he and James were used to being lost."We go that way. I need to wash and quick" he said and wiped a sleeve across his mouth in memory of the Siren. That was something he wouldn't forget about too soon. The small group headed in the direction they pointed in. Much to James' delight, Yoanna's relief and Rosie's discomfort they held onto each others hands as they made their way to prevent anyone from getting lost in the darkness. Sirius led the way with his lit up wand followed by the girls and James brought up the rear.An hour passed; maybe two and they arrived at another clearing where they decided to take a rest."Wait! Isn't his where we started off?" James swore that that was the same log he almost tripped over earlier. Bewildered and confused everyone began to look around before they confirmed that it was indeed the very same clearing. Sirius swore, his mood getting worse by the minute as did Rosie's. They were beginning to grate at each other's nerves and had started to bicker."Brilliant sense of direction you have!" she said to him not daring to raise her voice any louder."The wand points north! We were going in the right direction!" he said defensively."I'm amazed! We were going in the right direction and like magic; we're back here! Right where we started!"Lily slapped a hand to her forehead. "Of course! Magic! There's some strange warped magic in this forest! There has to be with so many magical creatures running rampant in here! We were heading in the right direction somehow north keep redirecting...""Bloody brilliant." Sirius flopped down on to the dirt.

Yoanna fidgeted with her hair. "Urm...guys, is it okay if someone comes with me? I...I really need the loo."

"I will." Lily volunteered, needing to go herself.

"Don't go too far." James called after them.

He stood and watched them disappear among the trees before he went off in the opposite direction. "Be right back, mate. Need a leak too." He called to Sirius. "Watch out for women in Hot Springs!"

Rosie snickered but silenced when Sirius glared at her.

* * *

Lily and Yoanna parted and a few minutes later when Lily returned to where they had agreed to meet Yoanna was already standing there. "That was quick." Lily said hooking her arm through hers and started of back to the clearing but Yoanna refused to budge. "What wrong, Yoanna?"

Yoanna stared unblinkingly at Lily then her hands darted to her throat. Lily choked as Yoanna squeeze her trachea, her vision graying as she fell backwards but still the iron grip would not release its hold. All arms and legs Lily thrashed about until she managed to land a solid kick on Yoanna's stomach. The grip lessened and Lily tore herself away gasping for breath. She was on her feet in an instant and running back towards the clearing.

"Lily!" Yoanna cried. Lily ignored it but almost instantly Yoanna shouted her name again from a completely different direction. Lily spun around, unless her ears were playing tricks on her, how can Yoanna call to her from two different places? What she saw convinced Lily that her eyes were also playing tricks on her. There were two Yoannas on coming to her from her left and the other her right. Both of them looked petrified.

"There's two of me!" One cried.

"Who are you?" the other demanded.

"Why are you me?" they both said in unison and pulled out identical wands.

Caught in the middle Lily panicked. There were two of them, which was real? One of them had tried to kill her but she couldn't leave the real one...They are _Mimicks!_ Creatures that dwelled in forests and fed on travelers. They would take the shape of fellow travel companions to gain trust and wham, dinner was served! Lily knew this because she had answered a question on this in her Defense Against Dark Arts OWLs!

"Ah...Yoanna! Tell me urm..." Lily hunted around for a piece of information only Yoanna would know and not the Mimick, unfortunately, Lily didn't know Yoanna very well so she didn't really know the answer to most of the questions she could ask anyway. "What happened in Divination yesterday?"

Both Yoannas looked confused. "Just answer me!"

"We didn't have Divination yesterday." The one on her left said uncertainly.

"That's right!" Lily cried happily. The Mimick turned and ran; its cover was blown. "We have got to get back!" Lily grabbed Yoanna's hand but before they could make it back she saw the Mimick again, this time in its original form. It looked much a like a human except it appeared sexless and featureless in every way. Right now it was changing its shape, growing taller and broader. Dark messy hair sprouted and within seconds James stood in its place. "No!" It ducked out of sight.

Lily dragged the stunned Yoanna back to the clearing. "That's NOT James!" she screamed as she launched herself onto him. He had his wand out, he might not be James but the disguise was complete and he would have James' full ability as a wizard.

"Evans!" Sirius yelled as she attempted to throttle the fake James while clinging onto his back. He tried to dislodge her fingers but luckily did not attempt to throw her off but nonetheless she clamped her legs around his torso and struggled to make the Mimick reveal itself. "OI Evans!" Sirius bellowed as he peeled Lily off James.

James collapsed onto the floor gasping for air like a dying fish. Lily, still hurting from almost being strangled attempted to have another go at him. "That's not James! It's a Mimick!" She shouted wondering why no one else seemed to understand.

"She's right. There was a Mimick and it pretended to be me and then we saw it change into James." Yoanna explained quickly.

Sirius had his wand out in an instant. "What position do you play in Quidditch?" he demanded.

"Ch...ch...chaser..." James wheezed. Lily didn't look too convinced; she has seen him change with her very own eyes! Seeing this Sirius continued.

"How many bombs did we chuck in the 'nest'?"

James shook his head to indicate he couldn't remember and this wasn't received well by the others.

"Keep asking him questions then." Rosie urged unaware that the 'nest' meant her common room.

"How many bottle caps has Wormtail got in his collection?"

Again James shook his head. Everyone tensed. Sirius was running out of questions, it was much harder than he thought but then he saw Lily.

"Who do you most want to date?"

"Lily."

"Who do you most want to kiss?"

A pause. "Lily." "Who do you most want to sha- ouch!" Lily had thrown a pebble at his head and was already armed with a rock the size of her fist. Rubbing his head Sirius returned to the interrogation.

"All right then, how many times has Lily slapped you." James having recovered from being strangled rubbed his sore neck thoughtfully.

"Three." Lily did a quick bit of mental math and determined that the answer was correct.

"How many-"

"That's enough, Black. He's Potter." Lily stepped forward and knelt beside James.

* * *

**A/N:** Wow, longest chapter yet, it isn't quite finished so I decided to chop it in half! I quite enjoyed writing this chapter although I had to force a lot in it. I hope I haven't made it seem rushed, if I have do let me know and I'll take it back down and work on it some more!  
  
The next chapter is, yupz you've guessed it! "_Creatures of the Dark 2_"! xXx


	12. Creatures Of The Dark Part Two

**A/N:** Damn! Broke my speedy update pattern! Got a bit carried away this weekend so dealing with a tender head and dehydration!! Hope this chapter still comes out coherent.  
  
**TO:** embermarieclaire, I rekon I look forward to your reviews as much as you do my chapters! Pumps my ego and makes me feel good!

**TO:** Cecilia Orechio, oooo yea, Mr. Bad-And-Ugly is gonna be back!

To all you other guys that review every one of my chapters, you guys are great too! I have readers that like my ideas!! Wicked! I'm also surprised, not to mention very happy how you lot seem to pick up on every detail I stick in the story!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the main guy so don't sue me!

* * *

Sirius motioned for everyone to gather closer.

"No one is to leave anywhere alone." He said gravely his eyes falling on each person around the rough semi circle they had formed. Yoanna looked terrified her hand tugging at a lock of hair. Lily was bent over James looking apologetic as she inspected the red marks on his neck. For once James was not completely absorbed by her presence and was looking back at Sirius steadily, his expression deadly serious. Rosie returned his look with a glare.

"I don't think we'd get anywhere even if we tried, alone or with someone." She said deliberately referring back to their failed attempt to leave the forest. Sirius ignored her comment and conjured a small campfire made from dancing blue flames. "What are you _doing_?" Rosie cried and put out the glow with a wave of her wand.

"What does it _look _like? I don't know about you but I'm _cold_." Sirius slapped his forehead in mock shock at his callousness. "Oh right, I forgot snakes were cold blooded. I'm _sorry_." He finished with his most un-sorry tone ever. With a faint puff the blue fire was back this time larger. Rosie bristled but did not put out the fire again.

"You draw evil to us like a moth to a flame." She said not bothering to hide the darker tone in her voice. Lily was instantly reminded of the forbidding warning she had given her about being watched and shivered.

"You cold?" James asked. Lily shook her head; if anything she was more uncomfortable than cold in her drying clothes.

Sirius shrugged nonchalantly and drew closer to the fire, the light danced over his chiseled features making him seem darker than her warning. "Then, my _dear_, like a moth the evil will get its ass burnt." He had his wand out again and five fork picks appeared along with a large bag of marshmallows. "Besides, ever heard of the phrase: 'light wards off evil'?" To the others he added happily "Eat up fellow scouts, can't think on an empty stomach can we?"

Not long after, their moods had improved considerably and with a bit of coaxing even Rosie had a few hot and gooey marshmallows. Upon hearing Lily call Rosie's name however, Sirius choked on a marshmallow and exclaimed. "You don't look like a 'Rosie' to me."

"That's because I'm not. I'm _Rose_ Amiral." Rosie replied darkly, a bad mood beginning to storm.

Sirius nodded thoughtfully. "I thought as much." The exchange was lost upon Lily and Yoanna and James gave Sirius a warning glare before interrupting by offering the bag around.

"So what are we going to do?" Yoanna asked tentatively.

"Camp songs!" Sirius cheered but quietened down when they all glared at him.

"I guess there's nothing to it guys, we're going to have to send flares up and hope someone can see it." Lily sighed. With so many of them having broken so many rules they were going to lose a lot of house points but there was nothing to be done. Everyone looked at each other. The solution sucked but there was nothing else they could do.

"I'm not sure it would get past the tree tops." Yoanna observed as she looked up into the treetops.

"No problem, I'll climb." James stood up and brushed himself off.

Yoanna also stood up. "I'll climb too." She'd grown up in the countryside and had spent much of her childhood climbing trees. At the thought of her childhood her heart clenched but she quickly dismissed it. Now was not the time to think about that.

James scaled a tree easily whilst Yoanna took her time carefully selecting comfortable footholes. Once high enough James balanced himself on a thick branch giving him a good view the clearing and slightly more view into the deep growth surrounding them. It was hard to make out anything in the dim light but slowly his eyes adjusted. He didn't have a watch on him but he guessed that dawn must be close. They had been in the forest for a good few hours now it just had to get lighter soon although he doubted it would make much difference even when they could see their predicament.

A movement to his left caught his eye. James peered into the thick blanket of leaves and caught a flash of something white. Through another gap he could see that it was a man! But another second of watching told him otherwise, for this man had four legs. A _centaur_. James had never seen one of those before and with a swish of a tail he was gone. Centaurs were very elusive creatures and James wondered his luck at having seen one on such an unlucky night; perhaps he should ask Lily out again. He shook his head firmly. The Sirens had been enough of an embarrassment without increasing the tally on how many times Lily had slapped him in the same night.

He aimed his wand through one of the larger breaches among the canopy and shot off a spurt of red sparks that exploded once it had cleared the tree. It rained a shower of red over the momentarily lit up sky. In the same instant something skittled up the tree trunk in front of him. Upon first glance it was deep green with long vine-like stems that wrapped and twisted around each other to form a mini humanoid figure complete with a head full of leaves. It was clearly a plant yet highly mobile.

"Oh Shit!" he cried out recognizing the dangerous plant. It was a Porptule. An extremely hostile plant that spends most of its living cycle hiding in treetops and living off tree sap. Unfortunately it was classed as hostile because when it felt threatened by anything (which was most of the time) it would squirt out a dollop of extremely thick sticky substance much like glue at the cause of threat. In the dark and hasty climb James had missed the warning of masses of dried yellow patches dotted on the tree.

With a strange _porp _noise and a force that knocked James off the branch, he face was covered with the warm goo and he was falling.

"_Leviosa_!" Lily screamed as she saw James fall. It was a simple spell derived from the levitation spell and it would have broken his fall had she her wand. Instead its effects only amounted to a slight hiccup in his descent and he landed heavily at her feet. "James!"

Behind them Sirius was quickly signaling for Yoanna to return to the ground as he was attacked by healthy splatter of yellow glue. With a quick flick of the wrist he deflected the majority it of only to hear a scream in the direction of deflection. Rosie was clutching her face, rapidly trying to wipe it goo away. Sirius went running to her, pulling her hands away from her face. He had no idea how long it took for the stuff to set but one thing possibly worse than having it in your face is having it stick your hands to your face.

"_Scourgify_!" Soap suds foamed all over her face immediately and he fought against her desperately scrabbling hands to wipe away the glue and soap, still the spell did little more than add more mess. "Damn! Damn! _Damn it_!" he swore at the little progress he made.

Likewise Lily was wiping away the glue as best as she could but the glue was setting and the damage was done. "I can't open my eyes!" James discovered that true to its properties, the stuff had glued his eyes firmly shut. "Don't worry about it, Lily, it's not going to come off." He said finally pulling her hand away from his face. All at once he was suddenly more aware of the sounds in the immediate surroundings. He could hear a series of _porps_ as the Porptules sent their projectile body fluid at them and hearing them splatter away from them. Someone must be deflecting them away. He could also hear Sirius swearing and Rosie wailing.

All at once it stopped. "I think they've given up." Yoanna said, eyes alert and wand prepared. She hadn't let a second spurt of glue hit them since she had reached the ground.

"Let go of me, you idiot!" Rosie shouted in frustration but Sirius still held onto her hands. Likewise her eyes were also glued shut.

"I'm _bloody _trying to!" He managed to rip his wand hand away from her wrist and they both winced as a layer of skin came off. "_Bloody hell_!" he stared at his raw hand. The glue had set fast and he was not about to risk losing the skin on his other hand as well.

"Oh no!" Lily tried to pull her hand out of James but it had stuck fast. Rosie continued to swear but did not attempt to rip her already swore hand away from her chin or the other from Sirius' other hand.

"Guys!" Yoanna alerted them as two figures stepped into the clearing.

* * *

**A/N:** A semi cliffhanger there! I hope you enjoyed this chapter because I certainly did!


	13. Bed Rest And Bent West

**A/N:** Thank you for your lovely reviews, they keep me going!   
  
This is the new Revised Version of the chapter as previously I had accidentally deleted a chapter so I've popped the missing section here! Sorry if I've confused anyone!

* * *

"Oh _please_!" Sirius sneered. "Do you really think that we're going to fall for that when Lily and I are sitting right here?"  
  
The two Mimicks stepped into the glow of the fire. Perfect copies of Sirius and Lily looked down at the sad group of glued and dirtied teenagers.   
  
"Oi! Prongs! Are you seeing this? They think we're real stupid!"  
  
"Actually, no I can't." James replied evenly facing what he thought was Sirius but was in fact a tree stump. Sirius was actually crouching next to Rosie a little further away from the stump.  
  
"Oh, right. Sorry mate." He turned back to the Mimicks. "What a bunch of opportunistic bastards!" The Mimicks probably felt insulted because they pulled wands and advanced on them.  
  
Lily gasped. "_Cheats_! I don't even have a wand and she has a wand!" she would have pointed at her copy were her hands not glued to James'.  
  
"_Immobulus_!" Yoanna flicked her wand and the Sirius Mimick dropped to the floor. Seeing that they weren't as helpless as they'd appeared the other Mimick turned to flee leaving her partner behind.  
  
"Hey! We're not done with you yet!"  
  
Rosie gave him a shove and he fell onto his butt. "Will you shut up!"  
  
"Don't let it get away!" James ordered.  
  
Yoanna reacted immediately and cast a _Locomotor Mortis_ spell onto the Mimick, it landed with a thud, its legs bound tight.  
  
"Say _hello_ to our Guide." James grinned in despite of himself.

* * *

The group made their way awkwardly. Yoanna was in lead with her wand trained onto the submissive Mimick. James and Lily came next and Sirius and Rosie brought up the rear bickering all the way.  
  
"Will you watch it!" Rosie hissed at Sirius after she tripped over a root for what seemed like the hundredth time. "You'd think that you were the one who couldn't see!"  
  
"Have you got some kinda of hate quota to fill or something?" Sirius replied tersely and heaved Rosie back into her feet with his free hand.  
  
"No, I've just got issues with you!"  
  
"Bloody brilliant!"   
  
Lily hid a smile and returned her attention back to helping James along. In front of her she could see the back of a red head. Every now and again the Mimick would turn around and look at her in the most peculiar manner. As if she didn't feel rough enough as it was! She had a living counterpart of a mirror to remind her that she also looked it all the way.  
  
"Can't you change into someone else?" she asked disconcerted as it looked at her again. The Mimick did noy look at her again although it continued to lead them through the forest as Lily.  
  
"I trust you all have reasonable excuses to be out of bed and in the Forbidden Forest." Everyone froze and stared unbelievingly at McGonagall, they had reached the edge of the forest!

"I thought not." The collective shock of the sad bunch must have been provoked some sort of sympathy from her because the corners of her mouth softened ever so slightly and she motioned for them to follow her.

* * *

Madame Pomfrey had quite a job cleaning them up and it wasn't made any easier with the constant flow of chatter between her patients. The continual stream of visitors was not making her task any easier. She had already thrown Remus and Peter out several times but they always managed to sneak in again once her back was turned.  
  
"It could have been worse...three hundred points isn't that bad..." James tried convincingly but gave up because three hundred points were a heck of a lot of points. "We'll make up for it by winning the Quidditch cup." He determined.  
  
"Sirens? I can't believe I missed the Sirens!" Peter wailed still unable to get over the fact that he didn't get to meet one. He was leaning with his elbows propped up on James' bed where James and Sirius sat propped up. James still had his eyes bandaged and Sirius was technically not hurt but he kept insisting there were hidden pains just so he could stay for a while longer. Remus was on a chair beside the bed. Lily, Yoanna and Cerise were also sitting comfortably on the next bed that the boys had pushed closer so they could join in on the semi reenactment. Madam Pomfrey would pull out her hair later when she found out that they had rearranged nearly all the furniture in her small ward but for now they were safe because she was on her lunch break.  
  
"We finished that conversation five minutes ago, Wormtail. Next time I'll make sure I send you an invite." Sirius unconsciously wiped at his mouth again.  
  
Yoanna laughed. "Like Lily said: you guys deserve it." She laughed again as Sirius gave her a mock look of grief. She had become surprisingly chatty and loud after their return to the school. Yoanna let out a huge sneeze before she could stop herself. "Excuse me!" she sniffed and wiped her nose. Since they had gathered she hadn't been able to stop her sneezing. "I think I must be allergic to something." She explained to them. "Do you have a pet? Maybe a cat or a dog with long hair?" she asked Remus because he was sitting nearest to her.  
  
Remus blushed and shook his head. The other Marauders and Lily burst into laughter which Remus smiled sheepishly at.  
  
"Yeah, but Rosie said that there was some strong stuff in their spells. And us boys being mere mortals, how can we not fall in the trap?" Sirius said drawing attention away from the hairy subject. "Talking about her, where did she go?" Apart from the group the ward was completely empty. Nobody had a clue.  
  
"So what's been happening during our absence my dear old Moony? Anything interesting while we've been having fun with the live counterparts of every beast and plant we've learnt about in our lessons?" The Forbidden Forest was truly magical in every sense from its bestiary to botanical content. The group was also shocked to learn that they hadn't been in there for hours but for just under two days! It had an entirely different continuum altogether.  
  
Remus nodded. "There is something rather interesting."  
  
"Oh?" James raised his eyebrow.  
  
"We have a new student in our House." Now this was new news. It was very rare for students to transfer to a different school even in the early years and it was almost unheard of for one to join in the last year. "There's more. He's a Squib."  
  
"Kind of defeats the purpose coming to a School of Magic doesn't it?" Yoanna scratched her head.  
  
"Must be more to it." Lily agreed.  
  
"Sure is. He's pureblood. His parents are some bigwig wizards. And rumor has it that the only reason he's here is because he needs _protection."_ Peter nodded as Remus explained.  
  
"The Dark Lord?" James ventured.  
  
"That's right. You-Know-Who." Remus nodded. "He's got some sort of amulet embedded in him. Quite gross really, I saw it when he was showing it off to some girls." He made a face at the memory of the green jagged jewel lodged just under the skin. He tried his best to describe it but nobody could imagine what it looked like.  
  
"How many times have I told you?" Madam Pomfrey screeched from the doorway surprising them all. She was an amazing when it came to healing and one of the nicest and most loving members of staff yet she was also one of the most dangerous and none dared to cross her path if she were in a bad mood. Everyone was moving at once, Remus, Cerise and Peter got up hastily and began to back out whilst Lily and James tucked themselves back in bed. "You, young Mr. Black. It's about time you went back to classes." She neatly hooked a finger around his collar and began to tug him towards the main door.  
  
A pained expression filled Sirius' face. "But I'm feeling shaky still-"  
  
The doors of the Infirmary flung open and guy with long sandy hair limped in, his arms circled around his stomach as he doubled over in pain. "Ma-Madam Pomfrey!" he called weakly. Madam Pomfrey's nurse instincts kicked in straight away and she released Sirius and went straight to him.  
  
"That's him." Peter mouthed to James and Sirius. None of the group moved as the guy was led onto an empty bed.   
  
"It's hurting!"  
  
"Aw, poor you. Here, just lean back while I go get some herbs. It will ease your pain." Madam Pomfrey hushed before running off.  
  
"Is he all right?" Yoanna tried to peer over.  
  
"Hel-lo!" the sandy haired boy sat up, propped up by an elbow. "Actually, I'm fine but I was feeling a tad stifled with all the attention." He tossed his head back to clear the hair that had fallen in his eyes and pointed beyond the doors of the Infirmary where they could hear a faint chatter of girls. "I'm Brent Weston." He introduced with a very white grin.  
  
"That wasn't very nice you know." Lily said ignoring his self- introduction. "Madam Pomfrey doesn't deserved to be lied to, she genuinely does care for students."  
  
"I'm sure she does, especially for the one who'd been _chosen_." He said offhandedly while giving her a once over look and then moved onto Yoanna and then Cerise. James could tell that this guy wasn't going to end up as his best mate.  
  
"Chosen?"  
  
"Yes, _Chosen_. _Chosen_ to carry the Amulet." He said marveling at his own importance. To show them what he meant he untucked his shirt and exposed his stomach to them. As one they all flinched at the abnormal glow of something green just below the surface of the skin above his belly button.  
  
"What's going on?" James reached up to undo his eye bandages hoping he could see but Lily reached over and slapped his hand away.  
  
"Well, as much as I would love to stay ladies...& gentleman, but I think the people may have cleared off now and I really must get going." He gave them a casual wave and slid off the bed and was gone.  
  
"Absolutely _spiffing_ he was wasn't he?" James said copying his accent and demeanor. James had grown up in a well off upper class family and those brief words with Brent had made even he feel extremely unrefined. "That guy hasn't got a clue." Lily's mouth twitched like she was about to smile and she was glad that he couldn't see her responding to his imitation.   
  
"What's his name again? _Bent West_?" Sirius cracked a grin.

* * *

**A/N:** Not much happens in this chapter I know but there is a new character and I'm sure he'll prove to be interesting. And just in case it seems like I'm jumping all over the place adding random bits to the story...I am! But rest assured it does all tie up...eventually. Would it be blackmail to say that if you review more then I'll write more??? Hehe! Nah, I'm just kidding, being silly and looking for a blame for my writer's block. xXx  
  
Next chapter will have a bit of temper in it I think; high time James did something to earn a little of Lily's favor! 


	14. Lost My Rag

**A/N:** Note about fluff and future fluff. Yes, I know I've been dancing around the subject a lot but as I said before, I'm no good at writing romance so (admittedly) a lot of the would-be fluffiness will be drawn from my own experience. Past BFs, crushes, whatever, it's gonna go in. Of course most of it sickens me now but at the time it had me go all gooey and it had worked! I hope it works for you guys or if not, it would give you a laugh at the stupid things I fell for!

Ahem, one more thing. "Lost My Rag" isn't innuendo at least I didn't intend it to be. I think my proof reader is just being perverted in thinking it is but just in case...

Last thing, I promise! The reason I didn't mention the Head Boy/Girl thing was because I assumed that everyone knew that James and Lily were Heads. That's one of the reasons why Lily felt obliged to stop the arguement in "Red Temper". Sorry to those who thought I'd left it out!  
  
**TO:** Cecilia Orechio, Brent does seem like Lockhart doesn't he? At first I was going to make him a charming guy so that he becomes a threat to Jamesas well as moving the story forward, but then I discovered it was more enjoyable writing about a complete prat than a goodie goodie! Still, I think even Lockhart held some sort of charm if not to Harry and his friends but Brent here is blatantly two faced and generally an idiot in all directions.

I also made that plant up. Just wanted to make life a bit more difficult for them and plus, I like the word "goo" so it had to be in the story somewhere. Hehe!

As for Rosie, she'll be back because she has quite a major role to play...oops! Did I just say that?  
  
Having said that here comes the **DISCLAIMER:** Don't sue me. I don't own anything except the plot of this story and own characters. I'm 'borrowing' the imaginative ideas and warping them to my liking.

* * *

True to its words, the Dream Book had been right and her subconscious mind seemed satisfied with Lily's encounter in the Forbidden Forest. At last Lily was able to sleep fitfully. 

Weeks passed in peace. Lily did not mention anything about the strange grave or any detail that involved her sleepwalking, not even to McGonagall who questioned them repeatedly. Rosie kept respectfully silent when it came to that matter and in return she effectively earned Lily's respect and friendship even if she hadn't set out to.

As far as the story went Lily was sleepwalking and the others followed her into the Forbidden Forest and the rest happened as it did except for the stumble in the grave. Even after a few weeks the story that had initially spread like wildfire among the students was still rampant, new with additional details every day and before long it seemed to involve them fighting three headed dogs, Giants and an initiation among the Centaurs.

For the first time in her life Lily knew what it was like to be a Marauder. Wherever she went there were stares of admiration and awe as if every student was expecting her to suddenly turn around and do something amazing. At first she hadn't received her new found fame very well but soon she grew accustomed to it and learnt to enjoy the finer points of being highly popular. At the same time it seemed natural that Yoanna and Lily should be found with the Marauders. Cerise was highly amused by all this and commented that "Almost dying together could be very bonding" one day while Lily was complaining about being grouped with the mischievous boys. Completing Head Boy and Girl duties also became easier now that Lily found that she could talk to James without wanting to hex him into next week.

Rosie remained the only member of their adventure to continually keep a distance and was rarely seen. She had an art of disappearing whenever Lily or any of the others spotted her.

* * *

James' generally good mood that had lasted for weeks finally evaporated one cold November morning. Tattlaevore, his Great Barn Owl had dropped a piece of parchment in his lap that morning and had flown off, insulted that her Master had once again called her "Tatty" for short.  
  
_Dearest Jamie,  
I hope this reaches you before that damn article does. I'm afraid that your father is to undergo a hearing at the Ministry of Magic. They want to charge him for rumor stirring among the community. I can't believe that even now they refuse to do something. You-Know-Who is like a fox in a chicken pen and still they prefer to sit on their hands!  
Don't worry dear, I know your Father will be fine and I've owled Professor Dumbledore as well Aberforth and I'm sure they will stop them from pressing charges.  
Love, Mum._  
  
James sat back, the last traces of his good mood dissolving. His mother was obviously upset and probably feeling lost without his father and he was _stuck here_ at school unable to help. Pulling out a quill he quickly wrote a few lines back to his mother providing support and reconfirmation that his father would be fine. He whistled sharply and Tatty came flying back giving him an affectionate nip before flying off with his reply. James chewed on a bit of toast and resolved not to read the_ 'damn article'_ but with a second thought he pulled a copy of the Daily Prophet to him and scanned the front few pages. By the time he had finished he was enraged that the writer dared to scandalize his family name.

Picking up a pile of his books James headed back for his room. It was Saturday and he had intended on catching up with his increasing workload so he could spend Sunday practicing Quidditch. That idea was clearly out of the window now that he was distracted.

He made his way down the corridor not quite watching where he was going until he bumped into someone. His dropped his wand and muttered an apology as lent over to pick it off the floor. He straightened up to find Brent giving him one of his usual I'm- good-and-I-know-it looks. James silently cursed his bad luck for running into him. At the best of times this guy was overly sickly with his snobbish attitude but most of the time he was simply irritating. He had learnt to avoid him like the plague but found it increasingly hard, as the guy seemed to be popping up wherever they went. In some ways he was worse than Snape, at least Snape had a legitimate reason for stalking them even if it was to get them in trouble.

"Hel-lo." He chirped brightly and flashed a smile to a pair of passing girls before returning his attention back to James. "Just thought it would be courtesy to let you know that I plan on asking dear Lily out. The whole protective thing you do to her is cute and all..." he hesitated under James' hot glare. "And I do admire it..." he trailed off again. "Look, I know the deal and I'm sure you've tried asking her out and she's said no right? No hard feelings, mate." James didn't know whether to admire the guy's frankness or be angry at his audacity. In the end he settled on the latter. James was _livid._ How dare he tread on sensitive not to mention _sacred _ground! Unable to say anything straight away in his anger James pointed his finger with an open mouth, it just happened to be the same hand that held his fallen wand although he had absolutely no intention on using it at all. He was far beyond the rational ability to think of any spell. Unfortunately, Lily happened to turn the corner just in time to see him point. "_Expelliarmus_!" His wand flew out of his hand and landed at Brent's feet. Lily was mortified that James would raise his wand to someone who couldn't even defend himself against magic. 

"James! What are you doing?" she marched up to stand in front of him with her hands planted on her hips. He didn't reply but could still feel his anger and upset boiling under the surface. "He's a _Squib_! How could you raise a wand to him?" she demanded. He was Head Boy and was supposed to set an example for the younger years. Maybe he hadn't grown out of his trigger-happy wand hexing days after all.

Brent cleared his throat. "Well, actually I prefer the term 'Muggle-that-knows-about magic'.'Squib' shounds a tad weird to me." Lily shot him a look that told him to shut up but he ignored it and pointed at James. "And you, she's right! You should be careful of where you point that thing!" It was as if Lily could see something in James snap and she grabbed him before he could even lunge at Brent. "What is _wrong _with you?" "_He's_ what's wrong with me!" James said too angry to even raise his voice. He knew much of it had stemmed from an already bad mood but it seemed like a very good idea to use the opportunity to vent some of it off. "I'm sick of tired of his shitty comments! _And what is this_? All this special treatment because he has some rock in his gut?" Lily was quite taken aback upon hearing James swear in front of her, it was something he hadn't done before. Surprised at the effect it had on herself Lily fell back to her anti-sympathy-for- James and general anti- James behavior that she had worked hard to build up against him in the past few years. True it had been put aside for the past few weeks but now it came back naturally. "You probably deserved it!" she snapped back. As soon as the words left her mouth she knew that she had made a mistake and had made the situation worse. James looked down at her disbelief clouding his eyes. "I don't understand it! Every time something happens to me it's because I deserve it! Bloody fantastic!" He still refused to raise his voice and with one last lingering look of incredulity he turned and left at a brisk pace leaving a stunned Lily. Brent picked up the fallen wand. "Hey, you left your stick!" he called but James didn't hear him and continued to stomp off. Unsettled and upset Lily snatched the wand out of his hand and stared at it willing it to undo everything that had just happened but then a thought occurred to her. "Which end was he pointing at you?" 

Brent looked at it with disinterest. "The pointing end I suppose."

"Which end?" Lily held it out for him to show her.

"This one, I guess." Brent pointed at the broader end that was not customarily used to point with when doing magic. James wouldn't and couldn't hex with this end of the wand and Brent was enough of a Squib to not know that. Lily dropped her head onto a hand with a groan. _What had she just done_?

* * *

If James thought his mood was bad earlier it was now positively foul as he stormed into his room and tossed his pile of books onto his bed. Sirius sat up closing a Quidditch book he had propped up. "What's up, Prongs?" he was aware that James looked like he might explode any second but if he left him he knew the mood could only get worse. "Lily Evans!" James snapped. "Ah," Sirius should have known; there were few things in this world that managed to work his friend up in such a state and she was one of the few. "If I so much as look at her again, break my arm! No my leg! That will teach me a thing or two! And _that_ I _deserve_!" he glanced at his limbs deciding which would be temporarily expendable. "What happened, mate?" James gave him a quick fill in that made Sirius laugh. "'Rock in the gut'? Couldn't have put it better myself!" he chuckled. "But still, I don't see how that managed to get you to lose your rag." Instantly James fell back to the initial cause of his bad mood and he tossed Sirius a copy of the paper he had clamped in his books. Sirius read the paper in silence and swore becoming equally as angry as James. James' parents had taken him in when he had nowhere to go and had treated him like a second son. They were good people fighting to protect people and this was their reward. 

"Dumbledore will be on his way. You dad will be fine." He said after he was done with cursing every member he could think of in the Ministry of Magic.

"Yeah." James hung his head dejectedly. "I'm gonna go for a walk or something. Need to get some air into my head before I pop a vessel." He stood up and headed for the door. "Getting old already?" Sirius hunched over and pretended to shrivel up his face and act like he was a toothless aged James.

"Not a chance. Watch it dog boy or I'll take you to the vet." James threw back lightly before closing the door behind him.

* * *

**A/N:** Call me perverse but I liked writing that chapter! It was good that James finally lost his rag and Lily's realizing that he has certain effect on her. Next chapter is most likely to have some fluff in it by the looks of things, but I'm evil so I don't think it will be an easy fluff. Will see! xXx 


	15. Soft Around The Edges

**A/N:** Must admit that I hit an insecurity issue about my writing because some of my constant reviewers seem to have stopped reviewing!! Must mean that they decided they didn't like my story and gave up. I was well depressed! But then MANY THANKS to Cecilia Orechio and ember marieclaire for sticking by me. You have no idea how much your comments encourage a hesitant writer such as myself and what relief it is when we know that you have enjoyed our writing! Sniffle...wow I'm going soft around the edges too!  
  
**TO:** Marie Claire, I actually started off as a reader too! I have tried writing many stories and most of them kind of died out because they were all a bunch of ideas that I couldn't link up! That's why I thought I should give original fiction a rest and try writing a fanfic, and here it is!

* * *

Lily knocked tentatively before entering cautiously. This was the first time she had ever stepped foot into the Marauders' room although she had stood at the door shouting abuse at them many times for their pranks. Four beds were spread out in the hexagonal room with trunks in front of them. The bed on the left was neat and a pile of quills and books rested on the trunk, next to that was a bed covered with collections of all sorts from buttons to Frog Cards. Beside that one was a messy bed and a half-open trunk and Lily recognized the pair of boxer shorts that peeked out. Sirius occupied the last bed and he gave her a knowing smile. 

"He's gone out for a walk." He said before she opened her mouth.

"Uh...right. Thanks." Lily began to close the door.

"Wait! Here, read this." Sirius jumped off his bed and handed her a newspaper. "It'll explain a thing or two." Lily took the paper and left quickly her cheeks warming for no apparent reason. By the time she was in her room the paper was clenched in her fist and she had a fairly good idea why James had lost his temper. Somehow Brent must have chosen the wrong time to say the wrong thing to him and that had set him off. He hadn't intended to hex him or he would have done so already. James was excellent in Transfiguration and he could have quietly turned Brent into a Possum any day without her knowing let alone doing something about it. Now that she knew this she felt worse than she did before. If only he was around for her to rectify things.

With a hiccup Lily looked at her reflection in the large mirror in horror. When had Lily Evans given a_ damn_ about _James Potter_? Now _that_ was a scary thought and she was about to panic when she remembered that right now, she was in the wrong and that's why she had to apologize. It was the right thing to do, nevertheless she knew with certainty that somewhere along the line she had gone soft around the edges.

* * *

James didn't turn up for lunch or dinner. Lily couldn't help it as her eyes wandered off automatically to the empty seat beside the Marauders. Yoanna was the first to pick up on Lily's quietness.

"Are you okay, Lily?" She asked in a low voice so they wouldn't be heard over the chatter.

Lily sighed. "I think I've upset James." She told her unhappily.

To her surprise Yoanna smiled. "I don't think you could ever do that, Lily. Don't worry."

"But I made him really angry!"

Yoanna looked thoughtful. "I don't think he was angry at you. He adores you too much. Besides, have you seen the paper today?"

Lily nodded to indicate that she had. "Hey! He doesn't adore me! What are you on about?!"

"I'm not blind and don't insult my intelligence." Yoanna grinned and Lily felt like she was fighting a losing battle. Fine, she was entitled to think whatever she wanted, Lily decided.

"Enough about me, are you okay? You're looking a bit...peaky." Lily frowned. Yoanna had dark bags under her eyes and she was a lot paler than usual. Her normally glossy hair hung lank and lifeless.

"Sure I am, just haven't been sleeping to well that's all." Yoanna shrugged and pushed her plate away, apparently not having much of an appetite either. Cerise listened in to their hushed voices with interest but made no comment.

Meanwhile, Sirius had vacated his seat after spotting some potential mischief. Heads followed him with interest as he made his way over to the Slytherin table. He could see Snape tense and took great joy in the discomfort he caused just by walking past him until he stopped behind a girl with chocolate brown hair. Unawares of him she continued to chat until one of her friends tapped her on the arm and pointed. She swiveled in her seat and looked up at him.

"What do you want?" she asked bluntly. Sirius now playing out a well-used card ignored the hopeful glances of the other girls at her table so that he had only eyes for her.

"Hello, Rosie!" Her eyes went wide and she looked almost nervous.

"Don't call me that!"

"Why is that, Rosie?" Sirius replied loudly. He raised a brow and folded his arms easily. "Got an image to keep up?"

Rosie also crossed her arms. "Yes, I do actually." Sirius shooed the girl next to her away so that she shuffled along until there was enough room for him to sit down. He lent his back against the table and rested his elbows on it. "Don't get too comfortable. I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate you bothering me." Sirius looked to the direction she nodded in to see a burly seventeen-year-old. Jacob something or another; Sirius had played against him in Quidditch. Not impressed with the threat Sirius gave him a hearty wave. He believed that things might get interesting.

Back on the Gryffindor table Yoanna nudged Remus. "What is he doing?" Remus looked across and frowned. 

"No doubt taking things up to a fine line."

"I see." Yoanna said and sneezed.

* * *

Later that night Lily was pacing the Common Room. It was approaching midnight and it was almost empty and James still wasn't back yet. Growing more impatient by the minute Lily stepped outside the portrait and began pacing the landing out there instead. The Fat Lady watched her, shaking her head slightly before creeping into the portrait next to hers for a bit of tea and gossip. 

An hour passed and Lily had tired herself out pacing. She sat balanced on the banister with her legs dangling over the edge. The sound of footsteps alerted her and she jumped back down onto the landing just as James approached with his hands in his pockets and head hanging low as if deep in thought.

"Hey." James' head shot up surprised that there was somewhere there. 

"Hey." He returned stopping a few feet in front it of her. Lily found herself twisting and fidgeting under his questioning scrutiny in what she felt was an uncomfortable silence. Knowing that she should apologize was one thing but actually saying the words was a whole different matter.

"I...uh...wanted to give this back to you." She pulled his wand from her pocket and held it out for him.

"Right, okay. Thanks." He took the wand from her out stretched hand and turned towards the portrait. Lily could tell instantly that he was still upset with her. He was polite but his ever so subtle change in mannerism towards her was deliberately distancing.

"I'm sorry!" Lily blurted out. "I really am! I know that you weren't trying to hex Bent!" Lily noticed the slip of her tongue but didn't bother to correct his name. If Sirius could parade around and even call him that in front of his face then she could mispronounce it once in a while. Normally James would have grinned at her and inform her that she was turning more and more like a Marauder each day, but this James just nodded muttering "Thanks." Before going back to the door. Lily was not satisfied that her apology had gotten through.

"James!" She tried again this time reaching out and tugging him back by the wrist. "Are you still mad at me?" she asked earnestly looking up at his lowered head. James was more surprised than anything else. He was not used to having concern coming from Lily and moreover, she had just called him James.

"No, I'm not." He wasn't mad at her at all, well maybe a little earlier on but that had passed quickly. He had completely lost his rag over a minor misunderstanding and if anything he thought that he ought to have apologized for not bothering to explain.

"But you're not okay." Lily stated. He had worry written all over his face. He must be with his father and the Hearing and all. Being scoffed at by the rest of the Wizarding community couldn't be easy either.

"No, I'm fine. Honest!" James pulled his wrist out of her grasp. He was touched by her concern and more than a little taken back by the beauty it emphasized in her. He tore his eyes away from her and he wandered a little way off to lean against the banister. He suddenly felt the need to bang his head on it,_ repeatedly_, before he could do anything stupid. He was doing precisely what he had sworn not to do earlier. He was_ falling_ for Lily Evans. This was not the time for this, there were more important things than his crush to be tended to.

He had gone to speak to Dumbledore hoping that he would give him permission to return home for a few days to look after things while he father was gone. However, his mother knew him back to front and had already sent an owl to Dumbledore well in advance warning him not to let James return. The Headmaster was highly amused by James' surprise and had offered him some pear drops to make up for it before making arrangements for his own absence when he would go to the Hearing. Disappointed James had spent the rest of the day sulking in the kitchens watching the house elves scurry about hard at work. He was no stranger to the kitchens and the house elves loved the Marauders as much as they liked them.

Misreading his actions completely Lily reached out for him again, this time taking his hand.

"James-" What ever she was about to say was lost because a blood- curdling scream cut the quiet air-

* * *

**A/N**: I just couldn't let things go too smoothly, could I? Yes, fluff in chapter but do note that Lily isn't doing it on purpose and isn't too aware of the effects she has on James. James is also trying very hard not to get dragged in with it because the timing is all off. Aww poor James and Lily. I'm trying very hard to show them falling for each other slowly (well, in Lily's case anyway) so it won't be the case that she suddenly looks at James and realizes that she madly in love with him. I also believe Sirius will start something and it may not end up with fluff.

Anyways, enough with the fluff, had enough of fluff. Puff. Onwards with the story.


	16. A Little White Lie

**A/N:** Awww! Thanks guys for your reviews! And Hello to new reviewer!

* * *

James and Lily ran into the Common Room with a sickening feeling deep in their stomachs. Someone sounded like they were being murdered, a painful drawn out death because the person continued to scream. They followed the screaming, Lily slightly ahead of James before leaving his side to run up the girls' stairs. James was left with no choice but to wait at the bottom of the stairs and he could do nothing except keep looking up above and hope that everything would be all right.As soon as that thought crossed his mind the screaming came again, this time louder followed by screeches, grunts and yells. He could see movement just further beyond the top of the stairs but the most of it was out of his view. Doors slammed and he could hear struggling. Lily was talking rapidly to someone, almost having to shout it over the voices of others. She was saying soothing things but the screams continued to wail. Behind him the boys were filing out the boys' dormitories wondering what was going on.Sirius and Remus were the first to reach James. "Bloody murder!" Sirius said rubbing his head but alert and awake. They all looked to the top of the stairs. They could see the girls now but could only watch as they clearly shuffled about trying to restrain another girl who wouldn't stop struggling against them. James could also see Lily now. She was caught up amongst the mess of arms and legs and desperately trying to hold onto the girl now revealed to be Yoanna.Yoanna looked like she was fighting for her life and was doing a very good job at it too."Lily!" James watched in horror as Lily and Yoanna took one step too near the steps and they began to fall. At the same instant James instinctively leapt up the stairs but as soon as his foot touched the first step all of them flattened out making a very wide and very slippery concrete slide. Lily, Yoanna and James slid down to the bottom landing in a heap. Remus and Sirius had tried to break their fall but they fell at such a speed that it took them off their feet too.  
"Yoanna!" Lily pulled herself up to a sitting position and untangled Yoanna from Remus.

The silence from the girl brought about another kind of fear in Lily. "Yoannie?" Lily brushed the girl's hair away from her face. Her fingers were frozen and locked as if she had been trying to claw at something. Her eyes were blank and wide. Catatonic. Lily thought.

James stood up. "Everyone, back off to beds. We need space." He waved his arms making the students back up. Some students protested wanting to know more but James was firm and slowly they slumped off. Cerise lingered in the background with her arms crossed her expression unreadable. By this time Yoanna had recovered somewhat and was whispering in broken sentences.  
"Don't let him. Don't let him get to me. Don't...""Yoannie?" Yoanna was looking at her but she wasn't focusing."E very night...I see him. I _see_!" she gripped Lily's hand. "And he...he! He wants _it _back!""What is going on?" McGonagall demanded. She was dressed in a billowing dressing gown with her cloak hastily thrown over. Her lips pressed into a straight line as soon as she saw Yoanna. Stooping over she placed a warm hand on Yonna's sweaty forehead and after a few seconds she straightened up. "James, Lily. Come with me. We need to get her to Madam Pomfrey. The rest of you boys, back to bed." James nodded and picked up Yoanna up who had fallen silent. And they followed McGonagall out.

James and Lily returned twenty minutes later to find Remus and Sirius waiting for them in the Common Room. There wasn't much more that they could tell them. Madam Pomfrey had given Yoanna a potion to sedate her and send her into a dreamless sleep. The only conclusion the nurse could draw was that Yoanna was having a particularly bad nightmare caused by the stress of losing her foster parents.

* * *

The next day, the Marauders and Lily headed straight for the ward to find Yoanna sitting up in bed. She looked tired and very pale but she nonetheless she smiled widely when they walked in.

"Hi! Are those for me?" Remus nodded and handed her a bunch of yellow flowers that he and Sirius went out to pick for her. Yoanna thought they were very pretty and couldn't help but hold them to her nose. The scent was lovely and fresh but it provoked a sneeze almost immediately.

"Here, give me those." Lily took them and placed them in the empty vase beside her bed. "How are you feeling?"

Yoanna half shrugged. "Okay, I guess." A few awkward moments passed. "I'm sorry if I caused you guys trouble last night. I...don't really remember what happened though." Remus and Sirius nodded. After an unfortunate adventure during their third year they had both ended up in Madam Pomfrey's hands and had tasted the same potion. Not only had it knocked them straight out but it had also erased a good deal of their recent memory and they couldn't quite remember their own names for about a week after. Yoanna seemed to be doing very well but then Sirius did suspect that he and Remus had been given an overdose on purpose to serve as part of their punishment.

"No problem, Yoannie." Lily smiled. "We're just glad that you are okay." Yoanna nodded, grateful that she had them as her friends and sneezed.

"You must have some sort of pet! I know you do!" she accused Remus who stood close by her side. "I know it's not your cologne because Peter sometimes uses the same one and I never slneeze when he's around me and you can't have that much pollen sticking to you."

Remus looked taken aback and started stuttering. "I...urm...I..." Sirius stepped in.

"That's it, you've blown his cover." Everyone turned to look at him. "He does have a pet. But it's..." he lowered his voice to a hush. "It's highly illegal." He finished with a conspiratory wink.

"Right, he does." James confirmed with a convincing smile. Yoanna leaned in happy that she had just been let in such a big secret. "Ooo, what pet is it?" Sirius hesitated. He hadn't expected her to ask that, she really hadn't seemed like the type to want to be involved in trouble and especially something illegal.

"It's a...a big black dog!" James was trying very hard not to laugh as Sirius expression fell and he gave him a pointed look.

"A black dog?" Yoanna was apparently not impressed with the illegal pet.

"Yeah, I'm not supposed to have him because he's, urm, very very big." Remus was rapidly catching on.

Yoanna looked back at him. "Do you think I could see him?" she asked excited once again. Remus pretended to consider it and then nodded. Sirius had gone quiet. His little white lie had completely backfired upon himself. James turned with a grin and even Lily was trying very hard not to laugh at Sirius.

"I rekon I can sneak him in here. Where's Pomfrey?"

"I think she's gone to speak to McGonagall." Yoanna said.

"Brilliant. Sirius, come with me, you and I will go get Remus' pet." James grabbed a handful of Sirius's robes and pulled him towards the door.

"Maybe, the dog doesn't want to come in here!" Sirius said indignantly as he got dragged out. Minutes later a large shaggy dog appeared followed by James. He padded in with his head and tail held high and made a point of ignoring James.

"Aw he's gorgeous!" Yoanna exclaimed and climbed out of bed to pet him. Sirius the dog stood stiffly prepared to endure the humiliation of being petted. But Yoanna stroked him lovingly and the others could see that he was clearly enjoying it. Lily also patted him gingerly, it was the first time she had seen him as a dog up close and unlike Yoanna, she knew who he was. "He's so adorable." Yoanna sneezed but she didn't let go of the shaggy dog. "What's his name?"

"He's called Snuffles!" James said quickly. Remus and Peter almost choked. "Remus was going to call him Fru Fru but decided that it wasn't manly enough."

Yoanna looked over to Remus. "And Snuffles is manly enough?"

"It's better than Fru Fru at least." Snuffles growled at James and snuggled up to Yoanna.

"Snuffles!" Remus warned. "Don't get your drool over Yoanna now." The dog glared at Remus.

* * *

Sirius stomped ahead of them down the corridor. The four Marauders were on their way to the Room of Requirement to work on a new invention.

"Why couldn't you say Wormtail was his pet?" he demanded. Peter stopped laughing immediately and fell quiet. James and Remus were still laughing about the incident earlier.

"Because, Padfoot! Last time I looked having a rat for a pet isn't illegal!"

"How 'bout you then?" he pointed at James.

Remus snickered. "You'd think people would notice if I was hiding a stag."

"Fine! But don't expect Fru Fru to start a petting zoo!"

"It was Snuffles." James cracked up unable to stop laughing. Sirius also grinned.

"Whatever, Prongs."

* * *

**A/N:** I enjoyed writing that end part!


	17. Stinky Suspicions

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay in update! I got a bit too happy over weekend again. Oopsie! EEEEp! Just to say that there is actually a chapter missing "Creatures of the Dark 2" and "Bed Rest and Bent West"!!!! In my stupidity I must have deleted it and I am working on writing it back! I thought I had posted this chapter on Sunday but it turns out that FF doc manager was having problems and it hadn't replaced my a/n. That explaisn why it was taken offline for a while! Sorry about delay!  
  
**TO:** Taiyourshoes, special thanks for reviewing soo much! You deserve and award! I'm well impressed and happy! I'm very glad that you like my story so far and hope that you continue reading and enjoying! Yupz, we do have pennies in England. 100 pennies to a pound. "A knut for your thoughts" was a brilliant idea, it didn't even occur to me to write that!! Hehe!

* * *

The beginning of the week was heralded with a faint but definite and audible _omph_ sound that rang clearly throughout Hogwarts. James and Sirius joined the breakfast table with broad smirks that spelt _guilty_. Not long after their arrival, a misty plume of smoke wafted into the Great Hall with a smell so intense that those with weaker stomachs began to retch."Whew! Stuff is lethal!" Sirius pinched his nose but was unable to hide his glee. Peter snorted trying to laugh and hold his nose at the same time. He ended up choking on himself and Remus quickly handed him some water."A bit heavy handed." He commented not quite sure whether to laugh or scold them for being careless. A small contained prank was one thing but smoking out the rest of the school was quite another."It sure took them a while to say the magic word." After the first few weeks James had thought the bombs they had left in the Slytherin Common Room was a complete failure and had turned out to be duds. Now he knew otherwise and was glad that they had cast a clever camouflage spell on them that even the house elves couldn't see through."I _knew it_. They're all Followers." Sirius continued to hold his nose but he was sure he was beginning to taste the vile stench in his mouth."Followers?" Peter asked.Sirius leaned in and spoke in a low voice. "Of _You-Know-Who_." Peter shrank back like any wizard would have done at the mention of the Dark Lord; it was for his sake that Sirius did not say his name. Peter shivered but felt oddly inspired by the glint in Sirius' eye, it told of a kind of defiant fearlessness that the Black family had instilled in him as a child.  
  
_"Great adversaries are to be respected and not feared."_

Peter had first heard of this phrase during one of the rare occasions when Sirius had talked about his family. It was something his mother had taught him but Sirius termed it a "whole load of crap" and had insisted that nothing had his respect until it was earned. Admittedly even Sirus knew that this wasn't strictly true either and whether he knew it or not Peter thought that he was truly fearless.

"That was a pretty long jump. They set off your bombs and that makes them Followers?" Remus was quite unconvinced.

Still whispering Sirius said, "The trigger word was _Voldemort_. All that was needed is for someone in that room to say that name and all the bombs would go off instantly. There's practically no one that dares to say his name openly anymore and its not something that just pops up in a casual conversation." A few moments passed as Sirius' implications sunk in.

"What so you're trying to say that You-Know-Who has Death Eaters right under Dumbledore's nose?" Remus asked his voice just a little too high. "And you think that they are in Slytherin?" he frowned. "Don't tell me you deliberately set up those bombs to test some sort of idea you've had." He scowled at James who put up his hands.

"Hey, don't look at me, I thought the word was '_Quidditch_'. Wondered why it hadn't gone off yet."

Sirius shook some hair out of his eyes. "I'd call it more like a suspicion rather than an idea."

This was suddenly all new to James. Sirius had a third bird killed with the same stone? "Padfoot, do you know something?"

Sirius shrugged. "Just an odd bit of sentence here and there in my bright old home." He said no more, there was nothing more to be said because they all knew about his family and their fascist views on pure blood values. It was natural for them to be drawn to the supposed ideals of the Dark Lord.

In their intense conversation none of them had noticed Lily entering the hall. She had found a seat that turned out to be far enough from them for her to escape their notice but not far enough for her not to overhear them.

She crossed her arms after arriving just in time to catch the end of their conversation. "That sounds like a lot of codswallop." She said flatly. "You guys are just prejudiced against Slytherin because of Severus."

James' brows furrowed. He had yet to decide on his opinion on Sirius' revelation but he did not think that Lily should dismiss it so surely and since when was she on first name basis with Snivellus? "The fact that they rant on about the importance of pure blood and how it corresponds to You- Know-Who's ideals is a little suspicious don't you think?" he said defensively.

Lily looked at him in what might have been surprise but the look was gone before he could fully register it. "I don't see why you target your pranks on them so often. It's not as if they are any different from any of us or any of the other students in the whole school for that matter."

Just at that moment Rodolphus Lestrange entered the hall followed by his usual trail of friends. They had not escaped the bombs but had decided to make an appearance regardless. Like some sort of bizarre animated character Lestrange and his group each had continuous streaks of mustard yellow gas pouring out their heads. The smell came off them in waves and many students left the hall.

Sirius and James had fallen into a fit of laughter and their open enjoyment at their discomfort was not lost upon the Slytherin group. One or two of them sneered before sitting down at their empty table but Lestrange lifted a corner of his mouth in cold smile and sat down with a stony silence. He was memorizing this moment well, filing it away until the opportunity for him to return the favor was at hand and he wasn't planning on just a simple prank.

James could easily imagine Lestrange as a prime candidate to be a Death Eater and was starting to think Sirius might be onto something.

"Your doing, without a doubt." Lily accused. James was saved from replying because Cerise sidled beside Lily with a message.

"Brent says he'll meet you at the library same time as last time." She said and poured herself some juice. Lily nodded and stood up shouldering her bag.

James turned away his lips clamped shut and busied himself with the Daily Prophet. Lily gave the back of his head one last look before walking off.

* * *

Lily's last lesson of the day finished early and she arrived at the library to find Brent already seated at a table in the far corner away from the prying eyes of the librarian.

"I'm awfully sorry for not being able to tell you about the change of location personally. Professor Flitwick insisted that I spent the day with him so that he could add a few more spells to protect me." Brent let out a dramatic sigh. His tendency to exaggerate each of his actions had taken some getting used to be once Lily learnt to ignore it Brent turned out to be a decent person.

During one evening about a week ago Lily had asked him what he did during lessons while everyone else was learning magic, in response he had shown her his books on Maths, Science and all sorts. Having spent the majority of her teen years dosed in magic Lily had expressed interest in the subjects she would have taken had she continued life as a Muggle. She was delighted when Brent had offered to fill her in on some of the subjects and since that day they had been meeting up after lessons.

"That's okay." Lily swung her bag onto the table and sat down.

"How about some biology today?" Brent pulled out a book with a microscopic photo of a bacterium on the front.

Lily shrugged. She wasn't feeling particularly receptive that day and James had irritated her. _Actually,_ the Marauders had irritated her, she corrected. As Head Girl she should stop them from singling out a whole house for their pranks if not stop them all together. However amusing it was it was not right if it came at the expense of others. James should know that yet he continually goes about as if the world were his playground.

"Lily?" Lily's attention focused on Brent.

"Floating away you were."

"I'm sorry." She picked distractedly at the ends of her hair. "I just can't concentrate today." A green glow caught her eye. "Uh, Brent? Your amulet is glowing." She pointed at his stomach where a strange greenish color illuminated through his shirt.

Brent waved his hand unconcerned. "It does so every now and again."

"What does it do exactly? I mean, what is it?" Brent cleared his throat, which meant a story was coming.

"It's a mystical object." He began, his voice laced with intrigue and excitement. "Highly magical of course. My old man told me himself. Able to pierce veils between black and white. One could say that whoever possesses it is able to _walk in the gray_."

Lily recognized the saying immediately. "You mean between worlds? Is that even possible?"

"Definitely. I believe they do exist."

"Does that mean you can do it?" Lily asked completely intrigued. If he could then there certainly was a need for Brent to be as heavily protected as he is. Brent shifted in his seat.

"Well, not quite. I mean I probably _could if I tried_ but I would also need to get hold of a moon-something or other and have to do something with my hand. My Father mentioned it once but you know all this magic stuff. Unnecessarily complicated and all."

"A moonstone?"

"Something like that." Lily sat back fascinated by the whole idea of being able to "walk in the gray" but it was brought to an abrupt stop when she noticed Brent's expression. It was a kind of heavy lidded almost dreamy look that she had seen before.

"Lily-"

"I just need to return this book." Lily stood up fast and her chair almost toppled over. Grabbing her Dream Book she lost herself among the rows of dusty shelves until she came back to shelf where the book was to be replaced. She slotted it into its allocated space marked by its shape in dust. Beside it was another book by the same author: Jose Weedle. "_Deeper Meanings In Nightmares_". Her own night wanderings had ended but now Yoanna was having bad dreams.

Curious Lily pulled down the heavy book and began to read.

* * *

**A/N:** I know this chapter wasn't very satisfying but a lot of the story had to be set up.  
  
Back to square one for Lily and James. Lily certainly gets stubborn doesn't she? But then it just shows what sort of person she is. She stuck up for Snape in OotP because she felt it was wrong so I guess in these situations she would too!  
  
Another thing was that everyone including me usually associates Slytherin with evil and it took me a lot of self-convincing that that isn't true. Slytherin is just another house with certain attributes; it just so happens that quite a few bad eggs sprung from them. That's why I've made it in the story so that up till then, everyone in school just treats them as another normal house because there's no reason to do so otherwise. Sirius is kind of revolutionary in that matter then because he is one of the first to suspect that there are spies among them! Whoo hoo! Go Sirius!! 


	18. Little Problem Big Problem

**A/N:** I'm glad you guys liked the last chapter! I'm having a blast writing all this! Oh yeah, I've updated my bio and stuck my email address up so if any of you guys have any other comments or wanna shout at me when I'm slow on updates feel free to do so!  
  
**TO:** Missmrprk, I've tried re uploading chapter 17, hopefully it will be okies now!  
  
**TO:** ember marieclaire, Yupz, I live in England! :)

* * *

Lily left without returning to Brent. Her bag was still on the table but that didn't matter now. She had to get to Yoanna. Nothing but explanations would set her racing mind at rest and she hoped with all her heart that she was simply over thinking and stringing too many coincidences together.

Dreams, everything revolved around the _damn _dreams. If the book was right Yoanna's recurring nightmares may not be nightmares at all, but internal struggles of the mind against an _external_ force. Someone was trying to break in! Lily shivered remembering her own dreams well; all the times she had suddenly woken up out of bed and in the middle of danger...leading her to the grave. With another shudder Lily shoved the memory of the mummified hand to the back of her mind. She could still feel the leathery skin stretched over the clawed hand, the runes on each ring on the finger...what importance could it possibly hold?

* * *

James picked at his food absentmindedly. A dull ache was growing to a steady pound in his temples and he was not in the mood to join in with the banter the rest of the students shared over dinner. He was beginning to wonder where the happy James of the old had disappeared to because the former had left nothing but a miserable old git. He'd dragged himself through the lesson that day and hadn't really paid any attention despite the constant warnings about N.E.W.Ts that the teachers sprung at them every now and again...often...every day...every lesson...

He had still yet to hear of the exact date of the Hearing. Sirius had practically dropped a bomb on them and now he couldn't help but wonder whenever a Slytherin passed them. Lily wasn't simplifying matters neither, he had always admired her courage to stand up for what she thought was right but it was _damn right horrible_ when it was he that she was standing against. At that James pulled all brakes on. Lily should not be a factor at this point but even as these thoughts crossed his mind her red hair caught his eye as she entered the hall. Without intending to his eyes followed her as she made her way to their table apparently searching for someone. Whoever she was looking for wasn't there and she sat down beside Cerise her expression grim.

"Evans!" Sirius called out loudly and waved. He was in a jovial mood, which also meant that he had found a new source of amusement. People turned around to look and Lily felt that she ought to hide her face. "Evans!" he hollered again.

Cerise nudged her friend who had frozen with her spine rod straight. "He's calling you."

"I _know_." Lily said her lips tight.

"It will get worse if you ignore him you know." She warned. Either Sirius didn't care or he was determined to do whatever it was that he had in mind.  
  
"You're not ignoring him are you?" Cerise was clearly enjoying herself.

"I'm trying very hard to."

"That'll be a first for him! I'd personally be running there right now." She amused her head lounging lazily on her hand while she looked down the table at him. "I must say that he looks devastating tonight."

Lily rolled her eyes and stood up. "His looks may be devastating but so is his stupidity." Lily stomped down the aisle between the two houses' table and stopped in front of the smiling Sirius with her hands on her hips. "_What_ do you want, Black?"

His smile did not falter. "I have a little problem." Lily had to stop herself from correcting him because as far as she knew he had a big problem. She had to remind herself that she was being unfair. Everyone is entitled to having his or her own opinions, it was not her place to question his or hold it against him.

"What is it then?" she asked, her tone softening a bit.

Black pushed some hair away from his eyes with an air of slyness about him. "Well actually, it's quite a big problem." He admitted.

"Go on."

Sirius pointed at James all of a sudden. "I think he's broken." He said in a manner of telling someone that a toy of his was broken. "Can you fix him please?"

James looked startled. "What are you playing at Padfoot?"

Sirius ignored him and continued to speak to Lily. "Well you see, ever since you guys argued this morning he's been sulking-"

"Yeah right!" James grumbled but looked away.

"It's true! Prongs just admit it! You're one hair away from throwing a tantrum!" In one swift motion he got up and sidled up behind Lily just as James picked up a plate of mashed potato. Lily automatically picked up a platter of fruit in defense.

"Human shield!" Sirius shouted and held Lily firmly in front of him. James hesitated which lead to his downfall. Sirius had grabbed a hand full of food and lobbed it straight into James' face-

James sucked in a breath and wiped away the sauce that dribbled down the side of his face. Lily burst into a fit of giggles before she could stop herself. "This means _war_!" He tossed the contents of his plate at them. With a shriek Lily used the platter to block most of it off and the mashed potato splattered over the table and on quite a few heads.

"Food FIGHT!" Sirius bellowed and began to load up on the edible ammunition.

The last food fight Lily had been in was with Petunia when she was five and it nowhere as large as a scale as this. In seconds the whole hall was in an uproar. The students began to pelt each other with anything they could get their hands on. People screamed, shouted but mostly laughed as food attacked their friends until they also ended up with hamburgers in their faces.

James and Lily had ended up teaming up and semi strategically threw their food at Sirius. He retaliated with fists full of chips.

Upon hearing the masses of laughter Peeves shot straight into the hall. Not even he could remember the last time there had been a food fight there. He wasted no time and soon he was sending cannonballs of mixed food into mess knocking students straight off their feet.

It took the combined efforts of most of the staff to stop the tremendous fight and not long after Sirius, James and Lily found themselves standing in front of a very angry McGonagall. She practically blasted them and did everything up to threatening to denounce their Head Boy/Girl status and even waved a fist at Sirius. Afterwards she deducted a couple more hundred points leaving Gryffindor somewhere way below the zero mark and stomped out of her office muttering at the disgrace of having minus points.

In her place Dumbledore swept in and sat down at her desk with his long fingers tapping gently on the dark wood. Having most of their good mood deflated by the McGonagall and the prospect of three weeks worth of detentions the three students braced themselves. But after a few moments of inspecting them with his bright, twinkling eyes he merely smiled.

"Now tell me, who won?" Sirius, James and Lily exchanged looks of surprise.

Five minutes later they left the office with much of their good moods restored and their pockets stuffed with sweets. Now all that was left was their first of the many tasks set as part of their punishments: the mammoth job of cleaning the Great Hall.

* * *

**A/N:** Wow, I really started this chapter not quite knowing where it would go. I really did think that it would have ended up all dark but I guess I'll save that for the next chapter! I think something big might happen soon! Wasn't it nice to see them xXx 


	19. Primal Fear

  
  
**TO:** Taiyourshoes, I'm definitely not a fan of the double dating thing so rest assured it ain't gonna happen!

* * *

It was approaching midnight and the three were still busy in the main hall. It was unnaturally warm and both guys had loosened their ties and hung up their cloaks. With sleeves pushed up, each of them held a broom that unfortunately was as non-magical as Brent's Science books. 

James dropped his broom with a clatter. "This is wrong in so many ways." He said referring to what he thought was slave work in an oven. Not that he hadn't had his fair share of cleaning during detentions but just that this time they were forbidden to use magic. To make it worse it was _specifically _forbidden and there were no loopholes out of that one. He wiped his brow and unbuttoned the second to last button on his shirt. If McGonagall walked in right now he would have been reprimanded for indecent exposure, not that it mattered since they had no more points to dock off.

"Damn right!" Sirius agreed also dropping his broom. He flapped the sides of his open shirt to create some sort of air circulation on his sticky skin. Lily laughed at them. "You two are such cry babies!" she waved a hand at the massive double doors at the back of the hall and they opened letting a welcomed cool breeze in. "You're just fine with flying brooms but totally hopeless with cleaning brooms!" 

It had taken them over three hours just to clean off the table surfaces and sweep the food into a big pile. She brushed her pile over and added it to the growing mountain. With a sigh she leaned her broom against a bench; they would have to leave cleaning the walls, armory and paintings tomorrow.

"Of course we're useless at it." Sirius eyed the broom at his feet and shook his head in dismay. "What a waste of a broom. They should be made for flying only." Lily shook her head but resigned to the fact that Sirius would never understand. "Let's call it a day shall we?" James nodded enthusiastically. "It's about time we went to see Moony anyway." Lily frowned. "But there's still few more days till that time of the month." She looked up but the forecast inside the hall's magical sky was cloudy. Sirius and James exchanged a smirk. "He's at the hospital wing." Sirius said. "With your little Yoannie." 

Lily's eyes widened and she gasped in surprise at his hint and then settled with a grin. "Wow, imagine that."

* * *

Later however, as the three of them made their way to the hospital wing much of Lily's happiness had dissipated. The pressing questions she had had earlier were back and so was that heavy nervous feeling at the pit of her stomach. 

"Is something wrong?" James asked noticing her sudden quietness. Lily shook her head but steadily the feeling grew.

They reached the ward and she broke a little away choosing to enter first. She stepped in, too eager to see Yoanna than to watch her step until she tripped over and landed painfully on her knees. The palms of her hands were grazed and her knee hurt a bit but other than that she was fine. Lily sat up cursing about someone's carelessness for leaving something in the middle of the floor and wondered why Madam Pomfrey hadn't done something about it.

"_Madame Pomfrey_!" Lily scrabbled to the prone figure she had tripped over.

James was there in an instant inspecting the unconscious witch. "She's been...stunned." The look of disbelief disappeared and he wordlessly pulled his wand and reached out for Lily. Likewise Sirius also had his wand out.

"Whoever it was, he might still be here." Sirius whispered. Lily also pulled out her wand and together they inched towards the inner set of doors. James peeked his head in and quietly entered after seeing it was empty followed closely by Lily and Sirius.

They could hear banging and thumping in the storage room that was located in the top right of the ward. Lily unconsciously gripped onto the tail of James' shirt and tightened the hold on her wand.

"_Yoanna_!" Remus cried out and all three jumped when the doors crashed open-

Yoanna barreled out and charged straight at them with Remus hot on pursuit. Her eyes were wide and blind panic twisted her usually calm features into a mask of horror. In what Lily could only describe as a _deranged_ state of mind she twisted, clawed, spat and bit into Remus who had caught her from behind. Sirius went running to Remus and pulled her off but she continued her frenzied attack and bit deeply into his arm. Hissing he dropped her to the floor and clamped his hand over the bleeding bite mark.

"Don't let her get away!" Remus screamed loud enough to snap James and Lily out of their stupor.

"Yoanna!" Lily shrieked as the girl rammed into James as he intercepted her. Yoanna howled and continually tried to claw out of his arms.

"Yoanna! Stop it!" But she continued to fight with inhuman strength in her ferocity. Left with no choice James used his physical advantage to manhandle her to the floor but still she fought fiercely in a way that made him think of a trapped animal. Primal fear had gripped her at such an intensity that taking flight overrode all reason. Lily now down on her knees too seized an arm Yoanna had managed to free and pinned it down to the floor.

"What is wrong with her?!" James gritted through his teeth.

Lily bit her lip and pointed her free wand hand at Yoanna. "I'm sorry Yoannie!" she sobbed. "_Immobulus_!" Yoanna went limp at once.

James' shoulders dropped and he sat up. "Wha-???" he pointed at Yoanna and looked to Remus lost for words.

"We need to get help." Remus panted.

"Right to it." Sirius went off to alert the teachers cradling his bitten arm and still on guard with his wand.

Lily gathered Yoanna in her arms and rocked her gently. If only she had gotten here _earlier_...

* * *

**A/N:** I'm pretty much writing a chunk now and I could just continue writing to make the chapter that much longer but I'm evil and it's too much of a good place to put a chapter end for me to ignore. To make up for it I might get another update up in a few hours or less depending on how hard/easy I find the next chapter is to write. Enjoy and thank you for your reviews! xXx 


	20. Could Have Been Worse

  
  
**A/N:** Hello to all you new reviewers and welcome back to all my favourite returners! By the way, I've added a little section at the beginning of chapter 13 to make up for the loss of a chapter. It's nowhere near the original but at least it doesn't leave a gaping hole in the plot.  
  
**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own the characters you recognise!  
  
**TO**: ember marieclaire, haha I actually find that American accents can be very sexy and to be honest the guys here aren't too special! Just a lot of cotton wool that has been pulled over to make England seem pretty!

* * *

Lily made a disturbing discovery that made her shake uncontrollably. She had never been one to scare easily but horror and fear flooded her at the sight of the extent of destruction on Yoanna's bed. The sheets had been torn off the bed and _shredded _to pieces, the pillows cases had been turned inside out, the pillow itself ripped open with its feathery innards strewn all over the floor. All of the "get well soon" cards and presents had been torn to pieces nothing that belonged to Yoanna was left intact. Someone had _deliberately_ destroyed every last article seemingly out of spite. She glanced at Yoanna's figure on a new bed and lowered herself onto a chair before her legs gave way.  
  
"James?" Her voice came out hoarse and she had to swallow deeply before she could continue. James who had just lifted Madam Pomfrey to another bed hurried over. He knelt down beside her chair worry creasing his brow. "I think I know who did this-" Remus' head shot up and scooted over to listen.  
  
"You know who did this?" He studied her intently and waited for her to reply. Remus clenched his fist.  
  
"I kind of do, not who he is exactly but he...he..." Lily buried her face in her hands. "I don't even know how to say this!" she said her voice raising shrilly.  
  
"Lily, look up, here at me." James persuaded softly. Reluctantly Lily did so. "You owe it to Yoanna to say whatever it is you have to say."  
  
Remus nodded. "Whoever he is he's dangerous. He's watching us. In the space of minutes that I was away, he attacked her. I came back and I found..." Remus couldn't find the right words to explain what he'd found. "I found Yoanna hiding in the closet and then she started struggling-" He gave up. "You saw what he's done to Madam Pomfrey and to Yoanna."  
  
Lily bit her lip. "I think he's controlling us...by our dreams." Slowly she told them about her sleep walking dreams and how they led her to the grave, the timing of it all, how her dreams stopped just as Yoanna's began. It was all speculation of course but Lily trusted gut feelings and this sure as hell was one of them. "It's as if he's doing it one person at a time, like I've played my part and now he needs Yoanna. There seems to be a motive behind it all but I can't put my finger on it. And the scariest thing of all is that the book says the dream controller has to have close contact with the dreamer in the waking hours."  
  
James looked down at the ruined bed. "Meaning whoever did this is in Hogwarts. In contact and _watching_ us every day..."  
  
Lily swallowed hard.  
  
"_It's worth considering that Hogwarts might be watched_."  
  
Did Rosie foresee this or did she _know _that someone was watching them?

* * *

Sirius collided heavily into someone just as he turned a corner in the semi-dark corridor. The person he'd hit bounced off him and landed on the floor. He was about to apologise but he recognised the green of the uniform.  
  
"It's you." She said ignoring his offer to help her up and stood up by herself. Her hand clutching her side protectively.  
  
"Rosie! A pleasant but definitely surprising surprise! What are you doing up past the curfew?"  
  
Rosie made a noise of displeasure. "What is it with you Gryffindors? Do you think that it's just you guys that can wander off at night? It's not as if the rest of us don't have legs-"  
  
A high pitched voice cut her off. "Is someone down there?" It was Professor Flitwick. Suddenly remembering his reason to be wandering around with a bite mark on his hand Sirius answered.  
  
"Yeah! Professor! Something's happened at the hospital wing!" Sirius turned to tell Rosie that he had to be off but she was already gone. Sirius was impressed, that was a pretty quick exit.

* * *

Professor Flitwick managed to alert McGonagall. Her nostrils had flared as soon as she saw Sirius but her anger died out once he filled her in of what had happened while they rushed to the hospital wing. By the time they arrived there Lily had calmed down considerably and James and Remus looked grimmer than ever.  
  
McGonagall saw to Madam Pomfrey and Yoanna immediately. She quickly determined that she was unable to help either of them and she sent Flitwick off to make arrangements for them to be transported to St. Mungo's. She also sent an owl to Dumbledore who had just left for London.  
  
With all that done she sat and listened to them, her expression grave as James carefully retold her all that they had learnt and suspected. Her eyes widened slightly at the mention of the possibility of someone Dream Breaking but said nothing. James would have hesitated in sharing the information had it been any other teacher but McGonagall's loyalty to Dumbledore was absolute.

Even when he had finished McGonagall made no comments what so ever and shooed them off to bed. If only she had portrayed some surprise or had given an indication that she had also suspected something was wrong, anything! Her silence told them nothing nor did it offer any of the relief that they sought after. It did however effectively show them that they themselves were young adults now and could no longer benefit from the luxury of thinking that adults knew everything and could solve every problem. Whether they liked it or not she was likely to be as much in the dark as they were.

* * *

The group trudged back to the Gryffindor tower each lost in their own thoughts. Sirius hardly reacted to Lily's information at all. He pressed his lips in a thin line but he hadn't been all that surprised. James wondered just how much he had heard back during his brief stay at his home before he had moved in with him and made a note to ask later.  
  
"So he wants _it _back?" Sirius rubbed his head recalling Yoanna's hysterical screams about a certain _him _that was trying to get to her two nights ago. "The hand or whatever it was that you threw away. So he could very well be using Yoanna to get it back. But the hand is back in the forest...why hasn't he made Yoanna sleep walk into the forest yet then?" he said voicing his thought process.  
  
Lily hung her head low. "I guess because each person has a different mind capacity, some are just more resistent than others." If possible she felt even worse than before. If someone was indeed Dream Breaking she must have been a breeze to get into because she hadn't even known she was being controlled. The thought her mind had been..._violated_ repulsed and sickened her. At least Yoanna was trying to fight whoever it was that was committing this heinous act.  
  
"What is so _bloody important_ about this hand?" Sirius pondered.  
  
"Wouldn't we all like to know." James rubbed his temples and rumpled his hair as if it would aid his thinking. "Why waste so much energy controlling someone else to go get something?"  
  
Sirius looked at James as if he had just walked past a very obvious point. "Why not, when you can save yourself some leg work and can get some other lackey to do your dirty work? I wouldn't exactly call going into the forest a picnic trip."  
  
James ignored Sirius's light sarcasm. "Isn't Dream Breaking a lot like Legilimency? That's some powerful stuff, it's not exactly a walk in the park doing that either."  
  
Sirius agreed. Being able to extract emotions and thoughts from a mind is a difficult enough task but being able to take control was a whole different level. "How many students do you think can do that?"  
  
"No one said that it had to be a student." Remus brooded. They all shifted uncomfortably at the possibility and no one spoke again until they were safe inside the Common Room.  
  
Sirius stretched. "Oh well, one thing is for sure." They all turned and looked at him as he inspected his arm. "Looks like we're going back in." He didn't need to elaborate on "in" all questions pointed to the object that lay in a clearing somewhere in the Forbidden Forest.  
  
No one said anything, he was right; they couldn't leave things just as they were. They needed to get back in there and find that hand. Whatever it's purpose they would find out once they had it. If whomever it was that wanted it then they were going to get it first. There was still the possibility that it might not even be the hand that he was after but that was the only lead they had and with Yoanna gone who next would fall victim to the Dream Breaker?  
  
"How's you arm?" Remus asked, finally changing the subject after they stood awhile longer immersed in thought.  
  
In all honesty it had stopped bleeding and Sirius had all but forgotten about it but sighed with exaggerated relief anyway. "Lucky it was Yoanna that bit me and not you. Imagine the number of injections I would have needed. You having a rabid bite and all."  
  
"Not to mention the curse." Remus reminded, he was drained but not yet humourless.  
  
"Yeah, and that too! That would make things stink that much more: injections on my ass and an incurable curse. Yeah, today could have turned out much worse." He decided and sauntered up to their room.

* * *

**A/N**: Wow, sure was a cannon full of thick plot there! Phew! Made my brain sweat while writing it! A hell of a lot of questions yet to be answered and remember, these guys are still doing a lot of guesswork and inevitably guess work isn't always right. If I've confused or lost anyone while I've thickened the plot then do let me know and I'll try to clear it up further in the coming up chapters. There will be more explanations later anyway. Don't you guys just feel sorry for the characters? I mean they're engaged in childish but incredibly fun stuff one minute and then thrust into dark bad world the next!  
  
Anyways, enough of my eccentric babbling and on with the next chapter. I hope you've all enjoyed this so far! xXx 


	21. Lack Of Foresight

**A/N:** I'm sorry I confused so many of you guys in my last chapter! I guess I got a little to enthusiastic and dropped a bomb of info in it. I'll try to take it slower without bringing the story to a stop.  
  
I'm debating on whether to take the story right up to their deaths because I've suddenly gotten an idea or two for events leading up to then. What do you guys think? Yay or Nay?  
  
**TO**: Taiyourshoes, technically yea he does need to be in 'wolf form but the guys were just kidding around so it's all cool. As for the one you mentioned...muwahahhahahhha my lips are sealed xXx

* * *

Remus gazed up into the starry sky admiring the sooty darkness peppered with lights. It was particularly clear that night and a chill had settled like a blanket, come morning and there would also be frost covering the grounds. His breath came out in white puffs but it failed to obscure the swollen moon. In just a little under two days it would be full again.  
  
He sighed. "Are you sure everything is all set?" he asked Sirius who was leant against a tree whistling softly.  
  
"As set as it'll ever be. We've got the right spells," this time they had researched well and had spent lunch time learning a new trick or two. "We've got rations," he pointed at the small knapsack by his feet stuffed with emergency food. "We've even got Wormtail as back up, to hold he fort up while we're gone and to tell someone if we don't return."  
  
"That's comforting." Remus mused. If they could roam the forest and get out when they were in animals then they could do it when they were humans. They were only going a little deeper in than usual...  
  
"All we need now is for Prongs to hurry up and get his ass here so we can get it over and done with." Sirius crossed his arms and picked up his tune again.  
  
"Where did he go?"  
  
"He didn't say but I'd bet my broom and the Quidditch Cup that he's with Lily at the moment."  
  
"So certain?"  
  
Sirius shrugged with a smile. "He's one love sick puppy."

* * *

James was pacing after Lily in the Common Room while she hovered from chair to chair to avoid him. He had spent a good deal of the day trying to convince her not to go.  
  
"Save your breath Potter, I'm going to go." Lily replied tersely, she was as frustrated with his attempts to stop her going as he was with her stubbornness.  
  
James threw his hands up in the air. "Evans! There's no reason for you to go!" and he followed her once again as she stood up and moved onto the next comfort chair to put some distance between them.  
  
"Oh yes there is! I've got every reason to go because I know where I threw that damn thing!" Lily shot back and crossed her arms daring James to challenge her again.  
  
"But we already know it's in that clearing! We've been through this before. All we have to do is search the area." He protested. "There're no need for you to-"  
  
"I'll say it again: NO POTTER, I'M GOING!" she turned so that her back faced him. James scowled at the back of her head until an ingenious idea suddenly hit him. If he could just slowly-  
  
"And DON'T YOU EVEN TRY PULLING THAT WAND ON ME!" James froze in mid action, he wasn't getting anywhere dissuading her and one little sleeping spell wouldn't have hurt...that much. More alarmingly, _how did she know_? He stared at the back of her head searching for some sort of abnormality, namely eyes that would have seen him pulling out his wand. But her hair was perfectly normal and there wasn't an extra set of eyes.  
  
She turned to face him again this time her eyes flaring with menace. "Don't make me hex you Potter because I_ will_." She warned her voice low. The effect was immediate and James surrendered his wand straight away.  
  
Five minutes later they were making their way to meet Remus and Sirius, Lily happily trotting after James. Sirius was the first to spot them and applauded.  
  
"Mission failed, Prongs. Well done!" He obviously knew what James had tried to do and was silently marking James off as a lost cause. Whether Lily was aware of it not she had a profound effect on James that Sirius hoped no woman would ever have over himself.  
  
"Shut up, Padfoot." James replied easily.  
  
The Forbidden Forest loomed menacing below them. All they had to do was descend into the valley and they would once again be lost in the mystery of its existence. No doubt the were many creatures of the dark lying in wait for them but the object of their goal was inside and whether they liked it or not they were going back in.  
  
"Keep both eyes open." He said softly and began to slide down the hill.  
  
"As always." Sirius slapped James on the shoulder and then they went in.

* * *

"Are you sure that you guys remember the way?" Remus asked and ducked under a low branch. They had been trekking for well over an hour now although they had to stop many times to discuss whether they could recognize a particular rock or root.  
  
"That's the root Rosie tripped over." Sirius pointed out after another while.  
  
James peered down at the upraised and gnarled but otherwise not very special root with the aid of his lit up wand. "Are you sure? Just looks another bit of tree to me."  
  
"Sure, this is coming from Mr. Blinded-By-Porptule-Last-Time." Sirius pressed on. If this was indeed where they had passed through last time the forest had done a very good job at repairing the path they had trundled during their last visit. There was nowhere to go but straight into the heavily nettled growth.  
  
"Ow, ow, ow." Sirius complained as they walked. "Damn plants are stinging my legs!" When he held his wand low he could even see the plant snaking its prickled vines around his legs.  
  
"At least you're not wearing a skirt!" Lily cried out as a vine gave her a particularly vicious jab. The bottom of her uniform skirt was now jagged and the plants seem to favor snagging at it. Seeing her lagging behind James slowed his pace so he could help her detangle herself. "That's it!" Having had enough Lily pointed her wand to the ground around her feet. "_Incendio_!" A jet of flames spurted out from the end and the vines were fried in no time and those that escaped with minor burns retreated.  
  
Once past the patch of nettles they were faced with more dense growth that resembled ferns but these tended to whisper to each other as they passed.  
  
"Stay close, could get lost with all these big leaves." Remus warned and he picked up his speed to catch up with the others. The whispering increased but nothing jumped out to catch them. James' automatic movement to catch Lily's hand was not lost upon Sirius and he grinned at James.  
  
"You can hold my hand too!" he muttered under his breath to him as soon as he was close enough. James responded by using his wand much like a cane and cracked it on Sirius' head. A shot of sparks exploded from the end and flashed into the darkness ahead of them.  
  
"Hey." Lily cautioned disapprovingly and her hand withdrew from his and went into her cloak pocket. Sirius rubbed the sore spot and ducked around the other side to walk beside Remus before James could do it again.  
  
Every now and again Sirius would stop at a tree and draw a mark on its trunk with his wand pointing in the direction they had come in. Lily admitted that it was a much better than idea than her flour trail but it offered little comfort of leading them back out again. If the forest could screw about with time and directions to keep them circling then it could most definitely screw about with the little insignificant arrows. However, she kept these pessimistic thoughts to herself not wanting to ruin the general optimistic mood the guys shared.

* * *

Another indeterminate amount of time passed before Sirius sat down on a fallen log and refused to move another foot.  
  
"I'm tired!" he complained. "We're looking for the hand but there's no need to _kill_ ourselves to do so!" Lily also felt like her feet would collapse but there were too many questions to be answered for her to want to rest. Particularly since all questions seemed to stem from that hand. Again she questioned its importance all the while trying to suppress her fear of that creature that had crawled out of the grave.  
  
James sighed knowing that Sirius was in one of those moods. "Fine, we'll take a very short break. A very short one only. Why don't know how long we've been in here. I know it's only been a few hours but time in here passes differently. Wormtail may have already told McGonagall where we've gone."  
  
"I'm sure Wormtail is able to hold his horses for a while." Sirius stretched unconcerned. So Peter had a history of panicking and making bad choices, but what made him reliable in this instance was the fact that he was scared of McGonagall and getting into trouble with her. "And so what if she knows? Just means we'll get a rescue team quicker that's all."  
  
"Then we're back to square one if it gets her before we find the hand." James pointed out.  
  
Meanwhile Lily lowered herself to the ground beside Remus who had remained rather quiet throughout. She glanced over to his lowered head and studied him without meaning to. He was neither as good-looking as Sirius nor as charming as James was but there was definitely another quality to him. For one thing he never picked a fight or hexed other students for amusement. He was generally pleasant with a sweet nature although she could also see a more outgoing and louder side to him when he was with the other two. Speaking of which, they were still debating over the time difference between Hogwarts and the forest.  
  
Lily glanced over at them continuing her observations. Sirius was as Cerise described. "Devastating" with his arrogant and aristocratic features; add on his usual cheek and there he was, the lethal combination that was Sirius Black.  
  
James was running through his hands through his hair as he spoke, it was a default gesture that used to annoy Lily but recently she had strangely gotten used to it. If he so wanted, James could easily look equally as haughty as his friend but more often than not he usually sported a half crooked grin that many found endearing. He was always bright with ideas and blazed with intelligence that Lily would sometimes be jealous although she would never admit it. It was worse when he flaunted it so openly while others had to work twice as hard just to be mediocre.  
  
As if sensing her stare James paused in mid sentence and looked at her. Lily dropped her eyes blushing furiously. She couldn't believe that he had just caught her staring like that! Not noticing anything amiss James continued talking while Lily stared at a clump of dried leaves at her feet as if it were the most fascinating set of leaves in the world. Her heart continued to thump heavily as if she had been caught doing something that she shouldn't be doing-  
  
The pile of leaves twitched. _What was that?!_ The pile twitched again this time a whole leaf turned itself over-  
  
A large beetle scuttled out of the hole. Lily sighed with relief. She had worked herself up over nothing. Wait...another beetle climbed out and ran away as fast as it could followed by another and another. Spiders and huge armies of ants were also on the move now, all around her they shot away and disappeared under bushes and into trees. Were these insects scared of her? Was it her perfume, her shampoo or what? As far as she knew only girls went running away from insects and never the other way around. She shuffled back as a centipede as thick as her wrist wove straight past her, its hundreds of legs working in unison. Her hand landed on Remus' rigid leg and she apologized.  
  
Remus did not reply. He looked awfully pale and Lily could see that he had broken out in a cold sweet. His hands clenched into balls, his knuckles white and a muscle in his cheek jerked. Her first thought was that he had gone into some sort of seizure but then his all his muscles started to quiver and he convulsed. Now the bugs were running away in waves as if terrified...of _Remus_? Like rats to a sinking ship they knew when something bad was about to happen.  
  
"Remus!" Lily shrieked. His pupils had rolled to the back of his head and she could see only the white of his eyes. Sirius and James were on their feet in an instant.  
  
"Shit!" Sirius swore and gaped at the sky. He couldn't see the moon through the foliage but that didn't mean it wasn't full. James yanked Lily to her feet even as Remus seemed to grow in size. The material of his uniform ripped and muscles rippled and expanded.

James cursed at their lack of foresight prior to leaving; with the full moon being a mere two days away and knowing that time passed quickly inside the forest they should have been prepared.  
  
"MOVE!"  
  
They plunged into the darkness once more, the lights of their wands extinguished in their panic to run.

Seconds later a deep howl that rumbled through their very beings echoed in the dark forest night...

* * *

**A/N:** phew! I had a right case of writer's block at the beginning of this chapter but lucky for me an idea hit while I was idly tapping some keys. As always, enjoy enjoy enjoy! xXx 


	22. A Bit Of A Rough Night

**A/N:** Apologies for late update but weekends always slow my thinking! Actually, I think that's the alcohol but then...that's another story. I think this may be the longest chapter yet, well maybe one of the longest... Thank you for your lovely reviews!!!

**TO:** Taiyourshoes, it would be cool if you told me the mistakes you spotted in the last chapter. It helps me to write and if anything I can either fix the mistakes or explain it if I've just taken some artistic license. Thank you!!! XXx

* * *

Lily ran until her breathing grew jagged and every breath she took came out a wheeze. She had never been an athletic person although she did enjoy a game of Quidditch every now and again and wasn't too bad overall, but enjoying a game on a broom occasionally was a far cry from sprinting at top speed for her life. Both James and Sirius were doing considerably better and James was virtually dragging her along.

"No...more!" she wheezed grinding to a halt.

"Where is he? Where is he?" James' eyes searched the darkened path behind them. It was now minutes after the first howl and they had heard nothing since.

"Chill!" Sirius hushed slightly breathless. James had never been one to flip like that; Remus as a werewolf had come across unsuspecting people before but James had always kept a cool head and made sure no one was hurt but never once had he reacted like he was now. "Maybe he's gone off to chase some rabbits or something. It is a forest after all. " He tried keeping his tone light.

James looked at Sirius pointedly. "He's a _werewolf_ do you think he'd prefer chasing rabbit flesh or human flesh? In any case, if any thing we've seen in this forest is anything to go by then I'm sure it's going to be one mutant bunny. He's a werewolf, not _stupid._"

_Uh oh_. Sirius scratched his head. Maybe the recent pressure with his family and all had been building up too much and he was ready to snap. It was most unfortunate that it should happen now but Sirius wasn't about to cry over it, James was James; he'd pull through.

"Right, so the moon has _complicated _things." He said, taking charge. "But that doesn't stop us from looking for that hand."

James took in a deep breath realizing what an asshole he was being and released it trying to push out the pent up pressure along with it. He'd have to thank Sirius later but right now he needed to focus. "I think it's bout time we get changing."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Why?"

James wondered how Sirius could be so clever yet miss the obvious. "Because we're like walking pork chops for Moony if we continue as humans."

"Uh, right." Sirius said feeling a bit silly for not having thought of that but then he pointed at Lily. "What are we going to do with Miss. Pork Chop then?"

"_Lily Evans_ will be just fine." Lily replied not quite appreciating Sirius' new name for her. For his sake she hoped that he would continue to call her 'Evans' instead. "I'll just have to continue as I am, not that I have much choice." She added. "One pork chop is better than three." She concluded and backed away to give the guys enough space for their transformed animal shapes. James pointed his wand at his head unceremoniously but Sirius hesitated.

"Don't look! I'm changing!"

Unsure whether he was joking or not Lily turned her back to them all the same. She busied herself rubbing her cold arms and less than a minute later something warm nudged her neck making her jump. It was James in his stag form. Lily was taken aback at how tall and powerful looking he was and was surprised at how much detail she had failed to observe the first time she had seen him in this form. Proud antlers towered from the crown of his head and thick creamy fur lined his graceful neck almost like a rich lion's mane. Large liquid dark eyes glowed in the dim light and they watched her carefully as she studied him. Reaching out she touched her fingers to his velvety nose and then pressed her palm flat on it with a little stroke. It was a lot like petting a horse's nose except it was more furry and softer. James patiently stood still for her until Sirius the dog made a sound that sounded amazingly like _ahem_.

Flustered Lily withdrew her hand and stood back. Sirius' ears pricked and he held is wet nose up to sniff the air. With a barely audible growl he turned and started to pad away. James caught the loose end of Lily's cloak and began to pull her after Sirius.

* * *

"I think we're lost." Lily whispered some half an hour later. Neither James nor Sirius could reply but their presence was a great comfort in the eerie silence of the forest all the same. Were she by herself she knew that she would be thoroughly spooked out. The Forest had an uncanny way of filling one with dread with its lack of natural nocturnal noises and replacing it with inexplicable whispers and rustling.

She continued to walk her left hand buried in James' thick fur around the neck and her right holding a cautiously lit wand. Sirius wasn't doing her nerves any good neither. He constantly weaved in and out around them, his ears always alert and his nose sniffing the air tentatively. Lily knew he was watching out for them but his precise movements and darting eyes made her feel like that they were being _stalked_. Something was following them at a distance that would have otherwise escaped her notice but close enough for Sirius to be aware of the threat. It was a predator and prey feeling that she could not shake off. James was ever tense and together with Sirius' restless alertness, she knew that they were just waiting for something to happen-

All of a sudden it happen too quickly for Lily to react. James had done a full body turn to face the path they had just come through and had almost knocked her off her feet. Sirius was also turned in that direction his front quarters lowered and growling deeply.

A deep and guttural growl echoed somewhere from the darkness making Lily look around fearfully. There was nothing but the darkness of overgrowth and tree silhouettes for her to see but somewhere out there, there was a werewolf watching her. Somewhere back at the path they had just left something erupted-

-Leaves and dirt went flying as the werewolf launched itself at them. James lowered his great head prepared to attack as Sirius threw himself at the starved beast. Lily yelped and stumbled back at the sight of the grey snapping wide jaws that dripped with saliva. The canine dog collided into the lupine hulk with a heavy thud and glottal howls. Overcome with déjà vu caused by the same fear as last time, Lily froze like a petrified rabbit. A million commands crossed her mind including climbing up the nearest tree or just turning around and fleeing for her life but her body refused to listen in her blind panic.

She watched in horror as Sirius jumped back and James charged forward, his antlers catching the werewolf off guard. He tossed Remus up into the air into a nearby bush but Remus was not discouraged and came flying back. With a heavy swipe he knocked Sirius away and confronted James. It circled him, wary of the lowered antlers. Course hair bristled on its arched back and it darted forwards taking James by surprise when he dived under his long legs instead of at him. James stamped his feet alarmed at not being able to see underneath himself. Dust and dirt clouded up around his hooves and Remus dodged under his stampeding legs unable to escape from the inescapable footwork prison. With one vicious and well place swing Remus raked his sharp claws on the underside of the stag. With a sharp nay James kicked upwards and away giving the werewolf enough time to escape and left him face to face with Lily-

-A second passed as the werewolf seemed to take glory at reaching its prey before it readied itself to pounce on her. In the very same instant that it was air borne Lily realized the one advantage she had as a human-

"_Stupefy!!"_ Remus knocked her over and landed heavily on her. Winded and pinned down Lily watched as its mouth widened and white teeth flashed in preparation to snap her neck. A force rammed into the werewolf and it was gone. James had knocked him off but the werewolf was hunched ready to leap again. Sirius was back in, this time snapping even more ferociously-

Stunned, Lily rolled over and scrambled to her feet. It hadn't worked! Her spell hadn't worked! Heart pounding she could see Remus attacking again spurred on by his near victory. Lily pointed her wand. "_Stupefy!_" The werewolf didn't so much as twitch. "_Stupefy!_" she shouted again and again until it became almost like a chant. She knew she wasn't saying it wrong. It had to work!

Lily clenched her eyes shut briefly knowing that unless she got a control over herself then no spell would ever work. Opening them again she steadied her shaking hand. "_STUPEFY_!" The effect was instantaneous and bolts of red hurled out of her wand and smashed into Remus. Thrown back Remus let out a yelp and landed on the ground unconscious.

Hurrying to him she pointed her wand again. "_Homorphus!_" she croaked. The hair on Remus molted away gradually revealing skin and ripped shirt and trousers. Limbs unlocked and cracked as the bones of the werewolf joints collapsed to form human ones.

If only they had used this charm when he was first transforming this would have never happened, she thought. Although thoroughly shaken Lily was mentally kicking herself for not having remembered or reacted earlier. Similarly Sirus had also collapsed in human form on the ground with his head in his arms. They had spent lunch leaning such spells yet they had plain forgotten about them when the need for it arose.

"James!" Lily crawled over to where he lay panting on the ground clutching his stomach. "James! Oh my-!"

"It's never as bad as it looks, Lily." He said comfortingly. He had an awful feeling that she was going to cry. Lily lifted his shredded shirt up her expression still horrified. Five claw marks reached from almost neck to waist but it wasn't bleeding as much as she was expecting, nonetheless she bit down on her lower lip at the sight of the raw flesh. "I wouldn't look like that if I were you, it almost looks like you care!" he said good-naturedly.

It was then that Lily did cry. "Shut UP POTTER!" she slapped his hand away and wiped at her face furiously before turning to Sirius. "Are you okay?" she ventured with a sniff. He nodded and continued to stare at unconscious Remus with guilt. Lily could see that he was not okay. Claw marks lined his neck and shoulders and there was a gash across his cheek.

Sirius flinched when Lily pressed a handkerchief to a particular burning spot on his cheek but accepted it gratefully. "You all right there mate?" he asked James in the most casual of tones. Lily was amazed at his ability to act out normality and even more amazed by the reply he received when she herself was pretty close to hysterics.

James waved his hand from where he still lay. "Had a bit of a rough night." He replied conversationally. With a grunt of effort he heaved himself up to his elbows and looked around. "Padfoot, I rekon someone might still smile upon us."

"_Pfft_...some smile." Sirius winced and dabbed the bloodied hankie to his face again.

"We've found the clearing."

Surprised Sirius and Lily looked around. Some time amidst their fight with Remus they had rolled into the undergrowth to emerge at the very same clearing where they had had marshmallows. Their happiness at having achieved something that was near impossible (although none of them had wanted to admit it when they started) was short lived because despite their thorough searching the hand was nowhere to found. Lily searched and re-searched the patch of tall grass where she had sworn the hand had landed but there was nothing there. Soon they broadened their search to the whole area but still there was nothing.

"Trust our luck, I bet Moony is lying right on top of it!" James said finally.

"No...that would be a blessing." Sirus corrected. As unlikely as it was the guys still rolled their friend over just to double check but there was nothing except flattened grass.

"I can't believe it's gone." Lily sighed and sat down.

"Not gone, _taken._" Sirius said thoughtfully.

High above them leaves rustled signaling the awakening of certain little friends. "Shoot one piece of your yellow shit at me and I'll burn your damn tree down!" Sirius threatened.

All the same, they hurried top their feet and James pulled Remus up balancing him on his shoulder with difficulty because of his wounds.

Sirius quickly decided that he would lead the way in his animagi form because of his keen sense of smell and he was positive he could lead them out using it. However, James was convinced he decided this simply because it meant that he would get out of taking his turn on carrying Remus. In answer to his suspicion Sirius gave a happy bark and led them away even as a shower of _porps_ smattered the clearing they were leaving behind.

* * *

**A/N:** have been a better chapter but I enjoyed writing it nonetheless. So where has the hand gone? Damn...I've gotta stop calling it the "hand" because it sounds kinda stupid. Maybe I'll give it an official name or something in the next chapter.

To sum up the last few chapters, the guys have gone back in believing that finding the "hand" would give them some answers to who or what is trying to control them through dreams and what significance it may have. Of course things got a bit complicated and they come out empty handed but Sirius is convinced that it has been "taken".

I hope I haven't bored you guys silly with a complicated plot! xXx


	23. Food For Thought

**A/N**: apologies for slow update but I've been having some problems with FF, it seems that more often than not my log in page is unavailable. I have no idea why! It's taken me ages to get this chapter uploaded with any deletions! I also want to apologize for the state of this chapter, it is definitely not one of the better ones but I think it was needed to set up some major stuff that I promise will be much better! Oh, and guys...don't hate me for it but I've taken a lot of liberty...well enough of it although I do want to say that it is NOT and assumption in any way. It's just an idea that will answer a lot of questions later in this story.

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Nothing could describe the immense relief that the group felt when they emerged from the edge of the forest an hour or two later. It was night time and although it felt like it was only earlier that night that they had entered the forest they knew that there was a high possibility that it was actually days after. For one thing, the moon was beginning to wane.

Sirius was no longer in his dog form but still he sniffed the crispy cold air. "Somehow the air inside the forest smells foul." He commented. Lily breathed in the cold chilliness but couldn't discern any notable difference. However she did notice that leaving the forest felt a lot like what she imagined leaving a prison would be like as she had suspected they had to ignore the majority of the arrows that they had drawn and rely on Sirius' nose instead. They covered Hogwarts grounds quickly and emerged inside via a hidden route that Lily hadn't known about.

"What have we _here_?" A low voice greeted them at the first corner they turned. James and Sirius knew who it was straight away. Two people stood midway up a fight of stairs, more specifically two Slytherins were standing there. Lily couldn't help but cast a discreet surreptitious at the hidden entrance to check that it was truly concealed.

"Hello to you too, _Snivellus_." Sirius chirped happily and flicked a glance at the blonde haired guy next to him.

Snape's eyes narrowed and he looked down his crooked nose at them. "What are you doing out of bed past your bed time?"

"Likewise, pal." James retorted. He was not taking to Snape's condescending tone very well and his patience wasn't at its best. Remus may not have the build of a boxer but he wasn't exactly feather light either. He was beginning to tire and he had to keep hitching him up further on his shoulder to keep himself balanced. His wounds were by no means life threatening but they were one hell of a sore sport all the same.

"With the Head Boy and Girl missing new members have been elected." Jacob said proudly in answer. Now that they had moved closer they could see a very shiny badge pinned on Snape's robes. It was not _the_ Head Boy badge but it did support the letters 'THB' that stood for Temporary Head Boy. James could think of a few less nice things that the letters stood for. Snape must have been chosen to uphold the Head duties.

"Oh, so not you then?" James returned his composure relaxed and confident. "Temporary, that's not bad." Meanwhile Sirius was racking his brain over where he had seen the other Slytherin before and it took him a while before he remembered him. Rosie's boyfriend.

"Wicked! So Head Boy and Head Girl then!" he grinned as he allocated Jacob as the boy and Snape as the girl. He then mock shivered at the thought.

"Save your humor, Black. Why are you out at this time." Snape demanded again. Lily couldn't help but feel that Snape was not entirely clueless to their whereabouts. He was certainly suspicious of them.

Sirius looked up to the clock mounted up on the wall. "Relax, we're just on a way back. We're only one minute late, you can hardly penalize us for that." Snaped gave them a look that said he could do otherwise. "Besides, I was just coming back...from seeing Rosie." Sirius said with glee. He was deliberately hitting a sensitive and painful nerve. Jacob looked like was would jump on Sirius who was more than ready to fight back. He was already scratched up and another bruise or two wouldn't have made all that much of a difference. His wand hand twitched and he felt almost disappointed when Snape stopped Jacob.

"Quiet." Sanpe snapped. Jacob silenced immediately and James wondered what kind of power could stringy and thin Snape could have over the well built Jacob?

"Fine, so tell me Black, if you have just come back from seeing a girl then what about the other three." Snape drawled. By any standards that was not a reasonable excuse for Sirius to be out past the curfew but it seemed that Snape didn't care, which was fine with them. If he wanted to hear their made up excuses they could sit there all night and feed him all sorts of made up crap. He had to _know_ that! Then why in the world was he wasting time holding questioning them?

Sirius sighed deeply and deliberately as if he was a poor soul left to explain an impossible concept to a stupid student. "It's called _dating_, Snape." He said gravely. "I know you'll never understand the concept but people date." Lily knew better than to deny Sirius's words and she hooked an arm through James' defiantly.

Snape's eyebrows twitched. "Turned into a Potter fan as well then? I thought you couldn't get any lower. I take it I was wrong."

"Last time I checked, whoever I dated was none of your concern." She said and smiled sweetly at him. Snape shifted uncomfortably, Lily noted with surprise that he actually _looked away_ from her. A comment that Cerise had once made crossed her mind and before Lily could think twice she spoke again. "I could date _you_ of course, but that would be _wrong_." She almost purred the end of her sentence. Unless she was seeing things Snape's cheeks colored ever so slightly. James silently gagged while Sirius had his hand pressed over his mouth to stop himself from bursting with laughter. What a revelation!

"What interesting dating patterns you have Mudblood, you take your _hairy_ friend along?" Snape continued his face rapidly returning to its usual deathly pale. The minor exchange was lost upon Jacob but he nodded along anyway.

"Have you never seen a drunk person, _Snivellus_?" James responded in answer to his probing stare at Remus. If he wasn't required to hold Remus up with both his hands he would have pulled Lily further away from Snape; something about Snape's dark eyes unsettled him

"Poor guy is suffering from heart break because he's away from his love and has to resort to drinking, but I guess you would know all about that wouldn't you? Knowing there's someone you can't possibly have." Sirius picked up suggestively. Lily almost winced and felt bad for having started the subject. That was way below the belt but Snape looked like he was considering retreat and Sirius was quickly forgiven.

She seized on Snape's silence. "Anyhow, gentleman, if you please?" She started before Sirius could say any more. She moved forward and Snape flinched back as if afraid that she might touch him. "The Head Boy and Head Girl are back now. We'll deal with Black and Lupin accordingly." With that she brushed past him and the other automatically following. Snape lingered behind watching them leave the corners of his mouth was lifted in what might have been a smile. They could be as cocky as they wanted because he knew something that they didn't know and would never know until it's too late...

---

"I wonder what he's thinking, he looks ever so thoughtful." Cerise said dreamily. Feeling rather bored and sleepy in their History of Magic lessons Lily was confused at first until Cerise nodded her head towards James. He indeed did rather seem lost in his thoughts with his head propped up by a hand and his long legs spread out lazily under the desk. "It's got to be something really special or something, just look at his concentration!" Cerise continued.

Lily once again peered at the 'thoughtful' James. "Yeah," she agreed before continuing curtly "He's thinking about food." Ha said that she now tried to return her attention to class while her stomach growled.

Cerise smiled but said nothing, preferring to believe that he was lost in some kind of intellectual thought. "He's a lot cuter without his glasses." She observed. Lily reluctantly sneaked another look. He had taken his glasses off and was rubbing the bridge of his nose carefully.

"I thought you were into Sirius?" Lily asked as her friend openly stared at him from across the room.

"I am yes, but that doesn't stop me from looking at some one else!" she gave Lily a knowing wink. "Besides, there isn't much to look at the moment." She tilted her head in his direction to indicate what she meant.. Lily could just about see his head resting on the table past James and understood what she meant straight away. Having given up on the lesson completely he had lain his head down and looked like he was snoring softly with his mouth slightly open. How _attractive _Lily mused and she would have voiced it aloud but she knew that her sarcasm would be lost upon her bedazzled friend.

The end of class came and the students stood up, many stifling yawns and others were openly stretching. Sirius was one of the latter and James also gave a little stretch.

"Finally! Lunch! I've been dreaming about it since the start of the lesson!" he exclaimed.

Lily inwardly smiled as she heard this when she passed by. She headed straight for the library; lunch was not on her agenda that day nor had it been for the past week. If anything the disappearance of the hand made her more determined than ever to find out exactly what it was and what significance it may hold. Day after day she had spent hours poring over books hoping to come across anything that might shed some light.

As expected the library was empty and she went straight to her usual spot in a secluded area. Half an hour passed and Lily knew that today she would not make much progress. It seemed that she could come across nothing but spells for quick hands, invisible hands and even a dead hands spell that Lily had found interesting but were of no importance. With a sigh she closed the heavy book.

"Lily."

Lily jumped in her seat as Brent dropped onto a chair opposite her. "Brent!"

"Hey Miss. Jumpy." He greeted cheerfully.

"What are you doing here?" Lily asked bluntly. "I mean...sorry that was rude of me... it's just that everyone is usually at lunch at this time." She half stammered.

Brent shrugged. "The attention was too much at the tables. I was feeling rather closed in." He swept a hand across the library. "This is the only place that a guy seems to get some sort of peace." He said sadly. "On the other hand I get to read up on a lot magic stuff. I'm surprised, some of it is can be rather interesting." He pulled out a large thick book and opened it up on the table. The pages were yellowed slightly but it was full of intricate hand drawn art and loopy writing. "My old man gave this to me." He explained. "He said that it would do me some good to read."

Lily reached out and turned the book so she could read the cover. "_Mystical Beings_." She read aloud.

"I guess it's quite interesting. A bunch of beings that are supposedly seen like gods by Muggles but are in fact just some powerful creatures that existed a long time ago. I guess you could say that they're now extinct."

Lily flicked through a few pages absentmindedly. Her hand froze over a particularly vibrant painted picture of a familiar creature.

"Protector of Sameth the Great..." Lily read. All of a sudden, not everything seemed to swim around in mystery any more.

---

Peter snorted into his juice as Sirius was once again acting out the evening of their return with a few additional touches of course. James was not as appreciative of Sirius' newfound interest in Snape and continued to brood.

Sirius slapped him heartily on the back. "You can't seriously feel threatened by him are you?"

"No!" James knew his friend well and Sirius was not the type to let something like this go until he had ridden it into the ground and then stamped on it some more after.

"Then everything is fine! I mean, if you were then I've seriously got to start thinking about turning you into a monk or something. Or at least convince you to devote yourself to religion." Sirius slapped his hand on the table highly excited. "The amount of hell I can put that poor excuse through..." he mused staring off into the distance.

This was precisely what James did not want because if it did it would inevitably involve Lily. "Padfoot-"

"Relax, Prongs! I swear that what ever it is I end up doing it won't involve Evans." Sirius looked almost sincere but James wasn't fooled although he did let it pass. "At least not directly anyway." He muttered mischievously as he stood up suddenly. It was not so much as getting away from James at the moment as seeing something that pricked his interest

Across from them in a corner of the hall's side entrance he could see two people engaged in a not so pretty conversation he decided as he neared them.

"You suspicious control freak!" Rosie yelled at Jacob. "I don't need you to tail me everywhere I go! I told you the truth and if you don't believe me then FINE!"

Jacob looked incensed. "But I asked Jackson and she said that you're always out of bed at night! She tells me that you even dream about _him_!" He pointed an accusing finger past her shoulder at Sirius.

"Me?" Sirius pointed a finger at himself in surprise.

More furious than before Jacob continued now shouting. "'Don't let him get me!'" he quoted in a girlish high-pitched voice. Now Sirius frowned, where had he heard that before?

Rosie visibly paled and she gritted her teeth while her hand trailed down to her wand.

"Look at you! You're losing sleep over this loser!" Jacob yelled in her face. Now that he mentioned it she did look kind of tired to Sirius. She had dark circles beneath her eyes...but that wasn't the point and he knew it was his turn to do something.

"Hey!" Sirius stepped forward and pulled Rosie back. "You do not raise your voice to her like that." He warned. Jacob raised his hand but before he even got to swing it he fell down to the floor howling. Sirius stood back and whistled in admiration as Jacob continued to cry out in agony. He made a note never to push Rosie too far because that was some impressive stinging hex.

"Are you happy now?! Now _he's_ _got me_!" Rosie said venomously to Jacob and then stormed off.

Sirius watched her with a distinctive feeling that he may not be the '_him_' in her dreams or the '_he_'. It sure was a mind bender but then Sirius expected no less from a girl like Rosie. With a little nonchalant shrug he turned and walked back to the lunch table leaving Jacob to finish off his twitching in peace.

---

**A/N:** Just to say that not much happens in this chapter, it's kinda of like a chapter to fill in before some major stuff begins to happen. And I'm happy to say after some big and weirdo stuff that happens there will be a more pleasant chapter(s) where James will visit Lily at her parents home for the first and only time. It will also be the visit that Petunia meets that supposedly "awful Potter".

Not wasn't that revelation shocking??? I'm sure it will make the story...interesting...

Thank you guys for sticking by me!


	24. The Calling

**A/N**: The real Sameth is actually my proofreader, otherwise known as Sameth The Bastard or Sameth the Prick depending on my mood. He said he wanted a part in the story so I gave him the role of someone important and dead, Yes I'm lovely aren't I? Having said that, to please his ego I will now say that he is very good looking and sexy.

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters just the story I've made up. Any other names that pop up are purely coincidental and have nothing to do with the originals that may exist.

**TO: **Taiyourshoes, most of the spells I've checked out on Lexicon website (which I owe many thanks to!) Apparently the _Hormorphus _spell was supposedly once used by Gilderoy on a werewolf somewhere. Like most of his stories I assumed they were true except that it wasn't he who used the spell. It is true that if it had worked they would have used it on him from the start so I assumed that it only works temporarily. I'm sorry I failed to explain that in the chapters but I have treated it as a temporary fix and because time passed quickly in the forest by the time it wore off the moon was no longer full but Remus remained stunned. Thanks for criticism! It shows me where I'm going wrong or not explaining things properly!

---

Lily stood with her arms folded and waited for a reaction from her small audience. It was chilly despite the unclouded sun and their breaths came out as smoke but it was refreshing to be outdoors for a while. James, Sirius, Peter and Remus returned her expectant gaze with blank looks.

"Well?" she prompted.

"Wait, so let me get this straight. The grave you pulled the hand from belonged to Sameth the Great? And this dude is meant to be some huge ass wizard that was around ages ago?" Lily nodded at Sirius. "And how do you know the grave was his?"

In answer Remus flicked through the pages of Lily's borrowed book until it showed a crude but accurate picture of the creature that guarded it. "This was the beast that was after us remember? He guards Sameth."

"Oh yeah." Sirius replied with disgust at the picture. "That thing can give Snape a run for his money." He commented. "Right, so why does someone want this guy's hand?"

"I don't know, the book doesn't say." Lily admitted. "But I will do soon."

Sirius chuckled. "How are you going to do that? Ask the dead guy?" he asked full of mirth

"That's precisely what she wants to do." James cut in his expression deadly serious. Lily wondered if she were truly that easy to read.

Peter licked his lips nervously. "But that's dangerous. We should never mess with the dead!"

"Nearly Headless Nick is dead and so is the Bloody Baron." Lily answered unperturbed.

"But they are spirits." Remus said thoughtfully, he was not protesting against the idea but merely running through the facts before he decided. "They choose to stay around us, I'm not sure this Sameth would be too pleased about being hailed by a bunch of teenagers."

"But he would want to know what's happened to his hand." James pointed out.

"He could also be the one that's causing the nightmares." Remus could still remember Yoanna's screams well. _"He wants it back."_ The _he_ she keeps dreaming about could very well be this Sameth in which case they were all wrong on guessing that there was a third unknown person involved. If that were the case then who or what led Lily to the grave in the first place? Remus shook his head. There were just too many questions and not a single answer to help the clause.

"If he's the one giving Yoanna nightmares because he wants his hand back, wouldn't that mean that Yoanna would have had his hand?" Nobody said anything and even James pondered over what he had just said. If she had seen Lily throw it away then she could have easily picked it up in the Portptule confusion. Now the question was _why_?

Lily toyed with a bit of hair nervously. Could Yoanna really have had the hand? "You see, we won't know until we ask him."

"I still think it's a bad idea." Peter said stubbornly.

"Well I think it's a bloody _good_ idea." Sirius stood up and brushed his cloak off but stopped when he noticed someone heading straight for them under the skeletal tree. "What's he up to?"

Lily paused trying to pick her words carefully. "Well you see, I thought we might need his help."

"Well, in that case I think it's a _bloody bad_ idea!" Sirius said just as Brent strode up with a wide grin.

"Hell-o, Lily!" he beamed and Lily offered a small smile in return and shuffled a little away as he flopped onto the grass beside her.

"I take it Lily let you in on our little secret mission then?" he asked not bothering to cover his excitement. "Brilliant isn't it? I'll be glad to assist you in your magicky stuff." He flailed his hands about to indicate _magic._

James cleared his throat whilst Sirius turned a laugh into a spluttering cough to which Lily gave him a disapproving look. Remus just watched Brent with mild interest while Peter just stared not quite sure of what to make of this guy.

Quite unaware of the Marauders, Brent turned to Lily. "Whenever you need me, I'll be around ready to help." He announced like he was taking a sworn oath.

"Is this guy for real?" Sirius mouthed to James. James sat very still, determined not to listen to anything Brent had to say. It proved very difficult and he thought he might have to physically leave to be able to tune out the blah blah copied-from-romance-novel lines that he rolled off with ease. Luckily a familiar _splat_ followed by a cry saved him from sticking his wand into his eardrums. Everyone looked at Sirius and then upwards.

Above them Tattlaevore circled their heads in wide swoops and Sirius' swearing grew to shouts.

"Damn you! You stupid bird!" he yelled with a fist in the air. James laughed at the large splash of white on Sirius' shoulder.

"Tatty's always had this thing against poor Padfoot." He explained to Lily. Ever since Tatty had been an owling she had singled him out. No one had any idea why but over the years she had developed an amazing array of tricks especially for him. Some days she would squirt some shit onto his plate when she brought morning mail, others she would suddenly fly in low and nip him sharply in the ear when she passed. Recently she had taken to making a farting noise whenever Sirius spoke and she happened to be around. However, her favorite above all was of course dropping a shit bomb on him, it was something she had perfected the art of and did so as often as she could.

Sirius made a desperate grab for one of his books and held it over his head. More than once she had hit bulls eye and he wasn't about to let it happen again. "You're hitting the wrong person!" he yelled upwards just as another bomb hit his arm. "OI! Can you say FRIED CHICKEN?!" His face went red as Tatty fired again.

Every one laughed until their sides were sore. Peter was rolling on the grass and Remus wiped the corner of his eye. "Man, I love that bird of yours, Prongs!"

"Me too, get it to fly closer." Sirius grumbled his hand itching for his wand. He would have said more but a continuous tune of surprisingly realistic fart noises cut him off. If possible Lily laughed even harder and she clutched her belly.

"Tatty, come here." James called out before Sirius really did hex her out of the sky. The large owl obediently flew down and landed on his arm. "Good girl." James stroked her soft feathers but she ruffled herself importantly and looked at the two that were unusual to the group. Lily looked at the wide innocent brown eyes and marveled at how mischievous this bird could be.

"I hope you never take a dislike to me like that." Lily said to her and stroked her creamy colored feathers.

"I don't think she will." James reassured her; Tatty usually liked most people well enough. "Isn't that right Tatty?" with a reprimanding hoot she nipped his finger. "She doesn't like it when I call her Tatty."

Sirius opened his mouth but closed it quickly again. He would save his breath for when that feathered bomber wasn't around.

---

Lily and the Marauders spent the evening planning the Calling as they ended up naming it. Left with very few choices they had chosen to carry it out in the Room of Requirement. The room had once again changed to suit their purpose complete with a very wide circular hearth that cast dancing shadows about the otherwise dark room.

"Spooky." Lily couldn't even see the corners of the room and most of the wall was line with large terra-cotta pots. Incense was burning softly somewhere but unlike the Divination tower the room was still cold and the last thing she felt like doing was sleeping.

"What next? How do we go about summoning Sameth then?" Sirius asked, his voice almost echoed in the hollow room.

"I'm not really too sure." Lily approached the wide fire feeling its heat on her face. In all honesty she hadn't really planned what they would do next. "I was hoping that we could use Brent's amulet and the somehow use a Calling spell."

Sirius frowned. "How is his rock going to call Sameth?"

"The amulet thins out the realm between the dead and the living." Remus answered. "I read up on it." He added. "It thins out any realm really." It really wasn't much of a plan but it would have to do. Now all they needed was Brent who was running very late.

Finally he arrived. "Phew! Had a hard time getting away." He wiped his hand across his forehead. "Whoa," he exclaimed as he took in the darkened room. He began to whistle the main theme to the _Twilight Zone_ but it was lost upon everyone except Lily.

"Yeah...sure...Let's just get this done shall we?" James gave Brent one last weird look and they all gathered to the red hearth. "Don't you think he should get into the fire?" Everyone looked at James in surprise and Sirius felt proud that he could exact out his dislike for him so openly. "No! Not like that! I mean we'll make it so that it doesn't burn him. Just so he's in the middle. You know, like a focus or something."

"Good thinking." Remus leaned forward and cast the appropriate spell and they all turned and looked at Brent, waiting for him to step in.

Brent looked at the flames doubtfully. "You're joking right?"

"Oh stop fussing!" Sirius shoved him in. With a cry he stumbled and then stood rigid with fear until he realized that contrary to burning him the flames were merely tickling him.

"Yeah, right everything is fine. I'm fine." He said, his voice a little high. Sirius shook his head.

"On the count of three then." Remus slowly counted and at zero they all chanted the Calling spell. Everyone stood still and the room filled with anticipation.

Seconds passed before Brent spoke. "Boy, do I feel stupid doing this."

Remus ignored him. "Again?" They repeated the same procedure three more times and were prepared to give up on their last try when it happened-

A steady breeze built up to a strong wind and then went to a gale force. It did not sweep across the room but around them. Round and round it went like a hurricane with them right in its eye. Lily reached out and gripped James's hand in one hand and Peter's in the other. They ended up forming a ring around the hearth with Brent still in it. Their cloaks flapped violently around them, Lily's hair tearing about her head in a wild torrent of red. Never had any of them seen such a violent reaction to a spell. The wind gripped them and tore at their lungs leaving them breathless until-

-All of a sudden it died down. Silence rang in their ears and they stared at each other wide-eyed. Had it worked? Where was Sameth? Peter looked white even in the yellow light of the flames. Lily released his hand because he was squeezing it too hard but kept a hold of James for reassurance. A full minute passed. Nothing in the room had changed. Each pot stood in the shadows and there wasn't a single trace of the freak tornado that had almost ripped them off their feet just seconds before.

"Now that was a bit of an anti-climax." Sirius said shakily, even he had been a little unnerved. "Peter, you can let go of my hand now-"

Lily jumped with a scream as something slammed into the door on the other side-

**A/N:** Did it work? Keep reading people and I'll keep writing! Thank you!!!! xXx


	25. What A Bad Idea

**TO: **Taiyourshoes, James definitely likes Lily but I think he's reached the stage where he's not even sure it would happen and I guess he's kind of realizing that his life at Hogwarts isn't what the whole world revolves around. He's trying too hard to mature but he's not realizing that he's a lot more mature than what he gives himself credit for. At the same time I didn't want him to be too mature so there will be times when he's being stupid. Confused? Yeah me too! And I'm supposed to be the one writing about him!

**TO:** Ember marieclaire, Wow, you from Australia! Even cooler! How can you say your guys aren't cute??? Hehe, as for Yoanna, trust me she will be back. She's got more to do yet...

---

A split second passed and it slammed into the solid wooden door again. The rounded metallic opener shook against its hook and the group flinched back as something threw itself bodily at the door again.

"I told you it was a bad idea!" Peter screeched, his back pressed against the far wall. "Never mess with the dead! That door isn't going to hold!"

"Calm down Wormtail! The door will hold!" James was right. The heavy door wasn't even shaking in its frame and it was going to take a lot of force to make it budge an inch. There was no denying that the sound of the barraging would argue otherwise but it was the acoustics of the stone room that magnified the crash of impact.

"Let me in!" Came a muffled sob followed by weaker thuds of someone hitting the wood with their fist. Sirius flew to the door at once while James grabbed the Marauders' Map that lay forgotten on the floor.

Brent joined Peter at the back wall. "ARE YOU CRAZY? You can't open the door!" he squeaked, his usual confidence had burnt away and now he looked more frightened than Peter. "No!"

"It's Rosie!" James dropped the map and went to help Sirius undo the extra bolts and locks they had put on the door.

"But what if it isn't her!" Brent protested.

James shot him a look. "The map never lies."

Rosie continued to scrabble at the door on the other side sobbing. As soon as a gap appeared she slipped in and threw herself at the door again.

"Hurry!" she croaked and fumbled needlessly with the locks. The Marauders were always thorough and they had made sure the door had an automatic locking system as soon as it closed.

"They're all locked." Sirius began but still she continued in her frenzied panic. "Rosie!" he grabbed by her wrists.

"It came _alive!_" she whispered chillingly. Her dark eyes had taken a haunted look and she cast them fearfully about the dim room.

Sirius gripped her elbows. "_What_ came alive Rose?" Everyone stood in baited silence while she just stared back at Sirius with wide eyes. Sirius could not recall having ever seen someone so terrified. He was literally holding her weight as if her legs were threatening to give way and she seemed like she might be going into shock. "Rose!" he shook her again but she just opened her mouth unable to form coherent words.

"_It_!" She emphasized her hands suddenly in action. "_IT_!" she clenched her right hand and then splayed out her fingers.

Lily fidgeted with a lock of hair nervously watching Rosie's mime. What was it that scared her so much she couldn't even say it? She could see the others were as lost as she was at whatever it was she was trying to convey with her hands. Remus was also crouching beside Rosie now and Peter remained pressed against the wall with Brent. James had back off some way and he returned Lily's worried look.

Still confused and well on her way to being scared, Lily focused in Rosie again. Her hand was still clawed and she was close to tears as she moved her fingers to create a creeping motion-

The Hand! The hand of Sameth the Great! Lily felt her heart skip a beat and horror flooded her. They had performed a Calling, something they improvised to call the spirit to them, but what if they hadn't called his spirit and instead the spell had reached for the part of him that was most easily accessible? Lily felt her stomach coil at the thought of the rest of his mummified body crawling out of the grave...

A faint hint of movement caught her attention and Lily instinctively snapped her head back as something that seemed like all legs flew at her. It twisted to clutch at the ends of her hair but dropped away onto the floor unable to get a grip. Lily uttered a soft-startled cry and fell back landing heavily. She was moving instantly, her eyes straining to see the crawling horror make its way to her. Light from the hearth cast a garish glow on the severed limb that was very much alive. Like some sort of bizarre insect it dragged itself with amazing speed that matched her rapid back pedaling on the floor. With a thud her back hit one of the large terra-cotta pots and without thinking she shoved it straight onto the mummified hand before it could jump on her.

The heavy pot fractured into chunky pieces and a broken bit covering the Hand quivered. Lily yelped as hands slid around her and hoisted up. Torn between relief that it was James and the need to stampede over the remains of the pot Lily was pulled back towards the hearth before she could make a choice.

"The Hand! We've Called his hand!" Lily cried desperately.

James nodded tightly. "Get over here!" He barked to Peter and Brent. Peter edged to them straight away while Brent remained frozen where he was shaking uncontrollably. He had seen _it_ just as it had emerged from the top of one of the pots and jumped at Lily. No way was he going to move. He _couldn't_! "Come here!" James repeated, his wand drawn. Remus and Sirius also had their wands out.

"I can't! It'll get me!" he managed to say.

"Get here now! Don't make me go over there to get you! Or you'll find your hand joining that one!" Sirius hissed in a low voice. With effort Brent eased away from the wall and took a few timid steps before running to join the group.

Rosie resisted the urge to whimper now that _it_ was locked in the same room as them. The initial shock to find the dead hand come to life had passed and she was now as alert as any of the others. The fear hadn't lessened but at least she wasn't as terrorized as she had been in her flight down the corridors. The others would ask questions of course but she wouldn't need to deal with that until after they dispose of the hand.

James pointed his wand to the two corners he could see knowing that Sirius and Remus were doing the same with the other corners. His eyes were in constant motion, darting from shadow to shadow searching everywhere. The whole room was fraught with promises of threat. Nothing moved; the shattered pot lay motionless and there weren't any sounds other than the cracking fire and their breathing in the chilled room.

"The door." He whispered. As one they shuffled towards the exit careful not to turn their backs against emptiness.

Lily felt more exposed then ever, the hair on the back of her neck stood on end. She was the first to reach the door and she started to unlock it immediately. They had put an anti _Alohomora _spell on it earlier thinking that they were being extra careful but now it seemed they had been extra stupid.

James continued to sweep his eyes over each pot while silently cursing. "We need more light!" he muttered and then almost slapped his forehead. They were in the Room of _Requirement_. "That's it! We need LIGHT!" Bright white lights appeared in rows around the walls illuminating the whole room in blinding proportions.

"Gah! Less light!" he shouted almost immediately and they all dimmed once again. Blinking away the black dots James swore that he saw something perched on top of on of the pots and he continued to blink rapidly until that _something_ pounced straight at his face. With a cry he threw a stunning spell at it but missed. He ducked taking Lily down with him. The hand hit the door with a faint clunk causing them to disperse. James, Lily and Brent ran to the left side of the hearth while Remus, Sirius and Rosie went to the other side. Peter remained close to the door.

"Oh MY GOD! IT'S A MOVING HAND! I'M GOING CRAZY. IT'S A SEVERED HAND! A DEAD HAND!" Brent rambled, his voice increasing in volume with each word.

"Where is it? Where?!" Sirius shouted over Brent's hysterics while pulling Rosie aside. The hand hit the floor and bounced once before scuttling back off to the shadows. Once again the room was too dark to make out anything.

"THIS ISN'T HAPPENING TO ME! IS NOT! I WILL NOT BELIEVE IT! DEAD HANDS DON'T MOVE! WHERE'S THE BODY?!?!"

"Will you SHUT UP?!" Sirius yelled back and Brent reduced his volume but continued his irrational talking.

"Moderate light!" Remus called out and the room brightened. "We need some sort of reversal spell!" Lily marvelled at Remus' rational thinking. In her panic she had only been concerned about getting away and it hadn't even occurred to her.

James racked his brain for the right spell. He knew it was a variation of the _Priori Incantanto_ spell but all of a sudden he couldn't quite remember the words. _Priori Incantito_? _Priori Incanta_? "_Priori Incantana_!"

The hand went wild; it leapt out from its hiding place on the other side of the hearth. Peter threw himself at the door and undid the remaining locks. Remus and Sirius were openly firing with their wands at the Hand now but it was impossibly quick and kept running behind the pots. Pot after pot broke as they either hurled it across the room or blasted it.

"It's didn't work!" Sirius let out a volley but still the elusive Hand ran. "Why didn't the spell work?"

"We repeated the spell four times!" Lily had her own wand out now but the target was proving too hard. At once they all began shouting the spell reversal charm. If possible the hand went ballistic and picked up speed.

Brent seized the opportunity to run out. He shoved Peter out of the way and was out through the door.

"Close that door!" James roared as a wide breeze swept in. Peter froze and the Hand darted through the small gap and disappeared down the hall. It was too late. Remus shouted the spell once more to complete it but the hand was already gone.

"Do you think it worked?" Lily ventured.

"It will." Remus replied flatly. "We need to find that hand."

"I hope it didn't." Sirius said quietly but loud enough for everyone to hear. "What?" he held up his hands innocently to their glares. "Allow it to chase down that annoying git."

"It's worked." Remus repeated. "The spell has been reversed. No body or body parts will be move any more. The spell is absolute the ones we cast earlier will be nulled." Out of all of them Remus had the broadest knowledge of spells and their effects, if he said it was absolute then she would believe him. Lily let out the breath that she had been holding and dropped to the floor with relief. What a bad idea the Calling was.

As if reading her thoughts Sirius complained. "Whose bloody idea was this?"

"Don't you start Padfoot." James warned, Lily could tell that the usual banter was fast returning to the group.

"And what if I do?" Sirius replied automatically.

"If he were Tatty he'd be making fart noises right now. Now prizes to guess why she chose that particular sound." Remus quipped. Lily smiled. In a few minutes they would have leave to search for the hand but at least it would once again be dead..._right_?

---

**A/N:** Expect a teenie bit of fluff in the next chapter. I think Lily might catch on a thing or two.

How is Rosie going to explain herself out of this one? Why had the Hand chased her into the room? Questions and more questions!


	26. It Cannot Be

**A/N:** Oh no guys, there's going to be a bit in here that I know none of you will like...but it just had to be done. I know I said fluff but I never said that it was nice fluff...to be fair I did start out _intending_ for it to be nice but alas the outcome was not...

---

They decided that they would split into two groups to cover the search. Admittedly the search would have been quicker if they each took a direction and went solo, but none of them particularly fancied being by themselves in dim corridors after the whole Hand incident.

Sirius offered to escort Rosie back to her Common Room and Remus decided that he would go too and Sirius practically dragged Peter with them. James knew that the odd number of members in the two groups was not coincidental but he chose not to say anything and gave them the map.

"Whatever for?" Sirius asked. "The Hand doesn't show up on it."

Remus reached out and took the map. "We're not Head Boy and Girl. If we get caught I think we'd have a hard time arguing out of it. At least if they get caught they can just say they heard noises and were out to investigate."

"Oh, I get you. That's a good excuse. Why Remus I never realized how good you were at lying." Sirius battered his eyelashes purposely and Remus snorted.

"You set a good example."

Standing a little aside from the banter Lily watched James peer out through the door to check that all was still clear and they hadn't woken anybody up.

"I wonder if Brent is okay." She said aloud to no on in particular. James shrugged not really bothered about Brent in the least.

Overhearing her worry Sirius laughed. "Bent West? He's probably hiding in some closet quivering in his boots." Peter let out a peal of laughter. For once he could be marked for bravery and it was someone else that had taken off before he did. "Look, there's the annoying bastard." Sirius pointed to a labeled dot located in one of the dormitories. "He got back all right. Don't worry about him, he's probably packing his stuff getting ready to leave."

Lily frowned. "Still, I wish you wouldn't call him names like that. He's a Squib and hardly ever sees magic; back in the days when I thought I was just a Muggle I probably would have run off screaming."

"Yeah but remember who his parents are. Pah! If he don't see magic with parents like that then he must turn a very big blind eye." Sirius crossed his arms. "And back when you were a Muggle you were just a kid you'd be expected to run and scream. In fact it would be your duty to do so."

"Just like it's your duty to get moving." James intervened before it could turn into an argument. Sirius opened his mouth to continue but James cut him off. "Come on, get moving or I'll lock you in a room with Tatty."

"Yeah, well if you try that you are going to be one dead man." Sirius grinned and ushered Rosie out. "So, care to explain how why that thing was chasing after you?" he asked growing serious when the door had shut behind them.

---

James closed the door. They would wait a minute or two before they would leave just in case. They couldn't be too careful when out and about at night, especially with Snape taking it upon himself to patrol the grounds. There was also Filch and Mr. Cronks of course but Snape managed to notch the irritation factor up by a few marks.

Lily paced the area near the door still not quite daring to venture further into the room even though it was sufficiently lit up now. She had a feeling she would never feel quite the same about being along in the dark neither and a moving dead hand had definitely reached first place in her scheme of dislike. Lost in her jumbled thoughts Lily jumped when a hand landed on her forearm. She stared at it noting that it was long fingered and strong looking, absolutely nothing like the mummified hand of Sameth. Her eyes traveled up the hand and then the arm and shoulder before coming to a rest on James' face.

"We should get going now." He informed her. Wordlessly she followed him out and for a while neither of them spoke. They had fallen into a companionable silence that continued throughout their search. With eyes low they scanned the gray flagstones under the whispering fire on mounted torches.

"You seem to know the castle very well." Lily commented after a while. Even though this was her seventh year Lily could just as easily get lost in the vast castle as any first year and only truly knew the well trodden paths to lessons.

"I have a rough idea where most places are but for the whole layout we need all four of us together."

"When do you guys ever find time to sleep? I mean, it must take a lot of night time exploring to be able to make the Marauders Map." Lily was impressed in some ways at their dedication to be Messrs. and for once she was able to appreciate the effort it took, especially since having taken part in increased night excursions she hadn't been sleeping very well lately.

James chuckled. "During lessons."

Lily clicked her tongue disapprovingly but smiled, "Is there anywhere in the castle that you lot haven't been?"

James rubbed the back of his neck thinking hard. "Well, sure. The girl's dormitories of course."

"I should hope not!" she cried but then added slyly. "But I take it that that doesn't mean no attempts have been made.

"Well..." He began sheepishly.

"I knew it!"

"Sirius reckons that it can be done, just have to be persistent enough but usually after a fall or two it's very hard to ignore the pains and aches. It'd be a lot easier to just wait for the girl to chose to come down."

"I bet that didn't settle too well with Sirius."

"Not really but even he has to admit defeat especially to a flight of stubborn stairs." James surprised himself. Why did he never listen to himself? Hadn't he been as stubborn as Sirius in the past few years? He was determined to get Lily to date him and Sirius was equally determined to get up those stairs to see a current girlfriend. There were many similarities between the two goals but even Sirius had all but given up now...

Once again they fell into a comfortable silence but this time James could not help but brood over himself, it bothered him that maybe he had turned a blind eye to reasoning in his childishness.

With both of them lost in their own thoughts they made their way around until it became obvious that something was wrong. They had followed the whole length of the corridor that led directly to the Room of Requirement and had even gone beyond and still there was no sign of the Hand. Lily turned to James. "How many times did we say that reversal spell?"

"Definitely more than four times." He replied. With so many of them all shouting it they had most certainly have undone more than just the Calling spell. "More than four even before it escaped." Lily could see that he wore a grim expression. This was not good. Some spells took some time to take effect but the Reversal spell was not one of them; that Hand should have been rendered motionless even before it had a chance to run out! Could severed limbs think for themselves? Surely not! Yet when they began to cast the Reversal spell it had gone mad as if trying to escape.

The darkness began to unnerve her and she looked over her shoulder to the empty flickering corridor behind. When she turned back again James was gone!

"James!" A piece of armor to her right clanked.

"I'm here."

"What are you doing?" Lily approached the rusty suit or armor flooded with ghost stories about moving armor and clanking chains. James had his arms around the stand that the metal rested on and heaved it aside.

"You hear that?" he asked pushing some hair away from his forehead.

Lily listened but couldn't hear anything special. "Just a bit of wind." She said not quite sure what significance there was to what she heard. James was on his knees now peering at what looked like a gap made by a bit of missing stone.

"But can you feel the wind up there?"

Lily raised her head for a second and then realized what he was getting at. She could _hear_ the wind but the cool air in the corridor was almost completely still.

"The wind is coming from down here."

Lily lowered herself to the ground and a breeze that smelt of mold blew out from the hole greeted her face. "Oh no." Lily gasped, the full implication sinking in. For air to displace in a hole it must lead somewhere and with the strange architecture of the castle the Hand could be anywhere. "Maybe it ran down a hole and then the spell worked?" she offered optimistically.

"Maybe." James replied but he did not sound very convinced. "It would be good if it did, but if not I'm sure we'll be hearing students scream about it soon enough."

Lily nodded, at least then the teachers would deal with it. The thought was almost comforting but- "James!" She cried out when she spotted James with his sleeve rolled back and sticking his wand hand into the gap.

"It's okay, I just wanted to know how deep this thing goes. _Lumos._" The wand inside the hole flared up and revealed very little. James pushed his arm further in until his shoulder hit the edges.

"Take your arm out! Please!" Lily tugged the sleeve of his cloak. Had he never seen horror movies? Sticking your arm anywhere was always a very bad idea.

"Wait, I just want to see if I can see anymore." He grunted and swiveled his arm about and pushed his face against the gap. The small tunnel led deep into the wall and curved sharply away after about a metre.

"_Jamie_!" Lily pleaded. She was convinced something in there would bite his arm off. "Come on!" She hooked her elbow around his free arm and pulled forcefully. James allowed himself to be pulled away and sat up confused. Had Lily just called him _Jamie_? Not noticing anything amiss, Lily scrunched her nose and pointed at the trail of black webbing that he'd dragged out along with him arm. He quickly scraped the sticky stuff on the foot of the armor and wiped his wand off on his trousers.

He unconsciously rumpled his hair. "Did you just call me Jamie?" No one other than his Mother ever called him that and it had sent a pleasant feeling up his spine at the familiarity. He must have heard wrong he decided. Being called James by Lily was a huge improvement already; being given a familiar name was unimaginable.

Lily looked startled. "Did I?" She did not notice the pronounced effect she had just had on him and instead, became preoccupied by surprising thoughts of her own.

"Ah, it doesn't matter." James scruffed up more hair and swiftly stood up. "Here," he offered Lily his hand. "We should get back. The Hand is probably long gone if it can still move." Lily nodded and took his offer and stood up.

Lily watched James maneuver the suit of armor back to its original position. It was most likely a slip of the tongue she thought. It was a habit that she found hard to break. Maybe James did not appreciate being called Jamie? She would have to be careful not to call him that again.

---

Remus walked on with them keeping at a polite distance but listened all the same while Peter trailed a little behind with the map. Sirius however, hovered right by Rosie's side so that his immediate presence demanded an answer.

"I think somebody has a little confession to make." Sirius said his voice completely void of the humor it had held earlier. "You know, we always thought the culprit that attacked Yoanna was a he but you've just made me realize that he could also be a _she_." Remus stiffened. What was Sirius trying to suggest?

"What?!" Rosie angered at the hinted accusation. They had all stopped walking now and Sirius walked a few steps away and leant against the wall with his arms crossed. He had assumed an air of coldness and a haughty and even patronizing smile played across his handsome features.

"Please don't be coy with me, Rose _Amiral_." He emphasized. "You know, I've been thinking," He started afresh.

"Wouldn't that be a first?" she retorted.

"I've been _thinking_, a lot of things don't add up-"

"Oh, you can add now? I was beginning to wonder." She snapped.

"Look if you wish, you may insult my intelligence after I'm done with what I have to say, at least then I might care to be hurt." Sirius countered still as cold as ever. Rose said no more and he continued. "I admit I was slightly curious at bumping into you the night Yoanna got attacked. You're not as good at lying as you may think and one excuse used over too many times is a dead give away."

"Just spit it out, Black." The terrified and speechless Rosie they had seen earlier was nowhere to be seen. All that was left was a dark eyed woman that radiated defensiveness.

Not rushed at all Sirius took his time explaining. "Don't think I didn't notice you cradling your side or just maybe you were hiding something under your cloak?" he suggested. "Now correct me if I'm wrong, but we've figured that_ He_ wants something and that something is the Hand." This was where Sirius took the huge jump that even he was unsure of although his cool exterior did not falter for a second. He deliberately left the identity of _He_ open in case she might give it away herself. "First _He_ used Lily to get it but she unexpectedly threw it away and Yoanna unknowingly picked it up. Controlling Yoanna proved to be more difficult than expected so _He_...let's just say asked you to retrieve it?"

Rosie burst into laughter unexpectedly. "Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!" her body shook with laughter. "That's _absurd_!"

Remus had had enough of being a silent spectator and stepped in now that he understood Sirius' suspicions. "You confirmed that you had the hand yourself tonight. I bet you weren't expecting us to make a Calling. Wasn't it a surprise when the Hand came to life in your very own pocket?"

Her laughing subsided and she looked at Sirius challengingly. "Yes, I had the Hand." Remus let out a sharp breath and looked away disgusted. "But I did not attack Yoanna." Sirius snorted at that but he let her finish. "I'm not denying that I had an idea that something was up especially when I kept running into Lily and she was sleep walking. You've seen what they can do." She said specifically to him. "The blank look, the way they lose control and have almost no memory afterwards." As much as Sirius didn't want to know he did know what the Followers of the Dark Lord could do. "I knew from then that Lily was to be used for a puppet of some sort and so I started going out every night. It was only a matter of time until her purpose was revealed."

"How...noble of you." Sirius said, his sarcasm almost impossible to detect.

"And it did, when we were in the woods she got the Hand from the grave. I didn't and still don't know what the Hand is for but I do know that it's important to whomever it was that wanted it so badly. I didn't know that she threw it away and I certainly didn't know that Yoanna picked it up although it was easy to tell after and if not it was certain when she had that nightmare."

"So you attacked her?" Remus said bitterly.

"No! That night Sirius saw me I was on my way to confront her about it but before I even got there someone ran past me and I chased him and when I tried to hex him he accidentally dropped the Hand. That is how I came to be in possession of it."

"And you started to have the nightmares ever since then." Sirius added from recalling a comment Jacob had made on her ill sleeping patterns. "What a happy ending!" he exclaimed mockingly.

"That is how it was. I've wasted my time explaining to you and you can either believe it or not. It's entirely up to you."

"You must see how I find it such a challenging task to believe you are entirely innocent Rose _Amiral_. Especially after all the things I've heard about your family."

"I hear many things about you family too, Sirius _Black_. But do they apply to you? I should very much worry for all your Muggle born friends if they were. And do you really think Dumbledore would let a spy from the Dark Lord carry out his deeds right among his students?"

"Dumbledore is a great wizard, but he cannot be everywhere or know everything at the same time." Sirius replied darkly. "And if it's as you say the culprit is someone else he or she is still seems to have a pretty full run of the school don't you think?"

Rosie considered his words carefully. "You're right."

Sirius feigned shook. "Excuse me! I'm what?"

She glared at him through narrowed eyes. "You're right. Whoever it is he's manipulating students right under Dumbledore's nose."

"And for what reason do you think he would be interested in doing so?"

Remus didn't need Rosie's answer to know this one. "People have always said that Dumbledore is the only one wizard He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named fears and even Brent's parents sent him here for protection. Maybe he's finally deciding that he wants Hogwarts to fall." Peter gulped and licked his lips nervously.

"Oi! Where are you going?" Sirius called after Rosie as she spun on her heel to leave.

"Back to bed. I'm sick and tired of trying to play hero." She replied and disappeared around the corner.

"Funny, I thought she was trying to play the villain." Sirius said and they watched her dot walk away on the map.

"I don't even know what to make of her." Remus sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Say, why didn't you confront her when we were all in the room?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Can you imagine Lily hearing all of this first hand? I think she might have gone berserk and made the interrogation that much harder. I was still guessing myself at the time."

"Really? I thought you had rock solid proof by the way you were talking."

"It is called bullshitting. It's an art, honest, you should give it a go one-day Moony."

---

They walked on in what felt like an awkward silence, the amiable companionship seemed to have lifted on Lily's behalf and she pondered over why she suddenly felt strange towards James. She felt very aware of her surroundings; everything felt heightened by the nervousness that had descended on her all of a sudden. She sneaked a quick look at James from the corner of her eye wondering if he felt that anything was wrong, but he seemed perfectly fine. _Damn it!_ Why did she have to call him Jamie?

"James?" Lily swallowed thickly. He looked down at her with one eyebrow raised. Lily had to resist the urge to reach up and brush some hair away from his eyes-

-Where in the world did that come from?! Lily could feel herself go red and she turned away well aware that he was still waiting for her to continue. "Uh, nothing." Sensing that there was something wrong he pulled her to a stop.

"Is there something wrong?" his brows creased and once more Lily found herself touched by his concern.

With a mental slap she straightened her back and replied as evenly as she could. "No, everything is fine." She started walking again and James followed suit with his hands in his pockets.

If anything he was more convinced now than ever that there was definitely something wrong but he all he could do was wonder because she wouldn't tell him. _Wonder_. That's all he seemed to do when she was around. Wonder if she happy, wonder if she was sad, wonder if she was annoyed with him, wonder if she merely tolerated him. The list was simply endless. She had never been particularly expressive towards him if it didn't involve insults and lately she hadn't even been doing that. It was disheartening and although he would prefer not to think about it he could not ignore the possibility: maybe it was time to let some things go, after all, as he had been telling himself over and over; now was not the time.

Feeling that he'd put his wondering mind to a rest James shoved his hands deeper in his pockets and only spoke again to say good night once they had reached the common room.

Lily watched him go up the stairs two at a time until he disappeared at the top. Lily Evans, what is _wrong_ with you? She silently asked herself but still she lingered for a while longer wondering a little at the spot where he had stood.

---

**A/N:** Gasp! Don't hurt me! I know that's cruel but I just couldn't resist putting a twist in their relationship. Yes, Lily is starting to feel that queasy-oh-my-god-I'm-attracted-to-him feeling and James is starting to turn away. Part of the reason I put it in was because it seems so rare in L/J fics and the other part is because stuff rarely happens that easily in real life anyway. But I assure you guys before I get hate mail that James is still very much...dare I say it? In LOVE with Lily although he doesn't say those three little words to her for a while yet.

And wasn't that some fat chunk in the middle? Rosie, what are they going to do with her?


	27. Not So Bad

**A/N:** Oh dear, I've made unhappy readers...oopsie. James has changed a lot from the first chapters don't you think guys? I mean in Chapter Two he's very determined to get Lily to like him because it's their last year, in Chapter 14 & 15 he changes a little because of his Dad and the Hearing and now he's moved on a little more. He's still very attracted to Lily but I'm trying to show that there is more to him than just liking Lily. I've just happened to decide that Lily unfortunately begins to realize that she's attracted to him too when he feels he should have more responsibility and move on. Following that thought I don't think James was frustrated in the last chapter. He's starting to think that some things just cannot be. (Aww!) And because he's kind of stupid in a sweet way, he isn't aware that Lily is starting to like him and she does a very good job of hiding it. That's kind of my interpretation of it anyhow. I hope I haven't disappointed too many readers and you guys will continue to read and hopefully enjoy the rest of the story! xXx

By the way, this chapter wasn't really intended but since I'm such a poo writer I seem to have confused a great deal of people and I think I should try to clear things up a bit. Although I can say that the characters are probably as confused as readers at this point because they certainly don't know anymore than you guys at the moment. For those people who are finding my explanations repetitive I apologize!

**TO**: ember marieclaire, rain got chucked on me by the bucket load today, trust me, you do not want to live in UK. Very wet! I promise to try to stick more James/Lily conversations in. They've just reached that awkward stage.

---

The Marauders sat with their heads low and shoulders hunched over pieces of parchment. Occasionally they would pick up a quill and rapidly scribble a line or two and often they would look serious while perusing their notes. At least to any outsiders they would look as if hard at work. Upon closer inspection one would realize that they were hard at work but none of it was in the least academically related.

James twisted his quill between his fingers before he leant down to write again.

_Prongs: You saw how fast that thing moved, it must have slipped in when Rosie ran in. I wouldn't have noticed it in the dark._

No sooner had his inky letters dried, duplicates of the exact same words magically appeared on each of the other three pieces of parchment in front of the other Marauders.

_Moony: Most likely._

Came the reply that appeared underneath his sentence in Remus' neat writing. The charmed pieces of parchment had been infinitely useful to them and had served well when they had needed to communicate during lessons and talking was not possible like today for instance. The Potions Master had separated them from each other to avoid any hassle, he'd strategically placed each of them among students he thought would not allow them to get into trouble with. However, he'd made the mistake of placing James two seats away from Snape. As a result James had to keep his left arm permanently crooked over his parchment to prevent Snape from sticking his hooked nose over.

James looked over to his left and there he was, leaning uncomfortably close to the poor girl stuck between them trying to figure out why James had become so studious all of a sudden. He stared at James piercingly and James returned it with a cold glare before hunching over his desk more. An untidy scrawl began to appear under Padfoot's name on his scroll.

Sirius scribbled his confrontation with Rosie in as few words as he could and only paused briefly to look up at her once. She must have sensed his gaze because she tensed but refused to look in his direction.

_Prongs: Hold up! Are you trying to say that Rosie attacked Yoanna?_

_Padfoot: She says she didn't but she does admit that she had the Hand._

_Prongs: What ever would she want with it?_

_Padfoot: Beats me, your guess is as good as mine mate. What do you think that thing does Moony?_

_Moony: To be honest I really don't know, I'm more worried about why the Calling caused such a violent reaction. As far as we know that Reversal spell might not have worked but there's no reason for it not to work. _

_Prongs: You know that rock in Bent West? Thins the boundaries doesn't it? What if it's presence thinned it out too much?_

_Moony: Could be._

_Padfoot: I knew that silly Squib was more trouble than he is worth._

_Wormtail: Guys, do you think that Rosie could be...a Death Eater?_

_Padfoot: I wouldn't write it off._

_Moony: She certainly seems to know a lot more than she's letting on. I think we are going to need to speak to her again._

A few minutes passed and none of them wrote anything each lost in their own confusion. Sirius had always suspected that there were spies of the Dark Lord in the school and it seemed now that he might be right and he or she or whoever they were was wreaking havoc. Somehow, everything was tied but none of them could quite put a finger on it. The dreams, Yoanna's attack, the Hand and maybe even Brent!

The lesson did not seem to want to end but finally it did and James scraped all of his parchment, ink pot and quill into his bag. He headed for the doors but someone called out his name.

"James! Wait up!" Lily pushed her way out of a throng of people and stopped where he stood waiting. Sirius, Remus and Peter had already gone ahead to catch up with Rosie and he couldn't even signal to them. "Are you busy or something?" She asked hesitantly.

James glanced down the corridor and then back. "Urm, not really." Sirius was right, he decided. Getting Lily involved would complicate things especially since she was so protective of her friends. He stood there waiting for Lily to say what she had to say but seconds dragged on and she didn't seem like she was going to talk. Instead she continued to wring the end ends of her hair in her hands and twisted awkwardly on the spot.

Lily rummaged about for something to say and was ready to back off when she noticed that James looked peculiar, like he was caught in the middle of wanting to do something.

"Are you up to something?" she blurted abruptly losing her strange behavior and assuming her usual self a bit more.

"What? Me? Of course not Evans!" Finding her a bit bizarre James pasted his I'm-so-innocent face on. "Why would you think that?"

Lily narrowed her eyes at him and glared closer at him and he leaned back to avoid her until he could feel his spine protesting. "You've got that _look_."

"What look?" James backed away and straightened his back.

"That same look you had when you planted a smoke bomb in the classroom to get out of class two months ago."

"Smoke bomb?" James racked his brain for the incident but there had been so many involving bombs of all sorts that he could not recall it.

"What are you planning?" she jabbed at his chest lightly drawing what James thought was dangerously close again. She was like a lie detector he knew he could not physically or mentally pass.

Someone behind them cleared their throat and James thought that he had never been so pleased to see McGonagall before. "Mr. Potter and Miss Evans, care to come with me to my office?" It was not an invite nor even a question but an order. She turned on her heels and walked away expecting them to follow without a question. And follow they did. It felt like they had done something wrong and she was going to pile on the punishment. James and Lily exchanged a glance. She's _found_ the Hand. She must have! Or at least it had made an appearance and terrorized people.

The door slammed behind them once they were in her office.

"Take a seat." She commanded and sat down opposite them. They sat and prepared themselves to face the worst but to her surprise McGonagall's facial muscles relaxed. "You will be pleased to hear that Miss Sunbury is doing fine. She will be fit enough to return to us at the start of the next term." Lily welled with relief, it was less than a week to Christmas holidays and maybe she could go visit her before she came back!

"That's very good news." James said but he did not look as elated as Lily. Yoanna was going to come back with a lot of answers and he was sure there were a few that they would not like. Whether Rosie is guilty or not all would be clear with her return.

"I've got more good news." McGonagall announced and beamed at him. "Dumbledore is on his way back to Hogwarts." James tensed and sat bolt up straight in his chair with suspense. "The Hearing went smoothly and your Father is fine. He's been released without charges. I suspect that you will have an owl waiting for you with the good news when you return to the hall." Lily could see the tension leave James' body and it made her want to cheer on his behalf.

When they left the office Lily could see that James was still wearing a wide grin and she wouldn't have been in the least surprised if he suddenly broke out into song and danced. Well, actually she would have been rather _shocked_ but still, that was how she felt.

"Things are starting to look up don't you think?" she grinned up at him.

He returned her grin. "You know, everything doesn't seem so bad anymore." He surprised even himself when he reached down and circled his arms around her in a happy embrace. Lily let out a soft gasp but her arms reacted on their own accord and hugged him back. It was a happy moment for both and there really was _nothing wrong_ with hugging a _friend_, she tried to tell herself. Still, the solid and comfortable feeling she had had in his arms stayed with her and she could not help but smile for the rest of the day.

---

**A/N**: Wow, turned out quite unexpected!


	28. Poke In The Eye

**A/N:** You guys scared me so much! I thought that my story had gone to pots so badly that nobody wanted to review no more! WHOO HOO!!! Thank you MissMrprk for giving my hundredth review!

**TO**: Rieux, thank you for your lovely reviews. I know it will be a while before you catch up on the reading and read this message, but all the same, I just wanted to thank you for your encouraging words because they do wonders!

**TO**: Taiyourshoes, Brent did escape in the Calling. The Hand ran out after he did.

---

"He's been grinning like a fool for days!" Sirius complained as he shoveled some food into his mouth.

"That's because he got close Lily." Remus said with a surprisingly wolfish grin.

James' head snapped up and he almost choked on his coffee. "How did you know about that?!" he demanded.

"Easy, you were bragging in your sleep."

"How _close_?" Sirius interrupted, keen on the subject. "And how come I haven't heard him bragging?"

"You snore too loud to hear anything." Remus answered seriously.

"I do not snore!" Sirius protested indignantly. "And don't change the subject, how _close_?" Peter also leaned in eager to listen.

"You are such a bunch of nosy old women!" James turned his back to them and bit off a large chunk of his toast but became quickly disturbed upon hearing exaggerated kissing noises that Sirius was making at his fork.

"You've got no standards. Go find yourself a room!" James said, inwardly resigned to the fact that he would be teased mercilessly until the novelty wore off.

"Whaaat?" Sirius replied lazily. "It's got legs- OW!" Lily had just walked past and had given James a small smile, and in his panic for not wanting her to overhear the crude joke he had whacked Sirius sharply around the head with his rolled up newspaper. "OW! She wasn't even within hearing distance Prongs!" Remus and Peter began to laugh uncontrollably as Sirius rubbed his head pretending to be hurt. "Besides, I was talking about the fork!" He brandished it about in the air before forking a bit of bacon. "So _how far_ did you go?"

"There was _no_ 'how far' at all. I just got caught up in a moment and I was _happy_." James sighed but managed to turn the action into clearing his throat without the others noticing. "It just seemed right and I hugged her."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Is that all? With the way you've been acting I would have thought you guys-"

"I _know_ what you've been thinking." James said pointedly and Sirius shrugged. "But it was nothing, she was just happy for me that's all."

"I don't know mate, I think if you had done that last year or even at the start of this year Lily would have picked the closest thing up and battered your skull in with it." Remus said offering insightful comments as usual.

"That would have been...ouch." Now that James came to think of it he had probably been very close to an early death when he had done that. He reached up and rubbed the side of his head, thankful that he still had it.

"I'm not trying to be overly optimistic but I think you might be getting somewhere. Maybe not wedding bells and choir yet but-" Remus continued.

"I don't think so somehow." James started.

"Are you kidding me? I should go out and buy myself a new set of robes for the wedding right now. I am going to be Best Man right? And I want to be Godfather to you first kid! Remus and Peter can wait for your second and third kid!" Sirius rubbed his hands together relishing the idea. "Oh the stuff I can teach that kid..." he mused.

"No! NO! Getting way ahead of yourself there! She's still barely tolerating me yet! And marriage? I'm eighteen! I can't even look after myself yet, let alone another person!"

"She'll look after you mate." Remus turned to Sirius and Peter and smirked. "I bet they'll be married soon after we graduate." He said getting a good feel of winding his friend up.

"Maybe even on the day!" Peter piped.

"My God Prongs!" Sirius exclaimed while James continued to shake his head. "Do you really want the obvious to poke you in the eye before you see it?" He jabbed his fork at him.

"The _only_ thing that seems remotely close to poking my eye is _your fork_ Padfoot."

However, Sirius seemed not to be listening. Instead his eyes followed Rosie who had just stood up and was leaving the hall.

"She still refuses to tell you any more?" James queried.

"Not even a squeak." Sirius muttered. He had made a point of questioning her at least once every day, sometimes trying to catch her off guard so that she may drop a hint or two but she never did. Her lips were truly sealed. Sirius was preparing to up their attention to her to a pestering level. She had to crack somewhere along the line.

"Forget it mate. Today's our last day, we leave in a few hours and we won't see her till January. By that time Yoanna will be back and we'll know the truth then." Remus reminded.

"And won't it be an ugly truth." Sirius said almost moodily. However the dark expression passed and a smile lit up his face instantly. "Lily dear!" He called, his eyes looking past James' shoulder. Confused James swiveled in his seat to greet her but found nobody standing there.

"Very funny." He said to the guffawing Marauders. He should have known better; Sirius would rather be caught dead than to call Lily _dear_ to her face.

Remus stopped laughing for a moment enough to smile and nod politely to the space behind James. "Hello."

James snorted. "I am not stupid despite what you may think Moony." He continued to eat and stubbornly refused to look behind and fall for the same trick again until someone gently cleared her throat from behind. James winced and silently vowed to get them back for it.

"HI EVANS!" he greeted before turning, deliberately enthusiastic to show the others that they hadn't fazed him one bit. He winced for a second time when he saw that the girl behind him was not Lily at all but a pretty Hufflepuff 6th year. "I'm sorry. Let me start that again. Hi Joey!" he corrected, ignoring the others whom was now quietly sniggering.

Joey tucked some of her strawberry blonde hair behind her ear nervously. She blushed under the hot stares of her Hufflepuff friends and the curious glances from the Gryffindor table, but mostly she blushed under James' questioning eyes.

"Hi."

"Hi." He said again.

"Today's our last day. Uh, I meant I just wanted...to wish you a Happy Christmas. Here." She withdrew a pink colored package that she had been holding behind her back and handed it to James. "I know it's early, but urm...I hope you like it."

"For me? Wow, thanks!" he turned the package around in his hands discerning that it was some sort of book.

Joey went a deeper shade of red. "It's actually from quite a few of us." She looked over to her table where her friends were suddenly looking not so interested and seem absorbed with looking not fussed and cool. James gave them a casual wave.

"Can I open it early?"

"Sure you can, but just not here."

"Okay, I'll open it on the train then." He said tucking it into his bag.

"I hope you'll like it." She repeated.

"I'm sure I will." He reassured.

Joey began to back off. "I guess I'll see you after the holidays then."

"Definitely." James returned his attention back to the others. Remus seemed amused and Sirius was positively smirking.

"How do you do that?" Peter said with a grown. "How come I don't get presents from hot girls?"

"Don't worry about it." Sirius replied.

"That's easy for you to say! You've got a mountain of presents from girls." Peter had not. and _could not_ miss the growing pile that Sirius always seemed to get.

"What can I say? I'm a ladies' man. Open it Prongs."

James shook his head firmly. "I said I wouldn't yet." Before Sirius could pester him more he stood up and quickly left the table. There was only a few hours left and he still need to pack his stuff back in the trunk.

He made his way back to the tower whistling to a tune he couldn't name and was interrupted by Brent pushing past him at such a speed that it had thrown him aside. Brent didn't even acknowledge that he had bumped into someone and continued to rush ahead. Where was the fire? James wondered. Brent had indeed made himself scarce since the Hand incident; in fact, many had thought he had left because he made such little appearances. He didn't even come down to the hall for meals anymore. The Hand must have traumatized him more than they had thought.

James shrugged and took a sharp left into an offshoot and took the stairs up two at a time. It was a route that not many people knew about and it cut the journey to the Gryffindor tower by minutes. He turned the last corner when he spotted someone crouched down on a worn down rug. Deep red hair fell about her shoulders and down her back.

"Hey Evans."

The real Lily looked up startled because she hadn't heard anyone approach. "Hey."

"What are you up to?" James took a few steps nearer to get a closer look. She was arranging a small little box wrapped in a brightly colored bow.

"Leaving Mr. Cronks a little something for Christmas." She replied almost guiltily.

"Whatever for?" he asked recalling the appearance of the stringy ugly cat.

"I don't think Filch will be giving him anything special for Christmas. I actually love cats, just not when they are trying to get me into trouble. Cronks will probably be as close as I get to owning one myself."

James didn't say anything. He thought Filch treated the cat very well actually. Once or twice he had seen Filch eat his dinner with Mr. Cronks eating off the same plate. It could not have been hygienic or very nice but it did show how fond the man was of his pet.

Lily stood up. "Anyways, what are you doing here."

"On my way to pack up." She scrunched her nose up suspiciously and James had to resist the urge to pinch it. He knew that if he had he would have paid dearly for it. "No, I really am going to pack. Not up to anything." He said solemnly. She studied him a second longer but lowered her accusing stare apparently satisfied that he wasn't lying. They started for the tower. "You have a lot of faith in me don't you?"

Lily shrugged. "You haven't given me a reason to have faith in you."

"You make me sound so undependable."

"No I think you are dependable." It was not hard to think of all the times that he had been there for her to depend on. It was not this that she doubted at all but a little part of her wondered how long it would last. Lily wasn't a fool and she definitely wasn't one of the other girls that would willingly fall on his lap. He'd dated other girls throughout the years but none of them had lasted and as far as she could see as a distant observer, he did not seem particularly in love with any of them.

Maybe it was this lack of attachment that worried her. As long as she could remember James had always been more of a prankster than anything else. The fact that he seemed so..._agreeable _lately was disconcerting. Deep down she knew she was scared. What if he did manage to get through her walls and under her skin completely? He might suddenly turned around and announce that he had only done it to see if he could. It would have been the _ultimate_ prank; one that she was not sure she could recover from.

"Now I'm confused." James stopped and Lily followed suit.

"Aww don't give me that look." She said. James wondered what look it was because he certainly didn't know. She raised her eyebrows. To him it was evident that she was either not seeing what there is to explain or not wanting to explain. He was guessing that it was the latter.

"So you don't have faith in me, but I'm dependable."

Lily nodded and they started walking again.

"I might understand that one day..." he said wistfully.

---

The train left promptly and it carried its loud and chattering cargo across lush scenery back into the heart of London. James had opened the present and found it not to be a book but a photo album compiled of photos of himself playing Quidditch.

"It must have taken a lot of effort." He noted. There were pictures of him playing the sport from as early as his second year. They spent a good half an hour poring over the pictures filled with him and the others. It was almost like a catalogue of numerous training sessions and particularly fantastic games Gryffindor had ever played with James on its team.

"Man, I looked like a geek." James said at a picture of him in his Quidditch robes with his glasses askew. It was a Muggle photo therefore he was still.

"You still do." Sirius laughed and then went on to exclaim, "I don't like the Muggle photos. Just look at that! That's favoritism! In most of these photos I've barely got a foot in!" Sirius pointed to an example of an offending photo.

"Quit complaining Padfoot. In the normal photo's your big self is fighting his way in anyway." Remus pointed to one of the magical photos where Sirius' photographic self had planted himself in the shot with a wide grin. "It is a present to James." He added mildly.

"A bloody tribute. I bet they have a shrine and everything."

"Jealous?" James reached over and grabbed a few chocolate frogs.

"No, why would I want people to worship me like I'm dead?" Sirius flicked an empty wrapper at him.

"At least they'd worship you." Peter said quietly. The others looked at Peter and he gave a small laugh. "I was just kidding." A violent round of Exploding Snap followed that drew the attention of quite a few people and before they knew it the long train was pulling into platform 9 ¾.

James was one of the first to get off and he spotted Lily struggling with her trunk. She had the door to her compartment and she was pushing in vain. Now that they had left the school they were no longer allowed to use magic hence the feather light spell could not be put to use.

"Here, let me help." James carried Lily's trunk off the train with a grunt of effort. What ever she had packed in it, it was very heavy and he hoped he hadn't ripped all his muscles moving it. He gratefully deposited it on a nearby trolley and turned to wait for her to catch up. However he could see that she was busy saying goodbye to her roommates and exchanging early Christmas presents. All the students were now crammed on the narrow platform and James decided it was best to meet her on the other side where there was much more room albeit it being packed with Muggles.

As inconspicuously as possible James casually wheeled the trolley towards the wide wall and went straight through. He stopped on the other side pretending to be inspecting a poster on the wall before moving away completely. Standing a little off he spotted a couple acting rather suspiciously around the wall. Curious he moved closer until he could overhear them.

"Try tapping it Dear." A middle-aged woman suggested to a man dressed in a crisp suit standing next to her. The man reached out and gave the wall that led to platform 9 ¾ an experimental tap but it felt solid as a rock.

"I know it would be nice to finally be able to meet her on the other side Dear, but I simply think that these type of walls just aren't made for us non magic folk to pass." The woman looked rather distressed and unhappy to James and he pushed the trolley closer.

"Excuse me, can I help you?" he offered politely.

They looked taken aback by his offer but the woman quickly shook her head. "That's very sweet of you dear, but no thank you." She said mistaking him for a Muggle.

Their surprise was nothing compared to the surprise that James felt however. The woman bore a striking resemblance to Lily and they shared the same shade of vibrant red hair and he could clearly pick out familiar features. She could not be mistaken for anyone else but Lily's mother and the man beside her with deep green eyes could be no other than her father.

James leaned in so passerby people wouldn't overhear. "If you would like to pass through the wall it's best to take it at brisk pace or lean into the wall. The key thing is that you have to expect to pass through it to get to the other side." He whispered. Surprised again, they thanked him and gently slid through the wall while James kept a look out for them.

Resuming his initial position James folded his arms and whistled a few nervous notes. He shook his head. Since when did he become nervous? He wished Sirius would hurry up and then they could make a move on back to his house. His mother would have a nice hot meal prepared for their return and he always looked forward to those. His eyes fell down to the trunk on the trolley in front of him. _Damn_. Even if Sirius did hurry up he would still have to wait until Lily came out so he could return her trunk. Even as he thought this Lily and her parents emerged and they approached him.

James unconsciously straightened his back and smiled. "Here you go Lily Goodbye!" He said without pausing and was ready to run away.

"Just a sec, young man, we haven't thanked you properly yet." James froze.

"Thanks for helping my Mum and Dad." Lily smiled and hooked her arm around her Mother's arm. "Mum, Dad, this is James Potter. We do Head duties together."

"Nice to meet you James." Her Father extended his hand which James took firmly.

"You too, Mr. Evans." He also nodded at her Mother. "Mrs. Evans."

"Please, call me Harry. And this is my wife Diane." Harry Evans said. James smiled politely but knew he would never feel right calling Lily's or anyone else's parents by their first names.

"Do you and Lily share many lessons together, James?" Diane asked.

"Most lessons." Lily answered, sensing her parents were going to do that embarrass-daughter thing.

"Do you like cheese cake?" Diane asked, seemingly out of the blue.

James almost said _what?_ But decided it sounded rude. "Urm, sure."

"That's good. I've just learnt how to make them in my cooking class. Care to come around one evening for a meal? You could try some after and give me some feedback."

"What?" James did say it then but quickly recovered. "That sounds lovely but-"

"We would _love_ to have you visiting." Diane said. That was it. James could not see how he could get out of it.

"I uh...would love to."

"Lovely!" Lily's parents exclaimed together. "We'll get Lily to send you our address and date later."

"Mum!" Lily was mortified at her parents.

"Good meeting you James. We hope to see you soon! We won't keep you now. See you soon!" her parents waved and wheeled away the trolley dragging Lily along.

"I can't believe you guys just did that! Dad! Say something!" Lily pleaded.

Harry laughed. "Of course I'm not going to say something. It'd be rather nice to have someone else being the lab rat for once. He seems like a nice enough lad. I don't see anything wrong with having him around for tea."

Diane clicked her tongue at the lab rat comment but agreed with the latter. "It would be nice to have a wizard visiting. I don't think we get to involved enough when it comes to your talents and your life away at school."

Lily shook her head. "Petunia isn't going to like this." She warned although secretly she was a little pleased and touched by the effort that her parents were making.

"She's just having a little trouble getting used to the idea that you're a witch."

"Shh! Mum, keep your voice down!" Lily looked around to see if anyone had overhead but nobody seemed to care even if they had. "She's had seven years to get used to it.

"She'll understand one day, dear."

---

Meanwhile James was suffering from another kind of shock. In his eyes stuff always went wrong when parents meddled with their children's lives whether they intended it or not. He still recalled the incident between his mother and his first girlfriend; even now it made him shudder to think about it. Now of all times he did not want parents to ruin the friendship that he and Lily shared because it might be all that would ever happen between them.

Sirius strode out from the wall carting both his and James' trunk. "What up mate? You look like you are going to hyperventilate." James quickly updated him.

"Damage is done." Sirius said gravely. James gave him a hard push that meant that that kind of attitude was not what he needed at that moment. "On the other hand. If they like you, it could work I guess." A wicked grin spread on his face. "You never know, that poke in the eye might come in the form of her parents." James returned his humor with a withering look.

---

**A/N**: A new character! I haven't quite decided what to do with her yet but I felt that she needed to be in there.

Lily has revealed a fear or two here. It was just something I imagined might cross a girl in her shoes' mind. Can you imagine how bad it would be if you'd fallen for a guy and he turns around and tells you that he was just messing about? Fortunately, we know James isn't like that. But the silly girl has just misread the fact that he's never been serious with a girl because she doesn't realize he really loves her. And YES, james must have dated before Lily because as much as you might like someone there are points when you think that it isn't going to happen and you move on...and then of course come back to it when you realize you haven't! Plus, James is a teenage boy, dating is a must.

I don't think Lily's parents had ever been named so I took the liberty of naming them and I've decided that in this story Harry Potter is named after Harry Evans. It's probably not true but what the heck? I make a lot of things up in this story so one more thing can't hurt.

Hehe, stay tuned for when James spends dinner at the Evans household.


	29. No Us

**A/N: **Yay! Reviews! I love you guys! This chapter was initially going to be one long chapter but after writing up till half way I decided to chop it and post the second half later as a separate chapter. Why? Because I'm evil!

**TO:** Taiyourshoes, you scared me for a bit! But I'm currently on 111 reviews and I counted back 11 and number 100 was definitely MissMrprk. Phew! And I want to thank you for recommending my story! Wicked!

---

Lily sat perched on the edge of Petunia's bed picking absentmindedly at the crispy white material. Petunia's bed was always immaculately made and the sheets were always pressed so straight that it felt almost stiff. The rest of the room also followed a similar pattern, everything was clean and dust free, even all her books were properly catalogued and placed on the shelf in order of size. Lily had long suspected that her sister suffered from a heavy dose of Obsessive Compulsive Behavior with neatness but she wasn't about to mention it, especially today of all days.

"Please, Petunia!" She pleaded. Petunia was sitting at her dressing table arranging her hair with a comb. Unlike Lily, she had not inherited the deep red hair from their Mother but the light brown from their Father. Neither did she have the green eyes but a light brown to match her hair. The two could not look more different from each one another, which was just fine with Petunia who preferred to think of herself as an only child.

Petunia looked down her nose to Lily in her reflection. Her eyes dropped to Lily's wandering hand on the sheets and Lily quickly snatched her hand up and stood up. Double checking that she hadn't left a crease on the sheets Lily pleaded again.

"It's just for tonight I promise. Please be nice to him."

"You're begging me to be nice to your boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend! He's just-"

"Then why is he so important?"

"I just don't want-"

Holding up a hand to stop her in mid sentence she said, "Actually, don't tell me, I don't want to know about it." Petunia's nostrils flared and she glared at Lily in her reflection. "I told you, I don't want anything to do with your..." she waved her hand in the air for lack of name to call it. "Your _freakiness_."

Lily sucked in some air, careful to remain calm. She was walking on a tight rope here and one hasty move and she could send the conversation into a full-blown argument. The last thing she needed was for her sister to be in a bad mood. "You won't have anything to do with it. All you have to do is sit through dinner and not make...any _comments_ on what you think of magic." Lily tried to pick her words carefully but upon hearing the word _magic_ Petunia blanched and looked around as if someone might overhear them in her room.

"Don't say that!" she snapped. "I told you not to say that word! I don't want people to think that we're all freaks! Some of us happen to be normal people you know."

Lily could feel herself grinding teeth. "Look Petunia, I've never had one of my..._special_ friends over before and I just want everything to go well tonight."

"And don't you start making a habit out of it!"

"I honestly wouldn't mind if you would prefer to go out tonight. Maybe go out with your boyfriend of something." Lily suggested.

Petunia let out a short high-pitched laugh. "You are not going to kick me out of my own house Lily. I'd hate to think what would happen if I weren't here! Mum and Dad might be blind to your- your _kind, _but I am not!" she lowered her voice fearing to be heard by others. "I've had a look at one of your supposed spell books." She hissed. "Everything in is it wrong! Incantations to make things float and to set things on fire! You're nothing but a destructive bomb that hasn't blown yet!"

Lily could feel herself getting angry. "You snooped in my room while I was away?" She was glad that she left nothing remotely important in her room while she was away. Petunia had probably just come across a grade two spell book or something.

"I'm just trying to protect us from _you_! Mark my words, I know that you will bring nothing but trouble to us!" Petunia stood up and wrenched open the door of her closet and rummaged for a cardigan.

"Hello _sister_! Us happens to include me too!"

"There is _no us_ when it involves you_ Lily_." She said coldly.

Lily could not remember since when the relationship between her sister and herself had gone so bad. There might have been a time when her older sister had adored her like a normal sister, but when she had proved just how far from normal she really was everything had gone sour. Yet her words still cut and Lily left the room trying very hard not to cry.

She wandered into her own room amazed that she had even tried to talk to Petunia about being on her best behavior. With a deep sigh she dropped to her bed which was covered with a thick squishy duvet and an assortment of comfortable cushions. A wind chime given to her by one of her friends sang solemnly in the slight breeze from her open window. It's gentle tinkering seemed somehow melancholy as Lily searched for comfort in the familiarity of her room and its contents.

In the corner closest to her door she had her wardrobe and beside that a dressing table and an old desk where all her books and quills lay scattered. Her emptied trunk stood in front of the desk waiting for her return to Hogwarts. Lily sniffed and decided that she would not feel bad because she could not expect anymore of Petunia, and also, if she didn't want to alarm her parents by coming to the table with red eyes.

James would arrive in less than half an hour and it was about time that she got ready anyway. The same anxiousness that had been plaguing her for the past week began to trickle back into her stomach. Why in the world was James Potter going to be coming to Lily Evan's house for dinner? She'd feel immensely relieved if he called or owled to cancel but at the same time she knew she might feel a bit disappointed if he'd done that. Dragging a brush through her hair she began to wonder again. Why had James accepted? Was he only coming because he felt pressured into coming? Most likely. Lily smiled to herself at the memory of James' scared face when her parents had cornered him. James had always been confident bordering on cocky and she had never seen him so nervous before...

Lily sighed again. She knew that the evening would only go in extremes tonight, Either it would be very good or it would go very bad. She was inclined to think it would go towards the negative but there was nothing left but to see.

Lily backed away from the mirror so she could get a full look at herself. Casual was best she decided and a minute later she inspected her reflection critically and straightened the wide shoulders of her white cashmere top and picked a bit of fluff off her jeans. It was only dinner and nothing overly important she convinced herself but went back to the mirror to inspect her applied mascara.

Next came the subject that she had not yet reached a decision for. She sat on her bed again with two wrapped boxes. Christmas was just around the corner and it seemed wrong if James did not receive a present although the same didn't quite apply to the other Marauders. She and James shared Head duties after all, she reasoned and that alone merited as a friend status and therefore a present was required.

However, choosing a present was much harder than anything she had encountered before. What would you buy for a person that already had everything he wanted? After spending many hours in Diagon Alley finishing off her present's list she had left his to last. Finally passing a book shop she had purchased a small book with interesting facts about Quidditch. Not quite satisfied that it was a suitable present, the book had haunted her for a few days before a better idea occurred to her. For the last few weeks at school she had hand knitted a scarf for her Dad as a Christmas present and just then it seemed like there was no reason that James wouldn't want a scarf too. Winter at Hogwarts was no by any means mild and she hadn't seen him wear one before...

Before she knew it she had a new roll of wool out and she was knitting as fast as she could, wishing she could use magic. Presented with the finished garment however her opinion had changed again. Wasn't something like a scarf a bit too personal? She could imagine it was a present for someone in the family or a boyfriend but to a friend? Maybe the book was a better idea... The problem of course was now that both were wrapped in identical boxes and covered in identical paper and she could not tell which was which. The book was thin and barely weighed more than the completed scarf and she had also padded it with tissue paper so it wouldn't rattle in the box so shaking it wouldn't help neither.

Without fully reaching a final decision Lily heard the distinctive _pop_ outside on her drive. Running to her window she leaned out just in time to see James hesitate at her front door. He was dressed nicely in dark jeans and a black shirt and with an odd thump in her heart Lily went down to open the door.

---

**A/N**: OOOOOOOOOO...Will Petunia ruin it? And which present will Lily give James?


	30. Hard To Accept

**A/N**: Cecilia Orechio brings up a very good point. I never did know what colour hair Petunia had so I made it up. I wanted to make her colouring almost non-descriptive to emphasise how plain she must have felt in comparison to Lily's vibrant red. I think she had a lot of jealousy issues as a kid and therefore took the extreme of hating Lily.

---

James decided to apparate to the Evans's house. He arrived with five minutes to spare and now he wished he hadn't. He paused at the front door wondering how he would survive the night. Under his arm he held a box of chocolates that his Mother had suggested for him to bring and in his hands he held two bunches of flowers. The flowers were suggested by Sirius; "Keep the ladies happy" he had said. The lilies would be given to Diane Evans and the roses for Lily. Sirius had thought it would be more suitable for the flowers to be given the other way around but James had thought it too corny to giver Lily lilies. He also had a present prepared for Lily but he thought it was best to leave it behind and make a special journey to get it towards the end of the evening due to the nature of the present.

With one last deep breath of the cold air he stepped up to the neat porch and pressed the doorbell. The front door opened straight away and Lily stepped out into the porch.

"Hi." She smiled and James felt his nervousness decrease marginally.

"Hi, I hope I'm not too early."

Stepping aside so that he could come in Lily replied, "No, you're right on time. Wow, thanks!" She took the roses that he offered to her. "I like roses." A fragrant aroma of dinner wafted out from the kitchen at the back of the house.

"James! I'm glad you got here all right!" Diane called from the kitchen. Lily ushered James into the hall and then into the kitchen where her Mum was busy stirring three pots in one go. Her Dad was washing up some of the used culinary tools because he had been termed "hopeless" at cooking by his wife. "Hello, dear." Diane greeted him giving him a welcoming kiss on the cheek.

"Hello." James said shyly and gave her the bunch of lilies and the box of chocolates. "That's so sweet of you! I love lilies!"

"As if he didn't know!" Harry rolled his eyes with humor and turned them with interest at the chocolates.

"What was that dear?" Diane asked her voice still musical and sweet yet sounded threatening at the same time.

"Nothing, I was just mumbling to myself." He said quickly. "Come sit!" Harry pointed to the kitchen table, which was laid out with plates already with his soapy hands. James sat down taking in the sight of the homey kitchen while Lily busied herself putting the flowers into water.

It was a nice house, very comfortable and not overly decorated. He liked it and was beginning to relax when another person joined them. He sat bolt up straight when Petunia appeared at the doorway, sniffing the air suspiciously as if a cat had dragged something smelly in.

"James, this is my sister Petunia." Lily introduced her expression peculiar. James stood up and smiled. "Petunia, this is James Potter."

"Hi."

Petunia barely inclined her head in acknowledgment and James instantly felt like he _was _the smelly _thing_ that the cat had dragged in. Petunia's eyes fell on the flowers that Lily had put on the side in vases and James gulped. He should have bought one more bunch. He hadn't known that Lily had a sister or maybe he had just plain forgotten, but either way he felt like he'd been rude already. Great impression he was making.

Petunia entered the kitchen with care and she stationed herself on the other side of the table with an ever-watchful eye on James. He shifted uncomfortably under her scrutiny, finding it very hard not to sense the severe dislike and hostility coming from her.

Dinner was ready and after the food had been brought to the table Lily positioned herself next to James feeling that distance between him and her sister might do some good.

"Well tuck in!" Diane said excitedly. The food was delicious. James ate heartily, if only he could say the same about the conversation over the exquisite food. The conversation had started well with general talk but the subject inevitably drew to the subject of school. Petunia bristled visibly and it had not escaped even James' notice although the parents did not see it. They had long since grown used to Petunia's extreme dislike to the subject and hadn't even noticed the change.

"So this year you have to take N.E.W.T.s? Are they like A-levels?" Harry queried.

James had heard of the Muggle schooling system and knew what exams he meant. "I guess they are."

"Entirely different exams of course." Lily added carefully watching Petunia but her sister continued to eat in a stony silence.

"And once you've passed these tests you'll graduate and will be able to use magic out of school?" Diane asked blissfully unaware of the agitation that she was causing to her eldest daughter. "Wouldn't that be nice dear?" she said to her husband. "We'd finally get to see Lily use some of her amazing skills!" Harry agreed and reached for another bread roll.

Petunia's fork clattered to her plate. Everyone went quiet and still. Lily half-expected Petunia to explode there and then but she just picked her fork up and resumed eating; her motions deliberate and even jerky. James looked mildly confused but remained politely quiet.

"So, James!" Harry started, finally aware of the tension. "Do you like sport?" he said falling to a more comfortable theme.

James nodded. "Sure, I love Quid..." he stopped thinking that it was somehow inappropriate because Petunia stiffened again. "I love air sports." He finished. Quidditch was an air sport after all.

Harry became very interested. "Really? Which kind?"

"Sky diving." James wasn't quite lying; he had done it before on a holiday and had enjoyed it although it wasn't what he would class as a regular sport.

"That sounds dangerous." Diane offered more gravy to him and he accepted.

"Your cooking is wonderful, Mrs. Evans." James complimented. The food was delicious and the compliment had effectively turned the conversation away from himself.

Diane blushed. "Please call me Diane! And it's not all that." Lily smiled inwardly; knowing her Mother was very pleased.

Petunia made a sound that might have sounded like a snort had Harry not suddenly started to cough loudly to cover it.

Petunia's ugly mood smoldered more. Her Mother had not offered for Vernon to call her by her first name on any of his many visits, nor had she been so genuinely pleased when he had complimented her cooking. This Potter boy must have cast some sort of spell, he was just the same as Lily; bewitching people to get what they want, but Petunia knew better than that to fall under their spell.

"What's the matter, can't your dirty tricks conjure up a decent meal?" she said scathingly.

Diane looked startled at Petunia's rudeness and Lily had her head low with color rising on her cheeks. James could tell that she was ashamed of her sister's behavior. It was the same expression that Sirius tended to wear when his Mother was around and was ranting about the importance of Pure blood. _Poor Lily_. He thought sympathetically. He had heard of those who did not take very well to the idea of there being witches and wizards and he guessed that Lily was unfortunate to have one of them as a sister.

James' hand dropped from the table and as inconspicuously as possible he reached under the table to grasp Lily's hand to offer comfort, but as soon as his fingers closed around hers he knew that she was not ashamed at all, but _angry_. _Very angry_. Her fingers were clenched so hard that her nails were biting into her palms and her knuckles hardened. He gave it a reassuring squeeze but they remained clenched.

"Petunia, could you please leave the table." Harry said. His voice was low and very stern. "Your rude behavior is not acceptable here."

Petunia threw her cutlery down onto the table. "I'm not the one that should leave the table Dad! It's the freaks that should fucking leave!"

"Petunia! I did not raise a daughter to be so foul mouthed!" Diane raised her voice. "Apologize at once!"

"Not very likely!" Petunia screamed back. "What's happened to my parents? Are you so blinded that you can't even see sense? Lily should be sent to an asylum with the rest of her freaks! She shouldn't be here! There's something wrong with her! All of them! Why don't you see her for what she is?" she jabbed a finger in Lily's direction. "A _freak_!"

Lily was on her feet in an instant. James also got up still holding onto her clenched fist. He had never seen Lily so angry before. She was furious, her anger seemed to sting the air and he could sense a great deal of under current of upset underneath it all.

"Don't-...I don't...understand-" she spluttered, too angry to form coherent words. James could sense what was coming next; she was way too enraged to control herself. He could feel the power running threw her hand and every last piece of glass on the table exploded. Everyone jumped and shielded their faces from the peppering piece of glass. James pulled her back away from the table and at the same time the surge of energy left her body and she went weak in the knees.

"Don't you see it now?! She's trying to kill us!" Petunia shrieked and fled out of the kitchen.

"Petunia!" her parents shouted after her simultaneously. They looked at Lily, torn between their two daughters.

"I'm all right, go calm her down before she decides to call the police." Lily told them. It wouldn't be the first time her sister would have tried to get her certified. With apologetic looks they both left and went up the stairs.

Dinner had been ruined despite their best efforts. With shaking hands Lily began to clear away the mess of spilt drink and food on the table.

"Let me do it." James started to help but Lily pushed his hands away.

"No, it's okay. I'll do it." She piled pieces of plates together while James watched silently. "I'm so sorry things turned out like this." She said after a while.

"It's not your fault."

Lily fell quiet again and James let her be until she spoke again. "Oh James, I'm not going to be allowed to go back to Hogwarts!" Lily dropped a piece of china back on the table.

James moved closer to her. "Why not?"

Lily bit her lip. "Because I broke a law, I used magic outside of school!" The one and only ever time Lily had ever lost control like that was when she had been a child before she had known she was a witch. "They're going to expel me!"

He pulled her around to face him. "Don't be silly Lily. They are not going to hold it against you for losing control once in a while." He took her hand and smoothed out the grip. "See, you're not holding your wand, you did not intend to use magic. It was an accident, they can't expel you for that."

"They can't?"

"Trust me." He said sincerely, his eyes twinkling.

"You've done it before." Lily guessed. "Deliberately."

James scratched his jaw line and gave her a crooked grin. "One needs to find out loopholes in rules if one is to be a creative rule breaker."

Lily almost smiled. "At least you admit it."

"There's no shame in it." He said and then continued in a more serious tone. "Just like there is no shame in you being a witch. Your parents are very proud of you."

"Yes, they are. But sometimes I just wish..."

"You can't change the way your sister thinks. Only she can do that."

Lily pressed her eyes close, letting the words sink in. It made sense, she knew it made sense but some things were just hard to accept. When she opened them again she found James looking at her with worry written all over his face.

"I'm all right." She told him and squared her shoulders. "Well, what are you waiting for? Help me tidy this mess up then!"

"Yes Ma'am!" James happily complied knowing that Lily had come to terms with some things.

---

**A/N**: Did Harry get into trouble for blowing his Aunt up? I think he did but anyway, I've decided that the laws were a little more lax in those days so unless the user intended it he or she does not get penalized if they lose control and use magic unintentionally.

And no, I haven't forgotten about the presents!


	31. Handle With Care

**A/N:** Thank you for all your reviews! This isn't one of my favorite chapters but I promise I'll make up for it later!

- - -

The evening drew along and the ruins of the dinner were cleared away. Lily led James to the sitting room and together they sat in front of the fireplace. It was no where as big as the roaring fire place in Hogwarts but nonetheless it offered the same comfortable warmth accompanied by pops and crackling of burning wood and coal. They sat crossed legged with James watching Lily and Lily twirling the tassels of the rug between her fingers. Above them raised voices could be heard followed with occasional _thunk_ where Petunia had probably thrown an object.

"Normally I'd be up there screaming my head off too." Lily admitted. James thought that the argument sounded rather mild, especially after having witnessed a typical argument in the Black household. Now one of those was pretty nasty. "I'm really sorry you got dragged in all this." James reached out and rested a hand on her shoulder and she could feel the warmth from it spread.

"You don't need to apologize. I think I've come off rather lucky! I got a yummy dinner!"

Lily chuckled softly. "Always about food. Food is the way to a man's heart was what Mum keeps saying."

"Sure it is. Is that how your Mum bagged your Dad?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "No, but don't let her start telling you _that_ story! You'll never get to leave this place."

"Not a bad idea." James stretched but then realized what he'd just said. "I mean, I uh, it's comfortable place. I like your family, they're very nice people." He said truthfully.

Lily was clearly not feeling particularly sensitive or chose to ignore James' slip. "Believe me, after having Petunia treat you like you should have a carry a sticker that says 'handle with care' for a couple of hours. You wouldn't want to be here."

"So what do you do?"

"Pretend I'm a Muggle for a few weeks. It's a nice break I suppose because when I have to go back to school again everything seems new and amazing again."

"Wow." James wondered what it was like being a Muggle. Wouldn't life be boring? Maybe he should start watching some football.

"James? How much do you know about St. Mungo's?"

"St. Mungo's?" James repeated surprised at the sudden change in direction. "Not too much I'm afraid. I've only had to go a few times."

"You have?"

"Well yeah, learning doesn't really stop when school breaks up for holidays."

Lily felt the corners of her mouth go up in a knowing smile. "If that came from anyone else I would have believed them, but coming from you, no way."

"Why, Lily I'm hurt!" he feigned.

"No you're not." She said. "I can see right through that one. Tell me how you managed to land yourself in hospital. I trust it won't be as anything straight forward as a broken bone."

"No that can be fixed as a DIY job."

"You're kidding?" her eyes automatically searched along his limbs to see if there were any ill-fixed joints under his clothes but as far as she could tell there weren't any.

"No, I'm not." He replied seriously. He managed to maintain the seriousness for no more than a few seconds before he dissolved into laughter. "You are so gullible!"

Lily smacked him playfully on the arm. "I'm not! It's just you! I can never tell when you being serious or when you're..." her expression fell. "Or when you're just playing around."

James noted the change but did not pursue it. "Why the interest in St. Mungo's?"

"I tried to visit Yoanna."

"And?" he prompted when she didn't finish.

"They wouldn't let me."

"Why?"

She gave a little shrug. "They had to increase the security. Apparently it's something to do with increased numbers of unknown people coming to the hospital, so now it's restricted access only."

James frowned. This was some serious stuff; increasing security in a hospital was not an easy feat yet there was a need that was demanding enough to require such extreme precautions. "Could the strange people be identified?"

"They didn't tell me."

"Did they harm anyone or anything?" Lily shook her head again to indicate that she did not know. They must have done something otherwise they wouldn't increase security. Most interestingly the event had not been reported in the Daily Prophet. That alone made it very suspicious however James did not want to share his suspicious with Lily because there was no need to alarm her, instead he planned to discuss this with his Dad as soon as he got back.

"Is something wrong?"

James shook his head and let a grin slid easily back on his face. "No, was just thinking." Lily looked like she was going to question more but something upstairs was thrown down the stairs where it crashed and broke. They winced.

"I think it would be a good idea if I made my way home now." James said with a glance at the clock above the fireplace.

"All right." She saw him to the door and ventured out onto the driveway. It was a cold night and the light wind nipped at her fingers. Neither of them wore a jacket.

"Go back in it's cold." He spun her on her feet so that she faced the porch.

"Okay well, good night!" she said eager to return indoors.

"Lily?"

Lily stopped and turned around. "Hm?"

"Can you wait here for me for a moment please?" Lily's eyebrows went up but she nodded. James grinned. "But go wait in the porch. I promise I'll be right back." He disappeared with a _pop_ and reappeared in less than thirty seconds. He had his hands behind his back. "I've got you a present."

Lily stepped forward again out into the cold. "Oh?"

He nodded. "Close your eyes and hold out your hands." Lily did as she was told. It was very hard not to expect him to drop something slimy onto her hands and she was surprised when he placed something warm and soft on her open palms. "Open your eyes." Lily opened one eye and the other flew open when she saw what her present was.

"Oh, my." She gasped. In her hand was the cutest thing she had ever seen. A kitten wearing a velvet bow was snuggling comfortably in her cupped hands. It looked at her with wide liquid eyes and it mewed to her softly. Lily stroked its furry head. "He's so cute!"

"She." James had thought the little Persian cat to be cute too and knew that Lily would fall in love with it. She did like cats after all.

"Aww!" Lily tried not to make any more silly cooing noises but it was very hard when faced by with something that could be called the epitome of cute. The little kitten had the most beautiful fur: it was very thick and fluffy with various shades of gray all over it's body. She cuddled the kitten. "Has she got a name yet?"

"Nope not yet. She's yours. You name her."

"Hmm...I'm going to have to think about it." Lily held the kitten up and pressed her nose against its soft neck. "Thank you James, she's so lovely." She lowered the kitten again and so James could stroke her too but soon she seemed to grow melancholy again.

"What's wrong? You don't look so happy anymore. Did she pee on you?" he eyed the cat wishing he had asked the shopkeeper whether it was litter trained.

Lily laughed. "No. Petunia doesn't like pets."

"Oh." James gulped. "Whoops." He cursed himself wondering why it hadn't even crossed his mind why Lily had said Cronks was the closest thing to a pet she would ever get. Now it seemed wonderfully obvious.

"No! But I'm glad you got me a cat. I've always wanted one!"

"I guess that's okay then, isn't it?"

Lily nodded. "Sure is!" The little cat mewed again in agreement. "Clever little thing aren't you?" Again she mewed. They laughed.

"Well, I guess I should be off now." James said after a few minutes of cat petting.

"Oh, wait! Not yet." Lily handed the kitten over to him. "Wait for me!" she called over her shoulder and sprinted back indoors.

"What is she up to?" James looked at the kitten and the kitten looked back up at him.

Lily sprinted up the stairs and into her room. The gifts still lay wrapped on her bed and with a slight hesitation she grabbed both. Ignoring Petunia's shouting at her she dashed back down the stairs. "I've got something for you too!"

James eyed the presents with surprise. "Really? For me?"

"Yeah." She handed them over and took the kitten back.

"Both of them?"

"Well, yeah. I bought one of them but decided that it wasn't really all that so I made the other one. I couldn't decide which to give to you so I thought I'd give you both."

"Wow." James ran his fingers along the snowman covered wrapping paper. "You made one?" he was impressed that she had taken the time to make something for him.

Lily nodded. "Aren't you going to open it?"

"Uh, sure!" He placed one under his armpit and began to pull of the wrapping paper of the other. "Cool!" he pulled out the book. "I love Quidditch!" He began to unwrap the other, wondering what Lily had made for him. Whatever it was he vowed to treasure it; she could have given him a piece of paper with glue on it and still, he would have loved it. "Wow." He pulled out a thick scarf from the tissue paper. She had made him a scarf. She had put _a lot _of time in for him.

"Do you like it?" She asked hopefully while monitoring his response. So far so good, it seemed.

"I love it!"

Lily grinned as he wrapped it around his neck. It looked good she thought triumphantly, and the handiwork wasn't too shabby either.

James was grinning too. He hadn't really worn scarves before but that didn't matter. He'd wear this everyday for the rest of his life because Lily had made it. "Thank you!"

"That's okay-" Lily started and James pulled her into a hug. Careful not to squash the kitten she returned it as best as she could.

It was very hard for Lily to explain what it was that went through her mind in that instant. The cold December seemed to melt away leaving just the odd tingling feeling that somehow seemed to spread. Time appeared to want to drift by and lose its way in a fashion that was not unlike its cousin in the Forbidden Forest. She would find it hard to explain what it was that she had thought later, but she would always remember how it _felt_ to be tucked safely in the arms of James Potter. She breathed in deeply taking in his scent and warmth. Everything was just _him_. Enveloped in his arms she could not shake off how right everything seemed.

"This feels good." James thought and then realized that he'd said it aloud. Whatever it was snapped and they pulled apart feeling the chill once again. "I think you should go back in, it's cold." He said seemingly taking control of himself again. He gave her a little nudge back towards the door.

Lily lingered looking up at him thoughtfully. "Thank you James." She whispered and leaned up kiss him on the cheek. Having done that she was off and in the house. The door closed before he could even react. His hand went to the spot where her lips had touched his skin in wonder.

**

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**

**A/N:** Lily is falling hard and fast! Yes, they will get together soon but it's not going to be easy. I've got some pretty nasty things planned. And yes that kitten is cute but she also has a role to play. Later...

By the way, I'm going on holiday next week and I'm not sure how much of the truckload of ideas I can write down but don't abandon me I'll be gone for approximately a month. Don't stop checking for updates either because being the loopy idea crazed person I am I might grab a computer while in a foreign country and tap down some chapters!


	32. Panic

As soon as the door closed Lily apparated upstairs to her room so she could spy on James' departure. She tended to avoid anything magical while Petunia was in the house but this was a special occasion and therefore called upon special measures. Through the nets of her curtains she could see that James was still there staring into nothing with his hand on his face. A full minute passed before he disapperated. Lily slid onto the seat of her bay window her heart thumping loudly. The kitten mewed beside her.

No amount of denying was going to work this time. "I think I have a thing for James." She said softly to herself. She got to her feet and started pacing all the while pondering over her newest discovery. Suspecting was always quite a different thing from admitting. Panic began to settle in and she increased her pacing speed. What if James was just messing about? He could just be playing around because he was bored. Lily groaned and covered her face in her hands. One kitten and she had kissed him! Goodness, what standards were these?

A soft knock interrupted her thorny thoughts.

"Lily?"

"Mum." Diane came into the room. She headed for the bay and picked up the kitten with no surprise.

"How are you feeling honey?"

"I'm fine." Lily flopped onto her bed. The shouting had stopped although she had no idea how long the peace would last.

"Really?" Diane moved over to sit beside her daughter.

"I guess not." Lily admitted after a few seconds. "Dinner wasn't exactly perfect."

Diane gave a quiet laugh. "Understatement of the year but no honey, I wasn't talking about dinner."

"I think I'm getting used to Petunia finally. Don't worry about me?"

"Do you like him?" Diane asked, gently pushing the conversation to the topic of her interest.

"Mum!" Lily sat up astonished by her Mother's bold comment. "Wait, was you-?!"

Diane smiled sheepishly. "You got me, I was playing I spy at you two through the living room window."

"Mum! I can't believe you did that!"

"Aw hush sweetie, at least I didn't let your father watch too!" Diane said with humor. Lily thought about this and then agreed. At least Dad hadn't seen. "I couldn't trust you out in the dark with a boy." She teased. "But I'm happy to say that he was almost a perfect gentleman, better than what I can say for you."

"MUM!" Lily blushed a deep red.

"Relax honey or you'll pop a vessel." Diane said mildly. "I'm still waiting for an answer. Actually I can guess the answer but I want you to say it all the same."

"You are so cruel." Lily rolled over and buried her face into her bed. "I don't know, guess I do." She said when she resurfaced for air.

"Do what?" her Mother asked innocently.

Lily narrowed her eyes knowing exactly what her Mother wanted her to say. "All right! I think I like James Potter! Is that good enough?"

Diane nodded with satisfaction. "Not quite. If you like him why are you working yourself up into such a state?"

Lily wanted to bury her head again. "I don't know whether he's serious." She said and recounted the James of the past and his tally of girlfriends.

"Ah." Diane said and went to sit beside Lily on the bed.

"'Ah'? Is that all?" she had been hoping for a bigger reaction and maybe a whole lecture of sound advice.

"To be fair dating is a lot to do with finding yourself the right partner." Diane laughed. "It's all to do with finding yourself the right person and also someone for you to dote on and for them to coddle you in return. Maybe he just didn't find the right girl in the other girls."

"That's a lot of girls."

"He's a charming handsome young man. Your father had quite a few girlfriends before me."

"What if he's just trying to pull a huge prank over me then?"

"Does he seem genuine?"

Lily paused. "I think so."

"Then give him benefit of doubt. Having said that though, as a Mum I wouldn't want to see you get hurt."

"Mum, you always sound like you're making sense but you never do."

Diane laughed. "I try."

Lily dragged herself over so she could rest her head on her Mum's lap. "He's got this _thing_. I don't know. It's almost magnetic. I want to be around him but at the same time I don't because I get this weird feeling inside."

"I wish I could give you advice honey, but I really don't know what I can say." Her mum stroked her hair like she used to do when Lily was a little girl.

"Don't worry about it Mum, in some sort of strange way I think I can make sense of your advice."

"You can?"

"Sure." Lily meant it with all her heart. It was nice to have someone to listen.

---

**A/N:** A short chapter but it was needed to make other chapters more effective later. I've figured that I need to get writing to finish at least another five chapters (if I can) before I go. I really want to try because I got a really wicked idea in mind. And I'm warning that I will leave on a scary cliffhanger!


	33. The Return

**A/N:** Nothing huge happens here but there are loads of significant hints and stuff. BUT My God I'm on speed over drive. I've just tapped out two chapters in a row, not including the one I've just posted. That's three chapters already. If everything goes to plan then I've got two more before I go away! Did I mention I love it when you guys review every chapter? Because I do!

* * *

"What a blathering fool she has turned him into." Sirius said distastefully although he secretly took great pleasure in seeing James tripping over his own feet. Ever since the dinner he'd been floating around in a bubble of euphoric state that no one had the heart to pierce. "No one could possibly be that happy!"

"Let him be." Remus said from where he was sprawled across the seat in the train compartment. The holidays had flown by at an alarming speed and before they knew it they were packed and on the Hogwarts Express.

"He sends about sixty owls to her everyday, how can anyone possibly have that much to say? He treats owling like bloody...bloody...what you call those Muggle things again?" Sirius mimed that he was holding an object and was pressing buttons on it and then holding to his ear. He snapped his finger remembering before Remus could tell him. "Like bloody telephones!!!" Sirius slapped a hand to his forehead while shaking his head, "I think we've lost a brother." He sighed dramatically.

"You're starting to sound like Bent West."

"Oi! Watch it! You crossed both lines there!" Sirius crossed his arms pretending to be offended. "I'm much better looking, and I have the advantage of having brains and guts."

Remus stretched his arms and yawned. "Any word about St. Mungo's?"

Sirius shook his head. "I didn't hear anything about it from my good old family but then I only went back once this time. And James' dad promised to look into it but so far nothing. Lid is on tight. Nobody knows what happened and why the security was upped."

"So nothing?"

"Zip."

"At least Yoanna is out of there now."

Sirius smirked. "What is this interest in Yoanna?"

Remus looked away and was saved from answering by Peter opening the door.

"Hi guys!" he began to shove his heavy trunk through the doorway but it got stuck.

"All right, Wormtail?" Sirius greeted and helped him lift his trunk up.

Peter nodded enthusiastically. "I've been making good use of my holidays. Done loads of research and stuff."

"Research on what?" Remus asked.

"On some cool stuff that we could do this term." He said his eyes gleaming with pride.

"Like what?" Sirius asked lazily with his head hanging out the window.

"Well, I checked out a few things in books." He opened his trunk and fumbled about before pulling out a grayed book. "We could make us be able to see things that no one else could see and they tell us stuff." He flicked through the pages. "Like...urm...we could make us be able to see Grievers! They're way cool! These things are always around us but we just can't see them, kind of like Thestrals but these things are way more interesting and it's not the case they you have to have seen death before you can see them. They hang around people that are about to suffer because they are attracted to a certain aura."

"That's a bit morbid. I'm not sure I want to see things like that." Remus thought it was a very bad idea to see things that foretold misery.

"That's not cool man!" Sirius said dismissively. "Who'd want to see something like that?"

Peter's expression fell. "But we'd be exclusive because only we could see them! We'd be able to use that knowledge somehow." he'd spent most of his holidays trying to come up with an original and cool plan that the other guys always seemed have. He thought Grievers were a fantastic idea; they'd be able to scare people and maybe even learn to control them! Yes! That's what they'd do, they'd each have one to control.

"We already are exclusive." Sirius said with every bit of the big headedness that he had been said to possess.

"But this is just like the time we-"

"No it's not. _That_ was a good idea. This one is _not_." Sirius said not realizing how cutting it sounded. Peter went quiet. He had loads of other ideas but Grievers was his best one.

Remus tried to correct Sirius words. "What Padfoot is trying to say is that it might not be a very good idea. I mean what if we saw Grievers following ourselves? I don't know how brave you feel but that would haunt me and I'd be scared of every shadow thinking it will cause me grief."

Peter nodded but he wasn't really listening.

The door opened again and James came in dragging his trunk. "Well lookie here, if it ain't our local Romeo."

James cast Sirius a withering look. "Are your fleas making you itch that much?"

Everyone smiled. There was nothing like getting together again.

- - -

Lily wiped her eyes amazed at how emotional she had gotten. It seemed extra tough this time waving to her parents before passing through the wall. She hadn't cried about a departure to school since her first year and wondered why it had happened this time.

The train loomed in front of her and she dragged her trunk aboard waving cheerfully to her friends.

"That's such a cute cat!" Joey Canwright from Hufflepuff exclaimed. "What's its name?"

"Nutmeg." Lily hadn't known what to call the kitten so as a result Kitten became it's name for the first few days and it wasn't until it managed to break a pot of powered nutmeg and rolled in it that a name was decided.

Joey stroked Nutmeg's silky ears and cooed. "She's still a baby. Did you get her for Christmas?"

"She was a present."

"Really? I would love to be given a cat! Who is it from?"

Lily hesitated knowing it wasn't wise to tell the truth. She searched the crowded platform trying to think of something to say but a familiar head caught her attention. "Urm...Yoanna!"

"From Yoanna?"

"No sorry, I've just spotted Yoanna. I'm sorry, I haven't seen her for a while. Excuse me." Lily gratefully left and went to catch Yoanna.

"Yoannie!" Lily gave her a huge hug. Yoanna was surprised but she returned the hug happily. "How have you been?"

"Really well!"

"I tried to visit you at the hospital but they wouldn't let me."

"You did?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't matter now because you're back!"

"I'm so glad to be back too. All those days when they kept checking me over but I was absolutely fine. There was nothing wrong with me at all! Look, there's Rosie. Rosie!" Yoanna waved to her but Rosie didn't seem to have heard or seen her. "Doesn't matter I'll catch her later."

The whistle went and everyone began to pile onto the train. Yoanna followed Lily and together they pushed themselves among the first and second years until they stopped outside a compartment.

Lily slid the door open and stuck her head in. "Hi guys, guess who I've got with me." She pushed door open fully. "Ta da!" Yoanna found herself faced with the Marauders. They looked eager to see her although it was not in the way that she would have expected. Sirius bared his teeth almost like a grimace and James looked worried and kept glancing at Lily and then back at her. Peter just stared and Remus was the only one who seemed genuinely happy to see her although he also looked uncomfortable.

Remus was the first to speak. "Yoanna! Hi!" he shuffled along so there was enough room for the two girls to sit down. "How have you been?"

"Not bad." Yoanna sat down next to Remus and Lily ended up next to Peter and opposite James.

"We haven't seen you for ages! Not since..." Remus trailed off not knowing exactly what to call it.

"Since the nightmare?" Yoanna finished.

All eyebrows went up. "Nightmare?"

Yoanna nodded firmly. "I don't remember much but it turns out that I was having a very bad nightmare and somehow I went berserk in my sleep and destroyed my bed. At least that was the explanation that was given me. The nurse told me I had some sort of dreaming disorder. I can't quite remember the name they gave it."

James and Sirius exchanged a glance. "You don't remember any of it?"

Yoanna shook her head. "Too fuzzy to make sense out of. At least I've been cured of it."

"Nothing? So you don't even remember any visitors? Like Rosie didn't visit you?" James elbowed Sirius making him continue less obviously. "Or Remus or us coming in after?"

"Nope, none of it."

Lily could tell that the guys were disappointed. What could they have been expecting her to say? She for one was relieved because if Yoanna hadn't been attacked all their suspicions involving someone manipulating dreams was pretty much refuted. There were still many mysteries but if Lily had learnt anything in the past seven years, it was that there were many things could never be explained. She would feel very happy to write off her nightmares as a freak incident and the events that ensued after her overreaction to them would be something she could laugh about when she was old. What a wild goose chase they had been through!

"Hey! I've heard about these." Lily pointed at a rough sketch on Peter's open book.

"It's a Griever." Peter said glad that someone was finally taking interest.

"Yeah, aren't they attracted to bad mojo?" Lily shivered. "I'm glad I can't see those." Peter closed his book wisely and returned it back to his trunk.

Normal chatter followed and soon they had all changed into their robes and were leaving the train. Lily cradled Nutmeg in one arm and did not object when James' hand brushed hers a few times before taking it completely. His grip was firm and warm and to top it off he was wearing the scarf she made. The two walked on; oblivious to the curious stares and the other Marauders' glee that James and Lily were finally a couple.

* * *

**A/N:** Muwahaha! The whole incident isn't finished. There's a lot of holes in Yoanna's explanation and I know none of you guys are as naïve as Lily. And why in the world would she wave at Rosie is Rosie had attacked her? Keep thinking people but not too much because a fluffy chapter is coming up! xXx 


	34. Sweet To Sour

**A/N:** a complete James and Lily chapter.

---

Lily waited under the stony alcove. The past week had passed blissfully with a certain peacefulness that snow always brought. Everything was covered in a thick blanket that softened every last hard edge of stone. Her heart skipped a beat when she spotted James making his way towards her. He was wearing the scarf that she had made. He always seemed to have it on these days, not that Lily minded of course.

"Hey." He smiled and stooped in front of her.

"Hey." Lily said grinning back up at him. James rumpled his hair suddenly feeling shy. "You're ears are all pink." Lily said. She inwardly cringed, if anyone were listening they would probably doubt if they were ever capable of intellectual talk. He rubbed his ears.

"They're cold." He said. Lily pulled of her fluffy white earmuffs and capped them over his ears. Now his whole face went pink.

James knew he looked really stupid and even without seeing his reflection he knew that the earmuffs looked much better on Lily. All the same, he left them on for a little while.

"Aren't your ears getting cold?" he asked.

"Yes but I'm enjoying you looking silly."

"I don't look silly. I think they suit me." James said playfully. Just then, Dumbledore walked by, humming casually to a tune. He was wearing a purple set of fluffy earmuffs that his robes. As he passed them he winked and continued to hum. "See, it's in fashion." Lily fell into a fit of giggles.

"I think Linda is waving at you to go over." James said seeing the fellow Gryffindor over Lily's shoulder.

Lily turned. "I think you're right. I'll be right back!"

"Wait!" he stopped her before she could leave. He took off the earmuffs and slipped them over her ears. "Good, I can hear again!" He pinched Lily lightly on the nose.

"Watch it Mister or you'll lose an eye." She warned as she went to Linda.

James stood in the ankle deep snow marveling out how disgustingly sweet everything seemed to be. If he had known being with Lily would cause this sugar coating effect he would have tried to ask her out earlier. Wait...he did. He shrugged, amused at his jumbled thoughts.

He almost didn't hear it when Joey came up from behind. "Hi!"

"Oh hi, Joey!"

"You look happy, today. I mean, uh, more so than usual." She went red and James thought she looked like a Christmas tree ornament. A nice one of course, just like everything else that seemed so lovely at that very moment.

"That's a nice scarf, you don't usually wear scarves."

James' hands went his neck. How did she know? "It is nice isn't it? It's from Lily."

"Oh." Joey looked uncomfortable.

"Hang on." James reached out and pulled a dried leaf from Joey's hair.

"Thanks." Joey mumbled all smiles again.

"No problem."

---

Lily could see James and Joey talking. The younger girl was twisting on the spot her eyes never leaving him. James was laughing and then he reached out to touch her hair. An odd lump formed in Lily's throat. Every bad thought and insecurity came flying back and hit her with a hammer. How could you have been so stupid, Lily Evans? She asked herself. James might have liked her but he also liked a lot of other girls. It stung a little to see him behave in the exact same manner to Joey as he had to her. _Benefit of the doubt. Benefit of the doubt_. Lily chanted to herself. The lump was still hard to swallow.

With a forced gulp she made her way back to the happy couple. When James saw her coming his Lily-is here- smile appeared although unbeknownst to him its effect had bounced straight off. He reached out and took her hands, folding them into his to warm them up. Lily gave a Joey a polite smile; it was not her fault. And neither was it James' she told herself.

Lily could tell that Joey felt uncomfortable in her presence. The girl excused herself as quickly as she could just as Lily expected.

"What did Linda want?"

"Nothing." Lily answered moodily. Linda had actually wanted to ask if she and James were a couple and Lily had been about to nod but shook her head instead when she say Joey with him.

James sensed the upset; he was beginning to turn into somewhat of a radar when it came to upset. "Is something wrong?"

"No." Lily pulled her hands away from his and tucked them away in her pockets.

"Your frown says otherwise."

Lily's frown deepened. "My frown doesn't say anything." She said stubbornly. James gaped at her in wonder. His sweet Lily had walked away and not five minutes later a sour Lily came back. If this was one of those mood swings he knew he was treading on thin ice. "You know I don't need all this special attention you're giving me."

James was confused. "Special attention?"

"I don't need you to be with me all the time. I don't need you to wait for me after lessons or to sit with me at lunch. I don't even need you to talk to me!"

"But you're my girl-"

"No I'm not!" Lily huffed and crossed her arms.

James' jaw fell open. "I'm not your-"

"No you're not."

"Not even a little-"

"NO!" James wasn't liking this mood swing thing and the scary this was: she seemed absolutely serious. She was giving him the Lily-glare and with a sinking feeling he knew that it was the end. Actually, it could not be the end if it had never started.

"Fine." He began to leave, deliberately taking slower steps in case she might call him back.

Lily watched him leave, her heart beating more steadily than it had done for the past week. Each hollow _thump_ reverberated inside her chest. It felt like an ache. Despite her words she did not want to see him go. She had _loved_ his special attention. It was nice having someone to walk her to classes and to wait up for her. It was wonderful having him beside her at meal times and it was sweet when he kept stealing the nice dishes and putting them in front of her.

Lily opened her mouth but pride won over and she closed it again. Whether she could see it or not, this was for the best. If she couldn't have all of his heart then she wouldn't want a piece at all. Lily of all people could not share a boyfriend with others. With a heaviness that she could not explain Lily trudged back to her room.

James walked aimlessly about the castle grounds. Each step he took he felt the injustice and hurt jab at his pride. So she hadn't even considered him as boyfriend, that was fine with him! No, actually it wasn't but it looked like he had no choice.

He wanted to kick himself for believing in a false hope. In some ways he had been better off when she kept rejecting him out straight, at least then he had no way of mistaking her words. But her actions...everything in the past few weeks said that she liked him. In fact, now he was convinced that she did like him! This served nothing but make him angry because he was so confused and he did not like being left in the dark.

With his mind set he changed his direction and made his way back to the tower. If the Lily he knew did like him she would be upset and if she were upset she was likely to be in her room and that will be where she would give him some answers.

Having decided his plan of action and confirmed by one Lily's friends that she was indeed in her room, he found that executing it became a whole different matter. It was a minor problem that came in the form of stairs designed to prevent him from climbing them. As soon as he placed one foot on it everything flattened out and he would slide down them. He tested it again but the same happened, there was absolutely no friction on them! Growing more determined he started to try running up as fast as he could but each time he landed at the bottom.

James took a deep breath. _Where there's a will there's a way_. He gritted his teeth and tried again. This time he managed to get more than halfway up before he slid back to the floor. Panting with his hands on his knees he waited until the stairs became stairs again. If he could just get far enough before it flattened out... He crossed the room so he could give himself a run up. He ran at fall speed and leapt up skipping the first four stairs. He managed one, two strides and the stairs were flat and as smooth as obsidian. James threw himself up the last distance and his hands hit the floor at the top. With an effort he pulled himself up.

For the first time in Hogwarts history a male student had made his way up the girls' dormitory stairs. His triumph was short lasted as he stood up and wiped his forehead. What lay ahead of him was a much tougher task than the stairs. Lily Evans.

A third year came out of her room talking to her friend. She squeaked when she saw James standing outside her door.

"Which room belongs to Lily Evans?" he demanded.

Still shocked at seeing a guy there she pointed. "Second door on the right."

"Thank you." James headed for the door his jaw set and face grim. Outside the door however, his courage seem to want to dwindle. He knocked lightly.

"Come in." Lily's voice came from inside. James steeled himself and went in. Lily was sitting on her bed with her back to him.

"Evans." He cleared his throat. Lily spun around.

"Potter!" her eyes went wide. "How did you get up here?" she snapped crossly.

"Up the stairs."

"But how- Never mind! You shouldn't be here! I don't want to speak to you!"

"Well I need to talk to you."

"Go talk to Joey instead." She turned her back stubbornly to him.

"What? I'm not going to-" It dawned to James then what was wrong. "Oh, I get it. You're jealous." As soon as he had said it he wished he had phrased it differently.

"I am NOT jealous, Potter! Don't think too highly of yourself."

James could feel anger flare up but it did not burn as fierce as it did before he knew of the cause. "Look, Lily. There's nothing between Joey and me."

"Could not care less." She said resolutely.

"Right, so why are you so angry with me?" he challenged.

Lily paused. "I'm not angry, I just don't want to talk to you."

"Why not?"

"Because!"

"That's not a good enough answer." He approached her bed with caution. Sirius had been a prime example of the kind of damage flying books and accessories could do. In one case his ex-girlfriend had thrown a jewelry box at his head and had knocked him out cold. James did not want to be unconscious before he got answers. He gently eased himself onto his knees on the floor to her left. "You seem angry. Have I done something wrong?"

Lily refused to look at him; instead she focused on the fistfuls of blanket in her hand. "No." she said finally, a lot calmer than she had been. "I'm not mad at you. You're just being yourself. I'm mad at me."

James was still confused but at least she was talking to him now. Nutmeg entered the room, the bell on her collar tinkling as she made her way to the bed and jumped into Lily's lap. Lily stroked her thick fur. James was eternally grateful for the cat because the last creases of anger left Lily completely leaving the sadness that was underneath it.

"I know I've been stupid again." He started. "It's a habit hard to break. I don't know what I've done but I know I've done something. I'm sorry that I assumed that we were dating, or at least were going to date. It's just that for once I thought it might happen."

Lily could feel something go soft inside. It was the way he talked, it made her want to listen and believe everything. He might have told her one day that the earth was flat and given the right tone of voice and sincerity she might have questioned whether it were true. "It has happened for you. With a lot of other girls. One less doesn't make a difference."

"Yeah but they don't count." He stopped realizing his callousness. "I don't mean it like that. I thought they were good people but I never felt the way I do now." James stopped again. It was coming out all wrong, he hunted for the right words but they just weren't there.

"How do you know that it won't change." Lily sighed, her shoulders dropping low. "I never know whether you're messing around or being serious." She looked up and straight at him. "I feel scared sometimes, that you're just messing around with me."

James was shocked. Is this what she really thought of him? "No! I'm not messing around!"

"But how do I know that?"

He thought, long and hard. "You don't. But I do." Lily continued to look at him, her expression unreadable. "I'll prove it to you. With time I promise you will understand that I'm nothing but serious and I will swear it on anything. The problem is, are you willing to give me a chance to prove it?" he extended a hand to her. Nutmeg mewed and stretched out a paw on his hand. "Not you." He said with a trace of humor and pushed it away. Lily also smiled.

"I guess if you proof ends up sucking then I've got a legitimate reason to commit a murder." Lily placed her hand in his and he closed his fingers around it.

"Phew! I was so glad you were going to say no!"

"POTTER!" McGonagall screamed from the doorway.

**A/N:** Yes, Lily did seem a bit petty but things are never clear cut in relationships and jealousy can get very ugly. I took the liberty of making James the one and only ever guy to go up those stairs. You'd think it would have been Sirius but James got there first!


	35. Grievus Sufferus

**A/N:** To my shame and horror I made a very huge mistake in chapter 33. They did not have instant messaging in the 1970s!!! Sometimes I forget what time period this piece is supposed to go in. But no worries! I'm going to fix it. Another thing, I'm not sure at what age they could use magic at home and I always thought apparating was like driving so once you passed your test you could just do it. I'm still not sure about other magic...but anyway...it's a fanfic so let's not nit-pick too much or I won't have much of a story left because I made loads of stuff up. xXx

**TO:** Cecilia Orechio, thanks for pointing that one out. Lily was still confused when she was talking to her Mum but that doesn't mean that she's not receptive of James. And Sirius hints in chapter 33 that James and Lily had been writing to each other constantly throughout the holidays. During this time is probably when Lily is getting familiar with James and when they see each other on the train and he holds her hand; that is when she decides to give him a chance.

**TO**: Puds, Thank you for reviewing and I'm glad you like my story. I do need to edit my stories for grammatical errors but I'm a weird one because I find it very hard to reread through anything that I have written. I very rarely go back on work too, with the exception of major mistakes and stuff like not uploading a whole chapter as I've already down once!

I guess this can make me a bad writer because everything you read is pretty much what comes out of my head straight away with no concern of how it comes out. Nothing has been rewritten or worked upon extensively. See, I'm even bad at explaining! I do have a friend who reads over most of the stuff before I post though and if he misses it then oh well! I'll promise to pay more attention to when I write.

---

James was on his feet in a flash but McGonagall was surprisingly fast and she had one finger hooked on his collar before he could get away. "This is the very last straw POTTER!" She shouted and he found himself thrown down the stairs. The stairs were flat in an instant and skidded all the way down to the bottom and landed with a crash. He even had the bruises to prove it but every last male student in the school now revered him and he basked in a new sort of glory.

Even Sirius had whistled. "What can I say? You beat me to it Prongs. Must admit, I tried every single spell I knew and none of them worked, I didn't even think about running up them."

In all honesty, it hadn't even occurred to James that he should have taken a more cool headed approach of using magic to his advantage. At the time he had seen stairs, _difficult_ stairs yes, but still stairs and the only way to get around them was physical and therefore nothing to do with magic. He didn't tell Sirius that bit of information though.

Many stories began to spread and none of them were at all innocent. James guessed that it was for this reason that his punishment had been extra severe. As well as deducting more minus House points he was sentenced to assist Filch in his caretaker duties for three weeks. The brunt of the hardworking slaving hours were somewhat lessened by Lily. He especially looked forward to every evening because she would bring dinner in a small basket and he would take half an hour away from his laborious tasks so that they could share a meal together. All in all James thought that things were not too bad...

Peter pointed his wand to the bottom of his rounded chin and chanted the spell again and again but still it would not work. Each time he squeezed his eyes shut and then reopened them blinking rapidly and then surveyed the room hoping to see if he could see anything _different._ But each time there was nothing different, the Room of Requirement was as it was before he had said the spell.

Frustrated he raked a hand through his hair seemingly with a confidence that he did not usually show. In truth he wasn't feeling all that confident but it was a gesture that both James and Remus done often and in Peter's eyes it always made them appear confident.

He pushed the sleeves of his robe up just like the way Remus did when he was approaching a particularly difficult problem or question. Again this was another little gesture that meant little to the others but much to Peter. Getting a better grip of the wand he pointed it at his chin again.

He knew that once he got the spell to work and he could show them how cool it was to be able to see something that others could not they'd all want him to cast the spell on them.

"_Grievus Sufferus!_" The air beneath his chin stirred but when he opened his eyes there was still nothing.

"What am I doing wrong?" he moaned aloud and kicked the book aside. "It must be a crack spell." He decided. It was just something that was written to trick people. There were many spell books like that and it was his bad luck to find this one to study.

He was glad that none of the other guys were here to witness this.

Peter pointed his wand again, this time at the door. He stood with his feet apart, one in front of the other assuming a classic dueler's stance. He was Peter, the Greatest Dueler in the whole of Hogwarts! No, the Greatest in the World! He brandished his wand and knew that if any opponent ever saw him ready to duel like that they would shy back from the challenge and back off. He was fearsome with his power and no one dares to challenge him! He'd also have lots of pretty girls; prettier than Lily, sweeter than Yoanna and sexier than Rose. She would be his because she knew what a powerful wizard he was.

"_Grievus Sufferus!_" he said, liking the way the words rolled out of his mouth. Yes, he could easily imagine it being a powerful spell, as powerful as the Forbidden Curses. "_Grievus Sufferus!_" he pointed his wand at the door, aiming for his imaginary opponent's eyes-

The door began to open and Peter panicked. "_Grievus Sufferus!_" he squeaked, the words still fresh on his lips. The spell would have been useless in any duel but in his panicked state it was the only thing he could think of.

James fell into the room clutching his eyes. "Argh!"

Peter was shocked. The spell had worked?! "J-James?" He went over to where James was rapidly rubbing his eyes.

"Wormtail! What the hell was that?" James blinked his teary eyes seeing a pale faced Peter. James was passing the Room of Requirement when he had heard noises from the inside. Curious he had lowered his cleaning supplies and decided to investigate. Not in a million worlds had he expected to be hexed.

"A spell." Peter answered stupidly.

"I think I _know_ that! But what spell?" James hated to think that he now had green hair or an extra arm growing off him somewhere. At least he didn't feel abnormal but that didn't mean he hadn't been hexed.

"It was a...a Griever spell."

"A what spell?" James got to his feet. He had a vague memory of Grievers being mention on the train but he couldn't remember anything about them. His vision was returning and there didn't seem to be any permanent damage.

"Don't worry! It doesn't work, I tried it on myself and it didn't work." Peter said quickly.

"Well, just as long as it doesn't work." James retrieved his cleaning tools. Shaking his head. "I thought we'd been through this: the 'don't hex your friends or yourself rule'?" he'd meant it with humor but Peter hung his head low. "I gotta finish this before I turn in tonight." He gave Peter a last look. "Don't worry about it mate, I've recovered now." James gave an experimental jump to prove his point. "And none of my limbs are falling off. I'm fine." With a wave he was off to complete his chores.

James reached the main hall whistling. The first task he tackled was to wipe down the tables and once again he had been forbidden to use magic. He set to work giving the wood a good wipe and was about to start on the polish when something out of the corner caught his eye.

Movement.

James stopped and looked at the end of the table where he thought he'd seen it but there was nothing there. All the same the beginning tendrils of dread began. Just to make sure he went to the end and had a good look around but there was nothing. Maybe he was just tired...

Another, more definite movement banished every last strip of doubt that he was just seeing things. James edged around the long table; his eyes pinned on a stretch of shadow that appeared to be cast by no object. There was nothing around it at all.

It's shape appeared liquid but solid enough although it's substance was no more than inky smoke. In front of he's very eyes it changed, soundlessly shifting from the size of a cat to something that equaled his height. Whatever it was James knew that it was not benign, it radiated a kind of dread that was a lot more substantial than its own body. He could feel the negativity flowing out towards him and the feeling was so strong he was breathing it in where it slowly seeped into his heart.

The featureless shadow slinked away, unaware that James could see it. The inexplicable malice slithered away drawing James along with it. He was not one to scare easily but he felt an involuntary shudder travel down his spine. Still, he left the main hall following it in the need to know where it planned to take its malevolence.

Shadow to shadow it melted in, never did it waver from its path and James followed stepping boldly into the shafts of pallid moonlight that leaked in from windows. It led him all the way to the other side of the castle until it finally oozed under a portrait that James could not pass. It was the portrait that led to Ravenclaw Common Room..

James stood outside for a long time. Waiting for it to come back out but it did not. After an hour had passed he knew that he would not see it again that night and he returned to his own Common Room still deeply troubled.

What was it? What creature could extrude such despair? With his jaw clenched James strode up to his room and straight to Peter's bed. He shook Peter roughly.

"W-what?" Peter sat up rubbing his eyes.

"What does it want?" James demanded."

"Put a sock in it!" Sirius grumbled from his bed. Remus was also sitting up because James had left the door open and a shaft of piercing light from the corridor was falling directly on his bed.

"What's wrong Prongs?" he yawned.

James shook Peter again to wake him up. "What spell did you say it was?"

Peter was awake now. "I- I-" he stuttered.

"Tell me Peter." James gritted his teeth.

"It was a G-Griever spell."

James let go of Peter and sat back. Now he had a name for the shadow. Sirius and Remus were also up and they approached Peter's bed with curious expressions.

"Oh you didn't!" Sirius shook his head. "We told you it was a bad idea. Prongs, what were you doing playing along?"

"I didn't." James wasn't interested in why Peter was trying to cast it any more; the damage was done. He faced Peter. "What are they?" Peter just shook his head.

"Waifs that are attracted to pain, evil, tragedy or suffering. Take your pick, anything bad that's going to happen they'll be there. Normal people can't see them." Remus answered.

Sirius' expression grew dark and unreadable. "How long will the spell last?"

Remus shrugged. "It ranges. A day, a week, a month maybe it won't ever lift."

"I think we've got more problems." James said quietly. "I followed one of these thing to the Ravenclaw Common Room. Someone in that House is going to be in trouble."

**A/N**: I actually had a nightmare about such a creature and in my dream I was seeing it everywhere! So scary but anyway, just wanted to tell you where the idea had come from!


	36. Seeing

**A/N:** Possibly the last chapter before I go! It's an exciting one...well at least I thought so!

- - -

James awoke from an uneasy sleep. It was still early but today there was a Quidditch match between Gryffindors and Ravenclaws. Try as he might he could not fight off the sinking feeling and he kept expecting to see a Griever leak out from the shadows but the morning light was bright and there was not a shadow to be found in their room be it natural or unnatural.

Remus was already up and gone. Peter lay lost in a mound of blankets mumbling in his sleep. Sirius hadn't bothered to draw his bed curtains and he lay stretched out on his back with an arm stretched over his face snoring softly. James quietly got changed into his Quidditch robes and left his room.

He passed Filch on his way to the main hall and was held up for ages while the older man shouted at him heatedly for leaving all the cleaning tools strewn all over the hall. It had been a good few days ago but still he shouted at him as if it were yesterday. James did not say a word and patiently waited until the old man ran out of air before excusing himself.

Remus was already at the table with a book in one hand and a mug of steaming tea in the other.

"Morning." James sat down and Remus looked up from his book.

"No sleep?" he queried upon seeing his friend's tired face.

"Not much." James poured himself a cup of black coffee and sipped it. All the while he kept looking over his mug to the Ravenclaw table searching for hints of the Griever. The Ravenclaws chatted and ate happily, blissfully unaware that some things less pleasant lurked among them.

"It's been five days." Remus said mildly after seeing him do this. "It's not healthy. Grievers are always among us; there's nothing that we can do about them." Since the spell had been cast Remus had dutifully read up on any material he could find on the creatures but all of it said the same thing. There were creatures that foretold the bad.

Taking a larger mouthful of the black liquid James relentlessly searched among the increasingly busy hall with his eyes. "The only difference is that I can _see_ them." He stiffened when he spotted yet another Griever prowling among the tables. It's fluid limbs swung with its movement as it glided past them. Like the others it had no discernible features yet there was something about it that was suggestive of something half man and half beast. It seemed to turn its head towards each of the students, hesitating every now and again as if coming to a person of interest.

James had seen them around the castle and had noticed that they seemed to prefer to go about singularly; at most he had seen two side by side, silently following students. The intensity of the emotion they caused was always increased ten-fold for every Griever that paired up with another. At just two, James felt like he might collapse from the titanic pressure of grief that they embodied.

"Maybe nothing will happen."

"It will." James downed the rest of his coffee.

"Eat something. You barely eat any more." James didn't say anything to Remus' comment. "I still think that maybe Padfoot and I should-"

"No!" James said a little more sharply than he had intended. "I'm sorry. I don't think it's a good idea." Sirius and Remus had offered that they both cast the spell on themselves so that they too would see the Grievers but James had been adamant and had threatened to end their friendship if they tried. One suffering was much better than three he reasoned with them. Already his paranoia for others had risen to alarming proportions. He lacked sleep, couldn't eat properly and with academic demand as well as physical labor in the evenings James was a wreck.

He stared at the table finding it a relief to look at something that was so completely normal and mundane. A plate of peanut butter on toast was pushed into view and he looked up to find Lily smiling at him. He hadn't even noticed her sit down beside him.

"Hey." He greeted and pushed the toast back towards her.

"Hey!" She returned warmly and returned the plate back in front of him. He smiled at her but Lily could see that his smile did not reach his eyes. "Have a little." She coaxed. James shook his head and poured some more black coffee. "Can I have some?"

"You shouldn't have too much though, it's not very good for you." He was about to pour her some but she covered her mug with a hand.

"I want your one." A little puzzled he handed his steaming mug to her. Lily tipped some into her mug and then added a lot of milk to James' coffee finishing with a spoonful of sugar. "It'll be less harsh on your stomach." She explained and handed it back to him. It seemed that was her aim in the first place because he cup of black coffee remained untouched for the rest of breakfast.

James accepted the coffee and took a sip, It was much nicer tasting but it lacked the punch that he felt he needed. Lily went on to cut up the toast with a knife until there were six small pieces on the plate.

"Have a small corner." She offered. "It's tiny, really!" James picked up a corner and ate it slowly. Lily took another corner and nibbled it all the while making sure James was eating.

Remus watched over his book, fascinated by how Lily dealt with James' stubbornness. Whenever he or Sirius tried to get him to eat they would be greeted by nothing but a stony silence.

"You can't leave four pieces on the plate. I don't like the number four." She declared after he had finished his piece.

"Why not?"

"Me and four just don't go. To fix that I think you need to have one more." A shadow of a smile passed his face and he had another piece. In the same manner he allowed her to coax him into finishing the piece of toast and two hash browns. When he'd finished he did feel better and he was thankful for it.

Lily was also beaming. James was worrying her, in the past week he had lost his appetite and he seemed distant and even twitchy. When asked he would always say that he was fine but deep down she knew he wasn't. Not wanting to push the matter she had accepted his answer but all the while she grew more worried.

It was soon time for the teams to go out to the fields. Lily followed James out her hand tightly in his. There was something very wrong today, she could tell. If anything James was tenser than usual and he kept scanning the people around him.

"I'll get a good seat." She told him.

"Okay." He replied still looking about.

"Good Luck, Jamie." She reached up and kissed him on the cheek. For a second he looked confused as to why she was there but he quickly recovered and swept her into a warm hug.

"I'll see you later." He promised and released her.

Lily watched him walk away until he disappeared to meet the rest of the team in the changing room. Suddenly feeling anxious she made her way up the stairs to find herself a seat where she had the full view of the pitch.

James sat down on a bench. The other team players had arrived and Sirius was pacing with excitement. They were a good team and so far almost unbeatable. With a shout from Madam Hooch they were on the move.

"We're good they're bad." Thomas the goalkeeper said.

"That cup is going to be ours!" Sirius fisted the air. Everyone agreed and they marched out of the changing rooms with James coming out last.

Once out on the field the students thundered. Without fail, every student in Hogwarts always came out to watch the game. The Gryffindors roared with their banners and the Ravenclaws screamed. As soon as the sharp whistle went James kicked off, soaring upwards.

Up high the air was thinner and it was much colder but James didn't feel any of it. He could feel the familiar excitement of a game come flooding back and knew that he was mentally switching off the autopilot that he had been living on during the past five days.

The Quaffle was up and James tore after it. Mindy from the Ravenclaws also flew towards it but she was not match for James' determination. Within seconds he had it in his hand and he threw it with deadly accuracy to Sirius who casually tossed it through one of the hoops. The whistle was blown and the Quaffle was tossed up again.

The Gryffindor team played with a fervor almost unrivaled and on this high tide they rode out the game. All they needed now was the Snitch, which fell onto the responsibility of their Seeker Pennywise.

James was about the score again when Ben, a Ravenclaw chaser zoomed in on him trying to tackle the Quaffle off. Easily fending off Ben he was about to pass it on to another team member when he saw something that made him freeze. Without meaning to he dropped the Quaffle. The crowd gasped at such a careless slip but James couldn't hear anything. Ben hovered in front of him confused that such a novice mistake could be made by such an experienced player, but James wasn't looking at Ben, he was looking behind him where twisted onto the broom...was a _Griever_.

Although there was nothing to mark the Griever James _knew_ that this was the one he had followed to the Ravenclaw Common Room. He wanted to yell out to Ben, tell him to get back to the ground at least something! His rational mind tried to remind him that the Grievers didn't cause the bad things to happen but it _foretold_ it.

James blinked and Ben wasn't there. He'd flown away with the Griever still on the back of his broom, his interest following the Quaffle. James searched each of the other flying brooms with paranoia but they all remained thankfully empty.

"PRONGS!" James half turned to Sirius' cry but the next thing he knew a bludger slammed into his ribs and knocked him backwards. The huge expanse of sky flashed by and he saw the bleachers filled with upside down people. With a shocking realization James found himself falling off his broom.

Lily was on her feet. Her hands pressed to her mouth. She wanted to close her eyes to convince herself that it wasn't happening but they refused to shut, leaving her to watch in horror. At the very last second she saw him grab the handle of his broom. He hung there, suspended hundreds of feet in the air with nothing to catch him. The crowd was screaming. Lily bit hard into her lip willing that he would pull himself up.

With immense effort James heaved himself back up onto his broom. It hurt even to breathe and he knew that the bludger had cracked at least two of his ribs. Once righted he found that he could hear again and the crowd was cheering for his recovery. Sirius was flying at his side.

"You all right mate?"

James nodded, wheezing a little while bent over. A second roar among the spectators erupted because Pennywise had caught the Snitch. James didn't cheer because he suddenly noticed that Ben seemed to be having problems with his broom. It kicked backwards and then forwards like a wild horse trying throw off a tamer. Ben remained calm believing to be just another glitch in the old broom but soon, as the kicking grew more violent he began to get scared. James was on the move immediately ignoring his hurting ribs. He flew in from the right and once he was close enough he held out his hand.

"You've got to get onto my broom!" he yelled but was forced to fly away as the wild broom charged at him. The sharp movement was felt sorely by his side but he reached out again. Ben tried to reach out too but the broom would have none of it. Nobody else had noticed Ben's plight until the broom gave one last dying kick before plummeting down to the ground taking Ben with it. James speeded downwards but his broom wasn't fast enough to catch up with the broom that was determined to hit the ground with all its might.

With a sickening _crunch_ Ben hit the ground. His broom broke in half and it lay with him and his broken bones. James barely managed to stop himself from suffering the same fate by pulling up sharply at the very last second. Landing roughly on the ground he hobbled over to the Ben who lay like a broken mannequin. The Griever hovered over his unconscious body almost molding itself around him and did not let go until James got there and waved it away.

Madam Hooch and a handful of Professors came running and Ben was quickly carried off to the infirmary. Lily tried to push herself out from the crowd of students that had formed to watch but quickly found her attempts to be futile.

"James!" she called but he was too far too hear her and soon she couldn't see him any more because Madam Hooch had returned to take him for medical treatment. Lily changed direction and began pushing back out again until she was clear. With her heart thumping wildly she ran all the way to the infirmary but McGonagall was there.

"James!" Lily gasped. "I need to see James!"

McGonagall held a hand up. "He's fine. Madam Pomfrey will see to him. You can return and wait in the Common Room." Lily protested to no avail before turning away. Around the corner she peeked out and waited until the majority of the Professors had left. When sure that there was only Madam Pomfrey left Lily made for the doors.

She had barely passed through the first set of doors before the nurse appeared in front of her with her hands on her hips. "Sorry, visiting hours are over."

"But I need to see-"

"Mr. Potter is fine. He'll be returning later."

Lily opened her mouth and then closed it, deciding to switch tactics. "I'm glad that you're okay now." She said genuinely although she harbored ulterior thoughts of sugar talking her way in.

Madam Pomfrey's hard expression softened. "Yes thank you. I'm glad to be back."

"What happened? Did someone hex you?"

"Good heavens no! It was just an accident. The poor girl was having a nightmare and didn't know what she was doing." Madam Pomfrey shook her head sadly but she grew stern again. She was more aware of the wiles of a student than Lily had suspected. "And you are still not going in!" With that she closed the door and Lily heard the definite sound of a lock falling into place.

Disappointed and worried Lily was left with no choice but to return to the Common Room to wait for James to be released from care.

* * *

James trudged back to the tower stretching his tired muscles as he went. Madam Pomfrey had fixed his ribs and he felt almost as good as new except for a bruise or two. Still, his brain felt tired and he did not feel up to challenging waifs that no one could see. Tonight, he decided he would sleep fitfully for a change. He would not let anything stop him from doing so. With effort he climbed the stairs that led to the tower and gave the password to the Fat Lady.

When the portait swung open James was pleasantly surprised to found Lily asleep on a sofa in the Common Room. She must have been waiting up for him to return but had fallen asleep. The candles were burning at a low intensity and the embers in the fireplace cast a soft and inviting light over the whole room. Winter moths could be seen fluttering against windows enticed by the promise of warmth in the glowing room. All the doors were closed completing the stillness of the room.

James took a few steps closer to Lily's sleeping form and felt his blood run cold. Windows and doors could keep moths and people out but nothing could keep Grievers out. There were seven in the room. All of them hovered over Lily Evans.

- - -

**A/N:** how did you like that one??? I bet James could have stopped Ben falling if he had a Firebolt! But alas, they hadn't been made then.

I might start writing the next chapter but whether I get to post it before I leave is still to be seen. If not I'll see you guys soon or I'll post while I'm away! xXx


	37. Deep Fear

**A/N**: Am glad to be back! Had an excellent holiday but now I'm back home...and at uni. Crap! The updates may not be as regular as during the holidays but I promise that I am not abandoning the story at all! Even I want to see to the end of this and how it ends!

According to the HP website James was a Chaser and not a Seeker at all although he had the Snitch to show off only.

I can't remember who asked me this but no, Lily and James have yet to kiss in this story. Something to look forward to a bit later I guess.

Must also apologize because the holiday has wiped my mind clean and has given me stinky writer's block!

---

James was sure that his heart would stop but it continued to hammer like a drum while he watched the Grievers in their frenzy. The seven sinister shapes hunched over Lily with keen interest. Their hand-like appendages roamed around, barely inches away from touching her whilst they traced the contours of her body.

Angered that they dared to go anywhere near Lily and with a deep hatred and compulsion to get rid of them he strode in amongst their mass. The effect was instantaneous. His knees give way dropping him to the floor in front of her. The feeling of despair was so acute that he found it hard to breathe.

At once the Grievers inexplicably seemed to back off a little, sensing that they could be seen for the first time.

Fighting to control his breathing James closed his eyes letting the feeling roll right through him and when he opened them again he found that it was bearable. It was mostly because the Grievers had retreated to the darker corners of the room but all the same it was lessened and he found he could breathe again and the pressure in his chest lessened.

Lily slept on unaware of the struggles of James' wakeful world and he sat in front of her, wishing he could join her in her dreams. Unable to do little more he glared at each of the Grievers daring them to return at risk but none of them did and with time he would return his attention back to Lily feeling a kind of peace he had so desperately sought in the past week. Still, the Grievers were always on the edge of his thought, threatening to dominate and for the first time in his life he felt a deep _fear_. The Grievers were there for a reason...

Lily let out a small moan in her sleep and shifted. James reached out and brushed away the hair that had fallen over her face but she awoke at his touch and sat up.

"Jamie!" she exclaimed happily. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." He lifted the corners of his mouth in what would have been a smile.

"Like hell you are! You got hit by a bludger!"

"It's fine!" He repeated and subjected himself to her inspection of his newly healed ribs.

"Don't you ever scare me like that!" she snapped at him but then threw her arms around his neck and pulled him closer.

"I'm sorry." He hugged her back tightly; all the while looking over her shoulder at the nearest Grievers "It's getting late. Shouldn't you be going up to bed?" He said gently.

Lily nodded and let go reluctantly. James seemed...peculiar. "I suppose." She stood up. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." She turned to leave and the Grievers stirred. James saw them slink out of the shadows one by one to follow her.

His heart was racing again at the thought of them following Lily all the way to bed. "Lily!" She stopped with one foot on the stairs unaware that the Grievers were swarming around her.

"What?"

"Will you stay the night, with me- here?" James stuttered frantically searching for a reason for her to stay. He did not want her to know about the Grievers. "To be honest, I wouldn't mind having some company. I guess I've been a little off this week..." he trailed off and then felt some color rise in his face. "It's not to...you know...not to...but I uh...just wanted some company." He waited with a baited breath and to his relief Lily nodded.

"All right." If possible the Grievers appeared to be pissed off as Lily made her way back and took his outstretched hand. Once again they retreated back to the corners watching.

They settled back onto the sofa with James leaning against the arm and Lily resting against his chest. She snuggled closer and James wrapped his arms around her. If the Grievers wouldn't go near her while he was around then he vowed that he would never leave her side.

"You can sleep if you want. I don't mind." He said and she nodded already feeling her eyes close in his warmth. Within minutes her breathing grew regular and deeper leaving James alone to ponder why the Grievers had taken an aversion to him. Again he looked over to the moving darkness but saw that they had not left the corners. Releasing a shaky breath he rested his chin on top of Lily's head. He thought he wouldn't sleep but the rhythm of Lily's slow breathing was infectious and soon he was drifting off into a darkness of his own, one filled with Grievers and all of them surrounding Lily.

---

With a jolt James jerked awake. Bewildered he found himself alone with the pale morning light filtering gently into the room. The Grievers were nowhere to be seen and Lily was also missing. Alarmed he got up and was about to start yelling her name when he realized that she'd probably woken early and had returned to her room to get changed for the day.

James raced up the stairs and into his own room. He had a very good idea where the Grievers were or rather _where_ they'd followed Lily. With record breaking time James hopped into the shower even before the water had warmed up and gave himself a quick shave before stumbling back into the room while trying to dress. The Marauder's Map lay open on his bed and he pinpointed the Lily spot to still be in her room.

"Why are you up so early?" Remus was sitting up rubbing his eyes. He was so accustomed to being the first up every morning that it came as something of a shock when he woke to see James up and awake.

Sirius moaned. "You have got to learn to shut up in the mornings!" he stretched out an arm to pull his alarm clock over and he groaned again. "I'm going to kill you two! It's not even seven!"

James looped a tie over his neck hastily trying to tie it while watching the dot obsessively as it moved around the room on the map. In his haste he'd knotted it instead but he left it and worked on his shirt buttons.

"Prongs! Slow down!" Remus thought his friend might unwittingly strangle himself with his own tie.

"I can't! Lily might come out of her room any second." He said while buttoning until he found that he was one button short on the left side telling him that he'd missed one at the top.

"And that's a bad thing?" Remus asked confused at why his friend sounded so concerned at Lily leaving her room. James explained what he'd seen as rapidly as he could, pulling on socks as he did.

"Something is going to happen to Lily; at best it will be unpleasant but at worst it'll be tragic." He finished. "There were seven of them! Ben had one and his broom had gone berserk and ended up crash landed."

"And these Grievers seem to be scared of you?" Sirius had been listening propped up on his elbows.

"I wouldn't say scared, but they don't like me and whenever I'm close they don't go near Lily. That's why as soon as I can I'm going to make sure that I'm there."

"They're not the cause-" Remus began.

"Yes, yes I know, but all the same I don't like them being around her."

"You can't be around her all the time mate. She'll think you're off your rocket." Sirius said. "Unless you tell her."

James wanted to laugh and it took him a second to realize that he was laughing, a kind of maniacal laughter that he had no idea he was capable of. "What do I say? Sorry Lily but you've got Grievers around you and that means you're going to suffer?" Neither Sirius nor Remus said anything but they exchanged a glance with each other. "I am not going to let anything happen to Lily." There was nothing but absolute determination and no one would doubt that he meant otherwise.

Something twittered high on the rung that Remus' bed curtains hung from and James gasped expecting it to be another Griever. "Is that a _bat_?" he asked after he got a good look at it.

Remus looked up and confirmed that James was not seeing things. "Sure is. Prongs, meet Chewy the bat."

"Chewy?"

Sirius made a face at the upside down bat. "Moony's latest acquirement. You remember that lesson where we had to transform a bottle into any animal we wanted? Well Moony turned his into a bat. My honest opinion is that Moony was better off with an empty bottle of Butterbeer. Damn thing does nothing but squeak when it wants to go out and squeak when it wants to come in, squeak when it wants to eat, squeaks when it wants to shit! I bet it bloody squeaks when it's even got an itch!"

"But you called it Chewy?"

Remus laughed. "Well Chewy has this thing about Padfoot's laces."

"Yeah, the bloody thing thinks they're some kind of delicacy." Sirius snorted with distaste. "Chews them like crazy! I've already had to fix them five times."

"What is it with you and animals? They all hate you!"

Sirius shrugged at James. "Beats me."

The Lily dot was making a move on the map. "Right, I'll see you guys later." James said and swiftly left the room.

Remus and Sirius stared after him.

"That's not healthy." Sirius commented on James' plan. He had never seen him so driven before.

"What else can he do?"

"Suppose."

"I wonder why they don't like him?" Remus wondered aloud.

"If I were some unseen shadow drawn to misery I wouldn't be too comforted if someone could suddenly see me. I'd feel exposed."

"Good point. Prongs didn't actively try to stop them from their activity until they started to haunt Lily right?"

Sirius nodded. "They chose the wrong girl to haunt." He meant it, no one knew James better than him and he knew his best friend would never let anything happen to someone he loved.

---

Lily didn't know whether she was more surprised to find James waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs or the state that he was in. He looked like he'd just stepped out of a shower and had thrown his clothes on with no regard. His hair was still dripping and his white shirt was soaked through and his tie hung in knots around his neck and the buttons were done wrong. He looked wet and cold and somehow...nervous; he kept looking around her but nevertheless he greeted her warmly and kissed her on the forehead.

"What happened to you? You look like a drowned duck!" she exclaimed.

James rubbed his wet hair. "I was trying to get a date with the giant squid but I think she wasn't too interested." He said lightly while watching the Grievers shy back.

Lily chuckled and grabbed hold of his tie and pulled him closer. "I bet you're disappointed." She said and began to loosen the knots. Once undone she worked on correcting his buttoning but James stopped her by holding her hands.

"Not at all." A moment passed and Lily thought his expression to be most peculiar until he drew closer and lowered his face to Lily's upturned one. With a gulp she thought he was about to kiss her but he did little more than touch his nose to hers.

She could smell the toothpaste on his breath as he continued to run the tip of his nose down the bridge of hers. It was a very little gesture but nonetheless the effect it had on Lily was profound. She would have moved in and initiated a kiss herself had a drop of water not decided to fall from his wet hair and drip straight into her eye. Blinded in her left eye she pulled away and blinked it away while regretting the loss of his closeness.

James was surprised at himself. Where had that come from? He'd always been fascinated by the way Lily scrunched her nose up whenever the particular expression was adequate. All he had wanted to do was smooth it over and little was he expecting one of _those_ moments to pop up. Romance should be far off his mind with the Grievers about although he could not deny that in that instant it was very much clouding his mind and demanding attention.

Clearing her throat Lily finished buttoning up his shirt and left him to tuck it in while she finished his tie. "You're still wet but you'll do." She said and winced thinking that she sounded a lot like her mother.

"Thanks." James bent over to pick up his cloak that lay rumpled on the floor with no idea when he'd dropped it. He sneezed. "Excuse me!" he sniffed.

"That's what walking around wet does to you." She told him and they headed out of the portrait hand in hand. "Jamie?" she said after a while.

"Hmm?"

"Is something wrong? You don't seem right today." Lily actually thought that that was a bit of an understatement but if she'd learned anything about James it was that she'd never be able to get anything out of by force...instead to be effective she needed to use more _persuasive_ ways. She inwardly snorted at herself; she'd never thought that she would resort to manipulative wiles to get what she wanted. Besides, it was put in for a good cause, he's been very distant as of late and now suddenly he seemed to not want to let her go and his display wasn't exactly what you'd call normal. Something had to be wrong.

"I'm fine. Honest!"

Lily wanted to roll her eyes; as much as he was trying to be convincing the way he kept casting wary looks about gave it all away. No one who was 'just fine' ever looked like that. "You've even cut yourself shaving."

Coming to think of there was a stinging sensation just below his jaw line. He wiped at it with the back of his hand carelessly. "It's nothing important."

Lily's frown deepened but he refused to say anymore. "If you say so." James could sense her mood changing and her manner grew brisk. It wasn't that he didn't want to tell her, he just couldn't...

"Mr. Potter." McGonagall called from behind them.

"Morning Professor." They automatically chimed as she approached.

She nodded. "Morning. A word please Mr. Potter."

Lily pulled her hand out of his. "I'll see you in the hall-" she began to back off.

"What? Wait!" he protested and pulled her back. "Professor can't we talk later?" he asked desperate not to let Lily walk off alone.

McGonagall's eyebrows arched. "Its about Quidditch and the Cup."

"Then it's okay that we talk about it later." The Professor was now openly surprised. Normally the mention of the word 'Quidditch' was enough to make the boy glue himself to a chair in order to listen.

"It will only be a few words I assure you." She said.

"Then Lily can stay as well." He said. It was hard to tell whether Lily was more shocked or McGonagall.

"What is _wrong_ with you Potter?" Lily pulled herself out of his grasp again. "I'll see you _later_." She said firmly and walked off. What was with this sudden clinginess?

James watched her leave helplessly. Stuck in this living nightmare where shadows moved at will there was little that he could do as the darkness slinked after Lily.

McGonagall cleared her throat making James drag his attention back to her. He was suddenly restless, eager for her to say what she had to say so he could leave.

---

Lily continued to make her way to the hall somewhat puzzled by James' new behavior. He was still undeniably sweet but there was something in his eyes, the way they constantly shifted around as if he were searching for something, he looked..._haunted_. She shuddered involuntarily but thought nothing more of it.

She reached the landing pausing when she heard a weird scraping sound. Looking up she could just make out the misty outline of Peeves pushing with all his might at a rusted suit of armor through a broken banister the floor above. He was not paying any attention or thought to the fact that he could be pushing it straight on top of someone's head below. No doubt he just wanted to make some noise and a mess.

"Peeves!" she shouted but he couldn't hear her. With a resigned sigh Lily knew she wouldn't be able to run up and stop him before he completed his deed. Returning her attention to her own floor her heart almost stopped because crouched over his shoe was Brent. One look back up told her that the armor was toppling over the side.

"Brent!" she shouted and made a dive.

---

**A/N:** Okies, a minor spoiler, I just couldn't allow you guys to think that having seven Grievers has only amounted to a set of armor falling on Lily! Well of course it's not enough! No something very bad will happen!

Apologies for producing only a so-so chapter, I'm feeling a bit rusty and the writer's block doesn't help!


	38. Fragile Hope

**A/N:** Work load is huge! But it's weekend and I felt the need to write! I'll try to keep my updates at least once per week. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

---

James now understood why impatience was always depicted as a person tapping his or her foot. He imagined that his leg was tapping so fast that he creating a constant hum of his shoe on the stone; in reality he was just fidgeting restlessly.

"The House Cup no longer stands of having our name on it this year, don't disappoint me by giving the Quidditch Cup away too." McGonagall was saying.

James heard about two words out of her speech: 'Quidditch' and 'away'. It was the latter that he wanted the most.

"Mr. Potter, at least pretend that you've heard what I've said like you usually do!" The Professor snapped but sighed when her student just blinked blankly at her. Still, it was nothing new, student love was always the same but James Potter and Lily Evans did have a special ring around them, it reminded of her own school days-

Minerva pulled on breaks on at that. "Fine Potter, you may go."

He'd apparently heard that part with absolutely no problem because he was half turned in the direction Lily had left in and would have sprinted down the corridor had a heavy crash not caused them both to jump.

_Lily_!

Her name and face flashed in red danger lights all around James' head and he was tearing down the corridor. In his eyes he could see all the Grievers surrounding her and somehow Lily was horribly aware of what they represented.

When he arrived, his heart was pounding not so much from the run as from the dread of seeing Lily. The first thing he saw was the pieces of disjointed armor that lay scattered about the carpet, next he saw Lily sit back away from Brent rubbing her knees with a frown. For a split second his mind did not register what it was that felt so completely wrong with what he was seeing.

He blinked twice more before closing his eyes completely. _The Grievers, they're gone._ It was like an answered prayer but no prayer could ever feel this suspicious or fragile. He relaxed his eyelids and opened again...

There they were. The excited Grievers were gathered at such a density that Lily looked almost obscured in their smothering blanket. One more blink and they were gone. Blink. There they were again. Blink. Gone. It was as if they were playing some sort of morbid 'now you see me now you don't' trick with his eyes.

One final decisive blink and they did not reappear. Confused James took a step closer to Lily. Cautiously he blinked a few good times to check that they weren't pulling a sly one and weren't waiting to spring a surprise on him. But finally satisfied that he could see no suspicious shadow lurking or feel any change in the gravity around him he felt a genuine grin spread on his face.

Maybe, just maybe, this was it! The grief was over and Lily came out relatively unscathed! Well at least she looked unscathed. He gave her a once over scan and decided that she was okay although he was more worried about her expression. She had her right brow arched and she looked back at him as if he'd just done a monkey dance.

"Are you feeling all right?" She asked him as if expecting him to repeat the monkey dance he had just performed. It was then that James realized that he had spent a good few minutes blinking in an exaggerating and excessive manner.

Brent was also looking at him as if he too thought he was mad. Turning around confirmed that McGonagall had a similar expression etched on her face.

Clearing his throat James raked a hand through his damp hair and grinned. "Never been better!" He went over to her and held out a hand. "Are you hurt?" he asked as much out of concern as wanting to draw attention away from himself. "What happened?"

Lily took his offer and stood up brushing her skirt. "Maybe a bruise on my shin. Peeves happened. He pushed the armor off the balcony above and Brent was right below it."

"Oh." It didn't take a genius to work out that Lily had pushed him out of the path of a certain crash just in time.

"Yes, about that. I did see it coming but I was just a touch preoccupied. Might have taken me just a second more to get out of the way myself, but anyway thank you for saving me." Brent said quickly, also getting up. He picked up his bag and waved. "Cheerio then!"

"He makes it sound like we should award him a medal or something." James huffed.

"Oh shush, you know what he's like." Lily said with a smile while having a rummage in her bag. "I need to go back to my room, I forgot my ink."

"We can use mine." He protested. The Grievers were nowhere to be seen but that didn't erase his sense of dread.

"Yeah but my one changes color as you write. Does your ink do that?" she teased.

James appeared thoughtful. "Well, at the moment it writes only in black but I'm sure I can figure out a spell that will fix it."

"That's a lot of effort. It'll be easier for me to get mine. Where are you going?" she added when James made a move to follow her.

"Going with you."

Lily grimaced. "You know, I think it's very sweet how you're always waiting around with me and going everywhere with me." She paused briefly trying to pick her words carefully. "But urm...don't you think that it will ruin your guy image or something?" What she had really intended to say was that she found it a bit overwhelming and at times smothering.

James looked puzzled for a split second but it soon was clear. He had literally been tailing her for the past day. As much as he loved her company, if situation had been reversed he would have been feeling quite claustrophobic over the obsessive attention. He chuckled. "What so what you really mean is that I'm ruining your girl image. It's not cool to have you boyfriend with you all the time?"

"Well yeah!" Lily laughed. "Well go ahead to the hall and I'll be there in five minutes, if not send out a search team for me."

"Will do." He promised with the intention of leading the search team if need be.

"Take my bag down to the hall with you please." She handed it to him and almost skipped away feeling like nothing in the world could go wrong.

James watched her leave reluctantly. As much as the feeling of safety from the Grievers had returned he could not help but feel paranoid. He checked his watched and headed for the hall. Neither he nor Lily noticed that McGonagall had slipped away, beckoned by someone with something grave to tell.

---

Once seated James found the Morning paper already on the table and he turned straight to the back in the Property sales section.

A minute or two later Sirius dropped into a seat opposite him muttering under his breath. He was hunched over and he had his cloak pulled up around his ears.

"Bloody cold." He poured himself a cup of tea. "Is that a bit of egg on my plate or has your flying chicken been in today?" he complained.

"Tatty has been here but she didn't do anything because you weren't around." James replied without taking his eyes off the paper.

"Is it me or is that cat getting fat?"

James flicked a glance at Nutmeg whom he hadn't noticed arrive at the table. He reached over and poured a saucer of warm milk. Maybe she did seem a bit chubby but she was still very cute.

"You're over feeding that ball of fluff." Sirius commented.

"Bright ray of sunshine you are today!" James said with humor.

"Well if I hadn't been woken up so damn early! Couldn't get back to sleep. I think I'm starting to feel ill anyway."

"Go see Pomfrey, she's got this great ginger tea that will zap you right out of any cold. It'll make you smoke out of your ears for a bit but other than that it's good."

"Maybe later." Sirius sniffed. "What are you looking at?"

"Flats and houses."

"What for?"

"I can't live with my parents forever! I thought that with graduation so near it was about time I started looking for a place of my own."

"I thought you were coming to live with me!" Sirius said with some surprise. "I made sure the place I got was big enough for all four of us!"

"I'm not so sure Lily is going to like living with four guys."

Sirius' usual grin slipped into place. "Oh, so this is what it's all about! Looking for a love nest are we? Had enough of the broom closet?"

James flicked the crust of his toast at him. "Unlike _you_ I have standards. As well as a perfect understanding of basic hygiene."

"Pah! Who needs to buy a whole house for a bit of nookie! No seriously, I really do have a room ready for you if you want to move out."

"Good I'll be there whenever I can't be bothered to go home." James pointed at a random advertised flat.

"Okay, if you want." After a moment he spoke again. "You seem awfully happy considering the state you were in this morning." James filled Sirius in on the falling armor. "You really think that's it?" Sirius asked when he had finished.

Once again James felt as if his fragile hope was balancing on the tip of a sword but he shrugged. "I like to think that's it, or I'd still be able to see them right?"

"Yeah...or the spell could have worn off." Sirius said with unsettling reason.

"Could be." James said tightly aware that he'd left Lily return to her room by herself.

Noticing the effect this had on his friend Sirius decided that the mood needed to be lightened; he peered over at the paper. "How about that one?" he asked pointing at a picture of a bungalow.

"I don't think Lily will like that one."

"This one?"

"No she'll hate that."

Sirius' eyebrows went up and he began to randomize each colourful picture but all of James' comments always involved Lily in one way or another. "You're making out that you two are moving in together once you graduate." He said finally.

"What? Of course not!" James exclaimed in surprise but then he thought about it. It did seem a lot like that. He hadn't intentionally thought about it but it just seemed that whenever he thought about the 'what next' in his future she automatically became part of it.

"You guys haven't been together that long. That's a lot of commitment." Sirius said voicing James' concern.

Now that Sirius had said it James felt a little shaky. What was he doing? In one movement he had the newspaper closed. "Whoa, that was scary."

Sirius nodded solemnly. "I almost lost you there mate."

James shook his head and straightened the paper, this time focusing on the headlines. "You-Know-Who has killed again." He said gravely as he skimmed the article. "Another death list..." He scanned the list to see if there were any names he recognized. His eyes reached the end of the list before something he'd seen made him do a double take. "Oh shit..."

---

**A/N:** What do you think happens next??????


	39. Filthy Little Witch

**A/N**: Dear all! Apologies for such a late update but things at uni have grown hectic! This chapter does a lot of time skipping so please bear with it but it's just that a lot needed to happen. I think one or two significant snippets of information come out in this one but because it's taken me so long to write it I've forgotten most of them!

---

"Hello Professor!" Lily greeted happily as she skipped down the last few steps from the dormitories. Her eyes flicked over to the tall figure to McGonagall's side and immediately noted a difference in Dumbledore's usual amiable features. "Morning Sir!" she added with somewhat caution. There was something wrong, Professor Dumbledore never looked like that; his mouth was pressed into a thin line and his eyes were far from twinkling but ice cold. Moreover, in all her years at Hogwarts she had never seen the Headmaster step foot into the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Good Morning Miss. Evans." He replied his voice giving nothing away but all the same Lily grew more uncomfortable. "If you would care to join me at my office please?"

"This way, dear." McGonagall guided her out with a hand on her back. Lily was now very confused, never had McGonagall projected such a...a softened image of herself. She cared a great deal for her students of course but never had she so openly shown so.

In this confused state Lily followed the Headmaster and Professor down the corridor with little idea that in just a moments time, no path she would ever step foot on would not be influenced by what they had to tell.

---

From a far enough distance to escape detection a certain shadow lurked. It was not an insubstantial Griever but a person of flesh and blood. The malcontent of this particular shadow was not to be taken lightly; it rivaled that of a Griever; bound from spite and spun out of malice. With a will beyond its control it could do no more than serve its master and become the lowest of all creatures...a _spy_.

---

Lily was no longer aware of herself, the office had somehow blurred and she thought everything had grayed until a tiny voice in her conscious mind told her to wait before slipping into darkness all together.

"I...I...need to... see Petunia. I want to see my sister." She managed firmly once she had proper grasp of her words. She did not hear anything else that was said to her but at last McGonagall stood up and she followed her wordlessly; aware that they were leaving Hogwarts and taking the well worn path down to Hogsmeade. Once inside the village she followed the professor into the Hog's Head until they stood in front of a roaring green fire.

McGonagall placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "There will be an Official waiting for you on the other side. St. Thomas is the place." There was little more that she could say and she stepped back letting Lily have the space to jump.

"St. Thomas." Lily croaked and stepped into the fire. The sensation was quite unlike any that she had ever felt in her previous Floo journeys. She was falling more than twirling and in a flash she landed on her feet in a cluttered janitor's room.

Lily gulped. She still felt like she was falling but a strong and bony hand reached out and gripped her about the elbow. "This way Miss Evans." The kindly looking wizard said and led her out of the closet into a busy hospital corridor. At once the noise burst onto her and she took a few seconds to adjust. Muggles were everywhere but they paid no attention to her or her strange school uniform. Although she could see a fair number of wizards undoubtedly sent from the Ministry of Magic to work on Muggle memories loitering about.

To the far right Lily spotted her sister who was hunched over on her knees on a seat. A large man sat next to her seemingly comforting her. Seeing her sister brought a hard lump to her throat and she almost went running to her before she remembered one of the 'rules' that Petunia had made for her. Lily stopped suddenly, lost in a memory...

"_Muuuuuum!" Petunia wailed. _

"_Honey, you have to learn to accept what your sister is. At the end of the day, she will always be your little sister and there is nothing you can do to change that!" Diane said leaving no room for argument._

"_FINE!" The then teenaged Petunia huffed and dragged her eleven-year-old sister up by the hand. She still held her hand back then, Lily remembered fondly. Pulling her up the stairs, Petunia led her to her room and dumped her in front of her desk and shoved a pen and paper in her hand. "If I can't change your freaky ways then we are going to have to make up a lot of rules to control it!" she announced. "Now listen carefully, I want you to write all of this down. Number one: Never mention this to anyone! If neighbors ask just tell them you are at a Boarding school far far away..." _

_The then Lily obediently picked up the pen and began to write down the dictation. One by one she continued to write. "...Rule Number thirty: When I'm with my friends, under no circumstance are you to show your face. If you have to I don't want you to speak at all." And so forth until at the very end she said, "Now sign it."_

_Lily printed her name as neatly as she could before the papers were snatched away. Petunia had them pinned up on her notice board for the first year or so before her dislike for magic grew to such epic proportions that Lily came home one holiday to find them ripped off._

---

Over time Lily forgot many of those rules and sometimes broke them just to annoy her sister but now for some strange reason rule number thirty came back. Straying aside she patiently waited becoming quite unawares of her surrounding until at last the man she now recognized as Vernon moved away.

"Petunia."

Petunia's head snapped up at the voice of her sister. Lily flinched back at the angry red eyed stare her sister shot at her. "How dare- how dare you come here!" she hissed as low as she could control.

Lily could feel her face crumple and her voice came out like a lost child's. "I wanted to see Mum and Dad."

Petunia was crying openly now but none of the tears could stop the rage she felt deep inside. "I will not let you harm them anymore! Never will you go near them ever again!" Lily thought that Petunia might have hit her but her sister's muscles had locked and all she could do was clench her fists. "It's you! You...all you're _fault_!" she sobbed.

"I...I..." Lily could find nothing to say.

Petunia's head snapped up and this time she did strike out. Lily reeled back and raised a hand to her stinging cheek. "You what? What can you say? You've killed you own Mother and Father you _filthy little witch_!"

Lily staggered back. It was _real_. Everything that Dumbledore had said to her in his office came flooding back with a frightening reality punch. She wouldn't believe it; she hadn't believed it; she had even blocked it out until Petunia had made it _real_.

The forgotten Official was suddenly there pulling her away. He'd silently witnessed the whole scene and would later report back to Dumbledore with great sympathy. Away he led her until they were outside and into the cold winds by the River Thames outside.

Lily slumped onto the barrier slipping somewhere between shock and back into denial. Her breaths came out raggedly and she seemed like she might pass out. With a last surge of effort she pulled her wand from her pocket and threw it over head with as much might as she could. The sleek wand soared out, spinning as it flew in a wide arc before it finally splashed into the calm murky gray water. Lily watched as it slowly sank lower and lower into the darkness below...

---

James dropped the paper onto the table and raked a hand through his damp hair and fell into a stunned silence. Across from him Sirius was frowning and he reached over to pick up the paper. He scanned it.

"Is this 'Evans', _the Evans_?" he asked with some dreaded caution.

James could only nod. Diane and Harry are...were... James found it hard to gather his thoughts. It seemed like just yesterday he was complimenting Diane's cooking and laughing with Harry and now...now they had become a statistic... James picked up the paper again feeling a deep loathing for the printed sheets and hated it even more for it's content.

"Shit." Sirius echoed his initial reaction.

James scrunched the newspaper up into a ball and threw it at the table. "This should not have happened!" trying to recompose his command on rational thoughts. He shouldn't be angry at a piece of paper reporting tragedy he should be angry at the source. "_Voldemort_." He said with poison.

Peter and Remus choose that exact second to reach the table and Peter squeaked and covered his ears.

"That was unnecessarily loud." Remus said pointedly as he sat down.

"You shouldn't say his name out loud like that." Peter warned while casting paranoid glances around. "He might hear you and then you'll be in trouble-" he stopped when he saw the dark stare James had on him.

"_Voldemort_ is _killing_." He said to Peter. "Are we supposed to just sit here while he chooses and picks who next he wants wiped out?"

Convinced that he had a point Peter uncharacteristically argued back for which he was very proud of himself. "But we're students, we can't do anything against a wizard like him."

James leaned forward his eyes darkened. "We won't be students for much longer and then what would we do without Hogwarts for protection?" Peter gulped, he was no longer so sure that he had a point. "The more we fear him the more control he has. I for one am not going to just here like a duck and let him rule us like toys."

"Quite right, Mr. Potter." Dumbledore said surprising everyone from behind his eyes bright. "I agree. No one indeed is immune to these dark times." His voice softened and reached out and patted James on the shoulder. "However, there are those that aren't sitting around 'like ducks' as you say." He trailed off seemingly like he wasn't going to say more but after a pause he did. "We're not looking for heroes but for those that stand for what is important to them." With that he swept away to his seat at the front.

"That was enigmatic." Sirius thought aloud. "I've never seen him look so serious."

"Except when the death list came out last time." Remus reminded.

James felt more confused than the others and could not help but keep replaying the Headmaster's words in his mind. Something in it did not strike him as simply one of the many eccentricities that the old man harbored. "Who's the 'we'?" he asked.

"What?"

"The 'we' when he said 'we're not looking for heroes'."

Remus shrugged. "I thought he meant the school, as in 'the school isn't looking for heroes so don't do something stupid James' kind of meaning." He said with a faithful guess that James would try to do something stupid.

"Right." James fell quiet still not quite convinced. Was there a third party that Dumbledore was referring to as a 'we'? Something that was set up to fight against Voldemort specifically? He hadn't heard about it and it appeared that no one else in the Wizarding community seemed to know about it-

"Oh." Remus exclaimed loudly interrupting James' thoughts. He'd picked up the newspaper. He gave James a sympathetic look. "Is she okay?"

James was on his feet in a flash. How could he have not thought about it? He had been so consumed with his own reaction that he had not even considered those of Lily. Her parents... he groaned inwardly at his callousness and made a run back to the tower.


	40. Darker Yet

**A/N:** Many thanks for all reviews, they do help me write! The next 'big thing' that happens will probably take place away from Hogwarts. **gasp** No, they haven't graduated yet but I felt rather inspired by London while I was strolling along the Thames today.

**TO:** Ember marie. I really appreciate you honest reviews and don't think they are harsh at all. I hope that I will show considerable improvement with the upcoming chapters! XXx

---

James arrived back at the common room and found himself in front of a sight that had proven to be a nuisance far too many times already. The stairs.

"Lily!" he shouted up the stairs. "LILY!" he shouted louder, aware that he was probably waking up a lot of late sleepers. He ducked as a small cauldron was thrown down the stairs at him.

"You have got to find a different way of getting your girlfriend's attention Potter!" the owner of the cauldron shouted.

"Sorry! Hey! Could you just get Lily down for me please!"

"Sod off Potter!"

"I guess not then!" James sighed already moving back to make room for a run up. With a few stretches to limber up he started to run.

"Oh no you don't Potter!" James screeched to a stop surprised at being shouted at from someone behind.

"What is it with people nowadays? Is it the new thing to call me by my surname? Whatever happened to 'James'?" he demanded as he turned to see who it was. It was bad enough having Lily calling him Potter, at least she only did it when she was angry with him. "Professor!" he said quite taken aback by seeing McGonagall. "Uh, Hi!" he added sheepishly at having snapped at her without meaning to.

"Step one foot on those steps and you will finish off the rest of your last year in detention." She warned her voice low and threatening.

James quickly straightened himself up and pasted an incredulous look on his face. "Me? Up those stairs? Nah uh! I was just...running. Morning jog, keeps the heart healthy." The lie he gave didn't matter because it had been obvious what he was trying to do but nonetheless, giving an answer was better than no answer.

"I suspect you were looking for Lily."

James felt inclined to offer a sarcastic answer but decided now was not the best of times. "Yes I was." He admitted.

"You won't find her in her room." The Professor said, her voice changing ever so slightly. The corners of her pale face pinching.

"I need to find her. The morning paper...there's something she needs to know." James explained feeling his hot antagonistic inclination dissipate and the sadness seep back.

She nodded, I know. "The Headmaster and I...we've informed her of...the tragedy."

"...I see."

"She's not in the castle at the moment, she requested to see her sister. I expect her to return back to the school in a few hours." McGonagall turned to go but she paused at the door. "These are dark times James, and there's no doubt that they will get darker yet." She said without turning and then swiftly left.

James stood alone in the common room, left with nothing but her echo of Dumbledore's ominous words. They ricocheted in his mind; throwing themselves from wall to wall until they stabbed deep into a niche. Already, he knew it was beginning its growth; a festering malignant tumor that he would carry for the rest of his life. _Darker yet._

---

The Officer respectfully left Lily to grieve by herself although he never took his eyes off her for a few seconds. In all his twenty years of working for the Ministry he had seen more times than he could count the damage of losing a loved one could do to a person. All forms of rational thought becomes something of a memory and life itself becomes all but the faintest smudge that would float away with one careless breath.

Seven metres of space he stood away from her. She had seven metres to grieve in and he had seven metres to cover before he would reach if she were to do something he had to prevent. In most circumstance it was seven metres too much and all the while he was constantly aware that any second that she could decide that she had had enough she could throw herself over the bridge and plunge into the icy water below.

This Lily Evans however showed no inclination to do such a thing. She sat at the base of railing leaning her back against it. She had fallen to that position after disposing of her wand and hadn't moved since.

Life didn't stop to see her fallen on the concrete floor of the bridge; busy Londoners continued to stride past oblivious to her presence. Locked in her seven metres worth of space Lily too ignored them and the busy traffic lost in her own solitude.

The Officer knew the routine well, first came the shock then came the denial, then the hysterics. Grief came in many forms but it usually preferred to manifest itself in that general order. He waited, expecting the girl to start crying at any minute but an hour slipped by, followed by a second and it was fast approaching the third and still there was no sign of the last stage of grief. Rubbing his stiff joints he ambled up to the girl and he laid a hand on her unresponsive shoulder.

"Dumbledore will be expecting you back safely at the school soon." He said. She nodded vaguely.

"Okay, just give me a minute. I need to clean up at the Ladies'." She said. Her control over speech was perfect although her expression remained strangely neutral.

"Sure." He answered although he was very unsure at her reaction. "There are some public toilets just at beyond the stairs. She nodded politely and stood up giving her robe two exacting swipes to smooth down the creases.

"I'll be right back." She promised although she had no intention of keeping it. With no reason to prevent her from leaving his sight the Officer stepped aside.

Lily walked slowly off the bridge however she did not go straight ahead to where he had pointed but she ducked down the stairs. Her measured steps gave way to a quick patter of her heels as she took the stairs two at a time and jumped off the last three. Alongside the meandering river she ran, past the London Aquarium and the famous theaters she ran until she thought her lungs might collapse and her vision blurred.

Chest heaving she doubled over by a heavily graffiti covered wall unsure whether the physical or emotional pain hurt more. The area was infamously known to be populated with young teens testing out their skills on skateboards but today it was thankfully empty.

Knowing that the Officer would be searching for her soon she spurred her legs to work and she entered a narrow alley that stank of urine and was further decorated more by swollen letters sprayed painted from cans. Still, not matter how unpleasant her unfamiliar surrounding was it was a much better refuge than the large comfort of the huge castle that had been the core of her 'freakishness' for so many years now. At that moment she would gladly chop years off her life in exchange for her not to return to it and be a witch.

With that thought she ventured deeper into the dingy alley that seemed dark even though it had yet to be noon. She heard voices coming from an offshoot ahead and contemplated choosing another alley to hide in before she heard something that made her freeze.

"...the Dark Lord will be very pleased. Well done Tether." Came a voice.

"I will do whatever the Lord asks of me." A monotone voice answered.

Lily recognized neither voice but she did recognize two names. First and foremost she recognized "Dark Lord" with a gut-wrenching reminder. Secondly the name "Tether" was highly familiar.

_Tether. Tether. Tether. Tether. David Tether!_

David Tether was a young man who graduated from Hogwarts the year Lily arrived for her first year. He was a top student and had won many prizes some of which were still displayed in the trophy room. After his graduation he had joined the Ministry of Magic and had quickly been promoted to Head of Public Relations and Personnel department.

One peak around the corner confirmed that her suspicions had been correct. He had changed little since she had last seen him. Same mousy brown hair and slanted eyes on a lanky body. Her heart began to pick up speed again. What was he doing here? Her internal sirens were going off but she felt compelled to ease closer and listen.

"Do you wish to be part of the raid? The Lord has yet to choose when but I expect it will be very soon." The first voice cackled. "That old fool thinks his antique school is impenetrable. Hogwarts is nothing but a stepping stone for our Lord, I'll tell you that!"

"I cannot be part of the raid." Tether said. "It would look too suspicious. My roles lies within the Ministry- WHO'S THERE?!"

Lily jumped. She was certain she had not made any noises. A split second later she realized that she was not the only one spying on the plotting twosome but another was nearby and it was he who had made the noise. It was too late; she had taken a step back and had kicked back an empty can. The rust tin clattered loudly across the narrow alley.

Panicked, Lily backed off and was running. Feet pounded behind her and she picked up speed until suddenly something - a spell hit her from behind and she pitched forward into the deep dark of unconsciousness.

---

As the day wore on anxiousness drove James' bad mood into the depths of the worst black clouds. A lot of hours had passed and Lily still hadn't returned. He went through each lesson paying little attention and by early evening he was at McGonagall's office door knocking apprehensively.

"Come in."

James entered the orderly office. "Professor. Lily still hasn't returned yet."

"No James, she hasn't."

He stood in front of her desk waiting expectantly for an explanation but she just stared back at him.

"Is she okay?" He asked feeling that his question was rhetorical.

She held is gaze for a few seconds longer. "I don't know James, I'm sorry." Her truthful answer surprised James; uncertainty was not something Head of Gryffindor showed often. "She ran away from the assigned Officer. The Headmaster has arranged for a search. We can only wait." She said with emphasis on 'wait'.

Stunned, James left her office a few minutes later. He went straight to the Common Room where he knew Sirius, Remus and Peter were waiting for him.

"Any news?" Remus asked hopefully.

James shook his head. "She ran away."

"She what?" Sirius choked on his sweet. Remus slapped him on the back a few times until his coughing subsided. "Not good."

**A/N**: I'm not quite happy with this chapter but I do like the next one that I'm working on!


	41. A Dream & A Resolved Mind

**A/N:** Must admit that this chappie was hard to get out because I'd already written one or two chapters that came over after it and I loved those! So it seemed that when I was writing this one I was filling in a hole that bridged to those later chapters.

**TO:** Ember Marie, I have reread some of the earlier chapters and was pleasantly surprised when I didn't want to cringe and rip my throat out afterwards! It is weird rereading stuff though because I rarely do it. Anyways, what stuck with me most when I did reread them was that they were generally a lot more light hearted. I think that that definitely had a lot to do with the type of ideas because it gave a lot more room to make up silly ideas. Confession...I loved writing those! But the issues surrounding these chapters are a bit too sensitive and I'm pretty much dancing around everything wondering how to word it all. No worries though things will get a bit more light hearted, I mean, look at the characters! I don't think they'd lose themselves in misery.

TO: Rieux, I'm so glad that you love Sirius so much. He's one of my favourites too because he's so fun to write about!

---

Lily was dreaming. It was strange that she knew she was dreaming at all but somewhere along the line she was caught up in an intricate mess of her jumbled thoughts landing her in a hybrid of the past and present.

Like old times she was arguing with James. The constant bickering that had been so unavoidable in the past few years seemed to have grown intensely personal. She found herself glaring at him, which was not the least unusual however, this time she was also looking at him somewhat from the perspective of his girlfriend as well.

He was handsome, her dreaming self thought with a jolt. Maybe not with a devastating movie star quality but attractive enough for her to want to drop whatever it was she had been arguing about. Maybe now that they were actually dating his pleasing features highlighted by a kind of boyish innocence was having too much of an affect on her and she lost the will to disagree with him. Dreaming Lily was nodding, agreeing to something that he was saying although she had no idea what it was. Like a strung up puppet she continued to nod.

In an instant she found that someone had turned up the volume and she could hear him.

James voice was as sweet and persuasive as an actor's was. He was able to create moods and build drama with his voice and he could employ it so subtly that even she fell under his spell.

_Spell._

Lily found him charming. A perfect charmer with plenty of wit under his mellifluous tones. She suddenly felt compelled to hold him. To squeeze him like a tube of gel to see if there was any truth under it all after the charm had been squeezed out.

_Spell._

..._What do you see? Hogwarts..._

He said. Lily was still nodding.

_Spell_.

This wasn't James. Lily knew or at least her sleeping mind knew it although it was having a hard time arguing against her audio and visual senses.

_Not James._

The though floated by but it was nowhere as strong as the very image that was in front of her. He held out his hand and she reached out to grasp it but suddenly it wasn't there! She looked up expecting to see James but instead she saw his face contort and unfamiliar face appeared although he was still wearing James' uniform.

Like James this stranger had a head full of jet-black hair, he was older with cold good looking features that twisted into an expression Lily knew James could never achieve. It was a cruel smile, the corners of his mouth lifted whilst the rest of his face remained bland except for his eyes.

Lily shivered not quite daring to look into them. But somehow they looked into her. They seemed to pierce like icicles through her cornea and straight into her brain where she could feel them reading her thoughts and memories like a book...the longer his mental hold dragged the more she felt like he was prodding her thoughts, almost peeling through them layer by layer.

Lily whimpered but she was frozen in the bottomless stare until at last she felt him withdraw from her mind with a sneer. Whatever he had seen in it he was not overly impressed. Just as suddenly as he had appeared she was released and she reeled back and was faced by a more familiar face. _Mum_?

..._You're under a spell..._

She said.

...._ Wake up!..._

Diane dissolved away and a larger than life form of Petunia was there.

..._You filthy little witch!_

Lily jolted awake confused by the remnants of her conflicting dream. Her heart was hammering away letting her know that she was still alive. She shuddered and sat up wrapping her arms around her knees. _Legilimency_. Lily didn't need to be a super clever witch to work that one out. Someone had taken advantage of her weakened state to invade her mind. Still shaking Lily explored her head with her hands, half expecting there to be holes where that man's eyes had driven a hole that went straight through her. Although she felt no such thing she felt drained and it was a full minute later before it occurred to her to look at the new surroundings she had woken up to.

It was dark. She was sitting on worn rough boards. All around her looming structures towered around covered in dusty white sheets. The assortment of vague furniture shaped ghosts were unnerving and Lily automatically scooted away from the centre of the room where she had been dumped until her back was pressed against a cold concrete wall. The room was not overly large but it felt spacious enough for her to feel unsafe.

In the chilled air she looked for as much detail as she could in the dimness until she spotted two doors on the far wall. With barely a glimmer of hope she stood up and headed for them.

---

James rubbed his eyes. The night before had been a long night. Waiting was not something he was particularly good at. Feeling disgruntled he headed to the main hall where he hoped he would receive good news. A high pitched wail greeted him at the bottom of the stairs.

"Jaaaaaames!"

James very much wanted to jam his fingers into his ears but before he could react Cerise was in his face.

"Jaaaames! He's going To AtTack HogWARTS!" She shrieked at roughly the same decibel as she had squealed his name. Fearing for his hearing James took a step back.

"Calm down, Cerise." He said with more patience than he felt. "Who is attacking Hogwarts?"

Cerise drew closer her eyes shifted from side to side before they landed on him. "_You-Know-Who_." She said as if it had already occurred.

James was off in an instant. He sprinted out heading directly for the Hall where most of the gossip or news was ever exchanged in the school. He leapt down the stairs and took several short cuts and in less than two minutes he managed to travel the distance that usually took at least six minutes walking at a brisk pace.

"Moony!" he plonked himself at a bench noticing the hushed atmosphere as he did. "Spill, what have I missed?" Somehow in the space of the few hours that he had been asleep news of an attack had launched and already nearly every last student knew about it except him.

"You see the teachers?"

James swiveled in his seat to look at the front of the hall where the teachers usually sat during meal times but today not a single one was to be seen. "No."

"That proves that there's some truth in the rumors. I bet their all having a meeting. Probably planning how they can protect Hogwarts if need be. Don't bother with that." He said to James when he saw him pick up a copy of the Daily Prophet. "It won't tell us something as important as that." He said, his sarcasm as clear as day.

"Anyone know when?"

Remus shook his head.

"Where did all this suddenly spring from?"

Remus moved closer not wanting anyone to overhear. "Just a little over an hour ago a man burst into the hall and he went straight to Dumbledore. A few first years overhead him say that Voldemort plans to bring Dumbledore and Hogwarts down once and for all."

"He's Dumbledore's spy?"

"I think so, I don't think he's a Death Eater though, just someone posted out to keep an eye out. What are you doing?" Remus asked because James stood up.

James was surprised. "To eavesdrop of course!"

"Sit down." Remus pulled his friend back down shaking his head with a sigh. "It's all seen too."

"Oh?" James raised his eyebrows.

"Let's just say we going to owe a certain rat. His ears a very useful, he's small too and would go unnoticed."

"Oh, I see." James said knowingly. He wondered how he'd even doubted that Remus would prefer to sit and not know anything in the first place, Moony was a Marauder after all; eavesdropping was like a second nature to them.

Now they had to wait, wait until they had finished talking and wait until it was safe for Peter to return. "Has there been any news of Lily?"

Remus shook his head. "Sorry mate."

James stirred his tea in silence pondering over rumors of the attack and Lily. Everything seemed so...unreal. He'd been at Hogwarts for so long that everyday he woke up expecting it to be there the next day and the next, and the day after that. Now that the possibility that someone might come and deliberately destroy it...it...it was incomprehensible. He was outraged. His grip on his mug tightened.

"Look, Wormtail's back."

James looked up eagerly as Peter came running to the table slightly out of breath. "Hi guys!" he grinned proudly, his cheeks flushed from excitement. He could see the other two were desperate to know what he had heard.

"Well?" Remus prompted.

"It true." Peter said knowingly as if it were he himself who had brought the news to Dumbledore. Remus and James exchanged worried looks. "Well, at least that guy, what was his name? Wicks. That's it. Wicks said that that's what he heard from some Death Eaters. He's a very brave man. He almost got caught too! But luckily he escaped but he said some other girl got caught. He thought she was also working for Dumbledore but Dumbledore denies it."

"What so he was spying on some Death Eaters and they let it slip?" Remus rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"Yep."

"And there was a second person spying?"

"Yep."

"'A right bonnie lass she was, I have a soft spot for fiery red heads me self.'" Peter imitated Wicks faithfully with a heavy accent. James choked on his tea and Remus frowned.

"And she's not a spy for Dumbledore?" Remus asked with dread while James fought his spluttering.

"Nope, Wicks thinks she's too young looking."

"..." Silence hovered over their heads even when James had recovered. Only Peter was unaware of what had suddenly killed the conversation. He sat uncomfortably looking from James to Remus and then back again. Remus stared at the table thoughtfully whilst James sat sullenly, his forehead creased with worry.

"It could be a very big coincidence." Remus said after the silence stretched thickly for several minutes. James opened his mouth but before any words came out Remus continued. "Lot of girls in London have red hair."

Peter sat, completely and utterly confused. He didn't want to say anything just in case the other guys thought he was dumb or anything.

Like Peter, James didn't say anything neither. Big coincidence or not, the fact that Lily was missing in London and some spy had reported seeing a girl with red hair being abducted by Death Eaters...that was more than enough to get him up and moving.

However he remained seated, already he weaving an intricate plan of escape from Hogwarts to London. Be it for the sake of his peace of mind, to find Lily or for the sake of the poor abducted girl even if it weren't her, James decided that he owed to himself and Lily to get off his ass and do something about it.

---

**A/N:** Dramatic drum roll!!!! Yeah, this chapter was a very big 'prepare for the big thing' thing. Keep reading people! xXx


	42. Something Stupid

**TO:** Taiyourshoes, wow! Thank you soooo much! I mean really!!! When I read your review the writer in me went _voom_ and I was so happy!! Much appreciated!!! XXx

- - -

James lay still in his bed until Sirus was snoring softly and he could hear the even breathing of the others. Exercising all his skills of stealth he'd developed over the years of sneaking about after dark, he slid out of his bed fully dressed. Not even the floorboards creaked underfoot as he tiptoed out of the room with his broom and Invisibility cloak. He carefully avoided the certain _click_ of the door closing by leaving the door ajar. He also made sure that the gap was small enough so that no light from the corridor could shine through.

The rest the trek though nighttime Hogwarts was easier. His feet knew the floors well and he avoided any squeaky boards or walking in any direct light bright enough to cast a definite shadow almost automatically.

James had reached the second floor on the East wing when a voice surprised him.

"The kitchen is the other way."

"I'm not going to the kitchen, Moony." James said recognizing the voice even before he turned around to see him standing behind him with crossed arms.

"I know you're not." He sighed, clearly kinowing very well what his friend was up to. James didn't reply. "I thought you weren't going to do anything stupid, James? Because in case you haven't noticed this is almighty stupid!"

James could see that Remus was being deadly serious; it had been ages since he'd called James by his name. With deliberate actions he decisively threw the Invisibility cloak around himself and fastened it about his neck. Now all Remus could see was his best friend's head bobbing up and down as he walked away, broom partially hidden in his hand.

"James!" he snapped as he followed the bobbing head to the owlery.

"I've made my mind up, Moony. I'm going to get her."

"You don't even know where she is! How do you expect to find her in London? In fact, how the hell do you think you're going to get there?!"

James whistled and Tattlaevore swooped down silently and landed on his exposed arm. "Good girl." He stroked her soft head twice.

"Do you think you're going to fly to London?! It's going to be one heck of a long flight and I suspect you'll have quite an audience as you go!"

"No." James replied with a sickening calmness to his voice. "I'll travel by floo from Hogsmeade and then Tatty will show me the way. Nobody will see me because I'll be wearing my cloak. It's too dark for anyone to discern a bunch of twigs flying in the air."

Remus stared at the owl and then at James. "Are you insane?"

"No. My mind is in perfect health. Tatty will know where she is. Owls always find the recipient for letters."

"It might not be her you know."

"I know."

"Okay, so what if it isn't her?"

"I'll try to get that girl out and then find Lily."

Remus rolled his eyes although he knew perfectly well that James would keep his word. But he was persistent and was determined to dissuade James from doing something he thought was insanely stupid. It was the equivalent of finding a needle in a haystack. "Have you ever thought that she ran away because she doesn't want to come back here? Even if it was her in the ally she might not even want to come back after you save her!" The tension in the room heightened and James tensed.

"She wants to come back." He said firmly. "She's a witch. She belongs here."

Remus threw his hands in the air with exasperation. "You don't get it do you?" For a moment uncertainty flickered across James' face. "Lily is Muggle born. Voldemort killed her parents _because_ their daughter is a _witch_."

"What-"

"Come on, Prongs! The connection is right there!" Remus urged.

Realization slowly dawned on James. "So she thinks it's her fault."

"Exactly!"

James was on the move. "All the more reason I need to find her." He said. "She may not be thinking right."

"She might need time." Remus suggested while following James out again.

"Even if it weren't her that got caught, anything can happen to her. It's not safe out there."

"How safe do you think Hogwarts is?" Remus snapped. That was it, the cat was out of the bag. Remus had been thinking a lot over the past few hours. All his thoughts were on Hogwarts and Dumbledore. He was eternally grateful to Dumbledore because he had accepted him when no one else had and Hogwarts was his home, the very first place where he had had friends and _even_ brothers. The safety of Hogwarts was his first priority and he would never let anyone hurt it or anything related to it.

James stopped. "What?"

"I can't believe you! You are so lost in yourself that you're going blind to the important things that are going on around you! What was we talking up just this morning?" Remus accused, he was shocked at his own outbreak but continued anyway. "Not everything in Hogwarts is as untouchable as it may seem, Prongs. Dumbledore is a powerful wizard, maybe the most powerful and he's the _only_ one who will stop Voldemort. I know that, you know that, Dumbledore knows that, don't you think Voldemort himself knows that too? And here you are, risking exclusion because Lily doesn't want to come back."

James exhaled, feeling torn but his resolve remained the same. He placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "I know." He admitted. "If the events in the past year are anything to go by, there will be a show down eventually."

"Something is going to happen and it will happen soon. At Hogwarts; a school with so many students. It's Dumbledore's obvious weakness. When it happens I think he's going to need all the help he can get. The younger years are as good as defenseless against Voldemort. If you're excluded how the hell do you think you can help Dumbledore?"

"I know. The rumors haunt me too because it has too much truth in it for comfort."

"Lily might even be safer away from the school."

"Maybe. But do you think she will be happy to stand aside if Voldemort attacks? She as part of Hogwarts as you and I. She won't stand by and watch any more than we would. Remus, I'm just trying to protect something that is important to me."

Remus fell silent realizing that nothing he could do or say would change James' mind. "Fine. I'll go with you."

"What? That goes against everything we've just been talking about! Hogwarts needs you. I need you to be here and keep an eye out."

Remus suddenly broke out in a grin. "I can't let you go off and get into trouble by yourself can I?"

James returned the grin. "One in trouble is better than all in trouble. Besides, I need you here to cover my back. And I don't want Padfoot knowing about this, he'll have his furry ass on his broom straight away and chase me like I'm a cat."

"Then we'd all be in trouble." Remus agreed. "But I'm still going."

"It'll be a full moon in a few days." James reminded gently.

"Fine, strike a sore spot!" Remus cried indignantly but knew James was right. They arrived outdoors.

"I'll be back as soon as possible."

"I'll cover for your ass."

"Like you'd do otherwise." James said and headed in the direction of Hogsmeade.

"Don't do anything stupid, Prongs."

"I'll try not to." James promised with a laugh. "You sound like my Mother, maybe you should part time with her, I'm sure she'll like sharing out the nag work!"

"Shut it, Donkey!" Remus threw back. James laughed and melted into the evening shadows.

---

**A/N:** I really liked Remus in this chapter, he shows that he fights for what he cares for too (a huge favourable OotP trait) but he's understanding enough to let James go do what he needs to do. Sure it takes him a while but he gets there.

The next chapter is one of my favourites at the moment, I hope you will love it and I like forward to reading your reviews and feedback! xXx


	43. Remote Assistance

**A/N:** Thank you wicked1 for giving me my 200th review! I know my updates haven't been as good as they used to be but guys!!! Keep reviewing! They make all this much more worthwhile! Hint!

**Disclaimer:** I haven't written one of these for a while. I don't own any of the HP characters or anything else HP related that you recognize.

---

James changed out of his uniform as soon as he could and left them in a room he'd rented at the Leaky Cauldron. He tried to blend in as best as he could in Diagon Alley although this proved to be a difficult task because the streets were practically empty. It was late, but Diagon Alley was the heart of the Wizarding Community and it had been lively every time he'd previously visited at ungodly hours of the morning. Now only a handful of people went about quietly and most of the lights were dimmed as if people were afraid to draw attention.

With his head down James left and as soon as he was out of Diagon Alley he let Tatty soar up high and he followed on his broom.

---

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

Lily slid to the floor with a whimper her fists sore with the pounding. Both doors were locked and neither had a keyhole, which meant that the lock mechanism was on the other side of the door.

So fresh in her mind was the man with the cold face that she half expected him to emerge from behind one of the sheet covered chairs to sneer at her helplessness. He would stand, taller than her, and much more powerful; his aura darker than the deepest of seas and his ill will stronger than the best of wishes.

Lily began to shake in her huddled position, her eyes darting from silhouette to silhouette fearful that her fears were a reality. Hysteria was fast rising and she wanted to laugh at her paranoia until she realized that the strange strangled cry that she could hear was herself giggling uncontrollably.

"Oh, Lily Evans. What has become of you?" she said surprised at how steady her voice sounded when she had finished her desperate laughter. "You've completely lost it. You're talking to yourself!" Again the laughter seized her, this time subsiding quicker. "What would your Mother and Father think of you if they saw you now? Their youngest daughter has finally become what their eldest daughter had predicted all along…barking mad!" This time she did not feel the need to laugh but a kind of horror spread across her features. "I'm not mad." She said with conviction but jumped when a childish voice spoke from the other side of the door she was leaning against.

"Hello?" All the hairs on the back of Lily's neck rose. "Is someone there?" The young girlish voice said this time louder yet fearfully.

In an instant Lily was on her feet. "Yes! Who is this?"

"Rebecca." Came the childish reply.

"Rebecca, I'm Lily. I'm locked in this room. Can you open the door?" Lily said with a lot of effort as to not scream and scare the little girl off.

"I can't."

Lily's heart dropped. "Why not Rebecca?"

"Because I'm tied up."

Lily's anger flared. How could anyone tie a little girl down? David Tether had a lot to answer to when she got out. _If_ she ever got out. With much of her hope deflated Lily dropped back to the floor.

"Hello? Don't leave me. I'm scared." The girl said with such an open honesty that Lily began to feel angry with herself for being useless.

"Don't worry, sweetie. It'll be all right." She said with more confidence than she felt.

"Are you going to save me?"

"Of course!" Lily responded automatically. "I'll be with you in just a bit. I've just got to get through the door first." She was on her feet again this time with anger helping her as she tossed the sheets aside and turned furniture in search for something that would help her break open the door. But there was nothing to be found in the room. With a scream Lily picked up the chair closest to her and began to slam it against the door. It bounced of upon first contact and she swung again this time much harder. Again and again the chair went into the door until it splintered to bulky pieces in her hands.

Defeated and sweating she collapsed onto the floor her hand spotted with blood where splinters had pierced the flesh. She had merely succeeded in scratching the door.

"You won't be able to get in will you?" Rebecca said rhetorically in an adult tone that belied her age.

"Sure I will, Sweetie. I just need some time." Lily replied her mind desperately searching for a solution. "Rebecca, is there another door in your room?"

"Only one."

Right, Lily had two which mean that the other untouched door led to a way out. Upon closer inspection it looked a little less sturdy than the door she had just battered but it still seemed highly unlikely that she would be able to hit her way through.

"Are we going to be here forever?"

"No, we won't."

"Why are you so sure?" Rebecca said again in a very adult way with her childish voice.

Lily thought for a minute. "Because people will realize that we are missing and come looking for us."

"They might realize that we are missing but that doesn't mean that they will come look for us." She replied with a kind of sadness that scared Lily.

"Of course they will, Sweetie." She reassured.

"Why?"

"Because they'll miss us." The little girl went silent for a while. "Rebecca?"

"Will somebody miss you?"

It was Lily's turn to go quiet. Her immediate thoughts went to her parents…yes they would have missed her. "Yes." She replied her voice thick.

"Who?"

"My Mum and Dad."

"Mine are dead." Rebecca replied as a statement.

Lily's throat closed. "M-mine too."

"How can they miss you then?"

"Because I know they love me." Rebecca fell silent again and Lily could almost hear the little girl's mind work as she thought over it herself.

"Mine do too." She said finally. "Is there anyone alive who will miss you?"

Lily sighed sadly. "Yes I think there are."

"Who?"

"Well, there's Cerise, Yoanna…James…" _James_…Lily thought longingly, what she wouldn't give to see him again. He was probably in a panic right at the moment because she hadn't returned, or maybe he still doesn't know that she'd left? But surely he would have noticed her absence by now?

"Where are they?" Rebecca asked, her childish curiosity endless.

"Hogwarts."

"Are you a witch?"

The longest silence yet passed between them. "Yes…yes I am." Lily answered finally. She rose to her knees and shuffled to kneel in front of the other door. "Rebecca? I'm going to be quiet for while because I need to concentrate. I'm still here, don't worry I'm not going to leave without you."

"Okay."

Lily faced the door with determination. "I'm a witch." She breathed and concentrated on summoning magic that she had been able to use so effortlessly before.

---

James felt like he'd been on his broom for ages before Tatty began to descend. Excited James also descended. Tatty flew silently down; her velocity seeming to increase and James followed until he realized that she had honed in on food rather than Lily.

Disappointed James landed and looked away while Tatty had her fresh dinner. Tatty didn't realize that her task was different tonight. James had scribbled Lily's name and had handed it to her but the note was blank. To her she was simply delivering a note to Lily and like normal, she could stop if she wanted and continue as she pleased as long as she got the note to the recipient in the end.

Enveloped in the darkness of the field they had landed in James looked up at the sky with a sigh. He could hope that Hogwarts was going to be all right and that Lily was somewhere safe waiting for him to turn up.

---

Sirius woke up as usual and did not notice anything amiss until mid morning when he realized that he hadn't seen James once that day. Puzzled he'd asked Remus but the answers he received were unsatisfactory so he continued to pester him all day until he grew angry and dragged Peter and Remus into an empty classroom.

"It's late, I'm tired. Where is Prongs?" Sirius shouted. Peter flinched back and kept his head down, fearful of Sirius' explosive anger. Remus continued to flick through a thick tome of spells without so much as a glance at his fuming friend. "I know something's up. Don't lie to me!" he yelled and snatched the book away to get his attention.

Remus looked up from his seat, his warm brown eyes giving nothing away. "I haven't said anything, Padfoot, so I haven't lied." He stated and crossed his arms.

For a very brief second Remus thought that his best friend was going to punch him. He saw the split second where Sirius temporarily lost control of his rage and reached for something deeper that ran through all the Blacks in his family. "Don't you dare play games with me." His voice lower and somehow more dangerous than before.

A light knock interrupted them. Peter looked at Sirius and when he gave a nod he went over to the door quickly and opened it. Rosie stepped into the classroom.

"What do you want Amiral?" Sirius snapped, clearly not in the mood.

"I'm just passing by." Rosie said with a frosty smile.

"Are you spying on us?" Sirius said suspiciously.

"No, you were shouting loud enough for everyone to hear."

Remus sat up. "There are others outside?"

"No, there's only me. Your little secret meeting is safe with me." She replied.

"What do you want?" Sirius repeated, impatient for her departure.

"Is that the way you treat a person who has some information to offer?"

Brows went up. "And what information have you got that we would possibly want?"

"I know where James has gone." She smiled.

Remus felt his muscles tense but he kept his face straight. Sirius' eyes narrowed. "And how would you know that?"

Rosie leaned against a desk and flicked a bit of lint off her skirt. "Because I saw him last night." She leaned forward and stared straight at Remus. "I saw everything."

"What did she see, Remus?" Sirius crossed his arms.

"And I wasn't the only one who saw." She continued.

Remus' jaw tightened. "Who else?"

"Lestrange."

Remus took in a slow breath and leaned back into his chair. Of all people, Lestrange had to be a witness. Sirius had always suspected him to be a Follower and with the recent rumors of Hogwarts being the next target wouldn't a rogue student be a good place to start? Rosie straightened up and came closer to the threesome.

"He hasn't told any of the teachers yet." She held his gaze steadily.

"What-?" Sirius started but Remus cut him off.

"James left last night to go find Lily." Remus said rubbing his temples.

"WHAT? By himself? I'm going to kill that damn pony when he gets back!" Sirius exploded. "Oh shit! Lestrange saw! Bloody hell, he's gonna get Prongs into right trouble if he…" he trailed off.

"But he hasn't." Remus said.

"If not to Dumbledore, who would he report this snippet of information to?" Rosie said directing the conversation to the point she was trying to make.

"Shit." Sirius exhaled sharply. "So Voldemort knows that James is out there?" He dropped into a chair. "Fuck."

"So what if he knows?" Peter asked. "It's not as if he's going to write a letter to Dumbledore to tell him that he's got a runaway student so he can get James' excluded."

Sirius covered his eyes with a hand. "Moony, explain to him because I don't think my heart can take it."

But Rosie spoke instead. "Being naïve can be a blessing sometimes." She said almost to herself before turning to Peter. "Voldemort has been threatening Dumbledore throughout the past year by killing off the parents of his Muggle students, but up till now that's all he's been doing. Now, something has happened and he's suddenly powerful enough. He's planning on taking Hogwarts down and where else better to start than to kill off one of his best students?"

"Oh." Peter's eyes went wide and he fell quiet.

Sirius looked up, his expression pained. "What worries me is how you knew about that attack. In fact, how the hell do you know so much?"

"You knew about it." Rosie replied pointedly. "I also listen a lot."

At that moment Sirius couldn't give a toss about her and certainly wasn't in a good enough mood to humor her over evasive answer. He was spurred into action. "Right, Thank you Amiral but we must get going now." He picked up his bag and reached the door but was surprised when only Peter followed. "Ur, Moony, this is you cue to move your ass." He said mildly surprised.

"We can't leave." Remus said quietly.

"What? Of course we can! We need to…ahem…" he flicked a glance at Rosie and apparently gave up on being discreet. "We need to go get Prongs back, and Evans too."

"We can't leave." Remus repeated.

"Mate, have you gone deaf? We need to get Prongs back." Sirius said incredulous that his friend wasn't cooperating. "Didn't you hear the girl? Dark evil wizard might kill our friend off. We need to get going!"

"We need to be here." Remus stood up. "Voldemort is ready to strike at any time. Dumbledore needs us to be here to protect the students."

A mixture of emotions passed across Sirius' face. At first he felt outraged that Remus wasn't leaping to James' aid, then he understood why Remus refused to go, then he tried to argue the reason. But Sirius wasn't stupid, he knew what Dumbledore's weaknesses were, which parts that could easily be exploited by someone with a bad agenda. In the end he settled with an angry outcry. When he was done with his strangled yell he regained his composure.

"This just takes the deepest piss." He said. "We can't help Prongs."

Remus smiled, knowing that his friend would not and could not leave Hogwarts but not being able to help James was killing him. He'd been through exactly the same emotions and thoughts just seconds before. "We have to stay, but that doesn't mean that we can't help Prongs." He tapped the thick book he had been reading. From the moment James had left Remus had felt uneasy and so he'd been reading up methods that they could use as a form of…_remote assistance_.

Sirius stared Remus and then at the book. "Good man, you got a plan. I like that."

"Problem."

"Not good."

"Yeah, I need three Great Pearls for it to work."

"Shit, urm…" Sirius' mind whirred on quickly. "But we can go ask the mermaids at the lake. I think they might still have a soft spot for me."

"How soon can you get them?"

"I'll go now."

Rosie cleared her throat. "I don't know what you have in mind, but what if I said I can get you the three Great Pearls right now?"

Sirius and Remus exchanged a look. "If you said that, I would kiss you."

Rosie backed away warily but she did leave and return five minutes later with the pearls. "I want you to remember that you owe me one on this." She said and left quickly.

"That worries me." Remus commented.

Sirius shrugged. "I owe her a kiss, nothing more, nothing less." Remus laughed at his friend. "How soon can this be done?"

"Give me an hour, but I do need you to go get someone."

Sirius's eyebrow rose. "Who?"

"Someone you absolutely _love_."

"Wicked."

---

**A/N:** I lied, this isn't my fav chapter, this one I added on second thought. The next one is good! Does anybody remember the pearls??? And where did Rosie get them from? What about Rebecca? Why is she also captured??? Reviews would be appreciated and keep guessing!


	44. Fine Print & Strange Things

A little meow caught Sirius' attention as he was making his way to the Room of Requirement. He looked down to see none other than Nutmeg.

"What do you want?" he asked it. Nutmeg meowed mournfully and looked at his hand. "Oh, you want this?" He'd been eating a Cornish pasty along the way. He'd already eaten half of it and he offered the rest of it to the cat. Nutmeg gratefully polished it off. "There, happy now?" He started walking again but the tinkling of a bell alerted him that Nutmeg was following him. "What you want now? I haven't got anymore food. You're getting fat anyway." Still Nutmeg meowed. "I am not going to stroke you, for all I know you'll start targeting me like that chicken. He walked on but Nutmeg followed him until he reached the room. "Go away! I haven't got anymore food!"

The door opened and Remus stuck his head out. "Are you talking to a cat, Padfoot?"

"The stupid fur ball keeps following me."

"Just let it come in, standing outside and talking to a cat can look rather suspicious you know."

Sirius shrugged and went in with Nutmeg close behind. "You've gone all animal lover lately." He said observing Chewy on Remus' shoulder and then nodding at Brent. It turned out that Brent had arrived just before Sirius.

"Lately? I've always loved animals. I am one!" Remus said with little humor.

Sirius pulled his sleeves up. "Right, let's get these bad boys out!" He threw a glance at Brent who was still hovering by the door.

The pot in front of them was already simmering. Remus added a pinch of powdered mink teeth. "I still don't know how you managed to get him to cooperate." He whispered under his breath.

Sirius gave him a wide grin. "Easy, I threatened to hex him." Remus rolled his eyes but he also grinned.

"Nothing like a direct approach right?"

"Exactly!" Sirius motioned for Brent to come closer to the hot cauldron. The poor Squib looked like he wasn't done from suffering the nightmares of his last encounter in the Room of Requirement and magic. "Come on!" Sirius repeated this time with a lot less patience.

Brent edged closer but still stopped a good few feet away. Sirius sighed and wondered briefly what he had done to deserve this before he lunged and yanked Brent to the cauldron.

Insulted Brent rearranged his clothes and sniffed. Sirius leaned over the now boiling pot. "Is the stuff really gonna work?" he said pointing at the bubbling purple liquid.

"Of course." Remus replied. "Brent, your task is simple, all I need is you to stir the contents of this cauldron with this." He handed the ladle to Brent who treated it like it would bite him.

"That's it?" Siirus folded his arms unimpressed. He'd secretly been hoping that the spell would involve Brent getting squeamish although at a glance he could see that the guy was plenty squeamish already. "Why can't you or I stir it?"

"Because we don't have the stone."

"Ohh, I get it. It's that rock again. Handy thing to have isn't it? Pity it's in his stomach."

Brent's free hand went protectively to his stomach in fear that Sirius might suggest cutting it out. Sirius saw this and he deliberately gave him a wolfish grin.

"_Suminus Protectus_." Remus breathed over the frothing broth and poured a few drops of tortoise oil into it. Nobody knew what to expect but pretty soon it was apparent that nothing was happening.

After a minute or two Sirius spoke. "Great, I bet this happens in our N.E.W.T potions."

"What?" Brent asked curiously.

"Absolutely nothing. That's a fail straight off."

"I thought you didn't care much about education?" Remus said amused.

Sirius ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah well, it looks like I'm going to have to care because you need good grades to be an Auror." Remus raised an eyebrow; he had been aware that his friend was interested in the career but it was quite a surprise to see him so committed. "What you got to smile about anyway? The spell didn't work!"

"It seems that way."

Sirius threw his hands up exaggerating exasperation on purpose. "You're supposed to be the brainy one out of the group! Make it work!"

"Yeah but with competition like you three it's not hard to be the clever one."

"Haha. Real clever." Sirius picked up the bottle and inspected the peeling label.

"Of course."

"What the heck…" he tipped the entire contents of the bottle into the cauldron. "Keep stirring Brent." he ordered. Brent responded by stirring with the ladle furiously. "There, instant reaction." He said as the broth began to change color.

"Sure, but what are the side effects of overdosing a spell?" Remus waved his hand in front of his face as plumes of smoke that was already pouring out.

"Beats me!" Sirius coughed and backed away. Brent had tossed the ladle aside and was out through the door before you could say 'Quidditch'. "Do we need him back?"

"No, the spell is done." The smoke was dispersing now leaving the room slightly foggy.

"Where are they?" These Protectors?" Sirius flapped his hand about to clear the air in front of him.

"I'm here." Came an unfamiliar voice. Remus jumped for the voice seemed to come from right beside his ear. The sudden movement unsettled Chewy and he took off.

"And I'm here." Came a second voice coming from somewhere at their feet.

"Where?" Neither Remus nor Sirius could see anyone other than themselves standing in the room.

Chewy circled the room once and landed back on Remus' shoulder. "I'm right here." He said to Remus. Remus could feel his eyes go wide.

"Chewy? You're the Protector?"

Upon hearing this Sirius began to laugh. "Honestly, Moony! Come up with a better one than that!"

The bat shook its ears. "I'm not Chewy, no, but I am in Chewy's body. We Protectors have to possess the body of an animal, that is the only form in which we can reveal ourselves.

Confused Remus picked up the spell book. "The spell didn't mention that part."

"Oh yes it does, it's written in the fine print."

Remus flipped open the book and scanned the page. "I don't see any fine print."

"Use the attached magnifying glass." The bat suggested.

"Oh." So that was what the small piece of glass attached to the spine of the book via a ribbon was used for. With the delicate glass he could now read a very small line at the very bottom of the page. He'd dismissed it earlier assuming it was just a decorative line of dots to mark the bottom of the page. "I see." He said finally.

"See what because I certainly don't!" Sirius said eyeing the bat with suspicion. Talking animals were freaky to him no matter what animal it was.

"Where are the other two?" Remus asked Chewy ignoring Sirius.

"The cat and the third creature is not in the room."

"The CAT?" Sirius cried staring at Nutmeg on the floor.

"Yes, do you have a problem with that?" the cat said, it's furry cat lips forming words perfectly.

Sirius bristled. "As a matter of fact I do!"

Remus had recovered from his initial shock already and he wasn't quite as disturbed at the idea as Sirius. "Then how the third Protector enter the body if the animal is not present?"

"The essence of the third creature is in the room." Nutmeg answered.

"Oh really? Where?" Sirius demanded. "You're not trying to tell me that the third Protector has possessed the body of a spider are you? There are plenty of those in here." Sirius squinted upwards to the dust corners of the ceiling where there was Hogwart's typical arachnid population.

If possible the cat rolled his eyes. "Of course not Mongrel!" it said with annoyance. "The creature's essence is on your bag."

"Say what! Who you calling a 'Mongrel'?!"

"Why, you of course!" the cat glared at him with its bright eyes. Muttering under his breath Sirius went to his bag. It was dusty with one or two marks left by Tatty's last attack on him.

"There's nothing there!" Sirius declared.

"Use you eyes, Mongrel. It's not that hard to spot a few marks."

"You're lying! The only marks on her are-" Sirius stopped in mid-sentence. "Are you trying to tell me that the 'essence' you're on about is the shit marks on my bag left by that damn flying chicken?"

"Yes." Sirius slapped a hand to his head at the reply.

"Nothing ever goes right for us does it?" It was rhetorical of course.

"When you're done talking to yourself, Mongrel, please be kind enough to rejoin us." The cat said with heavy sarcasm.

Sirius hit the side of his head. "I don't believe it, I'm being insulted by a damn cat!"

---

James sneezed. It was cold and he'd been out all through the previous night and day with only a brief catnap when Tatty had grown tired. It was now night time again and Tatty had once again made a stop, this time near a farm. He was kneeling at the top of a slope that overlooked the small farmhouse in the valley below.

"Is Lily in there or are you stopping for a meal, Tatty?"

Tatty didn't answer. Instead she shivered as if she were cold and then flew down to perch on a solid branch of a bush next to him. James continued to survey the house, noting any points of entry that he could use and plotting escape routes if need be.

"It's a bit chilly tonight isn't it?" Someone said. James looked at his owl.

"Yeah." He replied and returned his attention to the house. Two seconds passed before James swung his eyes back to stare at his owl. The owl stared back with its bright yellow eyes.

"What?" Tatty said.

"Wha-?" James started but he lost his balance and found himself rolling at high speed down into the valley. In the end a hedge stopped his descent. Extremely scratched and battered from his fall he sat up half dazed.

_Did my owl just talk to me?_

Tatty flew silently down to join him. "That was funny, do it again." It said to him. Of all the strange things that James had ever seen in his life, this one definitely came within the top five.

---

**A/N:** soooo! What you all think???


	45. We Three

**A/N:** I'm very sorry for the very late update, it's just that there were a few ideas that I wanted to toy with. All right I admit it, to my shame the reason I haven't posted for so long was because I've been too caught up in Xmas and New Year! Exams haven't been too pleasant neither. But to make up for it I am working on several chapters simultaneously and have about 22 pages of writing! Yay!

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own any of the characters in any way. I'm borrowing them to write a story.

**QUICK SUMMARY:**

Lily's parents have been killed and she's been captured by Death Eaters, the main one is David Tether who used to be a Hogwarts student.

One of Dumbledore's spies has reported a rumored attack to take Hogwarts down. James has left Hogwarts to find Lily with Tatty as his guide.

Remus and Sirius have devised a plan to help James that allows them to stay at Hogwarts because they fear for the worse and want to help Dumbledore. They perform a _Suminus Protectus_ charm that brings back Guardians. Remus overlooked the fine print and it turns out the Guardians come in the forms of animals; in their case Chewy the bat, Nutmeg the cat and Tatty the owl are now their Guardians.

**WE THREE**

The Spy walked on; the small hand held mirror that he'd used just seconds before tucked deep into his pocket. He couldn't be certain but the Dark Lord seemed oddly pleased. The precious son of the Potters' was no longer in Hogwarts. It was their fault for meddling in the Dark Lord's affairs and now they would pay dearly with it.

The spy shivered, somewhere deep inside, an emotion wrenched but as suddenly as it had appeared it was gone. He walked on, comforted that he'd completed a deed for the Lord and oddly despaired that James Potter would not be returning to Hogwarts…

-

"Hey, Mongrel! Are you listening?" Sirius sent Nutmeg a death glare but the cat just shrugged it off and licked a paw before smoothing it over its head.

After seeing his glare being deflected with such ease Sirius turned to Remus. "Moony." He said, his voice low and threatening. "I'm not the brightest of the lot, but I _really_ don't see how a bat, a chicken and FAT CAT is going to help our situation!" he said.

Remus opened his mouth but quickly closed it again. Quite frankly he didn't see how it helped neither. He was saved from replying by Chewy.

"We Three," he began importantly. "Are the wisest of all Guardians. A title we were honored with during our days of flesh."

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"We will guard you."

"From what? _Mice_? Yea 'coz I'm sooooo scared of _those_." In a flash Sirius' world was turned upside down and he found himself smothering in his own robes.

"Hey!" he shoved them aside to find himself hanging upside down from the ceiling. "OI! Put me down!" Below, Remus had his wand out but nothing he could do was able to bring Sirius back to the ground. None of his spells could even reach his friend.

"Tut, tut Mongrel, you really should learn to control your mouth, or least put a bit more thought into your words." Nutmeg said dismissively, all the while maintaining eye contact with Sirius's writhing body.

"That's not helping." Remus said placing himself in front of Nutmeg to break the eye contact. As a result Sirius crashed into the ground and landed with a _thud_.

"Moony!" he complained massaging his neck. "A cushion would have been thoughtful."

"Always the thoughtless brat-" Nutmeg began.

"We summoned you because we need your help. This is _not_ helping." Remus interjected with a defeated sigh. Sirius was right: why couldn't something go right for once? "Look, James is _out_ there and we're stuck here. Something is going to happen here and we have to be here when it does, but our friend _needs_ our help." He said with a maddening patience.

"Ah, loyalty to friends. Something that is highly regarded no matter the circumstance." Chewy said and Remus swore he smiled. "There is naught to worry young one, the last that makes We Three is with your friend. Your spell is true and we will serve our purpose.

"Good…I think." Remus said uncertain of what help these Guardians could offer.

-

"_Tatty_!" James scratched his head wondering if he had a concussion; it certainly felt concussed. He thought that he might have been hallucinating but his owl spoke _before_ he fell, so his hallucinations couldn't have been caused by the fall.

"Yes?" Tatty blinked at him.

"Are you _talking_ to me?"

"Apparently." Tatty looked up to where James had fallen. "Aren't you going to do that again?"

"No!" James cried indignantly. There was no mistaking the look of disappointment on his owl. "Since when have you been able to talk?" he demanded while untangling himself from the prickly bramble.

"Oh, about three minutes ago. Was a touch surprised to be out here but everything always has a purpose right?"

"Three minutes?" James recalled seeing Tatty shiver.

The owl nodded. "Now listen to me human, what I'm about to say is very important but first I have a question that is even more important." James nodded slowly, not quite sure what to expect. "Are you sure that you won't do that again?"

"NO!"

Again the owl looked disappointed. "Pity, I haven't laughed like that for centuries."

-

Lily stared at the handle. Sweat beading on her hairline. Hours passed like minutes while she worked on her wand-less spell, lost in concentration. The night was passing rather uneventfully and the door stayed stubbornly locked despite her best efforts. Many times she would stop and think longingly of the days when she could control magic with a wave of her hand. Rebecca seemed to sense these moments because each time it happened she would speak. They were random comments mostly but with merely her presence she would restore Lily's determination.

"I'm not old enough to go to a Wizarding school yet so I'm still stuck in a Muggle Primary school. What's it like in Hogwarts?"

Lily wished she had something to pick the lock with but there was nothing that she could find. "It's…big, a very old castle." Lily began while still staring at the door with determination. "It's so big that I sometimes get lost in it still, the stairs don't help very much though because they move."

Rebecca gave a delighted laugh. "They move? To where?"

"Wherever they want really."

"What about the headmaster? Is he strict?"

"Dumbledore?" Lily shook her head fondly. "No, he's not at all strict." She said recalling Dumbledore's mirth over their food fight. "But that doesn't mean that you can mess around in front of him though." She added quickly not wanting to give an entirely false impression of the Great wizard to the girl. "There's something about him that tell you that you do not want to mess with him. He instills this authority and it seems like he's unaware of it entirely. He really is a great wizard."

"Not great enough to stand up against the Dark Lord though is he? Or he would have done already." Rebecca said unconvinced. "We wouldn't be here right if he was that Great."

Rebecca's note of bitterness alarmed Lily and she drew away from the door. "Oh no! Don't say that. He is Great Wizard, but there's only one of him and the You-Know-Who has many followers. He can only do his best."

"So, that means he's doing something then?"

This question took Lily by complete surprise. _What was_ Dumbledore doing? Over the past year he'd been absent from the school a lot that much she did know. "I don't know." She replied truthfully.

"Surely there's something." The girl persisted with unnatural interest. "You're the Head Girl, you must know about something."

"No, I don't." Lily replied but then grew puzzled. "How did you know that I'm Head Girl?"

"Because you told me earlier." Lily shook her head, she had no memory of telling her about that but then she was tired after all. "So like is Dumbledore preparing you guys to revolt against the Dark Lord?"

"I really have no idea, Rebecca." Rebecca expressed disappointment and fell silent leaving Lily to return to her arduous task.

Lily's heart leapt as the handle twisted and she thought she had finally gotten somewhere until the door swung open and she found a tip of a wand pointed straight at her nose. With a cry she fell back landing roughly on the floorboards.

Two wizards entered the room both dressed in black robes with hidden faces. The only bit of skin she could see was their hands and exposed wrists where they proudly exhibited the Black Mark.

"Oh crap…" Lily struggled helplessly as they seized her by the wrists.

-

Lily kicked and screamed until they gagged and bound her with ropes controlled by magic. They dumped her unceremoniously onto a rusty old bathroom where the ropes loosened as soon as they closed the door.

_At least they gave me a bathroom time…_ Lily found herself thinking gratefully because the longer she was stayed in that room the more the flowerpot looked like it would have to serve as a toilet.

After flushing the toilet she turned the taps on to full and went to the window. It was rectangular and set in a creamy frame. She shook it but it was firmly latched and no amount of tugging could open the window. Frustrated she went back to the sink and threw cold water over her face.

"What do they want with me?" She asked her reflection aloud. "I need to be at Hogwarts!" She told her reflection. The conversation she had overheard about the raid was racing through her veins. The connections were obvious, Tether worked for Voldemort and they were planning a 'raid' on Hogwarts! What else could an 'antique school' be?

She was rudely interrupted from her thoughts when the door to the bathroom opened despite the fact that she had locked it.

"You've been in here long enough." The taller one said gruffly.

"What were you doing?" the second one spoke, the voice coming from under the hood undeniably female.

Lily looks down the wand that was pointed at her face. "I was trying to drown myself." She informed them haughtily and found her face thrown to the side; her cheek stinging once more before realizing that she had been slapped. That was twice in too soon a time. Lily threw herself onto the woman with fists and nails. With a screech and a yell the woman stumbled and the man released a stunning spell from behind sending Lily into oblivion once more.

-


	46. Brothers

"This is cannot be happening." Sirius muttered and closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at the cat or the bat. The last time he had said this was when he was fifteen years old and his Mother had made him spend the day with Bellatrix when she had come to visit.

"She'll make you a fine wife." His Mother had said.

The then fifteen-year-old Sirius had gagged. "But we're cousins!" he'd said, appalled at even the thought. "Besides, she's way too old for me." He added as an after thought.

Mrs. Black stared at her son hard and Sirius stared back knowing very well that in her mind she was cursing his existence. "It is not uncommon for cousins to wed in our family." She said contemptuously. "It's how we keep our blood pure."

"Ri-ght." To him it still sounded wrong but the serious tone with which she had delivered her words told him all hell would break out loose if he were to voice his objection and he wasn't quite in the mood for one of those murderous arguments.

"Since you're so useless at making our family proud the least you can do is make a decent marriage and produce an heir to be brought up properly like a true Black." She hissed under her breath.

About a minute passed in which his Mother's resentment grew and Sirius knew that hell was about to come his way anyway so he took a deep sigh and prepared himself.

"You should learn from your brother. He has his heart in the right place."

_That's certainly a new way you could put it. _Sirius thought although he didn't say it aloud.

"He doesn't spend time with filthy half-breeds, traitorous Muggle lovers or dog filth neither. He thinks about more than himself. He's considerate enough to think about the family honor. He would do nothing to taint our name, but you! You…" she said shrilly before her voice dropped to a growl.

Unable to stop himself Sirius had snapped back. "They're not half-breeds or dog filth! I hang around with them because they are my friends! And don't you insult them because they're worth more than your bloody precious Noble and most sodding Ancient pure blood crap."

Mrs. Black's eyes narrowed. She appeared to suck in a lung full of air before she exploded. "I'M WARNING YOU SIRIUS! DON'T YOU DARE DISHONOR YOUR FAMILY NAME! IF THE OLD LAWS WERE STILL IN PLACE I WOULD HAVE STRUNG YOU UP BY THE NECK MYSELF AND LEFT YOU TO ROT IN THE CELLER! IF I COULD RID YOU FROM THE FAMILY DON'T THINK I WOULDN'T!"

"Please do! I wouldn't mind ridding myself of the name Black neither!" Thoroughly irritated Sirius stormed off only to be disturbed just minutes later by none other than Bellatrix. Despite being a few years older Bellatrix had not failed to notice her extremely good looking younger cousin.

"My dear cousin." She said airily that made him cringe. She was tall, almost his height (although he was already tall for his age) with dark hair and heavy lidded eyes that she smothered with make up.

Sirius had taken a notice to girls from a young age and she was by no means ugly by any standard, but she was his cousin and he definitely wasn't a fanatic about marrying someone he was related to. Besides, there was something deeply unsettling under her lashes, something that he could almost describe as _snake-ish_; a cold blooded-ness Sirius knew he would never grow to love. His brother on the hand loved all forms of cold-blooded creatures, and Sirius had long suspected that he'd had a crush on dear Bellatrix for a long while. Knowing this very well he'd deliberately led her to his brother and had used the opportunity to rid himself of her company for the day. Unfortunately for Regulus and Mrs. Black, Bellatrix wasn't as captivated with Regulus as she was with Sirius and two visits later she stopped visiting entirely.

_And that! _Was the last time Sirius had seen her before he moved out.

"Most interesting." Sirius looked down to see Nutmeg with his paw resting on his leg.

"Get off." Sirius pulled his leg away and sat up straight. A large squashy beanbag appeared beside him and he shuffled onto it marveling at the efficiency of the Room of Requirement. "What was interesting?" he added moodily.

"The Mongrel is intelligent enough to have memories. Are you a descendent of Phineas Nigellus?"

"What! Have you been snooping on my thoughts!" Sirius demanded. The cat was reading his thoughts! He thought with a little panic.

"Answer the question Mongrel, it's not hard." Nutmeg said with disinterest.

Sirius rarely talked or shared memories of his family, even to his best friends he never said more than was needed to convey the type of household he was brought up in and now this cat had invaded his privacy just like that, now that just took the biscuit. "Why you big f-"

His insult was cut off short when Remus' alarmed voice rose above it. "I think I've found a sneak."

"What?" Sirius stood up swiftly resisting the urge to give the cat a good kick as he went to join Remus who was hunched over the map.

"Look," he said pointing out a moving dot to Sirius. The dot was labeled Rodolphus Lestrange and it was walking up a corridor that would only lead to the Owlery. "Bit of a strange time to be out posting don't you think."

Sirius narrowed his eyes at the dot. "I knew he wouldn't be able to take it. How can he resist the opportunity to get James in trouble?"

"Although I wonder why he's waited this long?"

"I don't know, maybe he couldn't spell 'James'." Sirius flicked a bit of hair out of his eye as some of his old mischief restored itself. Lestrange wasn't too bright when it came to the average day to day chores but when it came to Dark Arts he was as sharp as an arrow. He rolled the map up and shoved it into his pocket. "I rekon we should go say 'hello'." And he flashed a rakish smile at nothing in particular at the thought of a confrontation; maybe he was affected by his recent reminiscence? He wasn't sure but he did know that he definitely wasn't a cold-blooded, pure blood obsessed maniac like the rest of his family. Still, that didn't stop him from condemning them as they had to him…

-

Remus followed closely behind Sirius as they practically ran to the owlery. His friend was worked up. _Driven_ to be precise. Many a times he'd witnessed it but he could not for the life of him figure out what had triggered it off this time.

_He's just itching to get involved._ That was the way Sirius was; deep down he was unsettled, _impatient_ that James was getting all the action. To be sure their friend _was_ in danger but he was still involved. This inaction was killing Sirius who was not accustomed to sitting on his hands.

"He must be writing some long words." Sirius marveled. "He's still there!" They burst in through the door. A very surprised Lestrange jumped and the owl closest to him soared upwards, straight for the open window.

"Get him!" Remus had his wand out but Chewy was faster. The little bat shot up like a rocket and did his bat version of a rugby tackle. As a result the very surprised and disgruntled owl flapped his wings in a frenzy to release itself and began to fall as it lost its momentum. However, being considerably bigger than the bat, the owl swung his wing down hard and Chewy was flung clear away. Nutmeg tutted but was unable to help as the owl seized the opportunity to fly out while the bat recovered.

Having witnessed this Sirius whirled onto Lestrange. "I'd eat my wand if that was a letter to your Mother. Who are you grassing on?"

"What's it to you?" Lestrange brushed the front of his robes with a smirk. What happened next surprised everyone. Sirius was supposed to throw back a cutting insult of some sort but it seemed that he wasn't interested in a verbal argument that night. His hands shot out and grabbed the lapels of Lestrange's uniform.

"What-was-in-the-letter?" he demanded, throttling the Slytherin with each word. Nutmeg whooped with amusement whilst Remus stood with his jaw open.

"Get off!" the red faced Lestrange struggled but Sirius was having none of it.

"Answer the question Lefreak."

"Padfoot." Remus tried to get Sirius to release Lestrange. "You're gonna end up killing him."

"Don't touch me, dog filth!" Lestrange hissed. Sirius gave him a hearty throttle but it didn't cover his surprise. "That's right! Don't think that I don't know what you are!" Remus' jaw tightened.

"It was Snape. Loose mouthed little snake, he promised Dumbledore." Sirius hissed. Outside of the four and Lily, only Snape knew that Remus was a werewolf. "I regret letting Prongs save his ass. Get me a cupboard or something, Moony." The request baffled Remus.

"Why?"

"Because my hands are getting tired."

Chewy jumped to the opportunity. With a little bat magic a ward wardrobe appeared. Without any hesitation Sirius hefted Lestrange through the open doors and dumped him inside before slamming the door close.

"This is where the fun begins." Sirius grinned pushing his sleeves up. The cupboard shook on its iron-pegged legs as if it contained a boggart. Sirius poked the end of his wand through the keyhole and sent a stunner though. Inside Lestrange howled. A tickler went in next. "Having fun Lefreak?" Sirius called with glee. Even Nutmeg seemed to be enjoying this because he even suggested a few spells. However, Lestrange was as tight lipped as ever and not a word escaped his mouth.

"Stubborn fool." Sirius cursed, when he finally grew bored. "Oh well, we can always come back!" A decisive flick of his wand and the cupboard plus Lestrange vanished. "At least we won't be seeing him any time soon." He said to Remus with a shrug.

"But the owl got away."

Sirius nodded gravely but something appeared to have caught Remus attention and he followed his gaze to the door.

Regulas leant against the door casually, almost in a manner that reminded Remus of Sirius actually although Regulus did not have quite the same level of charm that his brother dripped effortlessly. Like his brother, he was also very striking in looks but yet again he was nowhere near as popular as Sirius. When in the two stood near enough together (for they would never be found standing side by side) there was no doubt that Sirius drew more attention be it from male or female.

Sirius was just a person that did not need to announce his presence; quite the opposite since his presence announced _him_.

Regulus was smiling slightly, an awful smile that Sirius also shared, although the latter readily turned it into a devastating charmer or a genuine grin.

"He'll turn up in a week or two." Sirius said heedless of the fact that Regulus had just seen him commit something that could get him suspended.

"Couldn't care less."

This surprised Sirius a little although he was careful not to show it. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to see you shove Lestrange into the cupboard and curse it. I've got to admit that even I enjoyed that. How did you get the cupboard up here anyway?"

Remus released a breath he'd been holding. At least Regulus hadn't seen Chewy cast magic, that would have brought up more problems.

"I'd love to tell you, but I don't feel like it." Sirius said flatly. "But I _am_ curious of why you haven't run off telling on us yet."

Regulus laughed. "He going out with Bella you know?"

"Couldn't care less." He replied echoing his earlier reply.

Regulus' eyebrows drew close in a frown and when he next spoke his voice dripped with disdain. "That's right. I forgot how little you cared for the family. All you care about is yourself and mixed blood friends."

Remus might have been mistaken but he thought he could also hear a hint of bitterness in Regulus' words. Regulus hadn't been on particularly bad terms with Sirius; at least he'd never heard Sirius talk about anything bad happening between them. The only thing he'd really said was how soft Regulus was and how easily his Mother's warped ideals influenced him. But that delicate relationship had crumbled when Sirius had ran away when he was sixteen. Regulus at fifteen, effectively became an only son when he'd been brought up as part of two. And without his brother as a counter balance, his Mother's influence grew and so did his bitterness at being abandoned.

Remus looked over to his friend. Nothing ever really affected Sirius more than issues concerning his family and right now this was clearly evident as Sirius clenched his jaw. "You've been with that woman too long."

"That woman is your Mother!" Regulus pulled himself up straight with clenched fists.

"Yes, a Mother that wouldn't hesitate to strangle her own son!" Sirius threw back, his voice loud enough to unsettle the owls above once more.

"You make her- you upset her by your behavior!"

"And she doesn't upset me when she curses me and tells me she wished I had never been born?" Sirius ran a hand through his hair trying to look like he didn't care but it didn't fool anyone.

A few tense seconds passed as the two brothers locked into a stare. "You should see her now. See what you've done to her. She sits at home and mutters under her breath and all she ever talks about is your _betrayal_! She's going crazy because you left!" Regulus said accusingly.

"She was well on her way even when I was there!"

"SHUT UP!" Regulus thundered. The two stared at each other again for what seemed like an immeasurable length of time before Regulus spun on his heel and marched out.

-

**A/N**: Wow, wasn't it weird seeing Sirius all worked up as opposed to being all cool? I know in the books he's all detached about his family but I figured that that's only because he's had like a good sixteen years plus to get over it. But from his behavior with Harry whom he considers as family you could tell just how much family means to him. His were crap but that doesn't mean that he didn't have feelings for them and running away is bound to leave a bit of a sore patch for all of them, even his Mother in an odd way I guess.


	47. Through The Door

Lily was working on the door again, this time sporting a bruise or two. Mumbling she became more determined than ever. For the second time in too short of a time she had woken up in that dusty room. _Back to square one_…

The fear, desperation and hope that she had harbored before had melted away leaving nothing but pure anger. Before she had been upset that she couldn't open the door, now she was damn straight outraged.

"Open _damn_ you!" With a decided _click_ the door swung ajar. Blinking she wondered if she might have been hallucinating but soon it dawned on her that this time it was real. A draft greeted her tired face through the gap and she thought she might faint with joy.

Once she had reassured the young girl that she would be back she gingerly left the room and cautiously wandered about looking for something that she could use to her advantage.

Lily had always prided herself in being level headed and calm in times of crisis. In truth underneath the cool façade she had never been as calm or collected while everyone panicked. And right now she was dismayed at how rapidly her calm was falling to pieces. She was in some sort of kitchen and as she quickly searched for some kind of weapon from drawer to drawer the bones in her legs were slowly jellifying.

By any standard of law or combat, a butcher's knife qualified as a weapon but the shaky uncertain grip with which she held the wooden handle proved that she wouldn't be able to use it on anything more responsive than Sunday roast. Despite that, instinct told her she might need it and she tucked it into the waistband of her skirt at an angle hoping that her instinct wouldn't lead her to accidentally stab herself.

Besides using a knife meant that you had to be in close contact with the enemy. Assuming she might have to thump anyone to get Rebecca out of that room or kick David's ass personally, Lily definitely preferred to thump and kick from a distance, preferably with a rifle on a roof far away.

But at the end of the day, a pantry was a pantry and there wasn't a colorful armory for her to casually select a weapon with the greatest punch and range at leisure. The heaviest weapon on the shelves were cans of baked beans. Convinced that the world couldn't hate her that much Lily went on searching until she discovered that the owner of the kitchen had apparently been plagued by an ant problem. With a faint "ah" a flash of inspiration hit her.

-

"She's in there." Tatty informed as she fluttered down. Once she had gotten over her disappointment in James she had redirected their route to where she claimed Lily was.

Darkness sucked in moonlight on the bottom floor of the large Victorian House but more than a few of the windows on the second floor were well lit. Someone was definitely home. James stood there cloaked in darkness and surveyed the top floor with an absorbent gaze. The lonely house was large; he counted four large bay windows and concluded that given the irregular shape of the house there would be at least two more giving a total of six large rooms on the second floor. Two of the windows were lit up brightly and these were most likely occupied.

It was a big house, but not big enough for no one to notice his entry if he broke a window. He wanted to avoid using magic if he could because that would alert the Ministry to his whereabouts and he would be dragged back to Hogwarts before he could do anything. James wrapped the Invisibility Cloak around himself tighter and headed for the house.

Tatty swooped after him. "How are you going to get in."

"Through the door." James replied.

"What?" Tatty's smooth flight hiccuped as she reacted in surprise.

"They won't be expecting people to try to walk in through the door." James explained. "I bet they've triggered the house. One wave of the wand and all alarms will go off."

"So you're just going to walk in?" The owl shook her head.

"Yeah, that's the way Muggles do it." James said. In all honesty he hadn't expected it to be that simple. He'd expected alarms and lights to flare out the second he stepped foot through the door. In fact, he had been so sure that something would happen that he almost had a heart attack when nothing but the sound of a Grandfather clock attacked him in the hallway once he was inside. Tatty had opted to stay outside after she'd expressed her lack of faith in his just-walk-in plan.

With one last deep breath James closed the door behind him. Trying to breathe evenly he worked hard to squash his fear down. His skin was tingling, around every corner he expected to be attacked. His adrenaline was pumping so hard that he was practically buzzing with anticipation. _Upstairs_. There wasn't any particular reason for that choice but it seemed like the right choice. So up the stairs he went, carefully stepping on the outermost edges so that they didn't creak. Once up one flight he had a look around. Several doors on the landing presented themselves, one slightly ajar. _This one._

James edged into the open doorway, reached around the frames into the room, and felt about for a light switch. He assumed that someone stood poised to respond to this maneuver and was so certain that they would pin his hand to the wall with a knife that when a vague yellow light flicked on, he was astonished he still had his full complement of fingers.

A single light bulb barely illuminated the room forcing light and shadow to share the space. Now that he could see the room James wasn't sure whether the tension of dread and anticipation was lessened. Dust sheets half covered old furniture that lay scattered about the room.

There were two doors, both of them closed. One was smaller and looked like it led to a wardrobe and the other looked like it might lead to a bathroom. Thin drapes hung from the solid looking window and there were neither thick nor long enough to hide a person.

Of more immediate concern was the bundle of sheet against the far wall. Someone appeared to be hiding under it covered from head to foot. The bundle trembled slightly.

_Lily_?

-

**A/N:** You and I both know that Lily's not there, she's in the kitchen searching for a weapon. What's lying in wait for dear Jamie?


	48. Lily & 'Lily'

**A/N:** Dear all! Deepest apologies for not updating for sooo long! Uni work got unbearable and then exams came up! I promise to be more constant from now on! Some of the earlier chapters are a bit scruffy so I'll be trying to rework them too!

**Summary**: Lily has been captured by David Tether a Death eater (an ex Hogwarts student) who now works for the Ministry. James has snuck out of Hogwarts to find Lily and follows Tatty his owl. Meanwhile, Remus, Sirius and Peter have cast a spell that's gone a bit pear-shaped.

Sirius' little bro has also been introduced.

James has reached the house where Lily has been held captive and has found what he assumes is Lily but she's actually downstairs in the kitchen searching for weapon. So who has James found?

---

By opening the door and switching on the light, James had already announced his presence whether he was invisible or not. Cautiously approaching the bundle, he said, "Hello?" James heard a little snort escape from Tatty (who was apparently following his progress at the window) but he was too wound up to offer a remark not to mention that it had sounded pretty stupid to himself as well.

Under the sheets the figure froze. James picked up a piece of a chair leg and nudged what might have been the foot...or head if the person was somehow sitting upside down. The hidden form began to twitch again, as though ants were attacking it. The door that might lead to the closet was closed, as was the one that might lead to the bathroom. One glance back at the hallway showed that there was nothing there.

James' hand twitched and he half leant over to yank off the sheet but his senses were going haywire and screaming. It was not right, it could not be right. Still, he was wasting precious seconds while he pondered over what to do. It felt like a trap, like someone was lying in wait under the sheet. It was too easy for him to just walk in, save whoever was there and walk out again. _Too easy_.

Distressed with the decision James swiftly leant down and whipped the sheet aside before he could give himself another thought. The sheet fell away to reveal a woman, Her pale blue eyes stared at him with fear and she continued to shake from where she sat huddled against the wall. She looked like she was paralyzed with fear. Deeply regretting his delay James brushed back his hood to reveal his head and held out a hand.

"Come on, I'll get you out of here."

She shook her head and refused to move. The hairs on James' neck rose and the chair leg in his hand half rose. He was acutely aware of the open space around him and the open door as well as the two closed ones.

"T-They're H-here!" she said through chattering teeth. Her eyes flickered to the door that James assumed led to the bathroom. James swung smoothly to face the door. He took a few steps but his senses went haywire again as the floorboards from behind creaked. He spun to see the woman half risen, her fear no longer present. In one hand she held a wand, in the other she held a knife.

---

Lily was one her way back to the room. She hadn't found anything to open the door but she had already been out for quite a while and she knew she had to reassure Rebecca again. However, when she reached the room she froze at the door and stared at the scene in front of her. James' head and only his head floated above invisible shoulders near the far end of the room she had been held captive in. He had his back turned away from a woman who was getting up and pulling a knife and a wand from her sleeves.

Lily's mouth opened to scream, but James reacted quicker than she could scream and a leg shot out and the knife clattered to the floor.

The blonde haired woman faltered for a split second and brought up her wand hand. "_CRUCIO_!" She screeched, her wand pointing at James! Lily lunged forward from the door covering the short distance and leapt directly into the path of the spell.

There were two settings on the can of spray: Stream and Spray. Earlier on, she had flicked it on the Stream that according to the label had a ten-foot reach. She was a lot less than ten foot away from the crazed woman.

Whether it was by sheer luck or her true aim, the powerful spray erupted from the nozzle and straight into the woman's mouth and nose. She reeled away, dropping her wand at the same time as the _Crucio_ spell exploded from the end. The spell went over Lily and narrowly missed James before hitting the wall behind.

Although super instant ant death had a less notable effect on a full-grown woman, it suitably rendered her out of action as she knelt on the floor gagging and spluttering. A moment of pride and triumph warmed Lily at having taught someone a good lesson for trying to cast an Unforgivable spell on her boyfriend.

The triumph didn't last long. "DUCK LILY!" Lily threw herself into onto the floor at James' command. A spell went over her and James ran past her and collided heavily into a wizard that must have emerged from the locked door. _Rebecca_'s locked door.

_Rebecca_!

Lily scrambled to her knees unsure of how she could help James or reach the door beyond the grappling pair. Movement on the floor caught her attention and she saw the woman sliding on the floor reaching for her wand. Lily shot up and her heel landed with a satisfying crunch on her hand.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." She echoed unintentionally and held up the can. The woman blanched and cradled her hand protectively to her chest and burst into fits of coughing again. She stared at Lily with such hate that Lily thought it might burn her. "That's what you get for messing with my boyfriend." Lily said coolly and snapped the wand in half before throwing it back on the floor.

James had clamped a hand on the wizard's wand wrist and had twisted it back. With all his strength he fought to bend it back further until the wand was dropped. His own joints protested against the sheer effort it took to twist a limb back against someone's will. His other hand was similarly engaged in a silent fight of strength.

"Drop-it!" James told the stubborn wizard. His command was responded to with a hiss. Seconds passed and the two remained locked in a vicious embrace, each fighting against the strength of the other.

Lily gave the can a decisive shake, the mixer inside the canister clicking audibly and she approached the two. The sound alerted the Death Eater and James could see the fear rise in the eyes of his impending doom of ant spray. With inhuman effort the man yanked his arm back but James wasn't about to let him go. With a dull click the man's shoulder joint _cracked_, telling everyone that one more pull would probably dislocate it. James winced and Lily paused, the man let out a scream and swung James around so that he became a barrier to Lily.

James seized the distraction and pulled the man closer, at the same time he drove his knee upwards into his solar plexus. With a faint _oof_ the bruising grip loosened and he crumpled to the floor pulling James with him. As suddenly as it had started the scuffle had finished.

Detangling himself quickly James grabbed a length of abandoned curtain rope to tie up the wizard. The woman allowed herself to be tied up as cooperatively as the unconscious man, mostly because James had a wand pointed at her, he didn't really have any intention of using it but he wasn't going to tell her that.


	49. Rebecca

REBECCA

Straightening up he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. A handful of minutes had passed since he had entered the room, yet he felt that he'd been fighting for hours.

"Jamie."

He turned to Lily, a smile ready. She stared at him; her head tilted to one side her eyes fixed on him with disbelief. Captivated he stared back; she was overjoyed to see him, he knew it because he could feel it as he felt his own joy at seeing her unharmed. Her large eyes shone oddly in the yellow light and James thought his heart would melt from the warmth that spread to the very tips of his fingers.

She moved and he opened his arms automatically to receive her. She took a step, and began to run-

James' grin grew broader…and turned into a grimace when she ran right past his arms to the door.

"Rebecca!" She cried. Lily went into the next room without a second thought. She and James could share their reunion later; first she needed to save Rebecca.

"Damn." James cursed. "It's because of this cloak." He reassured himself aloud. "She didn't see me hold out my arms to her." He muttered looking sadly at his invisible hands hidden under the cloak.

Lily had already run through the door and hadn't heard him at all. "Lovely to see you James. Hope you didn't hurt yourself James. Thank you for saving me James." He continued with humor and headed for the door.

A large room instead of a bathroom that he had been expecting greeted him. An eyebrow went up because the room was apparently empty except for a large ornate chair facing away from him in front of a fire that provided the only light in the whole room. Surprise gave way to alarm.

"Lily!" With his eyes fixed on the chair his hand went to his back pocket to grasp his wand.

"Not so quick." A young girl's voice said from the chair. Very slowly the chair lifted and rotated until its occupant was revealed. Surprise number two: James had been expecting a young girl in the chair but instead there was an unmistakably grown man that lounged in the green leather. One of his arms was wound around Lily's neck whilst the other held a wand to his throat.

"Hello James." His lips moved but the girlish voice came from his mouth.

James screwed his face in distaste. "Oh man! That's _sick_!" Lily would have nodded in agreement were she not held hostage by her neck. She was upset and hurt that Rebecca had been a fake, more than that she was _furious_ that she had been cheated by David Tether.

"You…" she trailed off through gritted teeth. Hidden under her sleeve was the can of ant spray, her finger twitched on the head as she inched her hand upwards.

David pulled the wand away from his throat and laughed. "So innocent." He said in his own voice, his tone almost admiring. "Dumbledore always makes sure that his students remain _innocent_. Even till the day they graduate none of them have a clue of the wiles in the _real_ world of magic. _None_!"

"Let her go, Tether." James growled. He had recognized David straight away.

"Not before you give me your wand, Potter. Actually, you can keep it for a while yet since I know that you wouldn't want to jeopardize the well-being of a fellow class mate would you? After all, you are one of Dumbledore's students."

"You were one of Dumbledore's students." James pointed out.

Instead of answering David said, "I heard that you might be arriving."

The corner of James' mouth twitched but he didn't say anything. Someone knew that he was no longer at Hogwarts, maybe he had been seen en route, but more likely than not the information had escaped from the school itself. He knew Remus would never betray him so it had to be someone else…with a mental shake he cleared his suspicions and put the intrigue of Hogwarts to rest so that he could focus fully on rescuing Lily.

"Hmm, your Father is a thorn in our side. An unfortunate but deliberate accident involving his only son might quiet him a bit."

James kept his poker face but Lily stiffened at the threat. She couldn't and wouldn't forgive herself if anything ever happened to James.

"You didn't like that did you?" David said smiling rhetorically at her. Lily gave him a dirty look and turned her face away from him as best as she could. "James Potter…Ah yes, I remember you. The popular first year, you've grown." His eyes flickered down to Lily, "and so have you Lily Evans."

James swallowed an uncomfortable lump and anger turned his vision red. "Let her go."

"Coming to think of it, I remember you two quite well." David said ignoring James completely. "Didn't you used to fancy her?" James didn't answer but his eyes remained pinned on David. It was a well-known fact that from day one James Potter fancied Lily Evans anyway. "Didn't you?" David repeated, this time he gave Lily's neck a shake that made her choke.

"Yes." James gritted out.

David shrugged conversationally. "She is pretty I grant you that."

James was practically steaming. If he'd ever gotten protective and territorial it was now. Never in his whole life had he felt so angry and scared at the same time. If Tether so much as laid a finger on her he swore that he would make every bone in his body disappear.

Tether ran his eyes down Lily although it appeared rather inspective than lascivious; more like he was looking at a specimen.

"Hm…"

David's eyes had taken a glazed look and seemed oddly matte looking, at least that's how it seemed from James' point of view.

"Oi!" James shouted out after a few more moments of vacant glazed staring. "Oi! Little girl psycho!"

Whether he'd been provoked or not David suddenly spoke as if he'd never stopped. "Now, tell me, what is it that Dumbledore thinks that he can achieve?"

James frowned. He hadn't a clue what David was talking about but maybe he could use this opportunity to get him to talk, maybe he'd let something slip.

"Still the stubborn one I see." David gave Lily a vicious shake that prompted the desired response.

"Wait!"

"Talk." Tether demanded.

"He…" If there was ever a time to bullshit, this was it. James summoned his natural flair for fabrication; if Tether wanted information then he would give him information, whether it was correct or not was another matter. "It's not what he thinks he can achieve, it's what _he will_ achieve." He informed Tether smoothly. David shifted in his chair with interest whilst Lily gave him a wide eyed look that clearly said '_what?'_. "

He's stronger than Voldemort you know." James said, fishing for more to say even as the words left his mouth.

David hissed in a way that was definitely more reptilian than man-made. "He is the DARK LORD! You will refer to him as LORD!"

Unfazed by David's snake-ish snap James continued to spout out whatever came to mind. "You know it's true, everyone knows that the only wizard in the world that Voldemort fears is Dumbledore. He's hunting for him right this very minute." James was lying about the latter part of course but then again, for all he knew it could be true.

"Don't be so naïve. Dumbledore would not deliberately seek the Dark Lord." Tether said although it was unclear whether he was speaking to James or merely clarifying things with himself. "Even if he found him it would not do any good, the Dark Lord's influence is too broad and wide. No, Dumbledore is up to something else. He's gathering _people_, don't think we don't know who he visits because we have eyes everywhere. Yes, we know he's trying to gather people, pathetic people like your Father. I would not be surprised if they tied themselves to trees with signs saying 'save the Muggles and Mudbloods.' It's disgusting!" David chuckled at his own joke.

"Isn't your Father a Muggle?" James thought aloud. David's smug expression faltered and for an instant he looked confused. "The Dark Lord owns me." He almost whimpered before the maniacal smile reappeared and he gave Lily's neck a squeeze. "Now James, the truth please. We know he's trying to gather people but what else is he planning?"

"Fine," James said taken aback but still thinking quickly. "He is trying to gather people but nobody is listening to him."

"Go on."

"So he's gathering Muggles."

"WHAT?" Tether began to laugh, a peel of maniacal yet amused laughter echoed strangely in the room.

James waited patiently for it to subside. "You may laugh now but you won't be when the time comes. Muggles outnumber wizards and witches."

To the point of tears Tether gasped for air. "Don't you know you're fighting for a lost cause when you see it? How does Dumbledore expect to win with nothing but Muggles to back him up against the most powerful wizards?"

"By sheer number." James said simply, his seriousness finally registering with Tether.

"He cannot expect to win! They'll lock him up in a loony bin! Magic is nothing but a fantasy to Muggles!"

"They'll listen. Dumbledore has a way. He always has a way." James replied with such confidence that David began to think twice. As highly unlikely and improbable it was…it was Dumbledore after all, the old man was as mad as a bat and certainly wasn't playing with a full deck; he walked around in purple earmuffs for goodness' sake! The Dark Lord had to know about this!

_Don't be foolish!_ A foreign, cold, destructive voice seared across his mind. David visibly hunched under the power. _The boy is nothing but lies! Finish them both! They are of no use!_

"Your- your-your-your wand please. Kick it over to me." Tether rasped over the immense internal pressure. A pause from James elicited another hard shake on Lily's neck.

James released the hand that he had still rested on his wand and plucked out the second wand that he'd retrieved from the floor after the fight. He dropped it and kicked over the wand that had belonged to the other wizard. The wand rolled across the floor and David put his foot on it when it reached him.

"Good-"

Lily, temporarily a forgotten threat reminded him by thrusting her hand upwards and giving him a healthy dose of ant spray. At the same time James lunged at David and his wand. A loud _bang_ flew out of the wand followed by a siren that kept going until James managed to get hold of it and toss it into the fire. The wand was silenced immediately as the flames hungrily ate it up.

Next James tore at David's fingers while avoiding his kicking legs as Lily continually dosed his face with ant killer. David screamed and yelled his free fist gave up on protecting his face from the spray and punched out blindly. With a determined pull Lily was in his arms and they fell back.

"Come on!" He grabbed her arm and they ran out aware that the house was no longer quiet but alive with running footsteps. They reached the top of the stairs but people were already running up them.

Left with no choice James turned and dragged Lily around and up the another flight of stairs. Up into a musty attic and then through the roof door they went.

"There's no where to run." Lily breathed when they emerged into the cold night air. For a moment the night was quiet and the angry shouting of pursuit from below could not be heard. James slammed the roof door and threw the latch on although he knew it would not hold for long. Together they edged away on the dangerously slanted roof.

"There's has to be a way." James looked frantically for a way for them to climb down the side of the house but the lip of the roof jutted out too far for them to even reach the wall. "We'll apparate!"

Lily shook her head sadly. "I tried earlier, to escape, but there's some kind of anti-apparating magic put up."

"Maybe I can get around the edge and then I'll help you climb down." James said although he could see how impossibly stretchy and flexible he would have to be if he were to do that.

"Jamie." She edged to him, taking pigeon steps to avoid sliding off the roof. He held out his hand and she held on. "I'm…sorry." She managed to say before her breath caught in her throat. "I didn't mean for-"

"It's okay, Lily! Really!"

"I-"

James gave her a little shake on the shoulders. "This is the way things have turned out and it is not your fault." He stated. Lily looked up into his honest face and knew that she was guilty and nothing but guilty, but more than that a feeling in her chest swelled. It left her overwhelmed and speechless. There was a name for this emotion but she did not care for it anymore. It was too consuming and it left all her other senses ringing.

Her hands reached up and slipped up his neck, her fingers almost touching each other at the base of his skull and she tiptoed and pulled his head down to hers at the same time. With a shock their lips touched for the first time.

**A/N:** Ultimate cheeeeeeese moment, but it had to be done. My editors/proof readers are threatening to stop reading if I didn't put in any mooshy bits.


	50. One Small Step

Dear All! Thank you soooo much piptook for reviewing and hello to everyone who has patiently read this fanfic!

I've just finished reading HBP. As always I thought it was flawlessly written although throughout the first portion of the book I was a bit like 'hmmmm' even though I couldn't find a single bone to pick. Mind you, from chapter 26 onwards it was heart-wrenchingly amazing and it truly was a climax! And one that left lots of questions too! The set up for book 7 is sooo itchingly unbearable and I can't wait for the very last HP! What did you guys think of the book?

I also learnt from HBP that Lestrange was at Hogwarts the same time as Voldemort, which means that technically this story is very AU since I've had him go to school with the Marauders! Oopsie!

Anyways, here comes another chapter!

**Disclaimers:** I don't own anything HP related.

ONE SMALL STEP

She kissed him.

The split second the sensitive skin touched she drew back ever so slightly, perhaps as shocked at the unexpected gesture. The touch elicited a surge of something inexplicable in James and he leaned in for a second touch. This time the touch lingered into a real kiss.

With a shock Lily found herself enveloped in something she had never felt before. Their pursuers could have reached them and brought them to a misery worse than hell, magic could cease to exist or the ground could have opened and swallowed the night whole, but still, she would never have released him.

She ached inwardly while his lips attentively brushed against hers and deepened the kiss; they were so persistently sweet in its courting that she would've gladly surrendered. With a gasp she pulled back almost afraid that the feeling would consume her very soul.

Released from a perfect imprisonment James touched her face wondering if she were there at all. He'd kissed many girls but none of them had ever had this kind of meaning.

He shifted his weight-

-Suddenly he wasn't standing anymore-

Lily yelped in surprise as he fell down and slid down the slanted tiles. She made a desperate grab for him but ended up losing her balance and tumbling with him.

James slid all the way to the edge and could not stop himself as he rolled over but his hands managed to hook onto the water gully and he hung there suspended. "Lily!" He made a panicked grab for her arm as she rolled past him and off the edge. He caught a hold on her but his shoulder screamed in pain at holding both their weights.

Lily tried very hard not to scream and she tried to reach the wall with her legs but it was too far away. Above them the roof door exploded and she could hear Tether. The kitchen knife had loosened from her waistband and dropped over the edge followed by a _plink_ a few seconds later.

With a grunt James held on for dear life, it was a pretty long drop. A large Barn Owl flew down by his life holding hand.

"Let go." Tatty ordered.

"_What_!" James managed.

"Let go, trust me." With that she gave James's hand a hard peck.

"No!"

The owl gave his hand another hard peck and fingers slipped.

With a scream James and Lily fell-

---

Their screams cut were cut short; almost as instantly as gravity took hold of their fate they hit the floor. James opened his eyes. That had hurt but surely it should have hurt more since they had just fallen to their deaths?

"Whoa!" he sat up, his eyes wide as he took in their surrounding.

"Where are we?" Lily sat up bewildered and confused.

Creaky floorboards underneath. Uncomfortable. "Unless I'm hallucinating we're in the room I rented at the Leaky Cauldron." James said slowly. Yes, that was definitely his uniform on the bed.

"How on earth did we fall into here?"

"Beats me." He reached out and touched the end of the bed panel and it was solid. Without warning he hit his head on it. It made an audible _thunk_ and a sore patch on his head. "Ow! This is definitely real." He concluded rubbing his head.

"It might have been easier to pinch yourself." Lily almost smiled.

James grinned. "Gave me an answer didn't it?" he reached out and pinched her arm.

"Ow!"

"Oh look, looks like you're not dreaming neither!" They both chuckled which eventually gave way to a strange laugh before they fell quiet again. This was weird. Everything had happened so quickly that there hadn't been any time for them to react and now it all seemed to catch up.

Lily looked up and caught James' eye. "What now?" Meaning what they're next step should be.

James gave a small shrug. "I don't know but right now I really need to pee." He got up and legged it to the small bathroom adjacent to the heavy door. Lily sighed. Well it seems that she was the only one catching up on recent events. Getting up slowly she hobbled to the bathroom door.

"Don't take too long because I really need a bath!"

"I know! You smell!" Came his reply and the sound of the toilet flushing and running water from the tap.

"As if you don't!" Lily threw back and sniffed her robes, if anything they only smelt musty but her cheeks warmed nonetheless. "Come on it's my turn!"

An hour and a half-later James emerged from the bathroom clean with damp hair. After his quick loo stop he'd had to wait for an hour and fifteen minutes before Lily was done with the bathroom. He was about to comment on how long it took before he could have his turn, but the words died in his throat when he saw Lily.

She was huddled up against the headboard clutching a pillow. She sobbed silently, tears that had refused to come before had finally arrived. James knew instantly why she was crying but he didn't know what he could do. There were no words anyone could ever say to lessen the grief of losing loved ones. If time really healed then he wished he had a time turner but he had nothing of the sort on him. Even the clothes he was wearing now were borrowed from Tom, the pub owner.

Sitting down in front of her he removed the wet pillow and opened his arms as a substitute. Without a word Lily scooted into his arms and gave a muffled cry into his shoulder. James wrapped his arms around her while she cried stroking her hair as her sobs grew a little louder and coursed through her body like it had infected her blood.

They sat like that for a very long while until at last she'd exhausted herself and her tears subsided before she fell into a dreamless sleep.

James kissed the top of her head. If offering her shoulder to cry on was all that he could do then that's what he'll do for the rest of his life.

---

Sunlight poured through the open window of the room and fell on the couple collapsed on the single bed. It warmed Lily's face and she stretched a little as the brightness gently nudged her back to the waking world.

Her movement awoke James and he yawned before his eyes snapped open. At first he was surprised that he wasn't in his usual bed in the dormitory but surprise gave way to discomfort because both his arms were extremely dead and he panicked when he chest felt heavy when he breathed in.

Lily moved again and gave a sleepy sigh as well as the answer to why his body was weighted down. James relaxed marginally but then panicked again as he tried to remember what had happened the night before. He relaxed again as it all came back and cleared his morning daze.

Lily's eyes fluttered open and she blinked. The light was no longer so pleasant and they stung her sensitive eyes. They felt swollen even as she blinked and judging by how crap she felt they were probably the least of her problems. With a groan she buried her head into the bed except it wasn't the bed that her face went on to.

"Oh no." She said with her face down on James' warm T-shirt.

"What?" James croaked.

"Don't look at me." She ordered. "I look rough."

"I'm giving you a run for your money mate."

"Can you not argue with me for once?"

"Okay, fine. I won't argue with you. You look rougher than I do."

Lily searched for a comeback for that but she couldn't seem to find one. "You-urh!" she thumped him lightly on his chest and settled back on it. James laughed and she knew he was laughing at her, but at the same time she was strangely comforted by the way she could hear his laughter rumble through his body.

"We need to get back to Hogwarts." She said looking out the window blankly. "We need to tell Dumbledore everything."

James agreed, besides the fact that he'd sneaked out of school Dumbledore really needed to be clued in. "Damn Tether! He's a bloody Death Eater!" he cursed but then continued thoughtfully. "He didn't look the most stable but there was something about him that's very dodgy. Didn't he say something like 'Dark Lord owns me'? That sounds a bit fishy to me. What if he's under the Imperius curse?"

Lily didn't answer and James realised his mistake in mentioning Voldemort's name so soon and brainstormed quickly for a way to back pedal out of the hole he'd stupidly dug.

As if understanding his desperate attempt to undo what he'd said Lily said, "It's okay James, you can say his name. It does make me sad when I hear it but it also makes me a good deal angry, maybe even more so than sad. If it makes me angry then I could do with hearing more of his name because I _will_ do something about him, even if it _kills_ me. Him and his damn Death Eaters! I'll make sure they _pay_!"

James was taken aback but not surprised at her venomous tone. If it were he, he would have been tearing down walls and setting fire to anything that even suggested that it was involved with Death Eaters. But all this was a bit heavy duty for James' morning brain so he took a turn and steered the conversation away.

"I think calling him a 'Lord' gives him too much status, I suggest we call him something like…like Voldie. I mean who wouldn't be insulted with the name the 'Great Voldie'?"

Lily laughed and the tension eased off marginally. "I wouldn't call him 'Great' neither, it implies that he's…well…great."

James nodded. "You're right. Voldie he is then." Lily giggled grateful that he was there.

"Oh look, Tatty is back." She said as she spotted Tatty glide smoothly in through the window and gracefully down onto the bed.

"Yea, about that…" James started.

"Hey girl." Lily said and stroked her head. "How are you?"

The owl blinked. "Fine, thank you."

Lily withdrew her hand as if she'd been burnt. She stared at Tattlaevore's luminous amber eyes in disbelief.

"Yea, about that…" James started again.

"Jamie…your owl is talking to me." She said out the corner of her mouth before tearing her gaze from the owl and looked up to his. "I must be going crazy."

James opened his mouth but the expression on Lily's face…it was just so…she looked shocked more than anything but her eyes were so wide and she seemed so sincerely worried that she may have lost it…it just seemed so…_comical_. Before he knew it a deep throaty laugh had escaped him and once it started he found it very hard to stop. He curled over on the bed and Lily drew back looking horrified.

"Potter!" she exclaimed and then she began to look angry.

"I'll-explain when -I'm-done-laughing!" James gasped between laughter. Lily punched him but still he laughed.

"I must say, you kids are really amusing these days." Tatty observed. James continued to laugh. "Say, care to share the joke?"

---

James and Lily dared to take the Knight bus back and arrived at Hogsmeade without any difficulty. From there they made they way back to Hogwarts on foot since arriving on a three decker purple bus might have been a little too conspicuous.

"Where'd she go? I wanted to ask her more questions!" Lily asked, head tilted to search the clear skies for the owl.

"Dunno, but I'm pretty sure she's hiding from you!"

Lily huffed but let it drop. "So I'm curious of how she got us out of danger and into the room. That was an impressive piece of magic. Nothing wrong with that."

"Not really…that is, if you ask once or twice, but when asked repeatedly…I dunno…" James ducked as Lily took a swipe at him and missed. "Why am I suddenly concerned that this is going to be a very painful relationship?"

"What was that?" She growled.

James held up his hands in surrender. "Nothing! Just commenting on the weather!"

Her eyes narrowed to give a shrewd Lily look.

"Why do you always walk around with bed hair?"

"I don't!" James said indignantly. If all conversations with Lily went like this he would end up with a very nimble mind indeed. She practically flew from topic to topic as if she were apparating from one side of the world to the other and apparently without any warning.

"Yeah you do!" Lily insisted. "You woke up with your hair like that!"

"I did brush it! It's just the way it is. I haven't been able to do anything about it all my life." He gave a mock gasp. "Maybe now that you've seen it in the morning it will start to behave!"

Lily again narrowed her eyes, this time in mock anger. "If I had a bigger hand I would really knock your jaw off!"

"Why only if you have a bigger hand?" James wondered aloud although he knew he was asking for it.

"Because it would hurt more!"

"Oh, that makes perfect sense now." He said shaking his head with a smile. Hogwarts came into view and he pulled Lily back and fished out his wand. "Hang on a minute. We can't let people see us. I'm supposed to be in school still and you…urm we'll think of an excuse of how you got back when we get back in. Maybe Moony will come up with a good one. As for Tatty, she insists that we ask the guys when we get back why her Guardian spirit has entered my owl." He shot a look around. "I guess she's still in hiding."

"Um…" Lily hadn't really been listening because she'd felt the oddest sensation on the top of her head as she turned around to face him. "Did you just throw an egg at me?"

James smirked. "That's not a bad idea but no, it was just a Disillusion charm."

"Oh." Lily looked at her arms and admired how they now camouflaged her. "I bet you have used this charm a million times."

James shook his head. "Nope. We usually use the cloak; it's a lot easier. I'm quite surprised the charm worked actually, first time I've used it."

Lily raised a disillusioned eyebrow that of course he couldn't see, but it wasn't at the idea that she had been at the receiving end of a spell that could have gone wrong. "Jamie?"

"Hmm?"

"So how did you fly about after you arrived in London?"

James paused; it sounded like one of those trick questions that were commonly used to test IQ. "On a broom?" he answered uncertainly.

Lily smiled and rolled her eyes at him. "Yes, of course but how did you fly about without people _seeing_ you?"

"Ohhhhh! That's easy, with my cloak." Lily bit her lip while James looked at where he thought Lily was standing before prompting for an answer. "What?"

"Oh sweets," she said in a manner that made him felt like he'd done something really dumb. "The cloak doesn't work when flying because the wind whips it away from your body."

"Oh." He said feeling extremely stupid indeed, but then he shrugged. "Oh well, at least Muggles would get a kick out of it by pretending I'm a UF thing."

"UFO" Lily corrected and pulled him into a hug. Sometimes, just sometimes she found his stupidity quite endearing.

"Hehe, it looks like I'm hugging air!" he chuckled merrily and Lily yanked his hood over his head so neither of them could be seen.

---


	51. Trollish

A/N: There was an extremely unpleasant and rude anonymous review left for the last chapter. I have purposefully left it so that everyone can see how sad this individual is, however I have a message for him/her to read.

**To that person,**

If you had offered constructive criticism I would have thanked you. I can understand and accept that you did not like the story but your rudeness is uncalled for. I would like to remind you that if you hated the story so much you could have easily stopped reading after the first chapter and needn't have waited until the fiftieth chapter to swear and complain that you have had to read it.

If you cannot accept that you will come across many stories that you will either love or hate then you should really stick to your toilet graffiti reading.

**To everyone else! **

BIG HUG to those who have read and enjoyed this story and big THANK YOU to all those who have read and disliked it without being rude. Lastly, very special HUGS to CherryWolf7, Qwen, piptook and taiyourshoes because you guys do wonders for self-esteem! xxx

Now, onto another chapter!

TROLLISH

James and Lily sneaked down the corridor hand in hand. James was glad that it was a Saturday morning so therefore the majority of people or all the students at least, were still in bed. They were on Dumbledore's corridor at the moment and they had to get past it to get to get to the stairs that led to their Common Room. This unfortunate arrangement had happened as a result of misjudgment on James behalf. Not really wanting to be out and exposed for longer than necessary he'd chosen the closest secret entrance but he'd inconveniently forgotten that it led them to that particular risky part of Hogwarts.

Both held their breaths and tiptoed because they would pass directly in front of the door that led up to the Headmaster's office. Just as they thought they were going to pass it successfully the stone gargoyle shifted out of place and Dumbledore's musical voice carried down the stairs.

"Mr. Potter and Miss Evans, I would be delighted if you could please join us in my office."

James winced. _Dammnit_! He should have taken the longer route around the castle and avoided this corridor like the plague. Dumbledore seemed to know everything that went on in his school.

"'Us'?" Lily whispered with a tone of dread. How many people were waiting for them up there?

James pulled off his hood and ran a hand through his hair. "Don't worry, it's going to be all right." He reassured.

They ascended the stairs and entered Dumbledore's circular office and were greeted by a stony judgmental silence. The Headmasters and Headmistresses where crowded around in their portraits peering down with open interest. Dumbledore sat at his wide desk surrounded by his unusual collection of trinkets but what alarmed him most was the two that sat in front. James recognized both immediately. The man was the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Bartemius Crouch and the woman was none other than the Minister of Magic, Millicent Bagnold.

_Oh Lord_. What a very bad time to be caught doing something that rules deemed as wrong.

Dumbledore greeted them warmly as he stood up. He waved a wand and three squishy armchairs appeared forming a rough circle with the Minister and Head. He swept round his desk giving Fawkes a quick pet as he did.

"Here, let me help you with that." He said kindly and with another wave Lily's Disillusion charm was taken off leaving her feeling exposed. James also followed suit and took off his Invisibility cloak so that the rest of his body could be seen. "Please, sit." The headmaster said and plonked himself down on one of the comfy chairs with James and Lily following suit. "Would you like prefer these chairs Millie and Barty?" He offered. "They are much more comfortable."

"No thank you Albus." The Minister replied.

"Bartemius, please." The Head corrected coldly. "I'm fine with this chair."

Lily kept her eyes averted from Crouch because he unnerved her but then she found herself staring at the Minister. She was a very old woman, her face was so lined and her hair so white that she did not quite look human; more like a relic. Her robes were such a rich shade of turquoise that was almost blinding. Not wanting to stare, Lily looked past both and at Fawkes who ruffled his beautiful plumage and hiccuped a flame every now again showing that he was probably ready for rebirth any second.

"Now that they're here, I'm sure it is suitable to discuss suitable punishments." Crouch started, his voice clipped and hard as if he were harassed for time. With all the recent disappearances and killings lately there was no doubt that he would be harassed but neither James nor Lily could feel sympathy for him at that moment. Quite the opposite, at the mention of 'punishments' their stomachs lurched and they felt nothing but dislike for the man.

Dumbledore looked mildly surprised. "Punishments, Bartemius?" he queried politely.

"Yes, Albus! For your students, who have been out of school without permission!" he said with exasperation and pointed vaguely at Lily although he probably meant the both of them. Lily opened her mouth to speak but the tiniest of looks from Dumbledore out of the corner of his eye told her to keep quiet and she complied.

"I'm sure there has been some mistakes made, Bartemius. Miss Evans had my full permission to leave the school to attend to personal matters."

"Yes, but she was supposed to return straight away. We have the escorting Officer as witness that she ran away and deliberately evaded her return." He insisted.

Dumbledore smiled sadly. "That is true, but given the unfortunate circumstances and the nature of her leave, surely it is not wrong that one would want, _need_ time to themselves. Shouldn't we be understanding and able to show a little compassion towards her actions?" The last part he addressed to the Minster who in turn studied Lily.

Lily's breath caught under the scrutiny. She knew she looked bad with her eyes swollen and it did not take much to encourage enough tears to moisten her eyes. Even she couldn't tell whether she truly wanted to cry or wanted to make the minister believe that she wanted to cry. Anyhow, the old woman studied her a few seconds more before she spoke her voice surprisingly soft and unscratched by age.

"I believe Albus is right. As part of the Ministry of Magic we should be ashamed that such a thing has happened yet again. Your actions were understandable and will be pardoned. We can only offer our condolences."

"Thank you." Lily said her hands strangely trembling on her lap. She didn't want their condolences! She wanted them to swear that they would catch all Death Eaters and put an end to Voldemort's terror!

"Fine. What about the boy then?"

James grew a little annoyed at this and frowned at the man, he was physically bigger than the older man and surely he was old enough to not be referred to as a boy.

"He had no reason to be out of school. And he's stirred up quite a big mess in the Muggle world hasn't he, Minister Bagnold?" Bartemius said seemingly determined to get at least one of them in trouble.

Bagnold nodded slowly and Lily's heart skipped a beat. He was only out of school because of her! She was about to speak but another subtle eye contact with the Headmaster made her hold her tongue.

"Yes," Bagnold said, "Reports have been flying in detailing of a person and a broom flying around London and then out into the countryside. Muggles have gotten excited about these sightings and we're having quite a bit of trouble controlling the matter."

Dumbledore sat back looking relaxed, he rested his elbows on the chair with his fingertips brought together and touching at the tips. "Mr. Potter had my full permission."

James cringed inwardly but kept his face as neutral as possible. That was a straight out lie of course. He'd made Dumbledore lie for him. If or when he got out of this mess he would willingly kiss the ground the Headmaster walked on.

Crouch 's voice grew crafty. "Oh? And what would merit such a special permission. Students are only allowed to leave the school during term time under extreme circumstances. What could possibly give the boy a legitimate reason to be given permission to be out of school?"

Dumbledore smiled, "If the Head Girl has gone astray, who better to find her than the Head Boy?" He said, his tone as polite as ever but even then it sounded like he was offering a patient answer to a stupid question.

Crouch looked dumbstruck. "On a broom? He had permission for him to ride his broom with no discretion? Highly unlikely Headmaster."

"No, that part was my fault." James interrupted. "I didn't think things through properly. I'm sorry Professor Dumbledore."

Unperturbed Dumbledore said, "Apology accepted. We all make silly mistakes at some point or another-"

"But surely he should be severely punished for this!" Crouch cut in.

Bagnold sighed. "I agree with Bartemius, Albus. Such foolishness should be punished to make this lesson well learnt."

James' heart dropped but he lowered his head. "I know. I'm very sorry and will take whatever punishment that I am given." Lily's guilt flared but yet again Dumbledore was watching her with an expression that made her feel it was inappropriate for her to speak her mind.

"Good." Crouch said with satisfaction. "I shall arrange for a Hearing when I return to the Headquarters."

"A Hearing? Goodness! A detention or two is enough for such a small matter. There's no need to bother the Ministry with such trivial matters!"

"But we've agreed that he will be suitably punished."

"And suitably punished he will be, at _Hogwarts_." Dumbledore said firmly.

"How am I supposed to uphold magical law enforcement when students are breaking out of school and flying their brooms everywhere? And they're not getting punished for it!" Crouch said his voice raising.

"I'm sure everyone has had mischievous experiences during their schooling years, Barty. Even you and I. Why, I remember the time when I was young James' age and I happened to have a bag of dungbombs which I had thoughtfully put under-"

"That's quite enough Headmaster!" Crouch almost yelled, his face growing red with anger.

"Bartemius!" Bagnold waved a placating hand and he lowered his head.

As non-plussed as ever Dumbledore continued his voice as pleasant as before. "You're right, that's a story best saved for parties. But what I would like to say is that we all make mistakes and what better time to make them than during our schooling times when we have teachers to correct them?"

Bagnold cleared her throat. "A Hearing will not be necessary, in such times I think our resources are best used elsewhere." Crouch crossed his arms and went quiet, his mood glowering. "But what I am concerned is that your students went messing for several days."

Lily took a deep breath, this, she decided, was the right time to speak. She told them about her escape from the Officer and then recounted what she had overheard and then the events from then on. James listened for the majority and only spoke to fill in his sections.

"David Tether? That is quite impossible!" Crouch cried at the end. "He is a well respected individual-"

"Who happened to kidnap Lily because she overheard their plans to storm Hogwarts! Oh, and did I forget to mention that he tried to get information out of us?" James replied heatedly.

"You do know that David Tether holds a high rank within the Ministry?" Crouch replied just as hotly.

"Which makes him a perfect candidate for the Imperious Curse!"

"Mr. Potter, may I remind you that these are serious accusations that you are making!"

James almost stood up but Lily held onto his arm. "These are not accusations! These are facts!"

"Do you think that as a student you would know better than an experienced Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement? There are tests that every high ranked individual must go through which I don't need to explain to you, but the bottom line is that it is almost impossible for a cursed person to slip through our system."

"_Almost_." James pointed out with his arms crossed.

"I agree with Bartimus on this account. Our tests and checks are rigorous and I have faith in them." Bagnold interjected.

Unconvinced and put out James could see no way of convincing them that he at least had a valid point. "Fine, but you cannot ignore that it all seems dodgy."

Crouch wasn't sure if he understood the overly arrogant and presumptuous Potter boy. He was just like his parents. "It seems what?"

"He means it seems 'fishy'." Dumbledore explained quietly.

Deciding to plainly ignore the last comment Crouch said "David Tether is well respected and I have faith that he is under no influence."

"What so he decided to kidnap Lily and attack the school on his own accord?" James snapped. " 'Respect' my bloody as-"

Bagnold tapped Dumbledore's desk with her wand sharply "That is enough!"

Rankled, Crouch glared at James. "So far we have no evidence that he was _even there_ in your so called kidnap! There is nothing to say that this is nothing more than your fabrication to get you out of detention."

James let out an audible _hmph,_ he'd spent much of his Hogwarts life in detention; did this guy seriously think that a few more was going to upset him?

Crouch, having heard the sound straight away said, "I see Potter is displeased with the direction that this discussion is going."

James glared at Crouch. "_Damn_ right I am! It's not _bloody_ going anywhere!"

"That's quite enough with the curses James. Calm yourself down." Millicent Bagnold warned but it seemed that being reprimanded by the Minster herself had little effect on quenching James' anger.

"What part of it didn't you understand? It's not as if I'm not speaking in English! Or would you prefer it if I repeated it all in another language?" James rallied, his temper boiling just below the surface of his skin. "Give me a translator and I'll repeat everything in as many languages as you want: French, Parseltongue, Chinese, how about _Trollish_? I can do Trollish, give me a translator spell and I'll gladly have a go until you _do_ understand!" If Lily hadn't been tugging persistently at his sleeve he would have followed up his argument with a series of inarticulate grunts to attempt Trollish.

Crouch and Bagnold were stunned speechless and Dumbledore cleared his throat covering what might have been a quiet laugh before he spoke. "As unlikely as you may find James' and Lily's explanation, Barty, I must add that neither are known for dishonesty and even so, they gain nothing in making such allegations."

The Minister appeared thoughtful. "If those are your thoughts, Albus then I will look into it. However, nothing is set in stone. I will try my best." Bagnold stood apparently having heard enough and ready to leave. Crouch also stood up stiffly and everyone else rose from their seats. "I shall speak with you again soon." She promised to Dumbledore as she headed for the door with Crouch close behind.

"I look forward to hearing from you." The Headmaster replied politely. "Goodbye." The Minister nodded to Dumbledore, Lily and James before sweeping out in a swirl of turquoise. Crouch ignored everyone and also left.

Once James could no longer hear their footsteps on the stairs he turned to face the Headmaster who was busying himself with pouring a glass of Mead.

"Sir…I…"

Dumbledore looked up. "Would you both like a glass?" Being still somewhat wound up over the exchange both of them declined.

"Sir, I'm sorry I made you lie." James kept his head lowered since he couldn't quite meet his gaze.

"A little white lie used at the right time never hurts." Dumbledore replied with a smile and settled back into his comfy chair.

"Professor?"

"Yes, James?"

"You believe me, right?" he asked quietly.

"Would I otherwise?" Dumbledore returned, his eyes twinkling. Relief washed over James and for the first time since he'd stepped foot into the office he grinned. Lily stood awkwardly beside him. Taking in her drawn and pasty face the Headmaster said kindly, "I think it would do you both some good to have a nice mug of hot chocolate and to spend the rest of the day in bed. But before you go I would like a word with you Lily if that is okay?"

She nodded and James gave her comforting pat on the shoulder before he headed for the door.

"One more thing James."

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

Confused at why he was being thanked James muttered an inaudible reply and left.

Lily fidgeted under Dumbledore's intense blue eyes and no words passed between them until she actually looked up to meet his stare. "The only thing you can ever blame yourself for is if you do not look after yourself Lily. They brought you into this world and have given you many years of happiness. Cherish those memories and repay them by living fully." She blinked. Tears that she thought had dried drowned her eyes once more and slipped from her lashes.

"Yes sir."

Dumbledore nodded with full understanding that she still needed time to grieve. He reached into his drawer and pulled out an object. "I believe that you will be needing this." He said holding it out. Lily took the long narrow box gingerly from the Headmaster. Her fingers felt suddenly heavy as she lifted the lid and her heart dropped. Within the padded box lay a familiar object.

"My wand." She stared at the polished wood with disbelief. "But I threw it away!"

Dumbledore smiled sadly. "There are some parts of ourselves that can never be thrown away. Do not fight it. Keep it and use it to your advantage."

Lily nodded mutely and left the office. James stood waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs leaning casually against of the gargoyles.

"You 'kay?" He asked noting her tear-streaked face. She was still crying but to his surprise she looked up at him with a wide smile. "No, but I will be. I know I will be." She melted into his arms and dissolved into quiet tears.

"I know you will be too." James whispered and held her tighter.


	52. A Persistant Wart

**A/N**: HEY EVERYONE! A very short but relaxed chapter for you all! It was originally going to be part of the next one _Fauxitaserum_ but I decided to give it it's own chapter in the end. Please do review and offer feedback otherwise I'm writing blindly. PRETTY PLEASE! But otherwise I'm quite happy seeing those lil counters fly up! THANK YOU ALL!

**Special thanks** to cherrywolf7 (accepts chocolate and offers you ice-cream) and to Just Another Harry Potter Fan. I love you both!

A PERSISTANT WART

The tired pair traipsed back to the Gryffindor Common room where they parted with a brief but sweet kiss.

After, James entered his room and collapsed onto his bed, at least that was what he did but the instant he hit the thick duvet a bulk of it jumped and screeched as if it were alive!

"Aahhh!" He shouted jumped back to his feet but stumbled. At the same time he fired a Stunner but missed horribly. The spell ricocheted from the ceiling and narrowly missed Sirius who'd awoken from the commotion. By now the other two sleeping boys were up grabbing their wands in confusion and adding to the shouts.

The 'bulk' turned out to be Nutmeg who'd burrowed into James' duvet for the night and now she was atop the pillow with claws extended and fur raised, emitting a ferocious hiss.

"Prongs!" Sirius jumped off his bed and grabbed James in a rough hug but he quickly decided that his friend wasn't worthy of such affection. "You stupid ass of a donkey!" He yelled and gave him a solid punch to the gut. "I can't believe you ran off like that! _Without telling me_!"

James doubled over onto the floor. "Nothing like coming back." He managed to moan.

"Don't be such a wimp." Sirius rolled his eyes and yanked his friend up by the arm.

"I'll remember this." James promised and edged himself to sit on the bed still clutching his midriff. Nutmeg was still hissing much to Sirius' irritation.

"Shut up hiss face!" The cat responded by hissing louder at him.

Remus laughed glad to see James alive and well. "Was the trip fun?"

"A blast." James responded knowingly. "She's back."

"All's well then." Remus grinned wider.

Peter, who had finally come to and gotten over his confusion, joined in. "Oh my GOD! When them two told me about Lestrange we thought for sure that he was tipping You-Know-Who off! I thought you were gonna die!"

"Thank you Wormtail, for your vote of confidence!" James exclaimed.

Sirius flopped back onto his messy bed. "Yeah Wormy, should know by now that James is like a persistent wart; doesn't go away no matter what you do."

"And you would know all about this special type of wart because?" Remus said slyly.

"Ra-de-ha-ha!" Sirius threw back sarcastically.

James laughed but he knew that there were more pressing matters at hand. "Hey! So what's this about Lestrange?"

Remus and Sirius exchanged a look. "We think he was squealing on you." Remus began and recounted everything to James who in return told them as much as he could about the kidnap, Tether and Dumbledore.

"You shitting me?" Sirius exclaimed after. "The Minister caught you out?" James nodded. "Oh man, you must be blessed by some unknown piece of fortune to get out of that in one piece. If that'd been me I would have been deep fried and served."

"I only got out of it because of Dumbledore."

"As always, that old man always pulls though." Sirius said appreciatively.

"So hasn't Lestrange turned up yet?"

"Nope."

"What if he grasses on you when he does then? Putting him in a cupboard could get you expelled."

Siirus shrugged. "I'll confund him of something. He can't go squeal if he can't get there or find a teacher can he? And he'll have to explain why he was out of bed at that time anyway, so he can't really say anything without getting himself in trouble."

"What if he never comes back?"

"Then we celebrate. It's not as if the school has lost anything important; he's a death eater."

Remus disagreed and looked reproachful. "We've got no proof. If anything he'll be a spy and not a Death eater. He's not of age yet."

"Same difference. He's a death eater in the making then; an ass, just like that other person we spoke to that night. I haven't forgotten about my dear little brother I hope you know." Sirius said darkly.

Knowing that this was more serious to his friend than he was letting on James decided to offer Regulus the benefit of the doubt. "He might not be."

"Oh come on! He might as well have 'death eater' tattooed to his head! I'm not exactly a doting brother or son, so I'm not blind to the fact that my Mother would be _glad_ to send her favorite son into the arms of some evil wizard. He's certainly stupid enough to do it anyway-"

"The Mongrel is upset." Someone randomly said.

James looked around confused at where this fifth voice had come from. "Guys?" he said with alarm that the others didn't seem to share.

"Yeah, you know Tatty is now a talking owl? Meet Nutmeg the talking cat." Remus pointed to the cat.

"Yea, the bloody cat that I'm gonna turn into a mop for the houselves." Sirius growled. If possible the cat gave him a non-impressed withering look.

"And the bat!" Chewy chimed and flew around the room once.

"So they are…protectors?" James asked unable to hide his uncertainty even though he'd already witnessed Tatty's magic first hand.

Remus nodded. "'Fraid so. My transfigured bat, your owl and your girlfriend's cat."

Sirius sniggered. "Amazing isn't it? One of the brightest students of Hogwarts and that's what he came up with to save his best mate!"

James sighed dramatically. "What is this world coming to?" It was rhetorical, _really._


	53. Fauxitaserum

**A/N:** Please pretty please could some leave a review! How about one per chapter because it is quite disheartening for a wannabe writer when there's no feedback even if the stats counter does jump. I dunno, maybe take turns or something…sniff… 

Disclaimer: I do not own HP or his parents.

FAUXITASERUM

Talking animals certainly took some getting used to but the Marauders and Lily took it in their stride. Nobody said anything more about Hogwarts being a target but the students could see teachers walking around warily during breaks and evenings, portraits were alert at all times and the prefects along with James and Lily were asked to patrol more often. However, despite these precautions life continued as normal as it could for a school like Hogwarts for about a week…

James stirred his potion lazily. Admittedly it was a halfhearted attempt and the liquid was maybe a shade lighter than it was supposed to be, but even then he knew it was enough to earn him a good solid pass.

A mixture of Lily and Quidditch dominated his wayward thoughts until he vaguely caught the end of the potion teacher's very long talk. "-Severus, please could you do me the honor of staying a while after this class? And you also Lily?" Professor Slughorn said towards the end of the lesson.

James snapped to attention immediately. The hazy, semi effort mood he'd lounged about in making his potion that lesson evaporated.

"Umm sure…" Lily agreed. She didn't have any lessons after this class anyway. Snape also nodded.

In James' opinion, being cooped up within a few meters from Snape for one lesson was bad enough but staying longer with only the two of them and Professor must be horrifying. At least with the whole class there his greasy presence would appear diluted.

Class finished and everyone filed out with James leaving last. "I'll wait for you outside." He'd said in a reassuring manner. He cast Lily one last look before the cracked wooden doors of the dungeon closed heavily. Lily picked up her bag and books and moved them to the bench in front of Slughorn's desk. Snape remained seated at the far off side.

Slughorn regarded them carefully from his chair and Lily looked back politely but secretly hoped that the strained buttons on his rich waistcoat wouldn't fly off and knock an eye out.

"My two best potion makers!" Slughorn announced with pride.

Lily shuddered mentally. Long had Slughorn been trying to get her to go to his little parties. She'd been to one and had seen enough not to go ever again. Maybe he was finally cornering them?

"I'm so very proud of you two! The very best taught by none other than myself! What can you say about that? But anyway, I'm getting quite carried away. The reason why I wanted you to stay behind is I would like to ask for a favor. As you may remember I always begin the year with some example potions. The more complex ones undoubtedly take much more time and attention. I was hoping that you two would give me a hand and prepare those for the next sixth year's class? I'm rather preoccupied with preparing the seventh year ones, got my hands quite full you see since some take well over six months to make."

Lily had a think. She did have quite a few free periods this year and there was no harm in practicing, she enjoyed potions anyhow. "Sure."

To her surprise Snape also quietly agreed.

Slughorn clapped his hands enthusiastically. "Excellent! We can get started straight away! I'll reward you both with many House points for your service of course!" he added.

Now that, Lily thought, wasn't too shabby at all, seeing as Gryffindor was still so pitifully low on points that even McGonagall seemed to have given up and refused to mention it anymore. "Which potions would you like us to prepare, Sir?" She asked and headed for the ingredient cupboard.

"Hmmm…Amortentia is always a must. Young people are, after all, always obsessed with love."

Lily shrugged. Slughorn had shown them Amortentia in their sixth year.

"As for the others, surprise me! But make sure you keep it at N.E.W.T. level. No advanced out of school potions. If you understand my gist?" the Professor said with a wink. In truth Lily didn't but then she didn't really want to.

"Severus my boy! Come closer and work down here. Be more sociable!" he laughed as if he'd said a very funny joke. "Ladies like their men to be more adept in social skills!"

Lily didn't dare look back. She'd half expected Snape to just leave after hearing a comment like that but to her surprise Snape wordlessly moved and dumped his bag and sat down on the same desk that she had left her bag. It was the far end of the bench but still the same one.

"Your help is much appreciated." He said while rising heavily to his feet. "Any questions then feel free to ask!" he waddled away and left via the another door clearly with his luxurious office as his destination.

Lily pulled out a cauldron. "Would you like to make the Amortentia or would you like me to do it?" she asked as much out of politeness as to break the silence that had suddenly descended like a heavy curtain in the stony dungeon. Even from where she stood at the cupboard she could feel hostility emanating from Snape.

"Chose as you please." He answered after a pause. His words were clipped and terse with impatience as if it were a foolish question. It made Lily glad that they didn't have to work together to make one potion.

"Do you have any ideas of what you would like to make?" She asked adopting another tactic. Meanwhile she pulled out a second cauldron and returned to their workbench placing one in front of her stool and the second in front of him.

He said nothing but stared at the cauldron as if it were diseased. _Or touched by a Mudblood_. Lily thought and rolled her eyes. This was no different from the childish 'lergies' thing that was so common while she was in primary school. _Fine._ She went back to the cupboard and picked out the things that she would need to make Amortentia and made a start.

Although Snape pretended he was alone in the room he must have been watching her because as soon as it became evident of what she had chosen he went to the cupboard and selected his own bits and pieces.

They worked in silence, which suited Lily just fine. Soon, her cauldron with it liquid contents was simmering gently. She stirred it once clockwise and then twice anti-clockwise and added exactly three flakes of the inner layer of seashells before stirring again. The potion instantly turned a beautiful grapefruit color and a fragrant swirl floated up pleasantly. Lily breathed it in. Even though it had long way to go before it could emit unique fragrances according to each individual's tastes she could already feel its enticing qualities. Still, the smell and the exact swirl told her that she was on the right path.

The potion had to gently simmer for another ten minutes before it needed to be stirred again so Lily sat down and began preparing an exotic but sweet little purple flower to be added afterwards.

Beside her, at the very end of the bench Snape was busy pushing his multi tasking skills to the test. With one hand he was mixing his boiling potion in a complicated pattern and with his other he was grinding a sandy substance with his pedestal. Occasionally he picked up a quill and scribbled a few squashed words in the margin of a well-used book.

Curious Lily peered over as inconspicuously as she could. The potion he was brewing appeared colorless even though he was adding an assortment of brightly colored powders in each step. Her first guess would have been that he was making Veritaserum but when she detected the faintest scent of sulphur she knew instantly that he was creating a potion that was way above N.E.W.T. level. _Fauxitaserum_.

In every textbook that contained information about Veritaserum there was always a side note or some sort of mentioning about it's twin potion the Fauxitaserum. In almost every aspect be it viscosity or color the two were completely identical with the only major difference being the functional properties of the potions. Veritaserum forced the drinker to tell the truth, Fauxitaserum forced the drinker to tell anything but the truth. To brew any of the two required a generous level of skill but the latter was not taught at N.E.W.T. level for obvious reasons. Especially since the only discerning quality lay within the faintest smell of sulphur that Fauxitaserum alone had, although it was usually undetectable to all except acute potion brewers.

Snape noticed Lily eyeing his potion and he smiled nastily. "Learn while you can."

Lily forced herself to smile civilly. "The Professor said N.E.W.T level. Fauxitaserum doesn't quite fit that requirement."

"He only said that because he has to. In reality he'd love to show off something much more unique than a standard N.E.W.T potion. But I'm surprised, so you do know something after all, but then everyone can read a textbook and follow instructions."

Lily snorted and went back to her potion refusing to fall into an argument. But Snape seemed to take her silence like some sort of victory and she could _feel_ him gloating from the other end of the bench. In fact, it took him as far as speaking to her again, this time clearly baiting her.

"You make Amortentia well." He said, his compliment surprised Lily and she was about to thank him when he continued. "But then you must be well practiced to gain the likes of Potter and Black."

Lily's mouth dropped open into an 'o' rendering her speechless. Snape had already turned back to his potion this time smiling.

"Of course, I understand now." she said when she regained her voice. "It's only natural that people who don't know how to interact with others would think that the only way to form any relationship would be to trick them with magic and potions. I hear those sort of people suffer from abandonment and isolation issues." She said airily and unaware that she had accidentally struck a deep nerve.

Snape _never_ talked about his childhood, he rarely even thought about it any more but somehow with a few flippant words Lily had dragged it back up through the mud of his past.

"Hit too close to home?"

He glared at Lily, which she returned with a wide-eyed innocence. "What would an air filled fool know? You're just a dither head fluttering around Potter's fake glory." He said nastily.

"Oh yea? And you're just a miserable sod with nothing but your studies and yourself with absolutely no glory."

Snape looked livid. "No glory? No glory…" he muttered to himself. There was _no glory_. Glory was for the idealistic fools that lived for unattainable dreams. She was right, there was no glory for him because he intended to not be a fool. In his mind he spat, _glory can be bottled anyway._

Lily fully expected a barrel of insults in return but he fell back to his hostile silence and now she'd learnt that his silence was really for the best.

---

Almost two hours later Lily put her working cauldron on Slughorn's desk, trusting him to keep it aside until she returned to work on it again next week. She left the dungeon and the miserable Snape and breathed in the breezy air of the corridor. Somehow it seemed less dank and chilly there.

"Lily!"

She jumped at her name and spun around to find James sitting cross-legged by the door.

"James! I can't believe you are still here!" Lily said feeling a little guilty at having forgotten that he was waiting outside.

He got up quickly dropping a book from his lap. It wasn't often that she saw him with a book and it seemed kind of weird but oddly sweet. Lily gave herself a mental shake and tried to rid herself of her girlish thoughts. Snape did have a point, it seemed that she was fast becoming one of those giggle-at-air girls that often surrounded James, and pretty soon she'd be praising him for breaking school rules. _Not if I can help it_. The Lily of the old snapped.

"It's not like I had anything else to do." He replied rubbing his neck. "Free periods."

Lily flicked a tuft of hair out of his eye but then frowned. "I've got free time but I'm sure you have lessons!"

James shrugged. "They're not that important anyway."

Lily's eyes went wide. "Of course they are important! You better get going or I'll dock off some points!"

"We don't really have anymore to dock off."

He actually had a point, they didn't have many points and she certainly didn't want to undo the points she'd just earned for helping Slughorn.

"I mean it Potter, get going to lessons!" she warned.

"Oh relax Evans! Last class is almost over right about now anyway. By the time we reach the Common Room they'll be coming out."

Lily crossed her arms but he was right, lessons would finish soon and it was a little pointless.

"So, uh…what did Slughorn want? Took his leisure time didn't he?"

"He asked me to make Amortentia for him."

He stared at her, horrified. "YUCK! Which poor woman is he going to use it on?"

"Don't be daft! They're display potions for next year!"

"Oh." James looked relieved but then suddenly cheeky. "Amortentia ay? So that's what you've been feeding me all these years!" In truth it had been he who had been trying to feed Lily that exact same potion in the past but he didn't really want to bring that particular sore patch back up. His ego could still feel the backlash even after all this time.

"Hmph, you wish! But that's actually quite funny, Snape said the exact same thing."

The playfulness dropped away. "He did? Did he say anything else? Any rude names?"

Lily knew which one he had in mind since he'd always been rather sensitive to it. He hadn't called her that particular name but if she'd told him the other things he'd said James would be no less angry. Telling him would not be the wisest thing to do. She shook her head firmly.

Snape was difficult and could be very rude but much of it was probably stemmed from the fact that she was dating James and there was no denying the animosity between the two. However, as much as she had come to like the Marauders she was also aware that if they so wished, they could turn the life of any student in the school into living nightmares. Even her biased self couldn't be blind to their potential for being bullies.

He seemed skeptical at first but she insisted and he gave in eventually. "So that means you'll be spending like two hours every week in there with him?"

"Looks like it."

"Hmmm…" No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't help but feel a little disheartened. Why should she have to spend so much time with _him_?

---

From then on, every Monday and during any other time she could spare Lily stayed behind to work on her potion. At first James insisted that he wait outside but after hours of persuasion, curses, sweet-talking, hitting and threatening he finally relented and went to his lessons.

On the other hand she made little if any progress with Snape. The most he ever spoke was during that first session, as he now preferred to think of her as invisible or maybe just another piece of furniture in the dungeon.

Lily worked diligently on her potion and soon the first signs of a pearly sheen could be seen. Likewise his potions were also forming perfectly.

She'd been watching him closely, fascinated by the level of skill he demonstrated in potion making. He'd long since decided that he needed another challenge and set to work on making a Veritaserum to accompany the Fauxitaserum to boot. The latter had progressed so spectacularly that even Lily who was keenly sensitive to potions was having trouble detecting the sulphur.

"That's dangerous you know. You could easily mix the two up." She couldn't help but comment one day.

Snape gave her a look that clearly said 'Only an idiot would mix the two up' but Lily wasn't put off that easily.

"Can you even tell the difference between the two anymore?"

As expected he ignored her, instead he went to the cupboard to fetch his next ingredient but he came back with an empty bottle, apparently it had already been used up. With the bottle he headed towards the back were there was a large walk-in vault that was used to store all the supplies. The door closed heavily behind him.

Lily waited but it seemed that whatever it was that he needed wasn't easy to find and for several minutes all she could hear from the other side was his shuffling feet. Having never had the opportunity to compare the two infamous potions Lily took a chance. Carefully keeping an eye on the closed door she went over to his bubbling cauldrons. She viewed both liquids from all angles and found both looked no more remarkable than boiling water. Next she sniffed one and then the other and was rather disappointed that she could in fact no longer smell the sulphur at all. Did Snape really have a keener sense of smell than she did? How did he know which was which? And most importantly, would he be able to tell the difference if they were switched around?

Struck by a mixture of academic curiosity and mischief Lily decided to do something she would have killed James for if he'd done it. She switched the two cauldrons over and was careful to wipe off a smudge of purple pollen clinging to one and add one back onto the other. Once the deed was done she made sure she hadn't touched anything else and went back to her own cauldron.

Five minutes later Snape came back into the room carrying a full jar of dried husks called Seer's Eye. He took a few and crushed them before adding them to the cauldron on the right, the '_Veritaserum'_. Both potions were as good as ready and according to the book they were finished but Snape was a perfectionist when it came to potions and he added the Seer's Eye to make it all the more potent.

Lily waited, looking over as often as she could without looking suspicious but an hour passed and Snape didn't seem to notice the difference. _Interesting_. So it turned out that he couldn't smell the sulphur anymore either. It was a huge risk of course, especially when making the two potions simultaneously but had Lily not switched the cauldron around he would have finished both perfectly. He was a good potions master she had to give him that, but right now she really needed the loo. She would tell him about her evil switching once she got back. He'd be angry of course but then he didn't even like her in the first place so there was nothing to lose. With that thought she went off to the ladies.

Snape watched her leave. He'd been waiting for her to leave for ages but she seemed determinably focused on staying today, more so than usual. He picked up a ladle and dipped it into the Fauxitaserum. Taking some out he poured it into a cup and waited for it to cool. To him, making this potion was easy; he'd been able to make it since last year and had been steadily taking it ever since…he shuddered, feeling uncertainty creep up his spine…

_"What do you want with me?" Snape demanded warily._

_"The question is, what do you want with _me_?" The tall figure replied. He was pale faced and ghostly looking, his handsome features looking somewhat plastic and gaunt._

_He had not been expecting that. "Nothing." He almost stuttered and hated himself for it. It was a sign of weakness to cower even to _him.

_"But I have much to offer you." He said, his voice full of promise. "Much more than that old fool Dumbledore can give you. He favors the weak and forgoes the strong and worthy. That in itself is a weakness and you _hate_ weaknesses…" his voice trailed, ending with a hiss._

_Snape shivered, his voice affecting him more than he could control._

"_You_ abhor_ weakness. Yesssss, I can see…right…through…you…"_

_And see right through him he could. Snape was held prisoner by his own body as dark eyes penetrated his and delved deep than into the recesses of his mind, disturbing forgotten dust and pulling out painful memories._

_His Mother, cowering under his Father's forceful temper. How he hated her, hated her for her weakness and how he hated himself even more for crying._

"_No…" he cried feebly fighting the invasion. But to his anguish more memories were torn from him. _

_He was running towards the Whomping Willow, this time sure that he would catch Black and his gang with enough evidence to get them expelled-_

_The werewolf!_

_The ravenous werewolf jumped on him; ready to deliver one last bite before it claimed it's meal on his flesh. The sheer terror that had passed and he knew he would die-_

_A stag! Charging the werewolf away and to his horror Potter was there. POTTER! His enemy had seen him in his weakness and shame!_

"NO_!"_

_The prying withdrew and he fell to the floor panting and shaking uncontrollably._

"_Weakness is sickening isn't it?"_

_Snape couldn't bring himself to stand up again; all he could see was the eyes! The eyes of Voldemort! Such power! Had he so wished he could have broken his mind in a blink of the eye._

"_I have _no weaknesses_. What more can you ask for a Master and Lord?" His voice slithered. Unseen tendrils reached out and gripped Snape firmly, pulling him down into the words._

"_Rise to me." He whispered and held out a skeletal hand._

_Snape wheezed. His mind and lungs oppressed by the dark wizard's power. "Yes, My Lord…"He whispered hoarsely and he took the hand…_

That had been at the end of last summer. Now, he felt nothing but shame and rage. He'd never held allegiance to anyone, not even Dumbledore or Voldemort until that day. He had _no choice_. His mind was in pieces; he'd been broken. Consequently from that day he had studied Occlumancy religiously for fear of it happening again.

Fauxitaserum had also become a necessity, being at Hogwarts he was right under Dumbldore's nose, which was probably the intention of He-Who-must-not-Be-Named, but it also meant he was always in danger for being discovered. The potion ensured that he could never tell the truth thus guaranteeing his safety even when questioned. Even if he were forced to drink Veritaserum it would only null the Fauxitaserum and that was only if the former was strong enough. However, Snape knew how he could make his potion more potent.

He stared at the cup hatefully before downing it all in one go and slamming it so hard onto the table that glassware rattled and wobbled. He looked up only to find that Evans had returned and was now looking at him with disbelief.

"Did you just drink your own potion?" She asked incredulously.

"What good is a Potions Master if he dares not to drink his own brews?" He growled back.

Lily walked back to her seat; he'd drunk his own potion! But the question was which? _Only one way to find out…_

She took a deep breath. "Why do you hate me so much?"

He threw her a nasty look. "I don't." Not only did his answer surprise her but it also contradicted with the look he'd given her. Lily gasped; he'd taken the Veritaserum thinking it was the Fauxitaserum!

He also looked surprised but didn't seem to think much more of it than a slip of the tongue.

"You don't?"

"No."

"Then why do you hate James?"

"Because he saved my life that one time! I didn't need saving and now I'll always be in his debt!" he answered with utmost hate. "Everyone goes around treating him like a God just because he can ride a broom and throw a ball in the air! Everything he does is praised! He can spell a word correctly and be praised! I hate the likes of him! Born with a silver spoon his mouth! Mother loves him, Father is proud of him; all the teachers love him! The world adores him! If only he would just leave me well alone! But no, he deliberately seeks to challenge me, to laugh at me and _humiliate_ me! All for his and his goddamn friends' amusement!" He was seething by the end of his rant.

Lily sat stunned. _So that's why_…_he's a victim of bullying…_Whether James had meant to do it or not this was how he affected Snape. The tormenting wouldn't have helped either. She cringed at the memory of their fifth year when James had dangled Snape upside down for all to see his underpants.

"Severus. I'm sorry. I truly am." She said ashamed because many a time she had been there too and she hadn't been able to stop it.

"Don't you dare feel sorry for me!" He thundered. Lily winced but took it all in. He deserved to shout it all out, no doubt if it weren't for the Veritaserum and her pressing he would have taken this to his grave. No wonder he was so anti-social.

"Severus…"

"I don't want you pity neither!" He snapped although he noticed that for the first time she had called him by his name.

Snape found speaking the truth scarily easy and to his horror he couldn't seem to stop. The _Truth!_ Never in his whole life had he ever been that honest! He grabbed his empty cup in a panic and inhaled deeply. Nothing! No sulphur! But then he couldn't even smell it from the cauldron any more! Had he accidentally mixed the two up? Never! He was precise and accurate, every step was flawless unless…

"Did you mess with my potions?"

Lily swallowed, she was used to him being aloof and rude but now he was menacing. "I-"

"DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT?"

She nodded mutely.

Lily couldn't decide whether he looked more angry or horrified. His normally pasty face turned a nasty shade of scarlet. "YOU LITTLE-" he didn't even bother to finish it, instead he plunged his cup into the cauldron containing the real Fauxitaserum and gulped it down despite its scalding temperature. Once he'd drained one he dipped it in again and threw the hot liquid down his throat. He repeated this several times, ignoring Lily's pleas that he would burn himself until he'd finished the whole cauldron. Then, with one last truly venomous look he stalked out slamming the door hard behind him.

**A/N:** Loved it? Hated it? Undecided and in between? Click that button and TELL ME!

The Next chapter is called GREEN EYED. As I was writing it I yo yo-ed between liking it and disliking it…hmm so something to look forward to!


	54. Green Eyed

**A/N:** A very happy birthday to Piptook!

Hugs Cherrywolf!

HamstantorX, u r amazing! I can't believe u read it all in one go!

TO EVERYONE! I LOVE U ALL BECAUSE YOU'VE TAKEN TIME TO READ THIS STORY! YAY!

GREEN EYED

Lily spent the rest of the day looking for Snape but it was all in vain because he seemed to have vanished from sight. She'd checked the Hospital Wing, pestered Madam Pomfrey about a Slytherin possibly with a burnt mouth and tongue. When that had turned fruitless she'd gone as far as hovering in front of the Slytherin Common Room, asking anyone that passed through.

Lily's odd behavior had been noticed by many because it was all but unheard of that any student from another house (least of all a Gryffindor) should be that eager to see a Slytherin. It was speculation time over the reason. Or make it-up-time as the majority of the student body preferred to do. Intent on her pursuit the whispers passed her by.

At dinner time she barely noticed James' hurt expression when he realized that she was clearly ignoring him while her eyes roamed the Slytherin table from top to bottom and then bottom to top again. By evening patrol she again ignored James' playful antics preferring to search every last classroom for the missing Slytherin. Still, she did not give up and even began asking the portraits. She simply had to find him to apologize, her childish prank was inexcusable and prying was even worse. On top of that she somehow felt that she needed apologize on James' behalf too…Lily knew that he didn't mean to be horrible to Severus…well maybe he did… but if he just understood the damage he was inflicting he would stop. Lily _knew _that he would; for all his attitude he never meant to hurt anyone out of spite, that just wasn't who he was and she knew that from the bottom of her heart.

To her dismay, James confronted her midday the next day, he wanted to know why she suddenly needed to find Snape so urgently but she refused to say anything. To his credit he didn't mention a single word of the rumors which by now had grown exceedingly unpleasant, However, her lips remained sealed because it was not her place to tell. Severus hadn't meant to tell her any of the things he did, had he not been under the influence of Veritaserum he wouldn't have confessed his jealousy of James nor how deeply he'd been humiliated by him. She could not do him more harm by humiliating him once more.

Her refusal annoyed James a great deal and he retaliated by using his ultimate weapon, something Lily had come to call 'The Jamie Look'. It was a boyish pout combined with a wounded look that he carried out perfectly with his heart breaking brown eyes. For an instant Lily simply melted into a puddle at his feet.

"Don't give me that look Jamie. It breaks my heart." She pleaded with a kiss on the tip of his nose.

He grinned victoriously. "I know."

Nutmeg, who'd overhead everything snorted into her saucer of milk and rolled her eyes. James threw her a look, which she responded to by a sudden hacking sound from the back of her throat. Everyone on the table looked around to the disgusting sound.

"Everything is all right! Just a fur ball coming up!" James reassured them. Nutmeg grinned evilly, tail swishing mischievously. "Disgusting." She purred, clearly with regards to the exchange between Lily and he.

"As long as it works. I'm fine with it."

"Whatever." She purred again.

"Jamie!" Lily tugged his focus back. "People are starting to look!" Indeed a few students sitting close by were intrigued as to why he was talking to a cat. James didn't really care what they thought and he happily turned his full attention to Lily. However, much to James' frustration she soon left again to search for the elusive Slytherin.

James, feeling dejected and sulky hung out with Remus and Sirius. The threesome had spent the afternoon in the kitchen being pampered by the houselves and was on their way back to the common room in the early evening.

The topic of the day was unavoidably centered around the rumors and with each sentence that it managed to creep in on, he grew a little more depressed and had taken to falling behind with nothing to say.

"Snap out of it man!" Sirius went back and slapped him on the back having noticing his lagging friend for the first time.

"What?"

"You've been in a daze all day!" he complained.

"Lily related." Remus stated accurately.

"Yeah it's gotta be Lily related, how can it not be? I almost punched Rookwell!" Sirius began animatedly.

"Rupert Rookwell?" The name rang a bell but Remus couldn't put a face to the name.

"Yeah him! From Hufflepuff! He was coming out with the foulest things I'd ever heard! Tried to say that Lily had the hots for old Snivelly! Saying that he could give her something that Prongs couldn't, if you get what I mean? I swear if Flitwick hadn't been passing just at that moment I would have punched him and then hexed him some more after! He's lucky he got away quick, mind you that wasn't the worst one I've heard-what?" he questioned Remus who'd suddenly tapped him and was pointing back at James and mouthing something. Again they both went back to bring him forward.

James sighed. "I just want to know what's going on that's all. People can say what they want but I'm not into guessing when it comes to Lily because I'm usually wrong." _And that…_James thought_ was the understatement of the year._ He'd spent a good portion of his Lily-devoted-school-life making the wrong assumptions about her and now that it seemed like he'd made a notable progress, he was very hesitant about making such a mistake again. "I just want her to tell me. Is that too much to ask?"

"Yeah, the whole Snivelly hunting thing is a bit out of order even though I don't believe a word of what's going around." Sirius shrugged, he'd long learnt that girls were not supposed to make sense to them. "Maybe they're playing hide and seek?"

It was supposed to be light hearted but somehow James even took a comment like that to heart. "That's it though, shouldn't she be hide and seeking with me? I need to know what's happened. They've barely talked before and now suddenly she has this desperate urge to talk to him. What can she tell him but not her boyfriend?"

"Ahhh…I never knew that you were green eyed." Sirius said waving a finger at him.

James scratched his head. "Huh? My eyes are brown." At least that was their color the last time he'd bothered to look in a mirror and it wasn't as if they'd done any experimental magic lately.

"Nah mate, they're green! Green-eyed monster; jealousy rears it's ugly head!" Remus hooted picking up on Sirius' words.

James grimaced. "Am not!"

"Merlin's beard! Prongs you _are_ jealous! Of SNAPE!" Sirius cried incredulously before muttering under his breath "Of all people!"

"I am NOT jealous of Snape!" James insisted before he saw something that made his blood stop and reverse flow in the opposite direction.

Ahead in the corridor he could see Lily with the all too familiar black greasy haired Slytherin in question. It seemed like she'd finally found him. Snape was walking briskly whilst Lily tried to keep up and talking rapidly. She looked distressed almost pleading but Snape wordlessly walked on.

Beside him Sirius frowned with distaste and Remus swallowed and looked over at him.

This was not something that he wanted to see. "Lily, what are you doing?" James called out sounding strained. Remus winced; his friend had just done a perfect rendition of a possessive boyfriend call. Lily, being a firm believer of women independence from the opposite sex that she was, would not take well to it at all.

Lily spun around and saw the trio and Snape froze beside her. Her expression flickered and for a second Remus that she might comment on it, but to his relief she seemed willing to let it go.

"Hi James!" She greeted with a weak but genuine smile and nodded to Sirius and Remus. "Hey guys!"

"Hi." Remus returned and Sirius nodded coolly but James said nothing as he stalked up to the where the couple stood.

"What are you doing?" he repeated although this time quieter. Somewhere deep inside he hoped that she would say something like: 'I was just trying to get away from him' or even better still 'he's pestering me, please get rid of him'. It was very un-Lily like to say something like that and given what he'd just seen it seemed like an improbable scenario but he could always hope!

Lily's smile dropped and her eyebrows pinched together but she remained calmly neutral. "I'm sorry Severus." She said for the umpteenth time. "I'll finish what I have to say once I'm done here. Don't disappear on me again." Snape, who'd gone narrowed eyed and stiffly alert as soon the Gryffindor trio had turned up, tore away from his silent death stare war with Sirius and gave her a look of indifference. He walked away, his back rigid and his hand over his wand all the way.

Much to James' annoyance Lily watched him until he was up the stairs and out of sight. Unbeknownst to him she purposely did this because she could not guarantee that Sirius or even James wouldn't take up the opportunity to let off a dirty shot to Severus when he had his back turned.

"James-"

"Oh, so now you're on a first name basis with him?" he said without thinking despite her placating tone.

Lily crossed her arms with much of her good will to smooth things over quickly vanishing. "Yes I am." She answered defiantly, daring him to continue. James opened his mouth but he found that he was getting a little too angry to reply.

Sirius for once appeared to be the cool headed one. "Hey Prongs," he said stepping in. "It's _Snivellus_, do you really think that Evans would go for that ugly bag of grease?"

James closed his mouth. Sirius had a point maybe he _was_ making a mountain out of a molehill?

Lily propped her hands on her hips and faced Sirius squarely. "And what exactly are you trying to say?" She demanded. After her experience with Snape and Veritaserum she was whole lot more sympathetic and allowing towards him. It was attitudes like Sirius' that caused some people to suffer.

Taken aback by the wrath that was suddenly glowing on him Sirius answered truthfully. "I mean he's an ugly git. There's no way on earth a girl like you would be with him right?"

Lily gritted her teeth. "Have you ever thought that there is more to a person than his or her looks? But then I'm not surprised; you're all about looks yourself right? Wouldn't go out with an ugly girl even if she had a heart of gold! I'm sorry but not everyone can be as good-"

"Hey!" James interrupted coming to his friend's defense. "He was defending you! Why are you having a go at him?"

"Yes he was defending me, by implying that maybe by some twisted law of nature I wouldn't be anywhere near someone that you guys deem as ugly. I'm sorry but that sounds shallow to me. Does that mean that I'm only going out with you because you are good looking."

James ran a hand through his hair while searching for a smart reply. His heart couldn't help but lift a little at the complement but it was quickly weighted down again when the rest of the sentences caught up.

"That's not what Sirius meant."

"It's not?" Sirius questioned clearly grasping the end of the stick but James shot him a sharp look and Remus grabbed him by the arm and began to drag him away.

"See you two later." Remus said firmly and continued to haul and drag a protesting Sirius away.

"It's not what he meant." He repeated although now it was clear that Sirius had meant that. "True it's…unusual for you and…_Snape_ to be together." _Snivellus_ was on the tip of tongue and he just about corrected it in time and was glad for it because he knew Lily wouldn't appreciate the name. "The reason is he's…" he trailed off trying to think of a non-swearing or at least a polite way of saying _git_. "…He's a…bad person!"

Lily arched a brow.

"Yes, he's a very bad bad…person." Mentally he kicked himself for coming up with something so inarticulate and _lame_.

"He called you a m…you know! That horrible thing!"

"James that was two years ago."

"He still said it."

"That's was the only time he'd ever called me that."

"Again, he still said it. That doesn't undo the insult. Oh, and don't forget that time he caught us coming back from the Forbidden Forest! And the time even before that in potions!" James said triumphantly.

"He apologized." She lied.

"So?"

Lily sighed. "I'm muggle born. I know most wizards and witches find it hard to believe but the name really does fail to insult me."

"That doesn't mean that it's not offensive!"

"James, will you just let it drop?"

"No." he said stubbornly. "Not till you see my point."

"And what is your point?" Lily demanded, her patience wearing thin.

"You shouldn't spend time alone with him."

"For goodness sake James!" Lily snapped. "Just because you don't like him it doesn't mean I can't like him! I may be going out with you but I can _still_ spend time doing what I want and with _who_ I want! You don't own me!"

James reached out and took her shoulders. She tensed under his touch; it was the worst kind of reaction to a touch during the best of times. He gritted his teeth and went on. "Listen to me Lily. I don't want you to spend time with him. Yes, a part of the reason is purely selfish but there is a more serious reason-"

She shrugged his hands off preparing to walk off but he pivoted and blocked her path. "There are death eaters in Hogwarts!"

"What?"

"Tether was expecting me. You heard him yourself. Someone knew and passed on the information that I had left Hogwarts and the only person that knew I'd left was Moony and I would kiss Snape before he'd betray me. The death eaters would love to get their hands on a student during term time; it's like the ultimate glory to them. Stealing the lambs right under the shepherd's nose or so to speak."

"But why would-"

"Voldemort has had his eye on the school for ages. It's the only place that his Dark Mark hasn't touched. Yes he can terrorize us when we leave its premises but once we return to Dumbledore we are safe or at least until recently. The guys suspect that Lestrange was up to something while we were away. He was owling someone in the middle of the night and was a suspicious as anything. Plus Sirius has suspected a spy among us for ages."

Lily bit her lip thinking carefully. "But wouldn't Dumbledore know if there was a death eater in the school."

"I don't know." James said truthfully. He_ didn't _know. "But Sirius thinks it's definitely one of the Slytherin."

"Why?" Lily asked with some skepticism creeping back into her tone.

"Because! Just look at them! They all seem dodgy as hell! Look at Lestrange and _especially _Snape!"

"So it's about the way they look again. You're judging a book by its cover."

"Yeah but the cover is often a very good indication whether people want to admit it or not. Plus don't forget we've had a look at the contents page as well; Lestrange has the background and Snape has the potential."

Lily snorted. "Potential? If that's what it boils down to then everyone has the potential. So what about Rosie then?

"She's a Slytherin. She's likely to be dodgy too."

"Because of the way she looks?"

"Because of the way she _acts_." James corrected whilst ignoring her sarcasm.

"She seems fine to me. Everyone is different." The two stared at each other; neither prepared to back down.

"I can understand that you have suspicions but you cannot go around dividing everyone into good and bad categories based purely on their backgrounds and potential. What about Sirius then?" she challenged. "Everyone knows that his family is obsessed with pure blood and he has both the _background_ and _potential_."

"Why are you being so difficult?" James finally demanded the volume of his voice raising a little too high. "And what have you got againstSirius? What the bloody hell has he done to you?"

Lily stood her ground. "I'm trying to point out that you cannot discriminate against people like that, especially since your best friend fulfills all the requirement guidelines that you guys seem to use to decide whether a person is suspect or not!"

"Sirius is NOT a death eater!" James snapped angrily.

"See! You don't like it when I simply point out that one of your friends could also be one of your supposed 'death eaters' yet you point a finger and openly accuse two of mine! How do you think I feel!"

Seeing Lily with Snape had already thinned James' fine line but now that Sirius had been dragged into the argument, his temper soared "Fine! Go run to _Snivellus _then! Maybe he'll offer you cuddles and introduce you to his pet snake! I bet if you're really sweet to him he'll even show you how to conjure up the Dark Mark!" Even through his anger he felt regret the instant the last word had left his mouth.

Lily looked away, hurt by his stinging words. "Who do you take me for?" Up to that point she'd been getting increasingly angry but all of sudden all the anger disappeared and it left nothing but an empty void. If she had cared less she would have slapped him hard. Instead she turned and ran.

James watched her go. He'd taken it too far; he wanted to right his wrong but more than that had passed in their argument. He wanted to go after her but he didn't. She just simply couldn't say something like that about his best friend. More importantly, being recklessly trusting could be dangerous. Why couldn't she see that?

A/N: OMG!

Yes both of them are being completely stubborn! They're are pretty much arguing in defense for the same thing. Friends. Lily has seen a side to Snape that James will never see and James as always will always defend Sirius. Just to mention that Lily is not trying to be mean by picking Sirius but she's using him as an example which as seen above, James doesn't take too kindly to. Whether he's being too sensitive and over protective or just misunderstood I'll let you guys decide.

Next chapter: NOT SO LITTLE

Keep reading people! xXx


	55. Not So Little

**A/N:** Thank you all! Kisses!

NOT SO LITTLE

Lily sat in the Common Room quite unaware of her surroundings. Other members of her house came and went while she remained. Her books were open and a blank piece of parchment ready for her but she was having trouble concentrating. With great effort she made herself look at her book.

_"…the essence of a Red Snackle is commonly used…"_

Her focus was tailing off again. The spindly writing faded and all she could see was James's angry face. She'd seen him angry before but this was the first time that he'd been angry at _her_…well maybe not the _first _time but that time had been a misunderstanding. Nonetheless, a twinge of nameless guilt rose but she quickly stomped it out. She had been right; he didn't have the right to govern her with regards to her friends or accuse them of anything. But a little part of her mind kept whispering; feeding the uncertainty that grew bit by bit.

_But he was trying to be protective._

"Stop it." Speaking aloud curbed her unsettling thoughts and she felt marginally better. A trio of first year girls cast her wary looks as she had just spoken aloud to herself and Lily quickly looked down at her book her face warming.

The portrait swung open and the Gryffindor Quidditch Team fresh from practice began to file in. From her seat by the fireplace Lily sat up a little straighter with the book on her lap quite forgotten. Her spine stiffened as Sirius swept in laughing with the Team Captain followed by Remus, who was deep in discussion about their newest tactic with one of the Beaters.

Last through the door was James. Lily's heart thudded oddly at the sight of him. He entered the common room bringing in some of the January cold air from outside. His cheeks were red from the harsh wind on a broom, his complexion pale from the cold making his features stand out more clearly. His hair was more of a wild wind swept mess than his usual tousled bed hair, but aside from her usual desire to mould it with a bucket of putty, Lily desperately wanted him to look at her and not be angry.

She watched as he returned hellos from other students and moved across the room towards the stairs. Her heart skipped a beat as he came close enough to notice her and for a split second he looked at her and Lily's chest filled, but the split second passed and his eyes moved on; his mouth pressed in a thin line. Lily felt stung; he'd _barely_ cast a flicker of an eye on her.

The tension that had overtaken her body buzzed out leaving her to slump back into the comfy chair. Biting her lip she realised that her eyes were wet and she desperately blinked it away. His last comments were still fresh in her mind and their stinging effects had not lessened in the hours that had passed. What could he have implied with that? How could he think that she would run to Severus and be sweet to him? James was the only guy she'd ever consciously tried to be sweet to and now he'd cheapened it all.

This wasn't right. It _couldn't _be right. With a sudden rush of conviction Lily pushed her book aside and stood up. Things couldn't stay like this; she would go up and speak to him. If they could talk it out then good, if they couldn't…well it would be an answer in the least.

Squaring her shoulders she picked her way to the stairs and forced herself to climb them before she could change her mind. She reached the door to their room, this time the doubt was stronger than her will and she hesitated, her hand on the handle. She could hear them talking on the other side while she summoned her courage but that unfortunately didn't turn her ears off from the voices within.

"It ended as a big blow up I take it. You didn't even look at her on the way in." Remus said, his voice sympathetic.

"Yeah, you could say that." She heard James reply, his voice growing distant and then closer as if he were pacing. "I don't know what else to say to her. I've told her what I think and everything! What else can I do?"

"Shit happens, mate." Sirius said flippantly as if not quite in tune with the mood of the conversation.

"Have you tried talking it out?" Remus asked.

"I tried."

Lily's stomach gave a twist and she listened harder.

"And?"

"Obviously it didn't work! Honestly Moony! As if Prongs would be so moody if it had!"

"Padfoot." Remus chided.

"What?" But then his voice grew sombre. "Seriously Prongs, if she's making you miserable I think you should just end it. Really if she can't even choose between _Snivellus_ and you mate, you're probably not worth much in her eyes."

"Sirius!" Remus said with alarm. Peter gasped in the background and Lily's heart began to beat faster and she leaned in.

"It's for his own good! I'm trying to think for him not against him." Sirius protested before speaking to James again. "Since you've been going out you've had good times, but everyone can see you've also had some pretty rough times." A moment of silence passed before James replied in a quiet voice.

"Suppose."

"For every sweet thing I rekon you've had at least two sour things. That can't be good, mate. I know you like her but you gotta start thinking about yourself too. You should be having fun! It's our last year and there's already shit on our doorstep, it's not as if you need more inside the house as well." His tone softened and his last comment made Lily grow cold. "Sometimes, things don't work out. It doesn't matter how much we try to make it to work, sometimes it just doesn't. Be honest to yourself. If you had to describe your time with her in one word what would you say?"

Lily couldn't breathe as she waited for the answer.

"I guess…it's been…_hard_…." His voice came at last after an eternity.

A shard of glass plunged deep into Lily's heart and she turned away not able to listen to any more. With one word from him, any deep connection she believed that they had made between them shattered like a broken spell.

" 'Hard'? Try difficult, time consuming, rough, frustrating, painful, damaging." Sirius rolled off.

Lily did not want to hear the answer to that. Stumbling away she blindly descended back into the warm hubbub of the common room and fell back onto her chair wrapped in a deadened chill. She had her answer but every part of her told her that it was not the answer she wanted. Unable to move she sat like that for a long while until Cerise came down the stairs.

"Hi!" she said cheerfully and sprawled down onto the sofa beside her. "I've completely given up on work!" she declared seeing Lily's books.

"Me too." Lily answered tonelessly. Not quite noticing anything amiss Cerise leant forward like she usually did when she had gossip to share. "So! I heard that you and James had this huge fight." She waited expectantly, unconsciously scratching her wrist under the sleeve of her robes.

Lily swallowed hard and forced on a carefree tone. "Yeah. We…broke up." She hadn't intended to say that but somehow the words had found their way out. Now that she'd heard them said aloud it rang true. How could anyone stay with someone that offered nothing but 'hard' times?

Cerise's jaw dropped. "You have got to be joking!"

Lily shook her head sadly but quickly forced a smile back on. "Didn't work out."

"Wow!" Cerise sat back appearing stunned. "You guys are like the ultimate couple as well…So I guess that means you're both single now." She continued to talk almost to herself not quite noticing that Lily was no longer paying attention to her although she still heard every word. "That means he can date other people and you can date other people." She said lost in thought before coming to. "Uh…I mean, it was just that there are loads of girls out there that like James…so I was uh…preparing you for…for-"

"That's okay, Cerise. It's okay, I understand. There won't be any hard feelings." Lily said her voice-sounding alien even to herself but Cerise was right. Now that they weren't together, he could date other girls. The thought hadn't occurred to her yet but she did remember the jealousy that she had felt when Joey had been around. With a shock she realised that she'd gotten too used to his attention and _that_ was something she needed to rectify straight away.

"You can go console him if you want, although he probably won't need that but I'm sure he'll appreciate the company." The last part was said with utmost control. Without saying anymore Lily stood up and left the Common room not hearing Cerise call out to her.

"Did you really mean that?"

Outside the portrait Lily found Nutmeg.

"Ah, just the right person I was looking for." The cat said. "Couldn't quite remember the password. Now I know what you going to say: 'that it's not safe for me to talk about the castle because animals don't talk' blah blah blah, but sometimes a cat gets bored!"

Lily scooped Nutmeg into her arms as she passed. "Please be quiet and just act like a normal cat for a while." She pleaded and ran off trying very hard not to sob into Nutmeg's soft fur.

---

James took the stairs down two at a time into the Common room. Sirius had been right to an extent.

"I guess…it's been…_hard_…" He'd replied.

" 'Hard'? Try difficult, time consuming, rough, frustrating, painful, damaging." Sirius rolled off.

James shook his head firmly disagreeing. "…But everything that has happened. I'd go through it again, because she's Lily and she was there all the way. Nothing will ever change that."

"Man, you are seriously going cuckoo in the head." Sirius said with a grin. "But whatever makes your clock tick." He added with a shrug.

James returned the grin feeling like he had worked something out and it all made sense. "I can't go running every time we have a little argument. People argue all the time."

Remus nodded proudly, it seemed like his friend had reached a conclusion. "And the fact that she does have at least one valid point."

Sirius looked betrayed. "Moony, why are you siding with her? You think I'm a death eater too?"

"Well from what Prongs has told us, she was just trying to show you what it's like from her perspective."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Uh huh, _sure_."

Remus ignored him and continued to speak to James. "And what you said to her about going to Snape was incredibly harsh, imagine if she'd said that to you."

Peter who'd been listening all the time crumpled his face. "You mean as if her telling him to run to a girl who looks like Snape?" All three simultaneously turned to glower at him with varying degrees of nausea.

Sirius looked disgusted. "Go!" He pointed to the bathroom. "Wash your mouth out immediately! And don't you _ever_ try to put me off women again!"

Unsurprisingly Peter did jump of his bed and go to the bathroom. Once the door had closed the sound of running water could be heard.

"You're being cruel." Remus reprimanded.

"Yeah, so was he." Sirius retorted.

James shook his head, trying to wash the nasty mental images of a female Snape away. "So I was out of order. I know that and I'm gonna apologise but as I was saying, couples argue all the time. I mean you, you argue on your first date all the time." He said to Sirius.

"And that's not normal." Remus corrected.

"Talk to me again when you've been on yours with Yoanna." Sirius replied.

Remus blushed a little. "I will." He said good-naturedly.

"At last! The boy admits it!" Sirius cried with mock relief and ducked as a book was thrown in his direction. "Our little wolfie is finally growing up!"

James stood up and began to back out before more objects became airborne. "Okay children, I'll see you later. I've got some grown up business to attend to."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "What _grown up_ business?" he asked slyly. James gave him a withering look before he left.

"I'll tell you once you've gotten rid of your fleas." He closed the door just in time as something collided with the door on the other side.

Now he was downstairs looking around for the familiar red hair. Approaching the fireplace he spotted a pile of books and a parchment with a sentence in her handwriting where she had been sitting. He sat down on the cushioned chair and noted that it was still warm. She'd probably gone to the loo or something and would be back soon. He reached out and flicked through a book before his hand fell on something that looked suspiciously like a diary. He knew he shouldn't but his hands refused to listen and began to open it before a voice caught him off guard.

"Hi!"

"Hello!" he replied quickly dropping the slim book back onto the pile. Cerise was sitting up from the sofa he'd thought was unoccupied. "How're you?" he asked politely, hoping she hadn't seen him do that. Lily would kill him if she knew he was about to read her diary.

"Fine thanks." She said. "I heard about what happened. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He could have sworn that there hadn't been anyone around when he and Lily had argued yet everyone seemed to know what had happened. Lots of people must have been hidden witnesses he thought with regret and he felt like he'd made a prat out of himself for being unreasonable.

"How are you dealing? You okay?" she asked with concern.

"Yeah, of course!" James waved it off. His ego might be a bit bruised but that was about it? Lily seemed to enjoy beating it down to size anyway. "Stuff like that happens all the time. I'm used to it." he said referring to arguments and tiffs that generally arose between couples, with him especially.

"To you?" Cerise looked incredulous.

"Of course!"

"You?" She repeated apparently bewildered by his answer.

"Uh yeah." He said a little taken aback at the reaction

" James Potter getting _dumped_?"

James felt lucky that he hadn't been holding a drink at the time as he would surely choked on it or at least spilt it over himself. Instead, he gracelessly choked and spluttered on air. "Dumped?"

"Oh, you mean you _dumped _her!" Cerise gaped, misreading his reaction.

"WHAT! What are you on about?"

She began to look confused. "But she said that you two broke up."

James was stunned. "I see." He said quietly and stood up. "I'll see you later." And walked away. It seemed that the 'little argument' he'd come to terms with wasn't so 'little' after all.

---

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter is called 'TIS HOT STUFF.


	56. Tis Hot Stuff

**A/N: **I want to thank you all for gracing me with your lovely and encouraging reviews!

'TIS HOT STUFF

James entered the dormitory and waved the bottles he'd been holding in the air. "Drink, people?" He offered. This was the remainder of their last eventful Hogmeade trip; they had craftily hidden the stash behind one of the statues on the west wing.

Sirius tossed his book aside without hesitation. "Good man."

Remus looked surprised at his early return. "How did it go with Li-"

"DRINK, people?" James repeated forcefully.

With a sigh Remus also put down his book hoping that he wouldn't feel too hammered tomorrow yet looking forward to a chance to relax. Peter hiccuped but if the other two were going then so would he.

An hour and a half-later Sirius was in hysterics and Remus was grinning from ear to ear and Peter was laughing uncontrollably.

"-and THAT my friends! Is how Hickledis Huxley discovered how truly multi-purpose his wand was! Or so I've been told!" James finished and took a huge gulp of Fire Whisky. On the best of days such liquor should be sipped with caution but today was a day he'd rather forgot about so the volume had to be tweaked.

He swallowed some more before he unexpectedly grew forlorn with his gaze fixed onto the bottom of his almost empty glass. "And Lily dumped me." He added.

Sirius and Peter laughed on as if he'd just continued on with the Huxley misadventure but Remus choked on his liquor and had to cough it out.

"Well, it's not really official until she says it to my face…but it's close enough."

"Oh, shit, Prongs. I'm so sorry!" Remus managed still red in the face. He wanted to pursue it further but his Fire Whisky addled brain was having a problem or two forming the right words.

James waved his hand to show that he was trying not to care. "Nah, it's okay. I'm fine." He smiled and downed the rest of his glass. "Just another break up. Life is full of them right? RIGHT?" When Remus didn't answer he tapped Sirius who unfortunately was so piddled he couldn't stop laughing so he turned to Peter. "Right Wormtail?"

Peter smiled blearily and held up his empty glass. "Fire whisky, 'tis hot stuff." He managed to slur before falling unconscious and dropping off his chair.

The remaining three leaned over to see Peter slumped on his back with his legs in the air. James nudged him with his foot but all he received was a loud snore. "Blimey! Don't even let him get near any Goblin Ale. Now that stuff is lethal."

"Ooooo yea!" Sirius cheered and uncorked a barrel of the infamous Ale.

---

Deep in the dungeons on the other side of the school another type of gathering was taking place. They could be called 'friends' if the word was used falsely, 'allies' if the term were used broadly and 'conspirators' if the expression was utilized accurately, however they grouped together with a much less merry atmosphere.

Lestrange, having finally escaped his cramped prison had wasted no time in seeing to return the favor. Now, all he needed was the key element to set it all into motion.

"What is that?" He pointed to the pearly potion set aside.

"Amortentia." Snape replied his eyes not leaving the book once. He hadn't even battered an eye when Lestrange had barged in on his solitude with Regulus in tow just seconds before.

"What?"

Snape resisted a sigh of exasperation. "A love potion."

Lestrange looked intrigued. "In that case…" he took an empty flask and filled it with a healthy dose. "This could be useful."

"Hmph." Snape didn't care who he had in mind; he was more interested in Lestrange leaving him alone.

"I need another potion." He said to Snape once the flask was carefully hidden away.

"Good for you."

Lestrange shoved the book rudely aside. "I have an idea that refuses to let my mind be at rest." He began once he had Severus' full attention. "Black is in dire need for a lesson. It is grinding my nerves and now I think it is time to smooth them over."

Snape looked pointedly over Lestrange's shoulder to the youngest of the Blacks. Regulus remained silent; his hands shoved deep in his pockets. He looked too much like his brother and for that reason Snape despised him already.

Following his gaze Lestrange lifted a corner of his mouth. "Feel free to speak in front of him. He is…let's say… _dedicated_ to a certain someone we both know…" he said enigmatically.

This elicited a flicker of interest in Snape but he carefully concealed his reaction. "His dedication means very little to me."

"But of course, however, it is my place to remind you that it _should_ matter to you now." Lestrange raised an arm as if to smooth back some hair but as he did his sleeve dropped an inch exposing the flesh on the back of his wrist. For the briefest of seconds Snape glimpsed the burnt flesh that fell in the shape of the _dark mark_. The instant he saw it Snape understood that Lestrange had meant for him to see it. His own hand with the identical and _condemning_ mark of absolute loyalty felt like it was on fire.

Lestrange's mouth lifted in what could be called a smile. "Of course it should matter to you now, especially since you can no longer hide behind that self-serving flag you've always flown over your head."

"Say what you have to say and be done with your pointless verbose." He snapped back impatiently. He did not need a mindless Death Eater-in-the-making to poke at his sore spot. The dark mark meant _nothing_ until he was of age. Itmerely meant that they were branded like cattle, chosen personally by the Dark Lord to be taken as soon as their meat was ready. Snape had no illusions of this

The taller boy sneered, clearly rattled by his tone but not wanting to comment on it since he was in search for a favor. "I have need for your skills."

"Use and be used, such is the relationship in our House." Snape replied dryly.

"Indeed. There's a potion that I'm looking for but it seems that I cannot get my hands on it without too many people taking notice… unless it was _made_ for me." Lestrange's point was clear, he needed a potion and he wanted him to make it for him, something Snape had absolutely no interest in doing. He and Lestrange may be tied to the Dark Lord by their marks but unlike him he was _still_ self-serving and he would never be otherwise.

"The cauldrons are in the cupboard as are the ingredients." He informed him coldly and picked up his book again.

"Had I the mind to make it myself I would have but no, this potion needs to be brewed by the finest potion master, which is why I am turning to you."

The flattery was not lost upon Snape but that did not mean that it affected him enough to want to offer his services. Lestrange could see this but his confidence in obtaining the potion off his fellow Slytherin had not wavered once since the conception of his plan and Snape soon learnt why that was.

"The potion that I need is _Insania Insoltus_."

Upon hearing the name of this potion Snape lowered his book, his interest piqued to say the least. "_Insania Insoltus_." He echoed. "Otherwise known as the Draught of Delirium. It has hallucinogenic properties." He added seeing Lestrange in a new but tinted light.

Lestrange nodded with suppressed glee. "Powerful ones at that."

Snape laughed unpleasantly. It seemed ironic that someone who did not recognize the name of a common love potion (novice by his standards) should be so well informed on a more obscure, old and potent potion few dreamt of let alone knew about. "What kind of lesson for Black do you have in mind?"

"What kind do you think I can have if I had such a potion?"

_A torturous one._ Snape thought although he said nothing aloud.

"So, what do your say? Are you willing to help a _friend_ out?"

Severus almost spat; Lestrange was anything but a 'friend', more importantly he had no need for them so his dear housemate was going to have to look elsewhere for his potion.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Regulus move. If his brother was anything to go by, none of the Blacks should be trusted and he deliberately turned so that he had full view of him. His hand instinctively fell to his wand. Regulus shifted uncomfortably under his suspicious stare but he continued to lean against the wall, his arms crossed and with an acrimonious expression planted on his face.

"What are you gawking at?" He jeered like his sibling's true brother.

Snape narrowed his eyes, it was like he looking and hearing the abhorred Sirius and this made his anger boil and heated his thoughts to a simmer.

On second thoughts, as much as he loathed Lestrange he could make use of his petty scuffle and make Black suffer by his hand with minimal contact. "I'll do it."

Lestrange looked neither surprised nor grateful. "I'll have the ingredients at your disposal within the next hour." He was efficient and well prepared, for the ingredients was not to be looked upon lightly; most of them were hard to find even in Knockturn Alley.

"That is fine, but I need you to provide me with one more ingredient before I can make the potion for you." Snape could guarantee that this one ingredient would not be included with Lestrange's stock due to the difficulty in obtaining it without getting killed. However it was one that would come to be very important if he were to make the Draught of Delirium with maximum potency. It wasn't vital but he was a firm believer in making every potion perfect.

"Name it."

"Blood from Remus Lupin… when he's under the influence of a _full moon_." Snape stood up and retrieved from his bag a brew he had bottled after that incident. With a mind for revenge he'd always kept it near.

It haunted Snape, that particular one night over a year ago, forever fresh in his mind. It will _always_ be. Burned in as _deep_ as the Dark Mark itself. He rolled the small bottle in his palm like he was rubbing a good luck charm.

"This," he said, "will assist you greatly."

---

Lily padded up to the third corridor in the dark, in her arms she cuddled Nutmeg who yawned widely.

"Remind me again, why we are up here at this ungodly hour of the morning?"

"I can't sleep."

"Count hippogriffs."

"I'm not tired."

The cat sighed. "It's all about the boy again. Get over him."

"I_ trying_." Lily said making sure she sounded confidant. "I just wanted to check to see if he's okay."

"Why on earth wouldn't he be okay at 3.00am in Hogwarts?"

"He's not in his room." She said defensively. "None of them are, I asked Yoanna to check for me."

"It's not like he can be lost. The boy's stupid but he does still have a sense of direction." Nutmeg argued. "And even then there's four of them; four brains are better than one. You've got to give them _some_ credit."

Lily did not reply knowing that her excuse was falling apart. In truth she didn't want to see him yet at the same time she _needed_ to see him. She needed some form of _closure_ and then she knew that she would be okay. If she'd learnt anything lately it was that life goes on no matter how much you protested, cried or resisted. All she could do was make things easier for the both of them.

They reached the door but for a while Lily stood there staring at it blankly.

Nutmeg looked at the door and then back at Lily before eyeing up the door again. "Are you expecting the cat to open it?"

"It's locked."

"Why didn't you say so before?" Nutmeg gave a little meow and the heavy door swung open revealing an inky black hole. Lily stepped and quickly closed it behind. The cat jumped to the ground and melted into the darkness, her bell tinkling as she went.

"_Lumos_." Lily held up her lit wand.

The air was heavy with the smell of Fire Whisky and bottles were strewn everywhere. Unsurprisingly the room had been decorated to look like a traditional pub complete with a bar. It looked authentic enough to be like a place that could exist in Hogsmeade.

The Marauders slept on unaware of her presence. Remus was slouched over fast asleep with his head on his arms beside a barrel of Goblin Ale. Peter lay curled on the floor snoring. Sirus and James were likewise sleeping on the floor. Sirius was flat against the floor on his stomach, his arms spread-eagled out. With a look of satisfaction Nutmeg trotted up to Sirius and sat on his back.

"Mongrel is asleep." She said, her bushy tail swishing.

Beside Sirius, James was sprawled on his back, one arm flung out and the other above his head, his legs draped over the bench that he'd probably fallen off shortly after passing out.

The reason why none of them was in their room was evident. Lily waved her wand and transfigured four pillows and thick blankets from empty barrels and a couple of stools. With care she lifted heads and tucked arms and legs until they were cocooned in their makeshift beds.

Nutmeg watched slightly mystified. "Are you hoping they'll wake up transformed into butterflies?"

"Its still winter."

"They're drunk, does it matter?" Nutmeg asked while jumping on and off Sirius' back and making a catwalk out of it. Lily sighed and returned to James sleeping form and crouched down.

"I hope you're not planning on staying here all night." The cat said and gave a broad yawn to make her point.

"No, we'll go back soon. I just need…closure."

_I am being so sad_. She told herself. She knew she was acting like the girlfriend who couldn't let go but…_just this once. _Tomorrow she will be Lily of the old. She _will_ let go.

"Good night, Jamie." She said and leaned down to press her lips to his forehead.

Sirius snorted and rolled over in his sleep almost squashing Nutmeg in the process. The cat yowled and spat in his direction.

Lily stood up careful not to look at James again. "Come on, let's get back."

"Gladly." Nutmeg said giving Sirius a look of disgust as drool escaped on the corner of his mouth.

---

**A/N:** I'm still writing (with difficulty) the next chapter: POTTER & EVANS and already it's shaping up to something that will make everyone very frustrated and angry because that's how I certainly felt while writing it! But that's the way I feel it's gotta go to make some of the later chapters that I've already written work! Keep reading and I'll keep typing!

Much love,

Dolli

xxx


	57. Potter & Evans

**A/N:** Brace yourselves people, it's not going to be pretty! You have been warned! Thank you to all who are sticking by this.

POTTER & EVANS

The next day James unearthed himself from a mound of blankets and crawled to his hands and knees. Disorientated and dizzy it took him more than a few minutes to come to the conclusion that he was in the Room of Requirement and that he was suffering the classic symptoms of a bad hangover.

Hindered by a heavy head and a pounding ache on his temples he tried to rouse Sirius and Peter.

"Padfoot, OI!" His gentle prodding quickly gave way to unforgiving sharp jabs. Sirius grunted and mumbled something unintelligible before falling silent again. "Get up man! OI Fleabag! It's morning!" Had James the strength and will he would have gotten up and given him a nice solid kick; it wasn't like he would feel it when he was bullet proofed in those thick blankets anyway.

Talking about blankets, where on earth did they come from? A mystery in itself and James wasn't about to over exert his brain given its delicate condition to figure it out. He gave Sirius another fruitless jab before moving onto Peter.

Only one set of blankets was unoccupied. Unsurprisingly Remus was already up and gone. That boy seemed to be able to get up for lessons regardless of wind, rain, flu or even hangovers. He'd once turned up to class with a raging fever and still managed to take several feet worth of notes more than James and Sirius combined. Mind you that wasn't too difficult since James' notes averaged maybe a small quarter of a foot in any subject and Sirius' was perhaps the title plus one word accompanied with a lot of doodling.

Peter whimpered in his sleep and Sirius resisted all attempts to be awoken. "Sod it." James got onto his feet unsteadily and tested his coordination with a few uneasy steps. He needed to shower and swallow a few gallons of water judging by his parched throat, then just maybe he would consider turning up to his first lesson. Moony would have a hard time explaining why three of his roommates were missing and the 'they've got the stomach bug' excuse is starting to become transparent owing over usage throughout the years.

Half an hour later James was feeling marginally refreshed and sat at the breakfast table nursing a strong mug of coffee. The dorm had been empty and Remus was nowhere to be seen at the table. James was mildly curious to his whereabouts but figured that his friend had probably gotten over zealous and was hard at work in the library. _How_ he was able to do it, when James assessed how simply crap he currently felt after last night was way beyond him.

Someone tapped him lightly on the shoulder and a warm smile brightened his tired face reflexively. He swiveled around with a greeting. "Hi L-" His eyes fell on strawberry blonde curls instead of the fiery red he'd been expecting and he choked on his words. He coughed and quickly took a gulp of his coffee, which happened to be a bit too hot, and he choked some more.

" James! Are you okay?" Joey cried patting him on his back while he doubled over.

James continued to cough while blood rushed to his face.

_Lily_.

Everything that he'd tried so hard to drink away flooded back. He turned his head too abruptly and he felt a _click_…but there she was eating quietly whilst her friends chattered around her.

Something in his chest tightened. She looked…radiant. Her eye-catching hair gave off its usual glossy glow and her eyes were alive with light and he looked...a mess. His shirt was crumpled and his tie looked like a stringy knot around his neck. The glimpses of his face in the bathroom mirror hadn't been nice and he'd nicked himself shaving.

"I'm sorry." Joey said still looking very concerned and nervous. "Here." She handed him a fresh cup of pumpkin juice, which he accepted gratefully. He sat there forcing his focus away from Lily; his odd behavior must be scaring the poor sixth year.

"Not your fault." James said hoarsely and swallowed some more juice to calm his burning throat and his pounding brain. He felt like he'd drunk an ice cold drink too hastily on a hot day, somehow he'd achieved a brain freeze while trying to drown himself with juice. "I was just surprised… by how lovely you look with your hair in curls." He smiled meekly hoping to put her at ease.

Joey went very red and tucked a newly curled lock behind her ear apprehensively. She hadn't expected him to notice something as trivial as her hair. Her heart warmed.

It wasn't often that she dared to come close enough to talk to James but now that she was this close she couldn't help but drink in everything about him in. He looked tired, with dark circles under his normally bright eyes and pale skinned.

"Something on my face?" his hand went up to the cut on his chin thinking that that was what caught her eye.

Joey went impossibly scarlet. She'd been staring. "Uh no." she stuttered. In truth she'd drawn the short straw again and was sent as a representative to quietly probe him for the latest gossip on his status. Had he really broken up with Lily? What Joey wanted to know if it was try was _why_?

However, it was much harder than when they had discussed the topic back in the safety of their room. It was a personal question no matter what way she looked at it and every second longer that she stood there made it even harder to ask.

"Uh…I had better get back. Bye!" she half ran back to her table leaving James puzzled. "Weird." He summed up and went back to mulling over how insanely crap he felt. He cradled his sore head; the coughing had racked and mixed his brain around a little too much. He turned his head to the side so that he could see Lily.

_Lily._

He knew now, how deeply his thoughtless comment about Snape had hurt her. Otherwise she would not have told Cerise that they had broken up. In retrospect he thought his initial response: to drink it all away, was foolish. He hadn't apologized or spoken to her, she didn't _know_ that he was sorry.

He stood up abruptly. He would speak to her but first he needed his brain to work, and for that he needed to see Madam Pomfrey. She had remedies for memory loss, head colds and even leaky ears syndrome, surely she would have something to ease his hangover. With that hopeful thought in mind he hurried away to the medical wing.

Lily watched him leave from a distance where she sat sandwiched between Cerise and some other friends. He was up to something, she could feel it as positively as she could feel dread building up in the pit of her stomach.

It would not be like him to leave things as they are. No, he would _tell_ her in person that they couldn't be together. He would explain why as well, in his own Jamie way he would tell her that he couldn't be happy with her. She knew that he would do it, not to hurt her but for her understanding.

It was cruel. She would have preferred it if turned around and told her that he was only messing about, that he didn't really care for her and that he just wanted to see if the ice queen had a heart. At least then she could be angry and demonize him. But alas this was not the case, this was all because of her, the fault was hers and hers alone.

Lily blinked away some wetness in her lashes. It was hard not to drown in self-pity when it seemed that anyone who had ever mattered to her was snatched cruelly away and the only person she could blame was herself.

Without a word Lily left her unfinished breakfast and wandered away wondering if her heart had broken.

---

The second lesson of the day was Transfiguration, James had already missed the first one but he had gotten what he'd wanted. After much pleading and begging Madam Pomfrey had given in and administered an evil concoction that smelt and tasted like old socks with mold. Pinching his nose James had thrown it down his throat without hesitation while the matron lectured him about drinking in the school, drinking too much and then drinking in general. He sat there for the full fifteen minutes like a naughty student ready to reform under her reprimands and waited for the miracle potion to happen.

To his disappointment he didn't suddenly feel like he could take the world on, his sleepiness and want for crawling into a warm bed lingered still.

"That's because you stayed up too late!" Madam Pomfrey snapped when he wondered aloud whether she had fed him a crack potion just to see him suffer.

But eventually his headache eased and the heaviness faded. James was thankful for small favors especially since it was a vast improvement from how he'd felt just minutes before. With a promise to be good and to drink responsibly James left.

Now he twiddled his wand between his fingers, eager for the opportunity to talk to Lily but it looked like it wouldn't take place any time soon. McGonagall marched up and down the room talking about various spells whilst James looked around bored, his gaze returning to Lily every now and again.

To his surprise Remus was not present. Maybe he had changed his mind and had gone back to bed? For once he was the one left to explain the absence of his friends. Under McGonagall's suspicious hot stare James had lied through his teeth and swore that Sirius had the flu and Peter had poisoned himself in Herbology. Remus, he claimed was still 'ill' which could have been true since the full moon had passed not that long ago.

She must have let off by the skin of his nose because at the mention of Remus' illness she released him from her questioning because she didn't want to draw any further attention to the matter.

James was left to himself and he spent most of it rehearsing his apology with his wand pointing at nothing in particular until he accidentally transfigured some spare quills into a bunch of lilies. The transfiguration caught him off guard and he quickly brushed them into his bag and transfigured them to roses before anyone caught him. He had too much of Lily on his mind already and he could give the roses to Lily…if she forgave him.

Out of the corner of her eye Lily saw James move suddenly and fumble with something before he sat up straight looking guilty. She didn't know what to make of it and tried harder not to look at him. He in turn tried to catch her eye many times but she pretended not to notice in attempt to put the inevitability off just a little while longer, but she knew that even longer wasn't enough.

It appeared that James had decided to deliver the inevitable when he approached her in the evening.

"Lily."

He was met with a stony silence.

"Can we talk outside please?" He asked quietly. Peter and Cerise as well as every other Gryffindor in the room were pretending that they were not listening but they both knew that all of them were a rapt audience. Only Sirius appeared to be openly watching. Despite their audience James feared that Lily might decline purely on the basis of stubbornness but to his relief she nodded curtly and stood up.

"I'll be back soon." She said to the girls and followed James out of the common room. For minutes the silence between them stretched on as he lead the way to the astronomy tower where he knew they would not be disturbed.

Once the door to the tower was closed James turned to Lily. Lily pressed her lips together waiting for those dreaded words, but what he said next caught her off guard.

"I'm… sorry."

An odd lump formed in the back of her throat. Why couldn't he be horrible and just dump her? Why did he have to be all nice about it? It was over, she could understand that.

When he received nothing he fumbled on. "There were some things that I shouldn't have said…about you and Sniv- Snape I mean." He waited for some sort of retort and was very surprised when he received nothing, not even a glare.

"Lily?"

"There's no need to apologize."

"Of course there is! I was being stupid, I didn't stop to think of what I was saying-"

"Don't apologize!" The more apologetic he was the more her resolve crumbled and she needed every last grain of it she could muster. "I _don't_ need you to apologize." She repeated quietly.

James was suddenly at loss for words. He had expected her to be angry but this…he didn't know what the hell it was but it was _scary_.

He tried again. "I guess I was jealous. I wanted it to be me that you wanted to talk to not him. Heck I want it to be me that you go to for cuddles and be sweet to…not that you're not sweet to me or anything!"

James dug both hands into his hair feeling like he should rip it out. Looking at the space between Lily and himself was like looking a pile of extremely tangled and knotted string that he was supposed to undo. His attempt so far was pitiful; he was grabbing handfuls of whatever he could and pulling blindly not knowing which he should untie first and lost at how it had gotten into such a thriving mess in the first place.

Lily bit her lip. It was more painful than she could have ever imagined. All he needed was to say it and be done. "Just say it."

She'd said it so quietly that James had to move closer. "Sorry?"

Lily took in a long shaky breath. "Just say it." She repeated and to her dismay the tears that had been threatening to fall slid down her cheeks. The tough exterior she was hoping to hide behind was rapidly cracking and falling to pieces.

"Say what! Oh shit, Lily I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry." James went forwards his arms outstretched but she waved him away leaving him even more confused and guilt ridden. He'd never made a girl cry before and he definitely never wanted to make Lily cry.

"I'm sorry." Lily sniffed looking upward to the inky night through the skylights.

"Don't be. I'm the one who's been a git." James said feeling more awful by the second as more tears slipped from her eyes.

"No, it's my fault. But I'd really appreciate it if you'd just say it."

"Uh…" James had no idea what she was expecting him to say and it looked like there was no way out of it except by asking. "Say?"

"That you want to break up, that's it's not going to work, that it's over etc etc etc."

James' jaw dropped. Was there some huge gap in his memory? If so he blamed that moldy socks potion. "Why on earth would I say that?"

"Because," she sniffed, "that's what you want."

"Uh no, I'm pretty sure that's not what I want."

Now it was Lily's turn to be confused. "What?"

"What I _want_ is to apologize, for you not to be mad at me for saying all that stuff about Snape. I also want to apologize for not speaking to you sooner because if I had we could avoided some confusion it seems."

"Oh." Lily's thoughts raced, running marathons at incredible speeds. So he wasn't planning on breaking up with her but the fundamental situation hadn't changed. His conversation with Sirius echoed in every one of her thoughts.

"_Sometimes, things don't work out. It doesn't matter how much we try to make it to work, sometimes it just doesn't. Be honest to yourself. If you had to describe your time with her in one word what would you say?"_

"_I guess…it's been…_hard_…."._

In that split second her mind was made up. "That doesn't change anything. Whether you say it or not, I can't make you happy." Amongst the mess that resided in her mind she began to understand that they still couldn't be together, she just couldn't do that to him. She did not want to be the source of his unhappiness.

Sure, he might feel bad for a while but it would soon fade and he would move on. There were hundreds of Lily's out there for him, each of them able to offer him much more than she could give.

Life was precious, she did not want him to look back and question all those difficult times she had given him. She wanted him to look back and smile fondly at the wonderful times he'd shared with someone special.

"I don't understand." James felt like someone had just pulled the rug he had been standing on and maybe he'd hit his head on the way down.

Lily laughed sadly, her normally musical voice twisted in the empty tower. "You have everyone to love you James One less isn't going to make much difference." Lily turned her back to him unable to maintain eye contact. He was giving her the patented James Potter look that could melt glaciers. His eyes were dark and beseeching, confused and with boyish innocence all at the same time. Surely it was wrong for someone to be able to say so much with just one look? But that was precisely what James was doing.

The silence dragged on before James spoke. "It does make a difference, a big one in fact. James doesn't need everyone to love him…but he was hoping that Lily Evans would you know…love him."

Lily's hands went to her chest where something invisible stabbed in and left an open wound. She clutched at a lock of hair and squeezed it into a fist. Why did he have to talk like that? Why couldn't he just say 'I' instead of referring himself as a third person? _Because it makes it easier for him…_Lily bit her lip. She would make it easier for both of them.

"She doesn't." To her surprise James was suddenly behind her, spinning her around to face him.

"She does!" He insisted stubbornly.

"She doesn't!"

"Does!" He gave her a little shake about the shoulders. "I know what you girls think. I hear it all the time! 'You boys are so insensitive; you wouldn't feel a stinging hex even if it hit you on the face!' Okay, so maybe sometimes it can be true but that doesn't mean that we don't feel at all! I'm not the most sensitive person in the world but I'm not dead! I feel…I feel…_something_ and I know you feel it too! I can sense it! The least you can do is not lie to me! Don't you think that you could at least offer me an explanation?" He finished unconsciously pleading to the intellectual part of her mind. "I've felt this every day since I met you, it's consuming and it burns! How can you say to me now that you haven't felt a single thing? Not even a flutter?"

Lily's heart responded even though her mind refused her body the same reaction. She refused to answer his question instead she said something that she truly meant from the bottom of her heart. "I'm sorry I'm so _hard_ to be with." She couldn't help but quote. That one little word had acted like a broken splinter embedded so deep that she couldn't pry it out, not even now.

Something in her sentence struck a chord and _something_ clicked into sense.

"Lily, I don't suppose you…did you…were…did you hear…something?" he managed after many false starts. "Something that I said yesterday?"

"Would it matter?"

"I think it would."

She squirmed out from under his hands. "Don't make this hard James. I'm trying to make the right decision."

"And what decision is that?" he demanded fully intrigued in what earth shattering reason there was behind it all.

"I can't see anything…between you and I…like in the future." She was fishing for words and they both knew it.

James threw his hands up in exasperation. "You were never good at Divination any way!"

"We have nothing in common."

"So what? Opposites attract."

"I'll never change."

"So? Neither will I."

"That's the whole point! Neither of us will ever change! We're both fixed to where we are! It's…it's…" she searched in vain for words when her eyes fell on the model depicting planetary movement. "It's like I'm this one here and you're that one." She pointed to two orbs mounted on two separate spindles. We orbit but not once do we touch-"

"Lily, I'm having trouble understanding this as it is, I think a model of balls on sticks will only confuse me more."

"Okay, bad analogy but the point is, you and I will never reach a meeting point."

"In that case, there will be a meeting point!" He said forcefully. His frustration was mounting up impressively and for once he was pretty certain that he wasn't the one with the thick skull.

"But there isn't." Lily replied sadly and touched the model, her gentle push setting it into motion. Planets and stars began to spin, each on it's own axis. "There isn't."

James shook his head from disbelief. "I can't believe you're saying this…after everything that we've been through."

Lily stopped the spinning constellations and planet and looked away. "You'll be happier with someone who doesn't give you misery. Like Joey or someone..."

He crossed his arms unable to hide his bitterness any longer. "Are you selling me off to your friends?"

"No! I'm not really friends with her."

"What so now you're pawning me off to strangers? Bloody great!"

"Say what you like James, I know you are angry but give it some time and you'll understand that we'll never work out because I cannot give you happiness."

_Angry doesn't even come near to what I feel._ How could she? What gave her the right to decide on what she thought was best for them? To hell with she 'couldn't give him happiness' because she _was_ his happiness. This in itself was a revelation even to James himself but he was too preoccupied to be in awe of it. "Well it seems you got it very well planned out except you've forgotten one very important thing."

"And that is?"

Instead of answering he drew painfully near, Lily back pedaled but he refused to be put off and ended up backing Lily up against the door. His face was so close to hers that her breath caught in her throat when she thought he might kiss her. His body physically pressed her back with his elbows resting on the wall on either side of head.

She wanted to protest but her voice was all but lost. He was too close; he was leaning down, the side of his nose brushed feather light against hers and his lips were just a hair away from her open mouth. Lily had never felt so torn in her life. Was she not so petrified with her overwhelming emotions she could easily melt under his touches and burn in his kiss.

But he did not lean any closer to kiss her; even now he was giving her the choice of whether she would close the tiny distance between them and seal it with a kiss. To him, this was seven years worth of emotions and to her, this was the difference between making the right and the wrong decision. She could end it here or she could selfishly give in and drag the pain out for both.

"What about the person in question? How do you think he _feels_?" He breathed. Lily began to protest and move away but he kept her securely locked into place. "Do you love me, Lily?" he asked softly, his lips almost touching hers as he spoke.

Lily's mind twittered like a caged bird. "What?"

"Do you love me?"

"James, I'm…I'm not going…"

"Answer me please, do you?"

Her throat went dry. She ached. She closed her eyes as his forehead leant against hers. She took a second to memorize and create it as a memory to last her forever before wrenching herself out of his grasp.

"I'm sorry it's had to end this way…" They stood barely a foot apart staring at each other. James was lost and Lily fought against herself. If she had just reached out…he was so close that she could just…_stop it_! "If you would excuse me please…_Potter_." She said. "I have to get back."

James lowered his gaze to his hands acrid to his core. "Oh, so that's how it is now? I'm just Potter again and you're just Evans?"

"I've only ever been Evans." She replied and pushed past him to flee through the door.

---

**A/N**: This took a lot of churning and going back and forth. Almost killed myself writing it, especially the latter part because I kept typing a few sentences and then hitting my head on table and then typing some more. I hate it when they argue or maybe it's just worse because I'm the one making them argue! But I assure you, as far as James and Lily arguing goes this is the worst of it since there's only so much I can take of it myself! Things should get very interesting in the next chapter: SIRIUS' SCOUT HONOR. Enjoy! xxx


	58. Sirius' Scout Honor

**A/N: **Dear Taiyourshoes, I'm sorry I couldn't get this up before you left! I spent two nights twiddling with this chapter but still couldn't complete it in time!

Thank You all for reading and reviewing!

SIRIUS' SCOUT HONOR

Lily flew through dark corridors until at last her legs refused to carry her any further and she collapsed onto the ice-cold floor. Her heart pounded against her ribcage reminding her that contrary to how she felt it was still very much alive. Her jagged breathing echoed eerily within the coldness of the windowless stone walls. In her desperate dash she had fled from the very top of the astronomy tower and ended up at the chilly bottom of a dungeon. With a shudder she realized that even this reflected her relationship with James.

She sat there dazed, shocked and most of all lost. She physically knew where she was because she had patrolled this very place hundreds of times before, yet somehow everything seemed…alien. Given her state, had she been presented with a mirror even her reflection would look back at her like a stranger-

A cold hand touched her shoulder and Lily jumped.

Rosie also jumped back stifling a surprised scream as she did. "What are you doing here!"

Lily blinked, her heart still hammered away and hot blood continued to pulse her veins. Her body felt like it was on fire matched only by the chill embedded within. _What have you done to me?_ She silently pleaded at James.

"Hello?" Rosie approached her with caution. "Are you…dreaming again?"

Lily cleared her throat. "No. What do you want?" She asked her tone a little harder than necessary.

"You're in my way." Rosie replied coolly wishing that she had gone with her first instinct and left Lily well alone.

"Oh." Lily hesitated before a reaction began to take place. "I'm sorry." Feeling like she had forgotten how to make use of her motor functions she climbed awkwardly to her feet.

Rosie watched her all the way. "Is something wrong?" She ventured when Lily stood aside for her to pass. When she received no reply she stiffly stepped past thinking she had already made an adequate attempt to help but by on large she was wholly unsatisfied as well as a good deal curious. The Lily she knew was a vibrant and lively girl, even in dire times when they were lost in the woods she hadn't looked this…lost.

With a sigh and a mental kick she decided to give it another go. "Are you okay?"

Lily nodded mutely but Rosie could see it was a lie. The girl had started to cry silently and this made her uneasy since she was somewhat inexperienced with crying people. It's not like students in Slytherin never cried, it was just that pride often prevented them from crying in the presence of another person. Rosie herself had hidden away in the toilet once or twice in her Hogwarts life.

Lily's shoulders heaved but not a sound escaped her. Seeing this made something stir inside, at first it was hard to identify but soon she came to understand that it was _pity. _Something in Lily's restraint told her that she was not one to cry in public either. This left Rosie with a difficult decision: should she leave and let her have her privacy or stay? She very much wanted to leave but the next thing she knew, she was patting Lily awkwardly on the shoulder.

What should she say? Rosie didn't have a clue so she just stood there with one arm on her shoulder for what seemed like forever until the sobs subsided.

"I'm sorry." Lily hiccuped finally.

"It's fine…do you need to talk about it?" she said thinking how uncharacteristic she sounded. Lily looked tempted but shook her head.

"It's okay. I'm fine thanks."

However, the Slytherin wasn't oblivious to the ins and outs of Hogwarts' popular couple. She wasn't one for active gossip but when the whole school was mumbling about something under their breath everywhere it became very hard not to overhear.

She took an informed stab. "This is about James isn't it?"

Lily looked up sharply and her face began to crumple again.

"Ah, don't cry!" Rosie began frantically. So that had definitely been the wrong thing to say. "He's a git. Not worth crying over-"

Lily shook her head violently. "He's-not." This was the last thing she needed: people to misinterpret their break up. "It's my-my fault."

Rosie crossed her arms as some of her pity retracted. This willingness for some girls to accept all the blame for a bad break annoyed her and especially this case since she would have never figured Lily to be one of those. "If you say so."

"No! Really!" Lily insisted and then words began pouring out of her mouth until she had recounted nearly everything from James' misplaced jealousy to their last exchange. Rosie listened as a partial observer carried by Lily's emotional plight: angry over the first argument, sympathized over the conversation she'd overheard and sad for the break before finally thoughtful over Lily's last decision.

"So it's not his fault at all. It's been me all along…"

"I still disagree." Rosie said after some time. "It's not my place to question your decision-"

"But that's what I've done." Lily finished for her. "I don't regret it. It's for the best, really."

Rosie watched Lily wipe at her red eyes. "Fine, but remember that all is well playing the self sacrifice card but don't forgot that at the end of the day, the one bleeding from the heart is _you_." She tapped Lily on the chest above her heart.

Lily didn't reply.

Rosie sighed. "Look, what's done is done. You should go to bed and call it a night. See how you feel when you wake up tomorrow and then decide whether you have changed your mind because you still have time. If Potter is anything like Black then you'll have no problems getting him back."

"What does James being like Sirius have to do with it?"

"Well just flash him your knickers and the problem will be solved!"

Lily thought that Rosie might be joking but the serious manner with which it was delivered with made her smile a little. "I'll remember that."

"Good. Now get going back. You're breaking your own curfew." She waved her off and continued back to her common room, which was just down the corridor to the left.

"Rosie?"

"Yea?"

"Thanks." Lily said before heading for her own Common Room.

---

Remus entered the buzz of the Common Room and headed straight for Sirius and Peter when he spotted them at a table.

"Guys." He greeted.

"Hey Moony!" Sirius chirped and continued to claw and scratch at his back.

Remus was silently relieved that his absence hadn't been questioned or apparently noticed by his friends.

"Bloody hell! Will you look at these scratch marks on my back?" Sirius wailed fully fed up after a day of scratching. He untucked his shirt and pulled the back up for all to see the multitude sets of red lines.

"Looks nasty." Remus observed his hands going self consciously to his collar. Some girls on a table nearby also seemed very interested in seeing his bare back and Sirius graced them with a clear view.

"That's showing off." Peter muttered.

"I know." He said with a flash of his charming smile. The girls giggled and Peter looked over hopefully but they had already returned to their work. "You can do it too, just bare some flesh!"

"Yea right…" Peter wasn't the most active of people and he did not possess the type of athletic body that girls liked to look at. He knew this and a small part of him began to hate his friend for it.

"The marks, how did you get them?" They looked like cat claw marks to Remus but how so many of them got there was a puzzle and he had one of his own to solve.

"I think it's that damn cat." Sirius grumbled readjusting his shirt. "Must have gotten to me while I was pissed. Now that's low."

"She's a cat." Remus reminded gently.

"She's a fat nuisance that's what she is!" Sirius said. He'd woken up cat branded and to make it worse it itched like hell while his skin scabbed over. He didn't have a clue how the cat got to him under all those blankets. "Oi, Moony, did you bring the blankets?"

"No." Remus had been rather baffled to wake up smothered in them but that was before things became even more surprising and mind-boggling.

"I don't think Prongs did either and Wormy's already said no. Can't have been the cat, dunno how the little fat piece of meat got into the room in the first place."

"Lily." Remus said with a flash of inspiration. "Nutmeg does belong to her. Maybe she turned up after?"

"Hmm…you might not want to mention the L word in front of Prongs."

"Why?"

"Big blow up. We think it's all over." Peter whispered.

"Prongs can't hear you from upstairs Wormtail." Sirius said rolling his eyes. "Apparently she ended it…Oi, where are you off to?"

"Back to the room."

"Prongs is up there."

"Good." Remus left the Common Room and took the stairs two at a time.

James lay atop his bed with his hands behind his head while he stared at the drapes on the top of his bed.

The door creaked open and a shaft of light escaped into the dark room. Remus entered and quickly closed the door again just in case James was asleep.

"Moony?"

"Hey Prongs."

"Where have you been hiding?" James asked moodily.

Remus swallowed thickly. "I've just had some stuff to do."

Thankfully he didn't pursue it any further but he did sit up and turn the light on. "Are you okay, mate?" he asked with concern once his eyes had adjusted to the light. Remus blinked under the brightness sweating slightly. "You don't look too good."

"Nah, I'm fine. From what I've heard I should be the one asking if you're okay."

"I'm fine." He was not fine and his morose tone betrayed this.

Remus waited expectantly.

"I think I'm fine…I don't know what I am. Maybe I'm pissed off, or angry? Or annoyed. A little sad maybe…"

"Sounds complicated."

"It is, I can barely get my head around it. I was supposed to apologize and then she accepts and we live happily ever after. That's how it's supposed to happen. But no, I apologize, she tells me not to, she says she can't make me happy and then she dumps me."

"Confusing."

"Tell me about it. If I ever figure it out I had better get a damn big medal for it."

"Why does she think that she can't make you happy?"

"You see, I'm not really sure about that myself. From what I can gather I'm guessing she overheard some of what we were talking about last night before we got plastered."

"Only 'some'?"

"Probably."

"Damn."

"Really? I was thinking more along the lines of 'damn you shitty bad luck' or maybe 'fuck you impeccable timing for ruining my life'."

"Anymore?"

"I had loads more lined up but I think I've vented it all out now." James flopped back onto his bed and sighed heavily. "Cheers mate."

"No problem." Remus left to brush his teeth and returned minutes later with a vase full of discolored roses. James instantly recognized them to be the transfigured roses and realized that he must have left them in the bathroom after refilling the vase with water. He jumped off his bed as soon as he saw Remus hover over the bin with them.

"No don't throw them out!" He took the vase from Remus and set it on his bedside table.

Remus looked mildly perplexed. "Uh, I hate to tell you this mate but the flowers are withered."

"These few are still okay." James insisted and pointed to the few with the bowed heads. The rest were brown and floppy. Something must have gone wrong with his transfiguration because even real roses lasted longer than this. He touched one sadly; maybe he could come up with a spell to revive it?

"If you say so mate." Trying hard not to think that his friend was weird.

Silence ensued whilst Remus potted about getting ready for bed and James resumed his position and continued to stare upwards. Remus' mind was preoccupied. He knew that his friend needed to talk it through and his usual minimalist answers as opposed to Sirius' maximal comments were ideal. But there was also another reason to his partial answers for he was plagued with questions of his own.

"Prongs?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't suppose urm…Lily's…nah this is a stupid question." Remus said instantly backing out. "It's tactless of me anyway. I shouldn't be talking bout her. I'm sorry."

"No." James propped himself up willing to return the favor of lending an ear. "You can ask. Sure she's a bit of a sore spot for me but I'm not going to pretend that she doesn't exist."

"Well…urm…"

"Out with it, Moony. Whatever it is, it cannot compare with your furry little problem and we all swallowed that with no problem."

Remus nodded. He was right, nothing would ever compare to telling your friend's that you were a werewolf but that didn't make what he had to say any more comfortable for him.

"I don't suppose Lily's urm…ever bitten you before has she?"

Both of James' eyebrows shot up into his hair. This was the last thing he'd ever thought that he would be asked. "Well uh…no, she hasn't…"

"Or any other of your past girlfriends? Or you know, gotten a little rough and sharp with her teeth? "

If Sirius had asked him any of these questions James would have looked away and pretended to be deaf and blind, but since this was Remus he knew there had to be a reason. "There was this one girl, she was fond of love bites you know, just to leave a mark from her and sometimes she did nip a bit…" he confessed.

Remus looked relieved. "Like this?" He pulled his high collar away from his neck and on the pale skin James saw what looked like a bleeding bruise lined with what were undeniably human teeth marks.

James' eyes went wide and his jaw dropped so far it felt unhinged. "Merlin's beard! A love bite isn't really a bite! Have you been making out with a vampire?"

"No!" Remus cried quickly pulling his collar back up. Any relief he'd felt disappeared instantly.

"Seriously mate, that's not right! She's gotta bite pretty hard to make it look like that! How come you let her?"

"I dunno. It just happened."

"Without a fight?"

"Well uh…the situation was…awkward…"

"Oh come on man, she might as well be eating you! You're not telling me that you'd allow that?"

Remus had flushed such a spectacular shade of red that it even surpassed Lily's fiery red and those times were reserved for when she was really really really angry and mostly at James. "AWKWARD situation, Prongs!"

"Oh…OH!" James stared at his friend wide eyed. This was very un-Remus like indeed; it was, dare he say it? More like something Sirius would do.

"Phew, you really scared me there, thought I was going to have to draw stick figures."

"Oh please, Moony! I'm not that dense!"

His friend cast him a look that clearly said otherwise and James gave in. "Okay so maybe I was a bit slow on the uptake but…" he pointed to his heart, "Don't forget the hole Lily left in here. I'm damaged goods now, you should be a little more allowing."

"Right…you think with your heart now?"

"The heart has a huge say you know! I'm a passionate kind of guy."

"That's what Padfoot says when he gets bored of a girl and has his eyes on another."

"I'm a one-girl-passionate guy then." He began to feel dispirited again. _I'm a one-girl-Lily-passionate guy…_ Remus could sense the change but thought it best that he didn't comment on it but his friend seemed to shake out of it on his own accord.

"So?" He prompted after a while.

" 'So' what?"

"Who is the lucky lady…or teething Lady should I say?"

"Prongs!"

"Sorry! I'm curious…and scared! The next time I see you, you might be missing an arm or something because she's gotten hungry!"

"You're just like Padfoot sometimes! Like a dog with a bone, you just won't let it go!" Telling James who she was, was the last thing Remus wanted. Telling anyone was out of the question. James tried a few more times to get her identity out of him but his lips were firmly sealed. He climbed into bed and switched off the light.

"Good NIGHT, Prongs."

"I'll find out somehow AND I'll tell Padfoot what you said about him and a bone." In all honesty Sirius wouldn't really care since it was a well-known long-standing joke when it came to him and his persistence and the joke gained so much meaning when he became an Animagus.

When everything fell silent again James was left with his own lonely and uncomfortable thoughts once more. He felt empty, abandoned and deserted. He turned on his side. _This isn't how it's supposed to be_. He told himself.

---

The next day James tried to pester Moony some more but his heart wasn't really in it. To further his dismay, all his magic in classes was slightly off and with magic, being 'slightly off' could potentially be disastrous. His wand was misbehaving sensationally and incantations went awry. McGonagall hadn't been impressed at his half-transfigured chairs with wagging tails and animals with wheels for legs. The magic itself was impressive and was a testimony to his level of power and skill, but it left him the hard task of explaining that he had in fact, not done it on purpose to disrupt the class. James knew that he had hit rock bottom when even Slughorn (who wasn't shy to praise him for breathing) was a little disappointed when his potion failed spectacularly and melted his cauldron, the table and began eating it's way through the hard stone.

Quidditch practice turned out to be worse than lessons. For the first time in his life James played his favorite sport horrendously. His aim was missing the mark by far and by the time that he had missed the Quaffle for the seventh time in a row he was as frustrated as his teammates over how badly they were performing in general.

Gryffindor had a lot riding on the Quidditch Cup this year since it seemed that they had absolutely no chance for the House Cup but with they way they were playing today, that chance may as well fly out the window too. It was scary how the performance of a few individuals could be so devastating on the team as a whole.

Remus, who seemed to be playing just as bad, tossed the Quaffle vaguely in his direction but he dived completely in the wrong way and the red ball dropped with a thud along with his spirit.

"Sorry!" he called out and flew back down to the ground to pick the fallen Quaffle again. Sirius also landed on the grass.

"For the love of Merlin and the Quidditch Cup please get Lily back!" he cried forgetting all about tact and practically begging. "You're playing like a stunned giant squid!" As much as James loathed to admit it, he too felt like he was playing as if he had one eye in the back of his head covered by his messy hair and perhaps another hidden away in his ear where it too couldn't see.

James opened his mouth to protest that he wasn't playing badly _because_ of Lily but then realized that maybe she did have some part in it. For example, she plagued his thoughts and more often than not he had his eye trained on the bleachers where she often sat to watch during practices.

"Look at the Quaffle!" Sirius commanded. "You and Moony are just as bad as each other! OI!" He bellowed upwards. "Moony I told you get down! I swear if you fall off your broom and break every bone in your body I'm to going pulverize you and feed you to the squid!"

Moony's broom zigged and zagged its way down. He looked positively ill but still insisted that he could play. Even Sirius in his Quidditch-driven, semi-crazed state couldn't deny the fact that he'd been looking a bit peaky all day.

"What am I going to do with two team players down?" Sirius continued to rant like the Team Captain. The real Gryffindor Captain didn't mind taking a back seat when it came to bollocking the team for a bad practice. He liked playing the nice guy and Sirius was very good at speaking his mind. "Moony, get yourself to Pomfrey NOW and swallow whatever she gives you even if it makes you puke up last year's dinner! Prongs, go get Lily and talk to her!"

Remus nodded and limped off but James stood rooted to the spot refusing to move. "She doesn't want to see me AND I can play just fine without her."

"Seriously mate, what channel have you been tuned in over the past hour? If she doesn't want to see you then it's too bad because if I have to tie her to that stand I will!" Sirius began to stomp off to the changing room muttering profanities.

James knew Sirius well enough that none of it was personal and assumed that he would get over it once he had steamed it off. However when he sidled next to him later that evening with a well placed smile his heart sank. Peter trailed after the pair quietly.

"Whatever it is you have in mind drop it." James told Sirius.

"Pomfrey can solve Moony's problem but we need Lily to solve yours."

"I don't have a problem."

"Don't insult my intelligence. A troll can see you have a problem. Look, I've spoken to Moony. She overhead what I said right? All I have to do is explain to her. I will grovel _for you_!"

"I groveled for seven years before she would even say my name-"

"Trust me, Prong! Have a little faith! You!" Sirius suddenly singled out a first year Ravenclaw who happened to pass by. "You know who Lily Evans is right?"

The blonde haired boy nodded nervously.

"Good, then I want you to go find and tell her that you saw a couple of Sixth years hexing some first years in the Court Yard okay? Spice it up a bit if you like, let's say throw in a midnight duel as well."

"But-but it's past the curfew and I'll get in trouble!"

"You're already in trouble for not being in bed right now, but you see him?" Sirius jabbed a finger at James. "You recognize him right? Head Boy, you see? He'll keep you out of trouble."

The boy nodded and was about to scamper off but Sirius hooked a finger through the neck of his robes. "Not a single word about us okay?" he added his warning tone clear. Another nod, this time a fearful one. "Good. Tell her that you've alerted the Head Boy as well and he's on his way but you think that he will be outnumbered and might need help." He said and released the small boy to run. "That should get her running." Sirius thought aloud with satisfaction.

Peter scratched his head. "Why didn't you just ask him to tell her to meet you?"

Sirius yawned. "Do you really think she'd come and speak to me? The death eater guy who tried to get her boyfriend to dump her?"

"Guess not."

"Precisely! But with something like that she'd come running."

"But you lied…wouldn't she be angry?"

"I'll cry about it once we've won the Quidditch Cup."

"No, you'll be _dead_ before we've won the Cup." James corrected. "I'm telling you man, you talking to her won't make a difference."

"I can be very persuasive." Sirius said reassuringly.

This worried James more than anything else did. "Padfoot, promise you won't lay a wand on her. I don't want her brainwashed or anything."

"Relax Prongs! I swear I won't touch a single hair on her pretty head and you have my Scout's honor on that."

James looked doubtful. "Do you even know what a Scout is?"

"Not a clue! But I'm sure that I've heard that phrase said somewhere and it sounded convincing at the time."

"Great…"

---

**A/N:** The next chapter is likely to be called: I SPY, TRAP! But nothing is quite set in stone for that one yet. Giggles with glee Am liking what I've written of it so far! I hope you are all being carried along by the story or better yet, ENJOYING IT!

Much love,

Dolli

xXx


	59. Vandalised Snow

**A/N:** I've changed my mind and this chapter will be called VANDALISED SNOW instead. Thank you all for reading and reviewing!

---

VANDALISED SNOW

Lily anxiously fiddled with the ends of her hair. James was nowhere to be seen. It wasn't that much of an abnormal occurrence but she was nervous nonetheless. Concerned, Lily ventured into the outer courtyard where it was predominately concealed under a veil of darkness. The wide expanse that the outer 'yard defined was mostly hidden due to the contours of the peak upon which Hogwarts sat on; miniature hills and slopes that were perfect for tobogganing made her job just that little bit harder.

She slipped and slid down a slope further down wondering where the fighting sixth years were. They could be anywhere but if they were hexing or whatnot she was sure she'd be able to see the magic fly or at least hear the commotion.

Out of class dueling was not uncommon especially among the older years who were more eager to put their skills to the test, it was something that Prefects, Head Boy and Girl were always warned about. They were cautioned at every meeting that such situations should not be handled alone because flying spells had no eyes and it was unsurprisingly easy to get hurt when you arrive with the best intentions to stop a duel.

She was prepared for the worst, however, once her eyes had adjusted to the low light available, the limited view that she had showed her that the carpet of snow was pristine and untouched reporting to her that no one had been out here for hours. The ringing silence interrupted only by the soft wail of the wind confirmed this. There was not a single soul out here save for her own.

It had begun to snow again. Flakes of shimmering snow trickled down adding to the ankle high blanket already on the ground. Soon it would grow heavier and her trail of footsteps would be lost under the new fall.

Lily shivered. In her haste to come to James' aid she had chosen to go directly to the courtyard without detouring to get a coat, this only served to annoy her further. Lily angrily shook some snow from her lashes and continued to wait. Anger was _good_, it gave her a focus and it could mask the raging torrent of emotions that plagued her. If anything she couldn't believe that James had used such a low trick to get her attention. He had it now all right, and she was going to make him regret ever wanting her attention the second he turned up.

A faint crunch of snow being compacted under footfalls alerted her and she looked up. A tall silhouette was coming down the slight hill, sliding a little at times but otherwise making a steady descent. She couldn't quite see his face yet due to the glare from the castle lights but soon he would be on the same ground as she.

"Evans?"

Lily's heart and a little anger diminished as Sirius Black pulled back his hood and shook out his hair which fell perfectly into place as he did so.

"What are you doing out here without a cloak?" he asked with a frown. How long had it been since he had really looked at her? Looked at anyone properly for that matter? He couldn't recall her appearing small or…little, insignificant even. Be it the illusion of a person alone in a wide space or just his overactive thoughts he couldn't help but be infected by the loneliness that emanated from her.

Lily didn't answer straight away in her need to clarify whether she felt relieved that he wasn't James or sad. "You're going to crease your good looks if you frown like that." She said in the end, quite unable to hide her bitter tone completely. _He only said what he thought was best for his friend; you're being unfair_. She knew that but it was very hard not to be objective.

"Likewise." He said noting the subtle disappointment in her expression when she'd seen him. _She'd been expecting James._

"Shouldn't you be back in bed?" Lily asked although her Head Girl questioning wasn't quite coming out as commanding as she would have wished.

"Likewise." Sirius replied a smile tugging onto his handsome face. He approached her steadily and shrugged out of his rich cloak and swung it onto her shoulders. _Prongs is gonna kill me if she catches a cold because of this._ He thought.

Lily tried to take it off. "I don't need it."

"Must you be antagonistic all the time? Chivalry isn't quite dead yet you know." He said and tied the neck fastening tightly.

She stood stiffly with steel interlocked into her spine incidentally showing every inch of her quiet dislike for him. Sirius took this all in with a begrudging kind of admiration and took his time finishing the knot on purpose.

Once the knot was made Lily took a step back thinking of ways to get rid of him. She couldn't justify putting any blame on Sirius for what happened nor could she find it in her heart to do so, but neither could she act completely indifferent to him yet. Moreover, she didn't need two mouths to argue back at her when she blasted James for his childishness and on top of _that_, she still wasn't quite sure how she might react to James. If she did have some sort of break down or ended up crying she did not want Sirius to witness it.

"I heard there was an illicit duel taking place here and it's not safe for students to be running around the grounds after dark. You know what's waiting outside."

"You're doing it."

Lily almost smiled. "But as Head Girl I have responsibility to make sure students are safe. Besides," she added on whim. "If anything were to happen to you I'd have a lot of upset girls on my hands."

"If anything were to happen to you I'd have a very upset friend on my hands." Sirius answered a little wondrously.

She scrunched up her nose and for once he perhaps glimpsed what James saw in her. Looking beyond the obvious that Lily Evans was an undeniably beautiful girl (he'd noticed that of course) there was something about his friend's infatuation that was always a foot or two out of his comprehension. For example, the lengths to which his friend went to, simply to please her endlessly amazed Sirius. But right now, in the midst of this verbal chasing Sirius thought that he finally understood James' addiction to Lily a little bit more.

There were things about her that drove the addiction, small things really; a collection of random factors about Lily as a person, but when many factors added up it was a pretty big deal. For one thing, she really did have stunning eyes and it wasn't because they were large and heavily lashed or a brilliant shade of green (although all this helped), but it was because the honesty, openness plus whatever emotion she was feeling at the time always shone through.

She was looking intently at him, her eyes bright and he could see…sadness…hurt. That alone was enough to make him want to take all that away and this, Sirius knew, was _what James saw_.

She was fantastically stubborn and headstrong (she had to be_; who else would argue with her boyfriend over Snape?)_ as well as kind and calming… in her own infuriating way. A personal strength radiated from within, her presence was influential even if she did not intend it and all of this came from a simple, almost mundane girl who went under the guise of one of many, but was unlike any other.

With a jolt that Sirius did not appreciate, he hit a realization. She was just like James! Forgoing the appearance, gender and background their characteristics were complimentary prints of each other! Who was he kidding trying to tell James that she might not be right for him? They were perfect for each other. He couldn't believe that it had taken him so long to see what his best friend had seen from day one and it made him feel almost ashamed…

Lily crossed her arms, uncomfortable under his stare. "What is it with you tonight, can you not form your own words?"

To her surprise Sirius let out a laugh. "Prongs is right, when you get annoyed you do get prettier. No wonder he spends so much time winding you up."

"What do you want Sirius?" she demanded quietly.

Sirius held her gaze steady while he contemplated whether to answer her truthfully. He hadn't intended on speaking to Lily prior to the very bad Quidditch practice but now that it had occurred and James looked like he wasn't going to do anything, he knew he had to do something. Especially since the Cup was riding on it and now that he'd made the opportunity present itself, but suddenly he didn't know what to say thanks his newest discovery. Admittedly, he had come with a single-track mind of dragging Lily back to James, with the aid of memory charms if necessary (ones that would last at least until the Cup was sitting on McGonagall's shelf) but little had he expected to have to fix emotional calluses.

Having gotten this far he decided that the best approach was the direct approach. "I want you to end his misery." He told her flatly. Lily blinked and he ploughed on. "Quite frankly girls are a bit of a mystery to us and you above all confuse Prongs the most. He's damn right miserable at the moment and you…" he waved his hand at her not quite sure what he was pointing at. This, he decided, whatever 'this' was; was as close as he could manage to saying a fraction of what had crossed his mind earlier. "You're…acting so _damn_ _bloody _normal…"

Lily would have taken pride in her I'm-all-right performance were she not so taken aback. She opened her mouth but she was speechless. She couldn't understand what he was trying to say but it sounded like he might have a go at her.

_And I deserve it_.

"_I can't believe you're saying this…after everything that we've been through."_

_James._ She thought sorrowfully. _I'm sorry_ _but this is for the best_…

He had the right to; she had hurt James. James would never admit it but his expression last night had said it all. Sirius being his best friend could see it as clear as day just as she could. She, Lily Evans had hurt James Potter. Her apparent indifference to it all was like adding oil to a fire and Sirius' anger on behalf of his friend and brought him here to confront her; little did he know that inside her heart she was slowly bleeding.

Sirius' next words turned her world upside down. "…But I can see you're not happy either. If you're upset about whatever you overheard then you can't have heard the whole thing. Yes I was an ass and I kinda did suggest that you guys break it up but if you're this upset I'm guessing you didn't hear the bit where Prongs swore that he'd stick by you… simply because you're you."

His tone changed considerably and Lily listened throughout with something stirring slowly inside. She wanted to be sick, she wanted to cry, she wanted to laugh but most of all she wanted to _know_. "But he said that being with me was 'hard'." Were her attention not so completely fixed on Sirius she might have flinched at having to say that tormenting word aloud.

Sirius could clearly imagine Lily standing outside their bedroom with her ear against the door. He could understand that how after hearing your boyfriend say something like that signaled for an appropriate time to leave which consequently led her to miss the vital part of the conversation. "Yea, but he also said that all the crap he's been through he'll gladly do a full replay because you were there with him."

This was too much of a revelation to Lily and it was…overwhelming. "Look, Sirius." She said shakily, her breaths coming out in puffs of condensation. She pressed her lips together not sure what it was she wanted to say but something occurred to her as the cold reminded her of where she was and why she was there. "You tricked me to come out here didn't you? You're the one who pretended that there was a duel taking place out here!"

He shrugged while surprised at the 360-degree turn in the conversation. "So what if I did? How else was going to get you to talk to me?"

"I can't believe I fell for such a dirty trick-"

Sirius suddenly reached out and his hand clamped onto her wrist causing her to jump.

"Shh!" he said sharply and lifted his nose up to the air. He clearly sensed that something was wrong. Wide-eyed Lily looked around them but she couldn't see nor hear anything. She was about to ask him when she heard movement. "There's someone out there. Human I think." He whispered in a low voice. Lily nodded and her eyes searched their surroundings sign for anything humanoid shaped. "Hello?" he called out his voice strangely muted in the snow heavy air.

She didn't know whether she was infected by his wary reaction or overreacting to nervousness, but she was taking no chances and pulled out her wand. Sirius continued to survey around them, his eyes darting from pole to pole. Whatever it was that he could smell or detect Lily couldn't sense it, but being an Animagus dog she guessed that he might have developed keener senses over time.

Nobody replied to Sirius' call. He took a step forward but Lily pulled him back. "We are going back to the castle." She told him firmly.

"Relax. It might be Prongs. Maybe he couldn't take it and turned up after all? Hey Prongs! We know you're out there! Lily says she won't be mad, come one out and maybe we can talk it out?"

Lily slapped his arm. "I never said that and I am still angry! You lied to trick me out here!"

"Shh…it's cold and I wanna go in and we can't leave the poor sod out here. OI Prongs! It's cold you know, quit messing around and let's go back in where it's warm-" He stopped himself and perked his ears up. Even Lily could hear the sound of slow movement. Something sounded like it was being dragged along the snow…something heavy…

Lily swallowed hard. "I don't think that's James." The sound continued. Snow crushed underfoot and the crunch of heavy pressure on ice.

"I said quit playing!" Sirius yelled and went ahead with Lily dragging behind him. He went up a mini snow drift and slid down-

"Bloody hell!" Sirius gasped staring at the vandalised snow and ice at his feet. They had practically fallen into a pool of ice commingled in…red…blood. A big red ice pool…in the centre of it all like a macabre exhibit lay a…Centaur.

"Shit!"

Centaurs were by no means meek creatures. The one that lay before them was fully-grown and both the human part and animal part displayed Herculean bulky muscles. Should a Centaur that size choose to greet those unfortunate with a hind kick, the powerful legs alone would secure a painful death.

It had to be more than bloody difficult to kill one of them but here one of them was…dead. The torso of the man carried a horrific wound. A cut that started from the neck extended to the underside of the horse-like body. The skin that lined the fatal wound curled up and out, with burnt edges like angry lips. The warm blood from the body had mixed into the snow turning into a bloody slush.

Lily had never been squeamish in her whole life but at that moment she had to look away from the sight as a handful of intestines slipped and slithered out onto the snow. Sirius instinctively put a hand on her shoulder for comfort although it was as much for his benefit as hers. Never in his life had he seen something so sickening, appalling, nauseating…so bloody.

There was no doubt about it that the poor guy was dead, who could survive wounds like that? But compelled to be one hundred percent certain Sirius hopped over on the ravaged snow not wanting to touch the bloody ice and leaned over to feel for a pulse. There was nothing but the skin was still warm. Blood continued to drip and leak out of the corpse…a recent killing…within the hour…maybe minutes…or even seconds…the fine hairs on his neck rose…

_Shit!_

He was by Lily's side in an instant. "We need to get out of here!" He grabbed her hand and began pulling her back up the hill even as alarms went off for all his senses-

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**A/N:** Bit of a cliffie! The next chapter is called: I SPY, TRAP! Enjoy! xxx


	60. I Spy, Trap!

**A/N:** Sorry about the late update! Work got too demanding!

**Quick Summary:** Lily and James have broken up! James is quietly devastated and this has manifested in his magic: unable to complete full transfigurations and subconsciously transfiguring quills into lilies (which he quickly turned into roses but have unfortunately wilted prematurely but he still keeps them), his potion also went very wrong. His Quidditch is suffering and Sirius has decided to take it into his own hands and has tricked Lily to meet him in the outer courtyard.

Lily is emotionally destroyed but was adamant about 'making the right choice' until Sirius got through to her. Remus has resurfaced from a brief spell of disappearance with a horrendous love bite and has been feeling sick since…

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I SPY, TRAP!

Remus tried not to stumble. Sirius may think that he needed to go see Madam Pomfrey but that was the last thing he wanted to do, all that he wanted was to see _her._ His _love_, if only he could find herWith one look from her beautiful eyes she could heal him of all ailments. His sluggish limbs were ready to dance at the glorious thought of her. He released a contented sigh that did not help his already labored breathing.

Quidditch practice had ended long hours ago and the time that had passed since was nothing except pure agony. Hidden away in an obscure part of the school Remus had pined the pain away, rocking back and forth, feverishly adamant that he was fine whilst fine tremors of emotional and physical pain racked his body. His heated mind started to pass in and out of consciousness and he began to lose touch with the outside world. The nausea was intense and inside something stirred, changed and _moved_. It was frighteningly _familiar._

Agonized, Remus looked up to the window and saw a pale, sickly half moon. The sight might have comforted him had its incomplete appearance not felt so surreal, almost unreal. His body and mind chased the cycles of the moon. The beast within gnawed impatiently and it grew steadily before it was only a hair from tearing its way out yet the moon was incomplete!

Something was wrong.

His vision changed before him and his senses grew keener. The moon appeared to swell and swoon before his very eyes although it gained no more fullness and remained little more than a swollen crescent. Oh how that 'little more' tormented Remus' mortal soul!

With a kind of horror that he had never known, Remus cried out in desperation and pain. He wasn't ready to transform! _It wasn't safe for him to transform_! His human voice rang out weak but it was quickly swallowed by a more guttural moan. Limbs extended and joints collapsed and reformed with a design to become a deadly predator. Sinews twisted and strengthened and course hair sprouted. Impressive teeth formed a yawning maw that could crush fragile bone stretched forth under a snout.

_James! Sirius! Help me…_

With that last desperate plea, his mind was shoved and pushed aside, into a hidden niche and the 'wolf seized control. Sharp clawed and hackles risen, a werewolf crept within the halls for the first time in Hogwarts' history, slowly and purposefully…seeking the freedom of the night and escaping the confines in which its pitiful human counterpart lived in.

_Blood._ It could smell blood. A fresh kill beckoned and the werewolf followed.

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"This is bad. Very bad!" James paced the bedroom floor. Sirius had been gone a long while and James was immensely worried. He couldn't say what he feared more: Lily coming back brainwashed or Sirius coming back maimed, either seemed equally likely.

"It can't be that bad." Peter tried to console.

James tried not to tear his hair out. "Trust me it can be that bad."

"Padfoot isn't going to hurt her or anything. At least I don't think he would…if there was a chance that he would I'm sure it's small."

James wasn't too comforted by that. "That's not the only thing I'm worried about. What if Lily, I dunno, retaliates or she gets too pissed off? Seriously! Being on the receiving end of her Stinging Hex isn't fun and I know that from first hand experience-"

"Oh yea, I remember that, third year on the train, right?"

James stopped halfway in his pacing caught up between the painful memory and the thought of Lily and Sirius firing hexes at each other. This has got to be the worse thing ever! What was he thinking letting Sirius talk to her alone? "Oh God! I've gotta go save Padfoot!" With that he grabbed a cloak before thundering out of room and flying out of the Common Room.

The main doors were long since closed and bolted so James took several flights of stairs down aiming to exit via a secret passage from the dungeons. He stopped abruptly when something flickered out of sight around the corner. He stared at the spot where it had disappeared before approaching with caution.

A very cold breeze carrying the smell of snow greeted him.

In front of him was a door and behind it in the room beyond was an exit hidden behind a movable pillar. The cleverly concealed short tunnel behind the pillar led directly outside into the main courtyard.

But something was amiss…

Through the open door under the gloomy light he could see that the pillar had already been moved aside and the tunnel was exposed. Someone had gotten here before him but who else apart from the Marauders knew about this exit?

The answer came easily and James almost laughed at his own paranoia. The answer was of course _Sirius_. He must have chosen this tunnel for the same reasons that he had. Despite this he trusted his better judgment and entered slowly. It was unlike Sirius to be so careless and leave a secret passage uncovered like that and the air…the air that came through carried the freshness of snow but also something more…tangy…coppery even. He took a deeper breath but was still unable to discern the smell-

_Wham-_

James almost jumped out of his skin as multiple bolts of bars suddenly shot down from the ceiling and slammed into the ground surrounding him. _A trap! _ He whipped around wand at hand but the surprise had cost him precious seconds and he was too slow.

"_Expelliarmus_!"

His wand flew out of his hand and clattered against the wall before falling to the floor, rolling out of reach. "SNAPE!" James burst out.

Severus emerged from where he had hidden in the shadows with a lamp in his hand. It cast a ghostly glow on his pale face and lit up James' predicament well.

"What the hell is this?" James demanded, touching the 'bars' of the apparent cage that held him prisoner. They were bars all right, solid and sturdy but it looked like it was made from…_water_? When he withdrew his hand it was wet!

"POTTER!" Snape seethed. "What are YOU doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question! And what is this shit? Let me out!" He slammed his palm onto a 'bar' but if anything it hurt his hand more than brought his freedom closer.

Snape cursed his luck. Potter had once again foiled a plan. He counted himself lucky that he was one to be well prepared so he had enough of the potion to make another Water Cage. The problem at hand was _Potter_; he couldn't let him be involved but neither could he let him out now. The loud-mouthed fool would have the school in an uproar in an instant.

_Too many interferences and problems with too little time…_

James hit the bars again bringing Severus back to the most unfortunate scenario that was laid out in front of him. "OI! GREASE HEAD! I SAID LET ME OUT!"

"Be mindful of your words Potter." Snape warned and for a split second he had ventured a step closer to James' liquid prison. It occurred to James that if he were to lunge out he might just be able to grab him by the neck-

Too late. Snape, who'd had his eyes firmly fixed on his must have somehow realized before James had even reacted. He snapped back and maneuvered himself way out of reach.

How had he known what he was about to do even before he decided to do it?

Suspicious James glowered at Snape some more. A smile lifted the corner of Snape's thin mouth. He was clearly baiting him.

"Still haven't figured it out yet Potter? And everyone thinks the wonder boy is oh so very clever."

James snapped his eyes from his and broke the eye contact instantly. He shook his head in disgust. One of the reasons why he'd always made at least a little effort in Defense Against Dark Arts lessons was because he hated the Dark Arts with a passion. Growing up with parents who dealt on the forefront of wizards and witches gone-bad had instilled the hate. Nearly every spell, potion and charm was innocent in itself (excluding the obvious Unforgivable Curses plus certain artifacts), however every single one of them could be misused thus easily turned into a Dark Art.

Snape had just obviously mistreated such a skill. _Legilimency_.

To be sure many of the greatest wizards in the world probably practiced Legilimency. He'd be very surprised if Dumbledore himself wasn't apt at the art but the fact that Snape was using it so abusively made it a Dark Art to James that instant and he hated him for it.

"Don't you dare try to pull something like that ever again!" He threatened.

"What are you going to do about it?" he swept his eyes over the watery prison for emphasis. "You _are _imprisoned and wandless."

_Smug bastard._ James clapped his hands together just once and then twice, applauding him with mockery. "Well done, fantastically observed. Would you like some House points for that?"

For all of James' bravado he understood that Snape did have a point. What _could_ he do?

He had never wanted to physically hurt anyone as much as he did now. He would give up all his chocolate frog cards and maybe even his beloved broom for just one solid punch on Snape's face.

James closed his eyes and silently counted to ten and then to twenty before cracking open and eye. To his dismay Snape's pallid face was still there.

"What's wrong Potter? Praying?"

"Nah, I was hoping that if I couldn't see you, you might go away. Too damn wishful and optimistic." James sighed feeling that he would do himself no favors to lose control. "Look, _Snivellus_. As much as I would like to stay and play, I really must go, I have a date. Yes, a _date_. With a girl. Lily. The girl you will never get to date." He let his sentences come out short like punches, each punch was below the belt by any standard but James wasn't feeling too sensitive. It was all a lie anyway and since he couldn't punch him because of the sheer fact that he couldn't reach him, he might as well have a good dig around where it hurts.

Snape's jaw stiffened and he looked like he really had been punched bellow the belt. James took this as a good sign and couldn't help but feel pleased that he'd managed a decent dig. "She's out there waiting for me right this second, she's going to be almighty pissed if I turn up late. I'll even tell her it you and your stupid water cage's fault and then we'll see who gets it-" James paused observing Snape's weird reaction. He'd been expecting anger; an offensive reply in the least but far from it Snape seemed…alarmed.

"Lily is supposed to meet you out on the grounds? Where? When?" Snape demanded. If possible his usually pale face grew paler. His unexpected reaction surprised James and he didn't reply immediately. "I asked you where? Or have you grown so insufferably stupid to not understand the simple question?" His snapped his voice gaining volume with each word.

"I don't answer to snakes." James said stubbornly.

Snape's hands clenched into bony fists. "Potter, I'm telling you now that if she is out there she could be in some serious trouble, now tell me, is she out there now or not!"

Now it was James' voice that rose in volume. "Trouble? What do you mean trouble? You had better not be trying to hurt Lily or I'll have you skinned-"

"Listen Potter, tell me is she out there?"

But James wasn't listening, he was too angry to be listening. "_Snivellus_, I swear, if she so much as loses one hair I'm going to-"

"You wolf friend will be transforming tonight!" Snape shouted over James' rising anger.

James sat back on his heels, stunned. "Don't be absurd, full moon isn't for a few weeks."

"The moon is not the only thing that can trigger a transformation." Snape growled. He gritted his teeth. He'd already wasted a lot of time. The poison used on Lupin weakened him; accelerated his transformation so that they could retrieve his blood in its purest werewolf form. The potion was complete even with the blood taken from him in his human form but a few more drops of the pure blood made the properties of _Insania Insoltus_ unimaginable.

_The 'wolf was supposed to fall into the trap_ _not this idiot! _

This wasn't the only available exit although it was the easiest route to take. They had made sure the werewolf would be attracted to this site first so they could capture and prison him safely until they had what they wanted... But what if the werewolf had found another way out? The students were safe in their dorms and common room thanks to unseen charms and spell protection but Lily wasn't, she was outside!

James fell silent and stone still, only a muscle twitched on his clenched jaw. "What have you done to Moony?" he demanded, his voice dangerously low. "If you dare exploit his condition _or hurt_ Lily I will make sure that it will be the last thing you _ever do_." He meant it, he really did. Anger coursed his veins.

"Where is she?" Snape asked relentlessly. "Where!"

"Let me out!"

Snape stared at him furiously before he wordlessly spun and ran out via the tunnel. He cared not for the thing that lay in the shadows of the tunnel and jumped over it before hitting the ground at full speed hoping to get to Lily first.

James threw himself at his liquid prison but it was as if he'd thrown himself at steel bars. He stumbled back his shoulder throbbing. "LET ME OUT!" He threw himself at the bars again. "SNAPE!" But he was long gone. He knew that Snape was a competent wizard but Lily…the thought of her being in danger killed him.

His desperation grew and he threw his shoulder into the bars again. A few more tries left him winded and absolutely fumingly furious.

"Think James THINK!" He clawed at his hair.

_Wand I need my wand-_

Any train of thought fell short of an emergency crash when he realised that he was no longer alone…

A creature slinked into the room. Heavy claws clicked on the stone as it stalked slowly and purposefully into the room. It didn't even pause as fresh blood drove it further in…and the smell of living, moving flesh brought its senses to a painful frenzy. It turned its head and looked at James with predatory yellow eyes.

James stared back. "_Moony_."

The werewolf sniffed the air, coming close enough to the bars for James to smell the damp fur-

Without warning the 'wolf lunged into the bars, its heavy body hit it with a force hard enough to create a resounding _clang_. James jumped back as it bounced off and shook its head, a guttural growl escaping from the throat.

Flesh…meat…it needed to _feed_…

James positioned himself away from all four sides of his prison in case Moony tried to take a swipe at him from between the bars. Changing to his Animagus form would do him no good while locked up.

The werewolf seemed to have something else on mind…or could sense something that was more attractive than James for it did not test the water prison again but moved away.

James watched helplessly as Moony disappeared into the open tunnel but the clicking of claws did not get far. He could hear slurping and the crunching of bone along with snapping jowls. His stomach lurched. Moony was eating something in the passage. The smell that he hadn't been able to recognise was clear to him now. It was the smell of blood.

Fresh blood from a fresh body.

Placed strategically in the passage to lure the werewolf there and maybe to something beyond…

James wanted to kill Snape. Puzzles pieces began to drop into place among his jumbled thoughts. Snape had planned for Moony to have a premature transformation; somehow he had influenced the change! James didn't know why but being stuck in a cage made out of water, it seemed obvious that Snape had planned to trap Moony _in this_ cage. Except it all went wrong when he turned up and now he was locked up and Moony was about to escape into the open. Lily and his best friend were in danger!

"_Accio_ _WAND_!" James roared. His wand twitched on the floor but his sheer need and determination won over and it soared to meet his open hand.

"_Reducto!_" The explosions that from the end of his wand was spectacular but to his dismay the water cage seemed to swallow the spell without once breaking. "_Reducto! Reducto! REDUCTO!_" Whether he like it or not the cage was not moving as spell after spell dissolved into the watery bars. "AAAGH! WHY IS THIS NOT WORKING!" He screamed, his breaths coming out in short gasps and bent over fighting for control.

He frantically tried to recall every potion lesson that he had ever had but nothing remotely close to anything he'd ever learnt resembled this contraption…

_Water…Lily…water…Sirius…water…Moony… it had to have weakness!_

The answer presented itself as suddenly as the cage. _Fire_.

"_Flagrate_!" Fire swirled out from his wand like golden fiery rope. He used the simple spell to draw circles around him, spinning as he did. He surrounded himself within the rings and spun so quickly that he felt like a cyclone made from fire. With an extra burst of strength he pushed the rings outwards. The bars hissed and steamed where the wild rings of fire touched it and finally torched it. The whole room was aglow and steam hissed until at last the cage collapsed in on itself .

Drenched James released the spell and ran to the tunnel, almost slipping on the floor as he did. The tunnel was empty… except for something that lay on the floor. A Body. He couldn't even tell what it was anymore since there was nothing left but some fur and a collection of large bones dripping with blood.

"_LILY_!"

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**A/N**: Whoo Hoo! I can't believe this is chapter 60 already! I never thought that I would get this far. I hope you all enjoyed! xxx


	61. The Dead Cannot Rise

**A/N: **Again sorry for such a late chapter! I think a writer's block has hit me. I mean I know what's gonna happen and how it happens but just don't know how to write it down! Some later chapters are nicely written up though!

So I've been tapping idly for a while and have started a LOTR and picked up on a Kingdom of Heaven fanfic. Both will go up at some point or another. I am NOT DROPPING this fanfic because I love it (and u guys) too much! xxx

ANYWAY! The beginning of this chapter takes place simultaneously with chapter 60 with maybe a few overlaps in time as the perspective changes throughout. I LOVE you all for your reviews!

---

THE DEAD CANNOT RISE

Lestrange sat hunched over, hidden in a man-sized hole that he had dug in the snow. Wrapped in his icy shelter, cold comfort wrapped Her chilled fingers over his skin. He imagined Her icicle sharp nails dipping into his warm blood, slowly bringing the temperature of his body down. He enjoyed it. Rejoiced in it. Even celebrated it.

Black and the Mudblood's appearance had caught him by surprise. He watched as they stood staring gormlessly at the carcass that he had been forced to drop.

_Pity…_

His masterpiece of fresh Centaur flesh and blood would no doubt have led the filthy werewolf beast straight into the trap and now it was wasted on the snow. Still there was something…oddly _satisfying_ at seeing something pure be spoilt in such a way. It was _irreversible_; the snow would never be called a perfect white ever again, nor can it soften the harsh greys of winter any more. He could only liken this to the effect of the Dark Lord over the people; the Greatest Wizard of all time whose influence spread and stained leaving nothing but death, blood and fear in his wake!

A boastful pride filled the cavity in his chest. The Lord was a perfectionist and he had chosen _him_ to join his league. It was in his search to create a perfect world that Muggles should be punished and taught their rightful place in the hierarchy. In his eyes they were no better than the house elves! Slaves, all of them!

He covered a devilish grin with a hand. Even now with a vital part of his plan in ruins the Slytherin was far from disappointed. He had Black right there! Ready to be punished along with a Mudblood! What more could he ask for? A large vial of the wicked potion lay in his hands, even without the blood of a fully transformed werewolf Snape had assured him of its potency. What perfect timing for him! He unclenched his gloved hand exposing the vial and he lovingly pressed his lips to it.

"My dearest Bella, I bet you wished that you were here to see this!" He wound his arm back ready to throw it at Black's feet but something held him back. The opportune moment had yet to come…_let them feel_ fear…

---

Blood continued to drip and leak out of the corpse…a recent killing…within the hour…maybe minutes…or even seconds…the fine hairs on Sirius' neck rose…

_Shit!_

Sirius was by Lily's side in an instant. "We need to get out of here!" He grabbed her hand and began pulling her back up the hill even as alarms went off for all his senses-

They nearly had to climb on all fours to get back up. Sirius dragged Lily forcefully. The kill was _fresh_; the killer would not be far.

_Not far at all_.

His gut feeling _knew_ it with an unquestionable certainty and Sirius believed in that gut feeling. Even now he knew that they were being _watched_.

Sirius was not one who believed in running but neither was he one for foolish heroics. He did however, believe in being prepared and prepared they were not; he knew nothing of the killer or indeed killers if there were more than one, they could be out numbered and outmatched, silently wiped off the Marauders' Map before he knew what hit them.

There was only one thing for certain that he did know; the killer was powerful or at least powerful enough to kill a Centaur. This did little to narrow a list of suspects for him. Voldemort could do it without so much as a thought; Death Eaters could do it given the determination and the right timing… Heck, even he could do it if he was well equipped, especially if he had been equipped with the curse that had ended the Centaur's life.

After a handful of seconds to gather his wits he was able to recognise what had killed the Centaur even if Lily didn't. He was a member of the Blacks after all and had seen his fair share of curses.

The question was _why_? Why would someone go out of their way to put their own lives at stake to kill a Centaur? What did he/she/they want to achieve? Sirius' first thought was that it was to mock Dumbledore. Voldemort wanted to show that he could kill right on his doorstep and leave the mess for the Headmaster to clean up. It was his way of saying 'Look at my power, next time the body will be one from within the school'. What a flag to wave under Dumbledore's nose, what a cruel threat to make…yet if this was Voldemort's intent why not brag openly about it?

Sirius would have, that is, if he were a sadistic, demoralised, hell-bent, bad wizard. Sometimes he wondered if Voldemort had a soul that was still intact, something had to be missing for who could take pleasure in gaining something at the cost of bloodshed?

Death Eaters.

Sirius was almost certain that Voldemort would not dapple even his corrupted hands in Centaur blood. This was the dirty work of a twisted lackey; one that wanted to appease his Master but could reach no further than the creatures of the Forbidden Forest. A rogue cannon maybe, unpredictable…_dangerous._

He cast one last look at the corpse drowned in blood, left behind among the churned snow where they had floundered and panicked to climb up.

Death, by the _entrail expelling curse_.

Only when they were on the second hill and he could no longer see the corpse could he look away. He shuddered from a mixture of the cold and sickness that the heinous murder induced-

Movement in the air caught his eye. Had Quidditch not conditioned Sirius over years he may have missed the insignificant object that arched from apparently nowhere and shot straight for their heads.

He reacted instantaneously not overlooking it's potential as a threat. "_Reducto_!" The object exploded in mid flight before it could reach them. Powdery glass showered over them and misted snow caught in the spell fell like a blanket of fog. Both Sirius and Lily coughed but the fog dissipated within seconds. Lily took a deep breath to clear her lungs-

A pained cry from something Lily couldn't name, echoed in the courtyard causing them to freeze. Ghostly hands ran up her spine raising every last hair on her neck.

"What was _that_?" she whispered reaching for Sirius as it bayed again and developed into a ghoulish, low octave wail that easily raised goosebumps. A wounded beast?

"I don't know…"Sirius had an awful feeling that the sound came from behind them. He could hear it move and slump on the snow, the crunch much too close for comfort. Logic wrestled with the picture his senses had hastily pasted together. _This cannot be happening…_ "…The dead cannot rise!" he finished aloud.

Through the soft moaning of the wind Lily could now hear it too. "It can't be moving…" She gasped quickly grasping onto Sirius' fear of the dead rising.

For the briefest of seconds neither Sirius nor Lily moved as their limbs were petrified into place. Neither wanted to look around in case of what they might see. Time slowed to a crawl as they listened.

_Mmmmrar…thump…mmmmmmaaaw…thump…aghhhh…thump…_

Their hearts pounded as the sounds slowly gained in volume. At once, as if time picked up again they spun-

Lily screamed and Sirius yelled and both tried to run backwards at the same time. Before them, emerging from the top of the hill they had just run down from rose a bloody horror.

The Centaur moaned and dragged itself onto its feet. Hooves dug into snow and muscular arms flexed slowly. A bulbous stomach slipped and flopped out of the exposed internal cavity and swung like a bloody pendulum. For a second the Centaur looked down at its own organ dangling from his body and he moaned.

A pitiful moan.

He reached down and picked up its still attached stomach with one hand and a handful of intestines that dragged onto the reddened snow with the other.

He pointed at them with an accusing finger on the hand that carried his stomach_. "I curse you and your kind!" _His deep voice cracked and blood bubbled from his mouth. _"Blood for blood! I will do to you as you have done to me!_!" He reared onto his hind legs and gave a cry of rage.

"Run Lily!" Sirius shouted. "He thinks we killed him!" A genial Centaur was already something to be reckoned with, a raging Centaur was something to be _feared._ Sirius knew he could stop it but not with any conventional spells but with curses that aimed to hurt and _kill_…but how do you kill something that is already _dead?_

_Must be having illusions! Had too much of a big dinner, semi-rare steak, too many chips, onion rings, enough fat and cholesterol to kill a Hippogriff- something must have disagreed with my body!_

Lily snuffed out any lasting thoughts of drastic food poisoning messing up with his mind.

"The dead cannot rise!" She echoed. Apparently he wasn't alone in seeing the dead rise. In this kind of situation, knowing that you were not losing your marbles was neither a relief nor something to be happy about. Especially when faced with a hostile opponent that was very capable of tearing you apart limb from limb. Actually, Sirius changed his mind; 'hostile' didn't even begin to cover it. This Centaur guy was _royally pissed off_!

"Come on!" He urged her to keep moving will forcing his own legs to move. _And rightfully so! _His own stomach twisted at the sight of the pulsating entrails in the Centaur's thick-fingered grip

Together they backed away but the Centaur, now finished with his raging call was preparing to charge. Unbalanced on the mushy, bloody snow he scuffed his front hoof but slipped. Snow. It was the one saving grace to slow the Centaur but unfortunately it also slowed them far greater.

_Too slow!_

The Centaur was gathering speed despite the thick snow and was gaining on them much faster than they could escape.

Lily pushed Sirius away. "We have to split!" She yelled and began to veer to the left while he veered to the right. Less than three heartbeats later the muscular Centaur thundered past the spot where that had parted seconds before. He screeched to a stop and turned around with a roar. "_You will pay for this humans!"_

He charged again this time at Sirius. With his head over his shoulder Sirius ran but his feet was sinking too deep into the snow and it took too much effort to pull each step out to give him speed. Hooves pounded too close and he instinctively dived out of the way just as a thick hand grabbed at the air where his head was.

With impossible balance the Centaur pivoted this time throwing out his acid filled stomach like a spiked mace.

"Fucking Hell!" Sirius dodged out of the way on his knees, thoroughly grossed out that he'd almost been smashed in the face by a pulsing stomach. Droplets of Centaur digestive juices flecked his face and he wanted to retch.

He rolled in the snow and scrabbled to his feet, with his shirt now soaked he was quickly growing numb in the cold. He and Lily couldn't keep running in this manner because the Centaur clearly had the upper hand with speed.

With a flash of brilliance he pointed his wand to his forehead and moments later he let out a deep growl and barked. As a dog he was more suited to run on the snow with his pads and was lighter. All he had to do was distract the Centaur and lead him away, giving Lily a chance to get help. He barked again but in the few seconds it took him to transform he had lost track of the Centaur. Or to put it in succinct Sirius terms: _the asshole was gone_!

He barked loudly letting it know that he was still there but Sirius couldn't see anyone apart from Lily ploughing her way through the snow. She kept looking back, her expression fearful and she screamed and ducked as if something had just soared over her head-

---

The Centaur appeared to have given up on chasing Sirius and was now intent on catching Lily for he spun and rhino charged at her. With a squeal she threw herself onto the snow as he misjudged the distance and ended up jumping over her. Without thinking she turned and fired a spell, hoping to slow down its chase. "_Impedimentia_" From her low vantage point the spell hit it squarely on the underside of his open belly.

The Centaur seemed to shake off the spell like water from a wet coat. Lily ran, pumping her arms as best as she could. Ahead she could see Sirius in his dog form.

"Run and get help!" she yelled at him. Sirius the dog cocked his head to the side clearly questioning her but Lily didn't have time to scream at him again and turned sharply away. Behind her the Centaur raged on.

---

Sirius jumped forward wondering why Lily was running in circles, changing directions suddenly and then randomly following some other shape…_like a headless chicken_…he thought randomly. The Centaur was nowhere to be seen and he was confused. It wasn't exactly easy for a Centaur to hide…and why on earth was Lily still running when it was nowhere to be seen?

He changed back into his human form-

"Sirius!" Lily screamed at an amazingly high pitch.

His instincts saved his head once more as he dropped to the ground. A great displacement of air took place above him as the Centaur missed him by a fraction.

"Fuck!"

_Where the hell did he spring from!_

It was impossible for a Centaur of that size to pull a 'now you see me, now you don't' act. Maybe a blood vessel in his brain had given way under pressure and burst like an old pipe? Or a sudden cancerous growth had attacked his healthy grey mass and exerted a disabling pressure onto his functioning cells? He had to be hallucinating or maybe so traumatised that his mind had shut out any visual trace of the attacking dead Centaur that chased them like an axe murderer! At least that was all the credible explanations that he could muster and that was while running for his life!

He yelled and began to run, unconsciously copying Lily's headless chicken pattern. Perfect understanding of the headless chicken run developed and he appreciated that she was running that way because it made her movement unpredictable therefore harder to catch.

Sirius swore again as he meandered this way and that, not caring whether he was truly being chased. He was more concerned over how the Centaur had disappeared while he was preparing to lure it away.

---

Lily leaned over her knees gasping for breath. She was quickly wearing out. In all her panic she hadn't realised that she was no longer being followed and had run so far away that she could no longer see Sirius.

She needed to get help but she was determined not to leave Sirius alone. How long could he last? She vaguely heard him shout out a spell. "_Incarcerous_!"

"Lily!"

She jumped and spun recognising the voice immediately; she squinted at the figure that suddenly stood in front of her. "James?"

---

**A/N:** Buwahahah! Nothing is ever as it seems! Next chapter is _INSANIA INSOLTUS._ Keep reading! xxx


	62. Insania Insoltus

**A/N:** Apologies for lack of update for ages! Workload caught up with a vengeance but here I am, back to write! Love you guys for liking this story and loving you more for reviewing!

**Quick Summary:** Lily and Sirius are poisoned with the _Insania Insoltus_ potion. Lestrange is watching with glee, as they battle against a dead Centaur that is nothing more than a figment of their imagination. However there is actually a dead Centaur lying in Hogwarts grounds that Lestrange had originally planned to use as bait for the werewolf to collect its blood. Unfortunately his plan has gone awry due to bad timing on everything and Snape ends up also out on the grounds hunting a released werewolf.

Lily gets separated from Sirius but he is a little too preoccupied with his hallucination to realize that the Lily he can see isn't real. Lily also has inner demons of her own although they are of a different sort from Sirius…

INSANIA INSOLTUS

Snape threw off Lestrange's arm. Curse his luck that the first person he should find to be none other than Lestrange!

"Get down!" Lestrange hissed and pulled him to the ground. He pointed over a raised drift to Black who stood alone on a stage made of ruined snow. "He's under the influence of _Insania Insoltus_." He whispered unnecessarily. "The things that he sees may not be real, but if he believes that they are real then to him, _they are_. This is Black's fight to the death; a grand fight it should have been! It is a shame that the enemy is none other than himself!" he cackled wickedly.

Lestrange's superficial understanding of the potion irritated Snape and he had absolutely no intention to interfere further, nor did he care if Black killed himself with his own mind demons.

"A remarkable fight he's putting up! Such a waste of a Pureblood."

_The most fantastic flight of fantasy known to any witch or wizard_. Snape had scribbled these very words on the margin of his textbook on whim, not knowing that he would see this hallucinogenic potion in action so soon.

Curiosity killed the kneazle.

Snape wanted to claim that seeing this amazing live demonstration of his own potion didn't affect him, that he didn't even want to watch but something like morbid curiosity over the application of his own skill held him to the spot; fascinated as Sirius danced dangerously towards his insanity.

---

Sirius had resorted to throwing spell after spell at the 'Centaur'. "_Incarcerous_!" Thick ropes appeared and dove at the centaur wrapping it tightly in coils. Enraged it tore scarily through the fibres with ease and retaliated with another awful weapon of its own.

Caught off guard Sirius suddenly found his neck encircled by a length of gut that continued to pulse and writhe like a giant worm. The Centaur reeled him in like a fish on a hook, twisting and squeezing its intestines together with massive hands; strangling the wizard as he did.

All at once Sirius was struggling for air, all his focus lay with escaping leaving but an ounce of consciousness to contend with everything else. He was only vaguely aware of the Centaur's flopping stomach as he clawed and hacked in vain; the massive beast began to back away easily. Outmatched by strength Sirius was pulled off his feet and dragged across snow; ploughing what felt like the last mile to his execution.

Deprived of air he did the only thing he could think of to escape from the fleshy Hangman's loop, he tore into the stringy slimed intestine with his fingers. With a ferocity brought on by fear of asphyxiation and repulsion he ripped at it until it was in two and he crawled away.

The Centaur also fell back now positively howling as more of its intestinal tract spilled out from the opened cavity in its torso. On top of that, the partially digested remnants of its last meal also leaked from the torn ends.

Gagging and gasping Sirius retched, before he could stop himself the contents of his own stomach surged upwards and poured out of his mouth onto the snow. His throat burned and he wheezed but none of this prevented the Centaur for making a beeline for him.

At the same time James had arrived in time to see Sirius throw up. "Padfoot!" he called out seeing his friend lift his wand.

Still coughing Sirius shouted another spell at the top of his voice. "_Diffindo_!"

Before James could barely register it, the rogue spell swung at him with incredible speed and he jolted aside just in time.

Unfortunately, Lady Luck appeared to have abandoned him that night and the spell grazed down the length of his arm as he spun and landed in a heap of snow.

"Shit!" His whole arm felt like it was on fire and blood _smoked_ red from a nasty burn. Instinctively he plunged his injured limb deep into the snow but resurfaced it almost immediately with a cry. Regardless of the freezing cold, sweat beaded his hairline as he hissed through his teeth in pain.

Perhaps it had been a mistake, unless his eyes were playing tricks on him there were now bits of crispy-James-skin left on the snow. Wisps of red continued to drift from the scorched skin and it was truly nauseating. Had the spell hit at the wrong angle he wouldn't be looking at a blood-smoking arm but a stump flesh! He gulped; maybe Lady Luck had been on his side after all! Sirius was not only using the Severing Charm but he was using it with intent to kill!

"Padfoot!" He yelled and got unsteadily to his knees not quite registering that the close shave combined with his wet clothes edged him into shock. If he succumbed then pneumonia was just a knock away especially at these mind-numbing temperatures.

Sirius continued to prance about erratically seemingly oblivious to the cold and far too distracted to hear him. He fired spell after spell without particular aim or direction. Twice it swung towards James and he once more had to swan dive into the snow to save his neck and all his limbs.

Sirius' fractured shouts and crazy behaviour made no sense to James. Pushed flat into the snow he squinted into the darkness; his heart hammering away while he struggled to see the threat but all there was was emptiness.

"PADFOOT!" He tried again climbing cautiously to his feet. His teeth chattered almost uncontrollably.

"Lily! NO!" His best friend dove desperately forwards but darted back and rolled away as some unseen heavy object was thrown at him. "LILY!"

James was running. Running to his best friend, his mind suddenly blind with panic. In all his years with Sirius he had never ever seen or heard him as distressed as he was now.

Lily_ Lily Lily Lily!_

Sirius let out an estranged cry that sounded almost inhuman. "LILY!"

James' mind wouldn't work, nothing that he saw made any sense and all he could do was shout. "PADFOOT!" He was near hysterical with panic while Sirius screamed Lily's name.

"RUN! RUN!" Sirius lunged forwards in a slippery sprint but James was faster and overtook him. He ran but where was he supposed to be running to? There was nothing, NOTHING around them at all. Desperate he doubled back and turned on Sirius.

"SIRIUS! TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!"

Sirius yelled and fought, thrashing in James' iron grip and the two wrestled to the ground. James fought out of sheer confusion and Sirius struggled out of panic. "STOP IT!" James shouted over his violent protests and knocked him hard in the jaw. Sirius lay stunned his dark eyes narrowing ferrally before they finally saw James.

"Prongs! It's Lily! She's-" James felt fear rise up his throat like hot bile. He didn't dare ask 'she what?'

Sirius turned his head aside. From where he was he could see her prone body. She was laying face down…her back gored to pieces… "She's dead."

Silence.

James' mind went blank. He looked over to the empty spot that Sirius was fixated on. "Dead?" His cracked voice was almost lost in the heavy snowfall. "She can't be-"

Sirius was strung too far and he snapped. "She's DEAD, James. DEAD!"

"No..."

"Centaur, fucking centaur!" Sirius shouted in a spitting rage. "Fucking Centaur killed Lily." He shoved James out of the way. This was between him and the Monster.

As with many powerful wizards, anger fuelled dark power and Sirius was a powerful wizard propelled beyond berserk by the _Draught of Delirium. _With absolutely no mercy he gripped his wand.

"_Diffino! Diffindo! Diffindo_!" Each spell hit hard enough to sever despite the Centaur's thick hide that had the ability to be impervious to most magic.

_Thud_.

An arm dropped off sluicing more blood.

_Thud._

The other fell off joining its brother.

_Thud_.

The Centaur lurched forwards with both of its forelegs severed.

"_DIFFINDO_!" With a sickening sound his spell cut the air and hit the surprised Centaur on the neck. The beast froze, his expression horrified before the head was swiftly severed from the body and dropped onto the snow where it rolled. A fountain of blood burst from the stump of a neck defiling the destroyed snow further, reaching as far Sirius and James.

Sirius wiped a hand across his face; it smeared giving him a mask of blood. "Ha!" He shouted feverishly over his triumph. "YOU'RE DEAD!" But all at once another threat rose. James staggered to his feet; his movement caused Sirius to jerk back to face him with his wand high.

"Dead!" He yelled.

"Lily is NOT DEAD!" James roared back. His chest heaved up and down with difficulty. It was getting increasingly hard to get air into his frozen lungs. However, James no longer felt the cold, it seemed that he could no longer feel anything.

"Dead dead dead DEAD!"

"She isn't!"

"All dead!" Sirius was laughing dangerously by now, sounding more like a helium high Peter than himself. In fact, the cool, suave, controlled Sirius no longer existed. "_Reducto!_"

James side-stepped and the spell whizzed by his stomach. Not meaning to he retaliated automatically. "_Relashio_!" A jet of fiery sparks exploded from his wand causing Sirius to duck.

"Wait!" He called out immediately.

But it was too late. His counter attack had confirmed him as an enemy to Sirius. James could see it in his eyes. Madness. Sirius had gone crazy, beyond reasoning and beyond control. Left with no choice James readied his wand.

Amongst a ring of icy snow, lost in a cloud laced with magic and confusion, the two best friends began a duel.

---

"James?" Lily was so incredibly relieved. James was here, he would make this right, and he was safety. He might not be able to stop charging Centaurs, he couldn't save the world from darkness, he couldn't bring her parents back to life, he couldn't make Petunia forgive her, he couldn't even file his own papers properly but with him she felt _safe_.

In that instant she knew that if she was with him, the world could crumple and she wouldn't even feel it drop away piece by piece. It was strange how something as small as happiness could blindside everything; it could be brief yet it was always infinite. James was her happiness. It was a shame that she did not realize this until now when oblivion waited for her so eagerly.

She went straight to him. "James! Sirius is- I don't know where he's gone but- He was fighting with a- It's dead but it's not!" Her words were jumbled, mostly senseless as well as meaningless to any bystander but the reaction she received caught her completely off guard.

"Get away from me!" Her hands were shoved aside. Lily blinked, not quite sure whether the reanimated centaur surprised her more or James. "Don't you ever put your hands on me ever again!" James snapped. He towered over her, eyes glowering and dangerous.

Forget confused because Lily was still caught up with being stunned. Subconsciously she told herself that she must have misheard him but doubt rose up like a heavily spiked wall. A bitter sting jabbed at her. "James-"

If Lily could pinpoint a crucial moment in her life this would have been it. In that instant Lily began to hate herself. All she could see was how selfish and self centred she had become. For a while now she had slowly but surely become reliant on others to be nice to her because she had lost her parents. It became a given that they should pity her and offer all the support in order to help her move on. That was it, she had become addicted to their pity. She depended on them and most of all she depended on James to make things right. It wasn't even fair; how could she expect James to not give up on her when she had long given up on herself?

"Don't even use my name! You have no right, filthy little Mudblood!"

Lily's mouth dropped. _Mudblood_. The one thing James Potter would never call her. This was where she should have realized that something was wrong. This was supposed to be James. James! Sweet, sweet James!

Had Severus Snape slipped on his skill this was the one and only tiny crack that she could have used to escape from the malicious grips of the powerful potion. Too bad that Severus Snape was not a mediocre potions master and he _never _slipped on his skill. Lily had no chance of escaping.

The potion was warming up in her veins. Burrowing into her senses and deep into the darkest recesses of her mind, prying out more of her innermost fears and memories; forcing her to confront it all until it tore her sanity to shreds. It came to life like a dormant parasite unfurling in a definitive host. In a girl full of hurt, self-hate, scars and uncertainty it began to feed.

"You're a filthy _witch_!"

"Wh- what?" Lily moved back, suddenly and inexplicably wary of the wizard that stood in front of her. Never in her life had she been scared of James but now, fear and dread rose and quickly sank to the pit of her stomach as some sort of innate preservation system kicked in.

James. _This James…_was going to _hurt_ her.

"Get away from me!" She hissed more out of fear than anger. She was like a cornered cat; hackles raised and claw sharpened paws, hissing in futile to ward off an impending threat.

Sensing that it could no longer attack her in the guise of James this person, this _thing_ standing not too far from her morphed; it folded and changed taking her cold surroundings and her sanity along with it.

The world tipped and Lily slipped.

She squeezed her eyes close but very quickly opened them again. One sharp breath sucked _warm_ air into her frozen lungs.

In one bizarre heartbeat she stumbled into her home. Of all the most mundane yet significant places of her life Lily was standing in her living room back in Surrey. Screams erupted from above. Without thinking her legs pounded up the stairs and she exploded into the master bedroom.

"Mum! Dad!"

_They were alive!_

For one single moment Lily's heart filled with hope but the fleeting seconds was banished by a suffocating wave of horror in an instant.

In front of her Diane and Harry Evans were screaming in agony. Both lay on the floor, their faces contorted in terror and pain. A circle of heavily dressed Death Eaters took casual turns to inflict the most heinous of curses. Lily screamed and tried to jump to their aid but her feet were rooted to the spot and no matter how she tugged she couldn't move a step.

"MUUUUUMMMMYYYY!" She screamed over and over. "DAAAAAAADDDDDY!"

She struggled to pull a leg up with both her hands; her joints protesting until it felt like ligaments were tearing. Forced to watch the torture, Lily whimpered; the screams of her parents ripped into her heart and destroyed her soul. It went on for what seemed like hours. Her parents cowering together as cloaked figures with wands closed in.

"_Crucio Crucio Crucio." _The curses were relentless and the screams continued until all of a sudden…silence…

Lily stared wide-eyed until her vision greyed and watered but the expressions on their faces will forever be seared into her vision. In death their faces were deformed beyond recognition but their eyes…_their eyes_! They stared up at her. _Accusing_ her even in their death. It was all because of her.

"_And that is how you brought about the end of their pathetic lives._"

That voice, she had only ever heard it once in her life. When he was invading her mind for information in her capture. It was a terrible voice that haunted her. Now it spoke to her in low whispers, almost sympathetic in a sick twisted way.

"_Did you really think you would get away without knowing? Not knowing how they spent their last moments? Not knowing how much they hated you? Hated themselves for bringing your life to this world to end their own? Such perfect lives they had before you existed, before a witch ended their happiness._"

"No." She whimpered and collapsed to the snow sobbing uncontrollably. Somewhere in between a cry and a wail she was now back in the freezing cold of the courtyard.

Emotions coursed through her body like a tidal wave and Lily hurt in a way that was unimaginable. She would never forgive herself. _Never_.

"_I can release you from your pain if you so should wish... Return your flesh to your Mother and you bones to your Father._"

More than willing to accept the blame she held out her arms ready to receive the punishment. She would do anything to correct what she was. On her knees she cried. She cried for her Dad, Mum and her sister. She cried for many people but she could not cry for herself.

All along she had not questioned their deaths. To make herself feel better she assumed that they died a quick painless death that caught them by surprise. But reality was always harsh. There was no quick flash of green of the Killing curse; instead the sparks were _red_.

_Cruciatus_.

Lily screamed as the scream of her parents reached her from beyond the veil of death. A cut appeared on her forearm, her skin and flesh ripped apart silently in a wound that touched bone. This, she believed was her punishment. A second appeared and Lily screamed in anguish.

"STOP!" Pales hands seized her wrists. "Lily this is foolish!" Snape shouted into her face.

"I deserve this!" She shrieked and another bone deep cut appeared. Severus tried very hard not to recoil as he felt the flesh one her arm split and the white of bone gleamed at him.

One piercing scream had alerted him to her whereabouts and he was prepared to battle a werewolf, to his alarm he found Lily keeled over, face pressed into the snow with her arms stretched out. She looked like she was praying and was definitely screaming whilst the most horrendous cut appeared on their own accord upon her forearms.

It didn't take him long to figure that she too was poisoned by his potion.

"Lily, listen to me! None of this is real!"

She wailed louder before wrenching her arms out of his hands. "My parents are dead! Because of me! ME! It's all my fault!"

Snape looked down to find himself covered with blood. All of it was hers; she was losing too much blood. Her time was quickly running out. She shrieked as he forcibly pushed her to the ground. "Eat this!" he commanded and forced a Bezoar stone into her mouth.

Strictly speaking _Insania Insoltus_ was not a poison but it worked itself into the mind, like a poison would into the vascular system. It also bought Snape a little more time and he needed all the time he could get.

He didn't know how long Lily had been infected but the less time the bigger the chance she had of regaining her sanity. Not to mention that soon she would bleed out.

"LET GO OF ME!" Lily howled. In the haze of bloodied red she could see Snape but deranged emotions ruled her senses now…

---

**A/N:** Phew, that chapter was heavy duty even though it wasn't especially long. Please drop me a review, even if only to give me a bollocking about how long it took me to update! Or you could just let me know how you found the latest chapter! I promise that I will not leave such a huge gap between updates again! Next chapter is _MORS MORDRE_! Enjoy xxx


	63. A Cauldron Of Brewing Trouble

**A/N:**

The last chappie did end up a lot more gory than what I had in mind but I couldn't imagine Sirius getting freaked by anything remotely mundane, so to make him really react I needed something that really grossed him out (along with me and everyone else!) :)

At first I was slightly in two minds over it but in the end I decided that it was a keeper. I wanted to see Sirius lose his cool and I mean _really_ losing it and what better way than to make him go mad? With Lily I wanted to show how guilt over a death would never go away no matter how much a person tries to move on. Even though she doesn't know how her parents died, in her mind she has already made up her own version, which will ultimately be the worst.

Anyways, this chapter was getting insanely long so I chopped it into two!

Thank you all for reviewing. I love u! xxx

**REMINDER:**

James could see it in his eyes. Madness. Sirius had gone crazy, beyond reasoning and beyond control. Left with no choice James readied his wand.

Amongst a ring of icy snow, lost in a cloud laced with magic and confusion, the two best friends began a duel.

---

**A CAULDRON OF BREWING TROUBLE**

High up in Hogwarts, tucked in the warm dormitory room that the Marauders shared, the three Guardians were having a heated discussion.

"Animal instincts pah!" Nutmeg said haughtily. "What animal do you know of that instinctively makes farting noises as soon as a person talks?"

Chewy, despite hanging upside down, released a foot and pointed it at Tatty who ruffled her feathers indignantly appearing to be offended. "How else am I to explain these inexplicable urges to make such noises whenever that Sirius boy talks?"

Nutmeg licked a paw and smoothed it over her ears. "You can't- OUCH!" The cat sprung up and startled Chewy into taking flight. Tatty's eyes grew wide and she ruffled her feathers disapprovingly.

"That hurt!" The cat hissed prodding about on the bed with her claws extended.

"What happened?" Tatty queried with interest.

Nutmeg could sense Sirius distantly. A shadow of conducted pain crept under her furry paws, the cat spasmed again. "I think the Mongrel has gotten himself into trouble." She explained shaking her whiskers. The problem with being a Guardian, she decided, was when one must guard a group of wizard teenagers. Take your eyes off them for a few minutes and it's like they deliberately _try_ to get themselves killed. Nothing but a cauldron of brewing trouble! "Pfeh! What kind of wizard is he if he can't even look after himself?" She muttered and the three hurried off straight away.

"I think my one's also in trouble." Tatty said in her silent flight along the corridor. "I hope he doesn't die, he was awfully funny."

"They're _not_ supposed to die." Nutmeg reminded her forcefully. "At least not when we're around." It was an unwittingly ominous comment that even then, managed to hang heavily in the atmosphere like a bitter after taste.

"Mine's just fine." Chewy boasted. If only he knew…

---

"_I'll kill you_!" Sirius was seized by a gripping fervour that James Potter had to die. They all had to die! Every last one of them!

Who?

_All._

Why?

_Because_.

If there was a reason then that was it.

_Because._

That was all. No widely passionate explanation was needed, nor could it express his absolute conviction to kill. Determination sliced with a flinty edge decreed that whether through years of meticulous planning or this one duel, Sirius Black would see it through. James Potter must die. From behind a veil of madness he pointed his wand.

James was instantly blasted off his feet by a spectacularly powerful curse and in the split second he lay there completely winded another curse struck him and he was air borne once more. He landed heavily on ground that sloped at an angle and he used it to help him roll away just in time. The space he'd landed on erupted into a fountain of snow.

Sure James' wand _was_ readied but in the true essence of the word he was nowhere near ready. The duel was initiated but high reluctance and disbelief clouded his ability to respond in any way apart from defence. "What the hell are you doing!" James cried and dodged again. For the life of him he had no idea what had gotten into Sirius. "OI!" With each near miss he was rapidly becoming less concerned as to why his friend was behaving like a nutcase and more concerned with saving his own skin.

"_Diffndo_!" Sirius was good. Quick and relentless were his spells and with deadly accuracy. James was on the move constantly. He _needed_ to keep moving.

Underestimating or overestimating always played a major role in duelling and getting the right expectation was often half the battle won, however, when both opponents knew each other's skills inside and out there was no expectation to be had. It was like a very sharp double-edged sword and the only thing that determined the way it dropped was so solely based on skill.

_Duel now, ask questions later._

If James had to, he would knock him out and tie him to a chair for interrogation later because he sure as hell wasn't going to get any answers when he was busy trying to evade attacks.

"_Protego_!" James shouted and a severing spell ricocheted off him harmlessly. As far as shield charms went he knew that his was stronger than anything Sirius could possibly throw at him but he couldn't stand there forever in his shield. Trying to disarm Sirius would be nothing short of suicide and James had seen first hand how he would counter attack to the spell; not something he ever wanted to experience _ever_.

Full frontal assault was Sirius' forte, which was why he was currently being hammered down by blasting curses plus a variety out-of-class ones that Sirius was very good at casting. To get a battering in James had to out manoeuvre him first or at least catch him off guard.

He too had his own arsenal of strictly beyond N.E.W.T curses, but complicated spells were usually effective at the price of time and more power. They would be no good if Sirius could spot them a mile off. It was for this same reason that Sirius had yet to pull out the real dark curses, the ones that would get them packaged and owled straight to Azkaban. Not that it seemed like Sirius would care in his state, he was more concerned that he wouldn't have to be left vulnerable for precious seconds after releasing such a spell.

At least this was what James thought until he was on the receiving end of one the worse kind of curses.

"**_Crucio_**!" Sirius used an Unforgivable Curse!

Out of sheer luck James stumbled on some loose snow and the lethal spell missed him by about a foot. He wouldn't have believed it had it not come close enough to singe his hair. This wasn't just any mock dueling; Sirius was playing for keeps. Unless James took this seriously he was going to end up _dead._

Already, that bit of realization had hit him a bit late. James needed something quick, simple, something a madness-propelled Sirius would not expect…

"_Silencio_!"

Immediately Sirius' assault stopped and he clutched his throat in surprise, with his voice gone the damage of his spells was instantly halved.

Grabbing the opportunity James fired a high-powered Stunner. "_Stupefy_!" The bolt of red light soared like a powerful loose cannon of a firework and would have certainly rendered Sirius unconscious were he not able to create a non-verbal shield just in time. It was a weak shield that cracked upon contact, but it was a shield nonetheless and it saved him. He staggered back from the force of the hitting spell before being knocked down completely by another of James' spells.

James knew that he would not stay down, not so easily. Like himself, Sirius could withstand at least a couple dozen medium powered curses out of pure stubbornness alone; it was a theory that they had once tested and found it to be scarily true. Besides, James did not have time to let off another powerful spell or stun Sirius repeatedly and it wasn't like he would just stand there and let him do it either.

Remus was still at large and Lily was nowhere to be seen…there was the other possibility, that she was…she was… no! Just thinking of it was enough to coat his insides with a deep empty chill. All these thoughts and more occupied James' mind; buzzing like a demanding crowd. With a conscious effort he forced it all to a muffle.

Weariness was also threatening to take over. For a second he felt the cold that bit into his fingers and his wet clothes sucking heat off his body. His arm cradled uselessly at his side while his best friend was trying to kill him. It was enough to take any wizard down but James shunted the weariness right to the periphery of consciousness. He stomped out a fit of shakes and readied himself to deal with Sirius once more.

A stunner narrowly missed him even as Sirius sat up having managed to lift the Silencing charm while down. _Damn_. Trust Sirius to have one of the quickest recovery time ever-

-A scream suddenly pierced the magic-heavy air-

-effectively killing the spell that was about to form on his lips-

_Lily!_

"Lily!" James repeated aloud completely forgetting about mad Sirius and the duel, that is, until a particularly nasty hex sent him flying face first into the snow.

He pushed himself up, coughing out melted snow as he did. "Sod off, Sirius-"

There was the scream again and James swallowed hard; Lily was in trouble. "I don't have time for this Sirius! Lily needs me!" Without a single twinge of regret he seized a precise moment and blinded Sirius with a Conjunctivitis curse, following it up with a continuous barrage of hurling hexes. With a plentiful supply of hard icy snow he fixed the spell to keep it repeatedly hurling thus effectively occupying the blinded Sirius. His speed was blinding; not even Sirius with full vision could contend with the sudden quick succession of attacks.

Sirius yelled, one hand pressed to his eyes while compacted snowballs pelted him from left right and centre. James sprinted away, carried by an obsession to find Lily. In an instant Sirius was quite forgotten courtesy of a massive priority shift. "Lily!"

He was close enough to hear her shouting now and he pumped his legs and uninjured arm harder-

-He cleared a hill and looked down to a small valley-

Lily was flailing her arms at someone who fought her to the floor. Even from a distance he could recognise that back and greasy hair anywhere. "_SNAPE!_"-

"Drink this you foolish girl!" Snape snapped angrily. "It's the antidote!" Lily struggled harder but Snape kept her pressed into the ground while he poured a vile liquid into her throat. She choked and spluttered but he kept pouring it into her prised open mouth.

Snape was breathing heavily. It had been more than a struggle to drag her over to his dropped bag and when his fingers closed around the tiny vial of liquid inside it he was relieved. "The antidote!" As always he was well prepared. With people like Lestrange around who knew what could happen? He might turn his back and suddenly find his goblet spiked with his own potion. Severus Snape trusted no one.

The last drop disappeared and Lily went limp at once. Thanks to the Bezoar stone, the antidote would work double the speed, purging her mind of the poison faster than it had spread. Slowly her eyes rolled back into her head until all that could be seen was the whites. The antidote was working, he noted dully but she was still bleeding profusely.

Taxed, Snape released her and drew his wand-

"Get the _fuck_ off of her!" James seized a fist full of Snape's robes and heaved him off Lily, throwing him heavily to the ground. "Don't you _dare_ touch her!" James was more than enraged he was _murderously livid_. Seeing Lily attacked had snapped whatever shred of control he had left. He glowered menacingly at the Slytherin with fierce protectiveness.

"Potter!" Snape hissed. Without warning James grabbed him again ignoring the cry of his scorched arm.

"You greasy snake-" He was too furious to even finish-

Instead he smashed his fist into Snapes' face. With one more solid punch Snape dropped to the ground without uttering another word or raising his wand once. Droplets of blood leaked from his hooked nose but the amount was insignificant in comparison to the stains on Lily… All at once the anger vanished and he was at Lily's side pulling her cold body into his arms.

For an awful moment he thought that she might be dead until he saw the faint rise and fall of her shallow breathing; the relief that it brought was truly immense and it washed him in a wave of giddiness.

However, as relieved as he were that she was still breathing, her face petrified him. Her skin carried a deathly pallor and her lips were tinged with blue. Most hauntingly scary were her eyes…her large beautiful eyes stared sightlessly at him. "Lily!" He cradled her closer feeling like he had never been so scared in his life because all he could see was the white of her eyes. Not even the steady beat of her heart under his palm could reassure him.

"Oh Merlin! What did he _do_ to you?" He wailed, wanting to hurt Snape more than ever. There was blood _everywhere_. He shuffled across the snow with her body on his lap to his dropped wand and sealed up her atrocious wounds as best as he could, but he really wasn't any good at field dressings. "Don't worry baby, I'll get you to Pomfrey." He said in hushed whispers. He continued to speak to her; positive that she could hear him as he carried her across the Courtyard as quickly as he could. "You're gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine…" He found himself repeating to reassure her as much as himself.

Halfway there her hitched her limp body back against him still muttering a flow of sentences. "Don't worry Evans- Lily. You'll wake up soon and you can shout at me all you want. Call me a toe rag; hey it's not too bad of a name, I can deal with being called a toe rag- But do you know what? It's even okay if you don't ever want to see me again, it is! Just wake up soon honey…"

In his semi rambling/pleading he had failed to notice Lily stirring. In her dreams she fought her way to consciousness. The effort wore her to the bone but still she struggled, scrabbling to sink her fingers into something substantial outside of her terrifying dream world. Her fingers slipped and darkness welcomed her enticingly.

_No_! 

With a desperate cry she tore through an invisible barrier and broke the surface of the waking world with her mind in one piece. No demons dared to follow into the cold reality that received her with a nipping bite.

"James?" Lily blinked. Did she just hear him ask to be called a toe rag? She was cold and confused. This must be what it felt like to be confunded she thought distantly while trying to make sense of his expressions. She tried to sit up, forcing him to put her to the ground.

"Merlin's Beard! Lily! Are you okay!" but he didn't even get to hear her answer because he sensed something familiar…

"I think so. Ow…" Her arms hurt and the sight of the angry half closed welts on them horrified her. "Oh my g- it was all _real_. James I thought that it was a nightmare-"

James wasn't listening; he wasn't even looking at her anymore. "James?"

In one fluid motion he pushed her behind his back and he faced the way that they had come. "Go back to the castle." He ordered tensely.

"What?" This wasn't helping her confusion. She studied his face for clues to shed some light but he was fixed onto something in the distance, his brows creased and his eyes focussed on it with intensity.

"Do it!"

The sharpness of his tone alarmed Lily. Cautiously, she peered around his arm and squinted, following his line of vision. "Oh no…Remus…" The creature closed in on them slowly. Stalking them as it would its prey. There was no hurry; it wanted them to know that it was there. She pulled out her wand and moved to stand beside him but James held his uninjured arm out in front of her.

"No. You're going to get help." He said firmly with an eerie calm. Lily was struck by déjà vu. When confronted with a werewolf she had ran last time but not this time. This time she had a wand and it seemed that the stakes were higher. She had much more to lose; she could lose James.

Even wounded and battered her stubbornness reared. "I'm staying-"

James wasn't having any of it. "Listen to me Lily, you're hurt. Sirius needs help. Remus has transformed on a half moon. That's more than we can handle. I'm going to _need_ help and you're going to have to get it _for me_."

Lily bit her lip. More than anything she wanted to stay and help but there was no denying the solid logic that James forcefully presented in hushed undertones; she wasn't in any condition to fight off a werewolf. Excessive blood loss had left her light-headed and unsteady. She would only hinder James and any mistakes would end up _fatal_. There were more lives at stake than she had even thought.

After what seemed like an eternity to James she gave him a curt nod. She had to leave him but she was terrified of never seeing him again.

"All right, I'll get help. But Potter, don't you _dare_ do anything _stupid_ because I will _kill_ you if you do." She said with as much brutal force as she could muster.

Despite her ferocious tone, her eyes shone brightly and he could almost imagine a tear falling and leaving frozen trail down her face but it bravely stayed for his sake. Leaving him behind was clearly the hardest decision she had ever made and every inch of her was fighting it.

James could feel her fear and he loved her even more for it. It comforted his heart like a warm embrace and he knew that he would do everything within his power to hear her threaten him again. A shadow of a smile pressed his mouth until it widened to one of his favoured crooked grins.

"I'll see you soon, Evans." He said almost casually despite himself. With one last piercing look that lingered, Lily ran and James focussed everything he had on Remus the werewolf.

It had reached him at last.

James had his own reasons for staying. He did not want to leave Sirius alone, he may still be capable of casting spells but he wasn't thinking right. It also didn't matter how powerful a wizard was if he was blinded; it may take less than a few minutes for a clever wizard to lift the curse but it most certainly took less than a few minutes to be eaten alive.

To a lesser degree he also couldn't bring himself to abandon Snape to freeze to death or be eaten by Remus. He couldn't do that to a person he despised and he definitely couldn't do that to one of his best friends. Having thought that he also added that it was all Snape's fault and vowed to give him a good hexing when he got out of this.

The 'wolf watched Lily go. James whistled sharply and it turned to face him once more. "You're dealing with me." He growled softly. It was a challenge that the werewolf picked up on with relish. It liked prey that fought back.

A very wet, guttural snarl came forth from the 'wolf, and it gnashed its teeth, as if trying to crunch his fingers and striving to rip its claws into him.

James allowed it no such chance. Man and beast circled warily. His limbs tingled strangely and his sense of perception changed as his heart pumped adrenaline liberally around his body. He once heard that when a person's life was in danger, common sense was often stripped leaving all but a core of instinct. Whether that person survived or not depended on that core and often it was also the defining element to whether that person was destined to be prey or predator. James knew that he was neither. He held his ground.

"Moony…" James couldn't say 'this is not you' or 'you're not yourself' because they were all lies. Being a werewolf was part of his best friend whether anyone said it aloud or not. The moment that he was bitten condemned him as one for the rest of his life. Killing would become part of his nature once a lunar cycle no matter what he did.

James pushed these uncomfortable thoughts aside; he could spend all night trying to reason with Remus but the only way a werewolf would answer was its teeth.

The 'wolf circled too close to allow him sufficient time to transform and he knew that should he break eye contact at this crucial moment, his friend would have his throat ripped out in an instant. It snarled once and then it was airborne, springing at James with a savage maw of sharp teeth-

---

**A/N**: Wheee! Next Chapter is _MORS MORDRE_


	64. Mors Mordre

**A/N:** Ellllllo to you all!

Special thanks to Silverkonekotsukari who offered this wonderfully appropriate quote for Sirius:

All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity:  
but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible.  
—T. E. Lawrence from "The Seven Pillars of Wisdom"

MUCHO LOVE TO EVERYONE!

**Disclaimer**: I still don't anything HP related!

MORS MORDRE

Regulus glanced at the ancient clock that was mounted on the wall. It was a stupid old thing that you had to concentrate on to see past the archaic patterns before reading the time. It was a useless piece of junk and should have been thrown out long ago had it not once belonged the great Salazar Slytherin himself.

The clock chimed. Neither Lestrange or Snape had returned and it was well past the rendezvous hour. At first it angered Regulus that his part in the plan was to have no part of it but he quickly grew bored and occupied himself with a few chapters of "_Dark Artisans of Power_" By Grafult Kokenhabor. However, no matter how much of an interesting read it may be, the informative and graphic descriptions of wizards using unorthodox magic could not absorb his full attention that night.

Restlessness itched at his thoughts until it finally gave way to anxiousness. He wasn't exactly worried yet but it was an uneasy feeling that he didn't like.

He flipped the heavy tome shut. He'd had enough. Unable to withstand being kept in the dark any longer Regulus tentatively left the relative safety of the Slytherin common room. He was more than aware that tonight a werewolf roamed the grounds. Careful to watch his back he snaked along corridors and stairways until he reached the designated dungeon.

There was nothing but a wide pool of steaming water. So much for Snape's cage…

"Didn't work." He observed derisively.

Pressing on he reached the secret exit. Immediately he held a hand over his nose in distaste at the carcass that lay in his path. Seeing it made him glad that he hadn't had an active part in the plan as his conniving peers would have seen to it that he would be landed with the worst task; in this case, body picking.

With an even greater caution he went up and up along the twisted tunnel hewn crudely out of solid rock until the cold met his face with an arctic bite.

Tracing the decided route to the Forbidden Forest it didn't take him long to find Lestrange holed up like a devious bear in the snow along the way.

"You're late." He said letting his irritation show. The older Slytherin jumped in surprise and pushed the newly arrived Regulus away with irritation. "Just shut up and watch!"

Regulus refused to be silenced and opened his mouth to answer with a retort before he looked up ready to dismiss whatever it was that held Lestrange's attention so avidly. He could just about see a lone figure facing what was unmistakably a werewolf. Regulus gasped.

Even a troll could put two and two together. This was Lestrange's plan to get revenge on Sirius, seeing the dark hair and height of the person Regulus mistook James for Sirius. All animosity for his brother was immediately forgotten.

"The werewolf was supposed to be locked up!" He shouted at Lestrange. "That's my brother out there!" He pointed wildly. "He wasn't supposed to fight the werewolf!"

Lestrange did not look in the least bit bothered and wasn't about to explain that his brother was in fact somewhere over the hill riddled with madness.

"Watch him die."

_Both of them_. How fitting it was that he should get rid of both blood traitors, a Mudblood and eventually a vermin wolf all at once. They disgusted him in life and deserved each other only in death.

"WHAT?"

"It'll be interesting." Lestrange mused. Had Regulus really been so naïve to believe that a potion like the Draught of Delierum would not eventually kill the poisoned? If so he had completely overrated him. The honoured Blacks had grown decrepit over generations save for his darling Bella and perhaps her sister of course.

Regulus began to back off. "You're crazy!"

"No, your brother is." Lestrange smirked nastily. "What do you think you are doing?" he asked mockingly when he saw Regulus ready his wand. "Going to fight off the werewolf to save your blood traitor?"

"I'm not going to let him die like that." Regulus replied tightly. "He has dishonoured our family and he will be dealt with accordingly the Black way. Dying at the teeth of vermin debases even him."

Lestrange threw his head back and laughed heartily. "Go home boy, your guts are wasted here. That 'wolf will have you dead before you can even cast a spell. You're no match for it."

"I…" Regulus was in his 6th year but his skills were mediocre and far under par from his brother's. He understood this as well as Lestrange but what could he do? With a grunt of frustration and semi-formed determination he got up and sprinted at full speed back to the castle.

Lestrange sneered at his retreating silhouette. "Useless fool." People like Regulus did not get far in life. "If you start something you had better have the guts to finish it." Fortunately, he had the intention of finishing it all.

---

Lily threw Sirius' cloak off, it was hindering her movements heavily. It lay on the snow, wet and ruined with her blood. With reluctance she abandoned it and braced against the cold-

"Oh My- Sirius!" Like a ghost he materialised into view. With a stuttered run she went to him, collapsing to her knees just as she grabbed him about the arm.

"Who's there?" He demanded throwing her off. Lily braced herself with her weakened arms, her surprise quickly fading when she saw that his eyes were sealed shut.

_Conjunctivitis curse. _

With a flick of her wand it was partially lifted and he cracked an eye open to look at her with amazement.

"Me! It's me!" She cried dangerously close to crying. It was the best that she could do for the moment and already it was making her giddy.

He looked bewildered. "Lily?"

"Yes!" She had been terrified for him when he'd baited the Centaur away and was incredibly glad to see him unhurt… The sight of him, no matter how haggard gave her strength. His familiarity was like a single hot flame in her frozen state and it fuelled her hope or maybe it was simple relief that both she and he could help James together?

She staggered to her feet with a renewed surge of energy. "Come on! We need to get help!" She called while taking lead heading to the castle-

-Her scream was cut short even as it formed in her throat-

-A spell smashed into her back, stealing her of air and sending her forwards. Shocked she rolled over to her back gasping, her back on fire with pain. So sudden the attack had been that she thought that she was dead.

This death _hurt_.

"Muwhahahaha!" A deranged laugh echoed around her and she realised that she was not expelled into a frozen purgatory but definitely alive for she felt all wounds afresh.

Lily got up so quick that her spine cracked. "Sirius?"

He hovered not too far brandishing his wand and laughing strangely. "_Rapincio_!"

Blessed with a sound instinct Lily reacted instantly. "_Protego_!" Her shield barely cushioned the blow of a nasty hex in time. "Sirius!" She screamed from behind her solid shimmering shield.

"YOU'RE DEAD!" he screamed back. His hair was wild about his face, his one good eye open at a slit and the other congealed shut all together. He was almost unrecognisable. Snow caked all over him and it was obvious that he was freezing. Why hadn't she noticed any of this before?

Her heart pounded. Sirius could be aggressively mean when he was feeling insensitive, and he never came out of a physical argument without being the victor but he never set out to hurt anyone, let alone a friend deliberately. For all his tongue and cheek tough talk he always took pride in his honour. Attacking a friend from behind in such a way was not in his nature.

_This couldn't be Sirius._

By any standard tonight was a night that she would never forget. Logic and reason was something of an abstract idea and strictly non-applicable to anything. What should she do? What _could_ she do? He was not the same Sirius as before but in her mind she couldn't quite separate the two.

Because they're the bloody same person for crying out loud! 

It was very hard not to remember how he spoke to her about James before the Centaur as she pondered her next move. His sincerity, honesty and good will to understand…

With a massive exertion of her magical skill Lily held her shield and began to push forward straight to him.

No matter what she had to reach him.

Spell after spell hit her protective barrier and it shoved her a few steps back each time but still she pressed on, determined to reach her goal.

He was wearing himself out. She could see and feel him physically weakening with each spell until he doubled over breathing heavily. He was totally spent and didn't even retaliate when she came within arm's distance. She cautiously lowered her shield and when it was apparent that he couldn't even lift his wand anymore she raised a hand and slapped him hard across the face.

"You idiot! What's wrong with you!"

Luckily and unbeknownst to Lily, Sirius was already in a what would be considered a post-violent stage of madness and now he talked largely in seemingly unrelated sentences. It was a good thing too, had he been as powered up as he was before she would have been defeated long before she could even raise a shield.

He stared at her gormlessly as if the slap had never happened. "I can fully assure you that I won't be overly impressed if that thing decides to rip my arm off and then beats me to pulp with it."

"What on earth are you on about?"

"Steak! Could have killed a Hippogriff."

Lily blinked uncertainly until it dawned on her that somehow he must be confunded or something, which explained his wildly awry confusion. "Oh…Sirius…" She touched his face again, this time gently. She could barely feel any heat under her fingertips and it worried her. He wasn't far from hypothermia. He didn't move from her touch or seem to feel it. He just stood there, slightly hunched with his teeth chattering uncontrollably.

She held out her hand. "Come here, Sirius, we need to get help." She said trying to coax him.

He slapped her hand away. "No!"

"Sirius-" Without intending to Lily reached out again but her wand was still in her hand and she ended up jabbing Sirius in the side with it. Her wand protested loudly with a loud firecracker bang and Sirius responded with a yell.

"Oh that's all right! Take a wand and _stab _me with it!" he howled and began to run away from her.

Lily shook her head. "No I didn't mean- come back!" But he outran her by far. She half tried to chase but-

_James!_

Her loyalties lay split in front of her. On one hand there was James and Remus and on the other there was Sirius. Demanding seconds ticked away with pressure until she turned and ran for the castle with an even greater urgency before.

---

James threw himself at the werewolf just as it pounced. The move was not planned, he had simply reacted instinctively, which would have been fine had he been in his stag form but as a human he was nowhere near as strong or resilient.

The 'wolf snarled as it was knocked off course and it tried to take a huge swipe as it fell away but James twisted and landed on his shoulder hard. He was up in an instant, being off balance meant vulnerability.

He fired a spell as quickly as he could, a powerful stunner that threw the 'wolf further away before he confunded it. With a yelp Remus tried to shake the confusion spell off but a solid hurling hex tossed it high into the air.

By the play of fate, the werewolf was hurled over the hill and landed not too far from Lestrange where it whimpered and fell momentarily still. The Slytherin stared at it with his mouth open. It couldn't be defeated so easily! It couldn't! He dug himself out of his snow hole muttering curses.

"Useless!" He shouted angrily and went to kick it. The 'wolf twitched and he quickly flew back to put some distance between it and himself.

"OI!" James bellowed having climbed the hill in time to see him kick Remus. "What the hell do you think you're doing!"

"Finishing off blood traitors." He answered unexpectedly, the cogwheels of his power lusting mind twisting.

_It was time_. He told himself.

Incompetence had fouled his revenge. Snape's incompetence, Black's incompetence and hell even the incompetence of the pathetic werewolf had ruined it all. If he got nothing from tonight he would at least take Potter's head to the Dark Lord to show his worth!

James' eyes narrowed. Of course Snape wouldn't be alone in his destruction, it was only natural that Lestrange would be involved too. It didn't matter who instigated whom into this, James wasn't going to let either go. Lestrange definitely wasn't going anywhere without a fight and he knew that the Slytherin could sense this-

-Before any spells were exchanged the werewolf leapt once more-

-Ignoring Lestrange altogether it pounced on the only prey that would sate its unholy blood lust-

Caught off guard it landed heavily on James and together they rolled down the hill. James wrestled for his life. Claws tore easily into him but all he could see were _teeth_. One bite and it would all be over. If he lived then he too would surrender his soul once a month and that was if he was lucky. Death appeared imminent as he quickly tired. The 'wolf was wearing him down and it _knew_ it. Every bone crushing snap it made took away more of James' energy. The second he failed then victory was to be had-

With a last desperate kick James managed to throw the werewolf off but it was back in an instant with a frenzy of snapping jowls and flying spittle-

"MOVE!" A voice yelled from above and James did. He dove to the right hoping that whatever it was that he was moving for, he had moved enough.

Snape swayed unsteadily atop the hill but he tossed the large jar of potion anyway. In mid air, he pointed his wand and managed to hit a spell on it causing the glass to explode. A shower of water poles rained down-

-Slammed into the snow like picks in soil surrounding the werewolf in a cage made out of water-

-The werewolf snapped furiously at the bars and growled, shaking foam from its wide maw-James blinked, unable to believe his eyes. He sat up. Unbelievably Snape had just saved his life.

"No No No NOOOO!" Lestrange screamed at Snape. "It was going to finish him!"

Snape glared at him, a hand pressed over a bleeding nostril of his swollen and broken nose. "It won't achieve anything."

Things could not have gotten worse. Had the plan not been screwed up they would have the werewolf blood by now and the potion would have been enough to kill within ten minutes once administered. One lethal dose that was hard to trace in a post mortem wizard or Muggle way. Lily, that blasted Potter and the insufferable Black was all involved now.

Snape could see Black running stupidly in wild circles from his high vantage viewpoint. Immediately below Potter stood with his mouth open like a fool beside the cage. More or less on the same level as him Lestrange stood in a spitting rage.

"You're own your own now." Snape informed him. With a cold intelligence that all Slytherin possessed in one form or another he had evaluated his best path of retreat in seconds. To them it was the basic rule of survival: looking after your own back. Like he wanted to save Potter! It was his only choice.

Lestrange cackled. "Spoken like a true Slytherin. I was beginning to think that you had become a blood traitor. The Dark Lord would have been most disappointed."

Manipulating Lestrange was too easy. Without even trying he'd offered an opening. "I would never disappoint the Lord. You may have made a mess this time but I refuse to be dragged down by it. I plan to stay here and carry out the Dark Lord's will. He wants me to stay and for that I will clean myself of your doings!"

It was a gamble. Lestrange was caught as good as red handed. He could either take all the blame or take him down with him. Snape hoped that it would be the former. Lestrange was an idiot, if he believed that the Dark Lord wanted him to stay then he would make sure he stayed.

Snape could deal with Potter, especially now that he had just saved his life. He would play the hero while Lestrange took the blame. "Or dare you defy him?" he challenged.

Lestrange's eyes glinted, underneath the hard stare Snape could detect the wavering indecision. With a dark stare of his own he returned it with all his willing might until Lestrange looked away a little unnerved that Snape should have a glare that shadowed the Dark Lord's. "Then I await the good news, if the Lord and I do not hear anything substantial from you before graduation then consider your life forfeit."

Snape sneered but said nothing. He spoke as if he was the Lord most trusted Follower but in reality he was nothing but a worthless dog.

Without warning Lestrange pointed his wand above his head. "This is for you My Lord!" he shouted with a maniacal laugh. "_MORS MORDRE_!" Failed as this mission may be but the Dark Lord will leave his signature; it was only a matter of time before Hogwarts was his.

Green smoke erupted from the end of his wand and flew up forming an eerie skull that glowed bright with green sparks. Snakes writhed and fell from its mouth.

The mark rose. It was already visible to all in the immediate vicinity and soon it would have reached high enough for all to see…

By the time Lily reached the stairs the doors swung open and Dumbledore strode out followed by Regulus. Framed by the massive archway the great wizard froze; his features turning ice cold when he saw what was rising in the sky.

Lily twisted around and her jaw dropped. "No!"

James staggered back. "Oh Shit! Shit!" The Dark Mark! Without thinking he threw up the tip his wand at the Mark. He couldn't let it rise or fear will finish the school for sure. "I won't allow it!" He yelled. "He will not touch Hogwarts!" Inky blackness shot out from his wand and chased after the green, distorting the image that was mostly formed. James poured everything he had into stifling the Dark mark but all it seemed to do was delay it's complete form.

From the corner of his eye he could see a pale shadow swoop in.

Tatty? 

She soared in gracefully followed by a camouflaged flicker that he knew was Chewy. Together they flew in circles around the Dark Mark. Faster and faster they flew until they summoned enough magic and speed to dispel the mark altogether. With a ear splitting hiss of a protest the skull dissipated into a mist of green.

_About bloody time_. James thought distantly. He heard Lestrange scream shortly after a distinct cat screech and with the sound of a residual shout, everything went black and James Potter fell unconscious.

---

**A/N:** Has anyone seen the new GoF movie yet? I loved it!

Next chapter: GRAVELY BONKERS. I'm quite fond of it for some strange reason. The chapter was mostly written up even before this one was finished so it should be up soon!


	65. Gravely Bonkers

DISCLAIMER: I still don't own HP.

GRAVELY BONKERS

With the conviction that today was just any other day, James Potter woke up and got stiffly out of bed. He wandered over to where the bathroom should be, but when he opened his eyes fully he found himself facing a privacy screen.

"Wha?" he voiced, trying to fight off the Troll level of stupidity that confounded his brain. Behind him in the bed next to his, Sirius was sitting up grumbling.

"Ah, shit." The white walls, the faint herbal smell, the squeaky beds… "_Here_ again." James thought aloud dismally and returned to the bed. The hospital wing was like a second bedroom. "You okay, Padfoot?" He asked.

But his friend was too busy muttering. "Why use spells when you can just stab people with your wand?" It was strange that among all the insane things this was what he could remember best.

James yawned and winced after a stretch. "What's that?"

"Nothing."

Again James had to resist the urge to say "Huh?" He remembered the cold, his arm…the snow… "Moony!"

"In one of the rooms." Sirius replied.

"Lily?"

"In another room."

"Good…" Another name popped to mind. "And you…are you…?"

Sirius looked over with an eyebrow raised. "Am I what?"

"Ummm…are you…?"

"What?"

James' eyes hunted about for Sirius' wand and found it lying on the bedside table. He eyed it warily for it was within easy reach.

Sirius smiled much like his old self. "I've had the antidote."

"Antidote?" He echoed stupidly.

"Yes, Prongs. Some dodgy potion poisoned me. _Insania _something or another. I'd never seen Pomfrey get so worked up. I think she swore!" Sirius said trying to work a bit of humor back in but awkwardness from his behalf made everything including the conversation appear forced. Luckily James was still too doped up with painkiller potions to really notice anything.

"Uh…"

"Merlin, did I mess you head up that bad when I kicked your ass?" he said in mock exasperation.

James made a face. "You wish!"

Conversation came to an abrupt stop when the wide doors swung open and Dumbledore swept in with McGonagall marching in close behind. Between them Regulus entered looking caught somewhat between anger and despair.

A deep scowl appeared instantly on Sirius' bruised yet still handsome face. His eyes stalked his brother until he reached the foot of his bed with the guidance of McGonagall.

"I hope recovery is coming along well for you both." Dumbledore started politely. James nodded and mumbled a reply but Sirius just ignored him altogether.

"He's got something to do with it hasn't he?" Sirius asked shrewdly, he already had a fairly good idea that his question was rhetorical. Regulus refused to meet his accusing stare. "Hasn't he?" Sirius prompted.

Dumbledore sighed sadly though he remained calmly neutral. "Regulus I think there's something that you need to talk to your brother about."

"He's not my brother!" Regulus snapped angrily. "I hate him." He added in a lower tone.

Sirius folded his heavily bandaged arms. James looked at him, then at Regulus and then back at his friend again. Sirius never did the 'quietly angry' thing; that was something he or Remus did. When Sirius got angry he was usually explosively so. Why he hadn't flown off into a rage yet was unsettling.

"You and Sirius are brothers." The Headmaster stated. "You share the same blood. A bond that cannot be broken no matter what you say."

Regulus glowered with irritation before he apparently decided to change his demeanor. He crossed his arms, unwittingly reflecting his brother perfectly. "All right then." For the first time he met his brother squarely in the eyes. "_Yes_, I was involved in the little escapade tonight."

A muscle twitched in Sirius' tight jaw. James tensed; ready to grab him if he decided to slam a fist into his brother but to his credit Sirius didn't move an inch.

"So?" Regulus leered, almost goading him on like he wanted to be hit. "What do you think of that? Your _brother_ got you poisoned with a madness potion, _deliberately_."

Sirius finally broke his silence. "What were you _thinking_?" he demanded, not quite shouting but not quite talking either. His reprimanding tone took Regulus aback. He was expecting anger yes, but he was also expecting a torrent of derisive abuse and taunts, instead it seemed that he was getting _told off_?

"You conspired with the likes of Lestrange to achieve what? _This_?" Sirius pointed roughly at his bandages. "In that case, _well done_! All that effort to work with scum and this all you sodding get? Looks like a bad deal to me."

Regulus' mouthed dropped, his cocky attitude rapidly falling to pieces. All at once it was as if he was going back in time and he was a child trying to justify something he knew he'd done wrong. Whether Sirius knew it or not, he was exerting his authority as an older brother over him. "It was supposed to be a lesson, nothing more than that…it wasn't meant to get you-"

"A bloody lesson? If you want to get back at me for one thing or another then _challenge_ me. Challenge me with a duel where you can openly hurt me, that is, if you can. Judging by the way you've gone about it I doubt that you are even able to. You're too scared to even do that so you took the coward's way out." Sirius' deliberate arrogance rendered Regulus speechless. As with pride, arrogance was intimately linked with confidence and with Sirius' increased arrogance, Regulus lost his confidence.

The Headmaster kept his silence while he observed Sirius teach in a way that he wasn't able to as a bystander. What is built wrong must be torn down so that it may be built again, this time the correct way. Sirius was applying the meaning with uncanny accuracy.

Regulus looked down much like a child would. "I wanted… I needed you to suffer…"

"Just like you _think_ you did." Sirius stated quietly.

His brother looked up sharply. "You can never understand what you did to us."

"Just like you can never understand _why_ I did what I did." Sirius threw back.

"You didn't care!"

Sirius snorted. "If you really knew what happened then you would know that I cared _too much_. Go home and ask dear old Mother. She'll be able to tell you how I ravaged our family honour by hanging around with the 'filth of society'."

"Don't talk about Mother like that! She has honour to protect-"

"She's living in an Age of Foolishness! It's people like her that are trying so damn hard to bring the rest of the world into darkness where a person's worth is weighed out with their blood!"

"She believes in keeping the elite away from the dregs of society!"

Sirius closed his eyes, pressure pounding behind each pupil. When he opened them again his brother swarmed straight back into view with an infuriating ignorance. If he could, he would gladly beat sense into the brat. "What about Voldemort?"

"Wh-at about him?" Regulus stuttered, clearly shaken that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was mentioned so openly in front of Dumbledore. Try as he might he couldn't quite hide the guilt that surged up.

"He's _killing_, Regulus!" Sirius almost shouted. "He's killing to uphold this so called pure-blood philosophy!"

"If it's what must be done then it will be done." Regulus muttered quietly. None but Sirius appeared to catch it and even then he had to lip read.

"Regulus, I swear, if one day I find you killing…_don't let _me_ be the one that catches you_."

"That's enough." Dumbledore stepped in. "Minerva will you please do me the favour of escorting Regulus back to his room so that he may pack?" McGonagall nodded and steered Regulus to the door.

Sirius watched them leave with an angry glare. James asked the question that he knew Sirius wanted to know the answer to but wouldn't ask himself. "To pack sir?"

"Yes, I've suspended Regulus for a period of time, he is to return home and be home-schooled for this period."

"Is that all?" Sirius was surprised that he wasn't punished with anything more serious.

"Regulus has done much wrong but he has tried to redeem himself."

Sirius snorted. "With what? Bad attitude?"

Dumbledore shook his head mildly. "I'm afraid that he has played a greater role than you believe. He was the one who alerted Minerva and I that there was trouble in the Court. I brought him here hoping that he would tell you that himself but perhaps one day…" For a moment the old wizard appeared wistful but it quickly grew into a quiet confidence that it would indeed happen one day.

---

The early hours of the morning at the hospital wing saw to it that James was still wide-awake. Unable to sleep he sneaked off to see Remus who was recuperating in a private room near Pomfrey's office. If possible, his friend looked more ill and gaunt than usual after a transformation. He winced at the thought of having used spells on him the way he did.

"Sorry mate, didn't mean any of it." He apologized quietly before creeping out again without waking him.

Next he found Lily. He tapped on her door quietly just in case but there was no reply. Opening the door a crack he slipped in as silently as he could and waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness.

Remus had been given a private ward for obvious reasons but he believed that Lily had requested for one. He padded to her still form and knelt beside the bed, marveling at how something as simple as her steady breathing could offer him so much comfort. She was alive and that was what mattered. He was no longer adamant that he would only be happy if they were together for now he knew that as long as she was alive and well he would be happy.

He crouched there for long time, not wanting to give up the close proximity but in the end he left but not before leaving the softest of kisses on her forehead.

The door clicked behind him and he headed back for his bed, hopping a step every now and again because his feet were getting cold. He began to tiptoe as he passed Pomfrey's office because he could hear the murmur of conversation through the door. He almost made it all the way when he heard the name "Lestrange." Curious he doubled back and began to eavesdrop.

"It is rare for Hogwarts to turn its back on students." Dumbledore said gravely. "Especially now of all times. I fear that expelling Rodolphus will only abandon him to the hands of Tom."

_Tom?_

James scratched his head mentally.

"Worrying." McGonagall confirmed.

"But the safety of the students comes before all else. I will arrange something."

What it was that Dumbledore arranged James never found out, at least not immediately and even after he did it was mostly guesswork. For now, satisfied that Lestrange was dealt with James slipped back to his bed. With care he eased his aching bones onto the mattress trying to avoid a certain creak of a spring.

He shook his head. It was rather worrying that he spent long enough here to know the beds well. With a conviction to avoid Madam Pomfrey for as long as possible he slowly drifted to an uneasy sleep.

Sirius waited until James' breathing deepened before he edged out of his bed. He too avoided putting weight on a certain few spots to prevent the loud springs. He headed straight for the muffled voices although unlike James he was not in the least curious of what would become of Lestrange as long as he was far far far away from him. Preferably locked up and treated with a dose of stinging hexes on a daily basis, but he'd settle for a great stretch of distance between them. This, he decided was in the best interests for Lefreak because if he ever got a chance he would gladly throttle him to death with his bare hands. In the dark Sirius bared his teeth, if only he could get a hold of him.

He knocked softly on the door. The voices beyond stopped abruptly before Dumbledore's musical voice told him to enter. He slipped in, careful to close the door after and padded slowly to the seated Professors.

Sensing that Sirius had personal matters to discuss McGonagall soon excused herself and Dumbledore waved Sirius to occupy her vacated squishy armchair (no doubt conjured by him).

"Sir."

"Sirius."

Sirius opened his mouth. In truth he wasn't quite sure whether he should be here. He knew what he wanted to discuss but was quite at loss at how to discuss it. Whilst lying in bed waiting for Prongs to doze off he had assumed that once he was here words would pour out but being awkward as usual, it didn't.

Dumbledore waited patiently in a way that only he was capable of doing. His elbows rested on the armchair and the points of his fingers drew together thoughtfully just below his chin. His eyes were twinkling and all at once piercing.

"Sir," He tried again. Dumbledore nodded for him to continue. "Evil. What does it mean to be evil?"

If the Headmaster was thrown off by his question he hid it well because all he did was offer a small smile that said nothing. "If you don't mind me asking, is this something to do with what happened in the Court yard?"

Sirius nodded. "I'm just having a bit of a hard time sorting everything out and there are…lots of things, _feelings_ I had tonight that confuse me. I mean to be evil you have to wish harm upon someone else right? Even a close friend?"

"That is correct."

"Well tonight, I…I tried my damned hardest to kill James…"

"And now you think that you are evil?"

Sirius found that he couldn't quite look at Dumbledore anymore; instead he stared at the sleeve of his pajama top. "I know that I was zonked out by some potion but-"

"That wasn't just any potion, Mister Black. It was _the_ Draught of Delirium. It's powerfully hallucinogenic so I believe that you were quite out of your mind."

"Yea but what if it was feeding off something? Lily's delusions stemmed from her subconscious guilt over the death of her parents so I dunno, maybe inside I have some subconscious desire to kill my best friend or something? I could be that twisted but I just haven't known about it until now."

"The potion affects each person uniquely. As a friend of Lily's I'm sure that you understand how deeply the death of parents have impacted on her. Guilt as you have correctly termed it hangs heavy on her shoulders. It is a misplaced guilt but she feels that it is hers alone and with nothing else to surrender to the draught it was guilt that took control. With you, Sirius, your case is very different. Tragedy does have a mark on you but you have reached an understanding that the fault is not your own."

"What so Lily had an orientated kind of delusional madness and I was just plain mad? But then why on Earth would I want to kill James?"

"Madness needs no reason, Mister Black. James happened to be there at the wrong place at the wrong time. Although seeing as how much worse things could have potentially turned, he was there at precisely the right time."

Sirius sat back letting Dumbledore's words sink in feeling better for the first time that night/morning (the whole school would wake up in less than an hour).

"Cool, I think…thanks." He stood up to leave but he paused to ask one more question. "So, Professor,"

"Yes?"

"Was I totally off my rocker tonight?"

The Headmaster gave one of his trademark eye-twinkling smiles. "For lack of a better word, yes you were completely _bonkers_."

Sirius gave a crooked grin. "Excellent." He said and skipped back- no scratch that! Sirius doesn't skip! He _swaggered_ back to bed and flopped onto it ignoring the multiple _twangs _of the mattress groaning under his weight.


	66. Scraggly Twigs With White Stuff

**A/N:** You guys have been kinda quiet lately. :(

Also, with regards to the 'theory' behind the Animagus transformations in this chapter, it's a whole load of bull that I made up based on a little bit of thermodynamics. So if you don't understand it that's cool because it's not really there to be understood, only to show how difficult magic is for the characters in their final year and to show that magic is actually a very tough concept. At least that's what I think because it took the Marauders so many years to be able to transform.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any HP characters or the world that they are set in. Anything you recognize does not belong to me.

**SCRAGGLY TWIGS WITH WHITE FLUFF**

---

James sat hunched over roll of two of parchment, hidden behind a pile of growing books. If anything sucked about being the last year it was the sheer amount of work that had to be done. He was in the hospital wing for crying out loud! Homework should be the last thing on his recuperating mind yet here he was clawing through text after text out of necessity.

His post Hogwarts life beckoned to him with a wagging finger and he would dearly love to flip it the finger were it not so damn important. Yet at the same time he was eager to get out and to see the world as a fully qualified wizard. He'd lend his strength (whatever it was worth) to eradicate the likes of Voldemort and his poxy Death Eaters. It was somewhat a romantic dream but James could only shrug, what could he say? He was a traditional kind of guy and he possessed firm foundations of right and wrong. Especially now as his brief reverie came to and end and the spreading ink blotch on his parchment came back into focus. All this work was clearly _wrong_. Had McGonagall any humor she could have written 'With Love' on top of the assignments that she had unceremoniously dumped on them.

"What, it's been like two days and she's already giving us jip about being behind on work. Give me a break!" He complained moodily. Having been bed bound for what felt like eternity restlessness was beginning to kill him. Madam Pomfrey was keeping an eagle eye on the both of them and they were barely allowed to nip to the loo without permission. For lack of a better they were prisoners sentence to do nothing but homework.

"Did she forget that in one night I dueled against two of my best friends! People don't usually recover from stuff like that for at least a week!"

Sirius shrugged. "Moony doesn't count."

"Yea, maybe you are right. I dueled you but with Moony it was more like him ripping in and me running for my life." James admitted with some thought. "Well, I guess it could have been worse-"

"How bloody worse could it have gotten, Prongs?" Sirius replied tetchily. He'd been in an awful mood ever since Wormtail delivered news of Snape. Apparently the whole school was treating him like some kind of hero because he 'saved' James. This was another thing that was _wrong_, _wrong WRONG!_ They couldn't help but be put off since somebody had apparently forgotten to mention the fact that he was the one who _put_ them in danger in the first place! Unfortunately there was little they could do because there was simply no evidence. Regulus refused to speak and Lestrange only opened his mouth to spew the foulest words until he was escorted off the premises.

"Stinking Snivellus!" Sirius cursed. "I'll get him back for this."

"Padfoot…" Moony chided as he hobbled in. "I can hear you all the way from my room!"

"What? He gets a _bloody _medal for being an asshole and what do I sodding get? Not even a pat on the back!"

An uncharacteristic smirk crept onto Moony's pale face. "You're lucky you didn't get detention."

Sirius appeared put out and a little aggravated that he and his friends didn't appear to be on the same wavelength. "Detention? What for?"

"Bodily harm to another student."

"When?"

On cue, James raised his arm.

Sirius was far from impressed. "Oh that? It's a scratch!"

"It was a Severing charm!" James exclaimed indignantly. "One more inch and I'll be catching the Quaffle with one arm!"

Sirius snorted before grinning. "Hmph! Then we'd all be screwed because you can barely catch it with two!"

"OI" James threw a pillow at Sirius who ducked and it hit Moony.

"This is war!" Moony seized the pillow and swung it into Sirius and the two boys began to grapple immediately.

James chortled and moved further away before returning his attention to the piece of parchment he'd been trying to write on. "Two pinches of…" He squinted. "…Squiggle stuff…damn it! I can't read my own handwriting!" he tossed it aside and fell back against his pillows ready to give up almost straight away.

Sirius leaned over and peered at it. "Don't worry 'bout it mate, I don't think anyone knows how to read chicken scratches."

James gave him a withering look. "You try writing with your hand patched up like this!" he held up his heavily bandaged hand just as Lily swept in and deposited some more books.

"Two pinches of dusted Tweazles." She read off to resolve the mystery of the chicken scratches. She was in such a haste to see, hear, sense and _feel_ as little as possible whilst in that room that she didn't even seem to notice Sirius give her the wide-eyed wonder expression.

"I am truly amazed. You must be a very clever witch if you can read chicken scratches!" Sirius exclaimed but all she did was shrug and leave as quickly as she had entered. James watched her go and even continued to stare at the door when he could no longer see her.

"Things are still bad." Sirius observed with a bit of uncharacteristic sympathy.

"Looks that way." Came his sad reply.

For a moment Sirius dropped his childish façade and grew staid even as Moony continued to pound him with the pillow. Things didn't look good but from what he knew of Lily, no matter how extremely one sided her thoughts could become she would eventually come to her senses. He was secretly waiting for her to breakdown. As bad as it may sound he knew that once she realized that James had become too much of a part of her she would return.

Having had enough of being somber Sirius crossed his arms in front of defensively like he was warding off evil. "Forget match-making you two back together! She might poke me with her wand again! Have you tried being mowed down by a dead Centaur lately?"

"It was a phantom Centaur."

Sirius looked indignant. "You call these phantom?" he pointed to his bandaged wounds. "That's blood!"

"Self-inflicted."

"You're a heartless man!" He complained and rolled over preparing for a long nap ignoring Remus still.

James felt his gaze wander back to the door. "That I am now…" he sighed sadly and slid out of bed. With a crafty bit of skill that involved making Moony hide in his bed he dressed and took an armful of books.

"Don't move, if Pomfrey discovers that you're not me, lie." He instructed.

Remus threw himself onto the said bed and made himself comfy. "What if you run into her on the way out?"

James patted the books. I'll tell her I'm on my way to return some books to McGonagall."

"And what if she discovers me missing?"

"Dunno, make something up."

Moony nodded. "Plenty of plot holes but what the heck. Get going!"

"Cheers mate!" James waved and he was off but it turned out he didn't have far to go. Literally not far at all because just outside the Medical Wing stood Lily.

Likewise Lily appeared equally surprised. She blushed and looked down.

"Lily!" he greeted happily before clearing his throat. "I mean hi." He said trying to start again and setting the atmosphere in which he was most likely to be forgiven. "What are you doing here?" He cringed inwardly and before he could help it nervousness got the better or him. "Not that you're not allowed to be here or anything…I mean, you did just bring us some books. Thanks for that by the way…urm…do you know the Quidditch score?" Of all the things to say…

It was as if he could read Lily's mind and she struggled not to roll her eyes. He swallowed and watched as the corner of her mouth twitched and before he knew it, it grew into a smile.

"You're such an idiot." She said. Before she'd been afraid of facing James but now she realized there was nothing to be afraid of, not when he's being his bumbling stupid self.

James didn't know what to make of it, "Uh…"

Lily moved closer and unexpectedly wrapped her arms around him books and all. It wasn't ideal or even comfortable but she was glad. James swallowed back his surprised and managed to chuckle softly. "If you want me to give you a proper hug I've gotta put down my books first."

"That's okay. I was just glad that you're okay." Lily said withdrawing. James let go of the books and the heavy volumes fell to the ground. One landed on his toe whilst the others suffered a rip or two but James didn't care. He opened his arms and pulled Lily back.

"Don't go." He said holding her tight.

Lily didn't reply because she was holding him just as tightly and with her face pressed into his the base of his neck she felt safe. _This is how it's supposed to feel like_. She told herself. If she'd learnt anything lately it was she could never be the one to walk away, she would stay until the day he asked her to leave…

The pair spent the afternoon wandering about Hogwarts hand in hand like it was their first date. They talked about anything and everything along with all the bits in between. Lily had never felt so at ease in her whole life and James…well what he was thinking became apparent soon. An idea had formed and its persistence grew so strong that he knew it was no longer and idea but something he must do.

"Look I'll show you something!" James took Lily by the hands and led her up to his room. "I transfigured some roses for you." He said once they were there. "Well, it kinda happened by accident but they are for you!"

Lily looked around but all she saw was a vase with scraggly twigs with white fluff on them. She guessed that they were Stargazers albeit dried and dead ones. "Really?"

"Yupz!" He went to pick up the vase but froze. "Where did they go?" he snatched it up and peered in and around completely at lost over how they disappeared. "Moony must have thrown them out." He said fully dispirited.

"Real smooth." Lily teased.

"They were here!" James insisted looking a little hurt.

Lily laughed quietly and swatted him lightly over the head before bringing her fingers to his jaw line. She rubbed it soothingly. "Fine, it's the thought that counts anyway."

"Really?"

"Sure."

"Are you really sure?"

"Definitely."

"Really really sure?"

"Urm…yea…" Lily replied a little suspiciously.

"Good because erm…" He held the dry twigs up to her. "Will you marry me?"

Lily's jaw dropped.

"Quit messing about James."

"I'm not. Seriously I'm not." For a second neither said anything. She was too intent in looking for the slightest hint of humor in his expression and he was too mesmerized by her impossibly green eyes. He felt like her gaze probed straight through his and burnt a hole in his mind. A Lily hole. It wasn't the most romantic of images but it was a truthful one. His heart was beating fast and hard and he wished he could look away from her penetrating glare.

"Do you remember the last time you tried to propose?" She asked seemingly out of the blue.

James feigned deep thought although in truth he had no problem recalling the incident. He believed that students still talked about it even now. "Yes, I believe you was rather insulted."

Lily grinned. "A piece of turkey got up from my plate and started asking for marriage in your voice! I was absolutely freaked out."

"And not in the least flattered?"

"By a talking piece of turkey?"

"By my proposal!"

"I was twelve! Marriage was quite out of my league of thoughts!"

"What about now?"

Lily averted her eyes and fiddled with the hem of her skirt feeling way out of her comfort boundary. "I…I need to concentrate on my studies."

"And you can't concentrate your studies while being married to me?"

"I'm still a teenager!"

"So am I."

"Oh James! Stop messing about!"

"I'm not!" He insisted, bringing the conversation around into a full circle.

"All right then. Why now of all times?"

He hesitated. "Because I only thought of it just now." He said with an honesty he did not intend.

"Just now?" she echoed. James, not one to panic easily, was nearly thrown into a nervous fit by her tone. Should he lie? Should he reassure her that he had it in his mind for ages? Should he go with what he started?

Too many questions and no answers! Without warning he keeled over onto her lap. "James!" She almost freaked thinking that maybe he hadn't recovered from his injuries.

"Too much pressure…brain overload…" He grumbled into her skirt. "Please just say yes."

Lily stared down at the back of his head where his hair stuck up at weird angles. With one hand she scrunched it up some more. "No."

He bolted upright at once. "Wha?"

"No, James. The answer is no."

"But why?"

Lily's seriousness lasted another two seconds perhaps before she dissolved into laughter. "Quit playing James!" she stood up and arranged her uniform. "Besides, It's lunch time!" With that she skipped ahead leaving James to stare after her.

For once food was the last thing on his mind. "She said no…"

---

Since that fateful moment that he had proposed for the first time and Lily had declined thinking that he was having a laugh, James Potter became determined to show her just how serious he was. Yes, it had been a spontaneous proposal for which he was ill prepared for.

_It was a life-changing question!_

He thought in retrospect and nervousness began to pervade his cluttered mind.

_Heck! _ If he known beforehand that he would be asking Lily to spend forever after with him he might have combed his hair a bit more. He might have spent some time planning his question as well…and offering her a dozen or so _fresh_ flowers would have been nice and a ring would have been dead useful! The list was simply endless! And over the last two weeks he strove to correct the list.

Over breakfast…over lunch, over dinner and just about every opportunity he had with her alone and many when they weren't alone he popped the question over and over. To his dismay Lily was having none of it. Whether in the eyes of everyone around them or alone she always laughed it off.

"Trust me James, it's just a phase."

For being a bright witch it seemed that Lily could be just as equally dim. It was like she was _determined_ to think that he was being insincere and James couldn't tell what hurt him more. He never realized that a word as simple as 'no' could be so damn hurtful especially now that she stopped listening to him whenever he even approached the topic.

He sighed and another listless night passed. James was left behind late in the Common Room trying to chip away at his mountain of work with a flimsy toothpick. Rejection lay heavy in his heart and all he could do was stare at the handful of dried and awfully dead sticks that he'd brought down from upstairs. The sad remainder of his original bouquet. They lay there…mocking him…

He wanted to tell them off, throw them away or better still…burn them but right now they were all the inspiration he had while he pondered over his situation with perhaps a teeny fraction of his mind working on his presentation. He looked down at his ink dotted parchment and the question scrawled along the top.

_Essay Question:_

_Does an Animagi transformation into a large animal give off or absorb Magic Energy? Explain the movement of energy in a transformation using Merlin's Laws. _

How very apt it was to his secret talent but how it needled at his bruised brain for the necessary intellect to answer the question! He reread it again and then twice more.

_Sweet Merlin, pity my poor soul!_

With a bit more thought he began to devise a broken down version of his answer. He needed to write down which he thought happened and to offer proof.

Magic Energy, otherwise known as Entropy (although in a slightly different context to the entropy Muggles were familiar with) is either released or absorbed depending on the particular spell…His head began to throb and he stared at it some more.

The more he looked at it the more he was convinced that this was a bitch of a question, one that he would gladly overlook on the exam paper but when it was set as presentation he hardly had a choice. To make it worse the damn thing was due the next day!

A mixture of Lily's rejection and the essay pulsed his tired brain until at last the two mingled into one. The problem was that Lily didn't seem to take him seriously. The only thing that she consistently took seriously throughout the years was her study…stupid essay…stupid presentation…Lily and presentation…

With a faint "_ah"_ James put his quill to parchment and began to write furiously.

---

The next day, to no one's surprise he was made to give his presentation first. It seemed that being a Head Boy did have its own disadvantages and being used to set and example was one of them. Although today it didn't quite matter as much because he was just itching to get started. It was a bizarre feeling, he'd put much thought into this but at the same time he hadn't really considered the consequences, and all he knew was that Lily was listening to him and it was the one situation where she could not laugh it off so easily.

At the front of the room he leant casually against McGonangall's desk. "The first thing to consider when questioning whether an Animagi transformation requires an input of Magic Energy or if it is already charged sufficiently to release it, is how the mass of the subject is changing with respect to time. So we need to know the amount of will/effort or otherwise known as _work_ that is travelling into the subject and out, i.e. how much force is trafficking in and out. Confused?"

He received a few nods from his classmates and one from McGonagall who understood it perfectly and was merely offering encouragement.

"Okay, I've got an analogy to make things a little simpler or more confusing depending. Are you all familiar with the Muggle's concept of Fire right? Remember that they only have one type, it's nothing like ours and usually only burns one colour and to make it burn brighter they have to add stuff like oil." He received a general murmur of consent but he offered a few sentences as explanation anyway. At this point McGonagall's keen nose twitched and she sensed something fishy with James' presentation.

"Right, now that we are all clear on the concept of fire this is the analogy. A fire, say a campfire will represent the subject, the body of the wizard if you will. Since we need to know how much energy travels in and out of the body i.e. the fire we can safely pretend that the energy is represented by oil. Now, how much oil will leak back out of the fire?"

Only Muggle born students raised their hands and James randomly picked one. "Uh…none?"

James snapped his fingers. "That's right! None! So once energy, our oil enters the body they stay put! So that leaves us with how much oil, theoretically speaking enters the fire. Let's face, there are a lot of people out there who use up natural resources without a thought with only a few tying themselves to trees etc." A few Muggle born students laughed including Lily. "So we can assume that a considerable amount goes to the fire. This also applies to an Animagi transformation: most but not all Magical Energy will go into the subject with none coming back out again.

"There is only one more thing to take into consideration and that is the rate at which the oil enters the fire. With the amount of Muggles have to use a daily basis because they have no magic we can expect it to be exponentially high. SO this means a lot of energy is shooting into the subject upon casting the spell.

"Now lets look at the rate of change in the volume of the subject. We need to bring in Merlin's Third Law: In order for the temperature and pressure in a person to stay the same thus avoiding a nasty explosion if the Animagus Spell goes wrong, the volume of the person has expand proportionally to the addition of Energy. By the way, this is assuming that the person is transforming into an animal bigger than himself. Changing into smaller animals is a different matter altogether.

"Anyway back to our analogy, one of two things can happen.

If the fire expands at a slower rate than souls entering then the temperature and pressure will increase and the subject goes _pop_! And all Hell breaks loose and we have a raging fire in our hands!

If the fire expands faster than the rate of oil added then the temperature and pressure drops and all goes well for the subject. More importantly to me _the fire freezes _because of the temperature drops and taa daa! Magical fire! Our fire that merely tickles!

"This answers our question nicely! According to Dear old Merlin, for a successful transformation to take place the temperature and pressure inside the person must drop, therefore Magic Energy must be _entering_ the body! It _absorbs_ Magic Energy. _The fire freezes _which bears a very significant point to me personally"

Everyone stared back at him some with their mouths open. Some were impressed, some confused and a few were still processing things that he had said. All of them in some form or another had a vague idea or at least knew the answer even if they didn't understand the theory too well.

McGonagall cleared her throat. James' presentation of his essay was given in a slightly unorthodox manner but the theory behind it all was entirely correct. "James, your presentation has been…interesting, but why does the transformation absorbing Energy have a significant personal effect on you?"

"It doesn't. I mean the fact that in terms of magic and the analogy, my fire has frozen over and _that _has a great personal effect on me."

The Professor gave him a look that clearly said that she thought he'd lost it. James only grinned.

"I remember a certain something that a beautiful red headed girl once said to me before she knew magical fire existed. 'Fire will burn cold before I marry you James Potter!'" He laughed a little at the memory of her shouting that across the hall at him when he proposed in their First Year. That time he had been messing about this time he wasn't. However even way back then he'd been rather concerned that Lily had been extremely offended by the proposal. To a certain extent he was a little bit relieved that her rejections nowadays were a lot less hurtful and a lot more civil.

Now that he had Lily's full attention the next part he addressed directly to her. "Lily, will you marry me?"

As one, every last person in the room turned to gawk at Lily with wide eyes and mouths open.

Lily's jaw also dropped and James pranced at the opportunity to make use of her speechlessness. "I am not messing around. I really do mean it." He declared. "Over the two weeks I think that I have felt more than I have ever felt in my whole life combined…" Whatever he had planned next died in his throat as Lily stood up and silently left the classroom, her eyes resolutely glued to the floor at her feet.

James stood frozen on the spot. If at all possible he felt like a part of him had died when she walked out without even a response.

---

**A/N**: Click the little review button pretty plz and tell me what you think.


	67. As It Should Be

**A/N:** Love you all as always!

**AS IT SHOULD BE**

James stood frozen on the spot. If at all possible he felt like a part of him died when she walked out without even a response.

He faced the rest of the class, gazing out over the rows of desks and seated students but seeing none of them. Had he been anyone else the hot gawking would have brought a sense of mortification but James simply stood there feeling…nothing. What are you supposed to feel when nothing really matters any more? What are you supposed to say?

"Excuse me." He offered politely and left leaving a gaping absence at the front of the classroom. Within five strides he reached the door and a second later he was gone.

The instant the door closed the class exploded into an excited uproar that even McGonagall hadn't a hope in the world in stopping. Furiously tapping her wand she resumed her space at the front.

"Public humiliation." Peter said excitedly, wanting to be the first to comment on the rather eventful Transfiguration class. "That was a complete Wronski Feint if I'd ever seen one!" he went on to quip. Wordplay did not often fall his way and he thought that this one was a particularly good one.

Sirius on the other hand did not find it witty at all. "Shut up!" He snapped. As a member of the male gender who witnessed it, even he felt his ego bruise but as a friend he was worried for James. He'd never seen James so…well…rejected. Metaphorically speaking it was the ultimate slap in the face and boy, this was a very big slap. "What is wrong with you, you stupid girl?" He growled under his breath. Girls could be such a nuisance whenever they're not too busy looking all cute and pretty. James and Lily were perfect for each other, even an emotional dolt like him could see it as clear as day; at first their 'games' were amusing but now they were just outright annoying. For some strange reason Rosie came to mind and Sirius smiled nastily for no reason. She was annoying too but Lily seemed to listen to her-

"SILENCE!" McGonagall roared her voice magnified to deafening proportions by her wand. Everyone fell quiet at once. "Sirius, get up here and give your presentation." She said peevishly after she ascertained that the silence would last.

In one fluid motion Sirius stood, naturally drawing attention to himself like moths to a flame. "I would love to," he started, pitching just the right amount of sincerity into his voice, "but unfortunately, I ate- I mean my _dog_ ate my homework…"

Forty-five minutes later class ended and Sirius exited the classroom ahead of everyone else. He had a couple extra detentions to his name but that was to be expected. Sure he cared about getting the grades to be an Auror but he also cared very much for his sleep. Only Sirius could ever get away with what was an apparent half assed attempt of an excuse for not handing in work, but then he _was_ one of the few able to withstand McGonagall's formidable wrath.

He ambled along with his robe slung over his shoulder. His tie hung loosely around the collar of his creased shirt but he didn't care, nor did anyone else it seemed because just as many people stared his way as when he was as polished as a brand new Sickle. As usual, Sirius took no notice of them whatsoever to the point of ignoring the clique of girls that had suddenly picked up like a shadow. When he stopped outside of the Slytherin portrait he threw his bag down and proceeded to wait. Five minutes later an ideal candidate promptly appeared.

"Please be a _Dear_ and get Amiral out here." He said sweetly…to _Snape_. Animosity fired from under his sickly sugared tone and the Slytherin visibly bristled. Sirius only smiled, he was not one to forgive or forget easily; one day he would get him back.

Snape looked aghast. "I am not here to perform menial tasks for dogs." He spat and stalked up to the portrait uttering the password.

Black grinned. "So the password is Snakebite. How imaginative." He said sarcastically to Snape's retreating back. The portrait slammed close and the painted figure clapped his hands over his ears before resuming his sour scowl at the Gryffindor.

"Tch! Don't give me that face." Sirius told the pasty faced picture and crossed his arms to wait for the next Slytherin. He did not have long to wait when some third year girls approached. The trio spotted him straight away and edged cautiously to their common room.

Sirius flashed them a charming smile. "Hello there, ladies!"

They hesitated, not quite sure what to make of him. Interacting with Gryffindors was considered as a no-no among the members of their house and intermingling with Sirius was nothing short of traitorous.

"What is it that you want?" The taller out of the three demanded. Her name was Matilda something or another, he didn't know.

Unperturbed, Sirius opened his arms in a gesture to show that he meant no harm. "There are many things that I want my dear, care to spend some time with me to find out?"

She blushed immediately and the other two girls giggled. Sirius had learnt long ago that it didn't take much to disarm even the fiercest of girls. Sure, each was different but they all had their weaknesses in the end, _even_ Amiral.

"It'll be a date." He promised without so much as a thought. "Now, I was wondering which of you would like to help me out."

"To do what?" Matilda asked her cheeks still pink.

"You see, I need to speak to Amiral."

"Oh."

"And I would really appreciate it if you asked her to come out. It'll only be brief." He said, again pitching just the right tone. "And don't worry, no harm will come to her, I promise." Sirius raised three fingers to the sky like a scout might but he wasn't quite sure what gesture they held so he finished it with a random salute. He didn't have a clue how faithful it was to the Scout's Honor but these Slytherin girls sure as hell wouldn't know; it was after all a Muggle thing.

The girls exchanged looks before slowly agreeing. If anything they would be messengers, not betrayers to Slytherin. They could say no but what if Rose _wanted _to see him? Nothing was worse than the vengeance of a seventh year girl and Matilda did not want the rest of the year to be a nightmare. "We can't guarantee that she'll come out though."

"That is fine, as long as you try your best. Snakebite" He said and graciously opened the portrait for them although he could not enter himself. They disappeared but Matilda reappeared shortly.

"I'm sorry but she says no." She said apologetically noting what she imagined was disappointment on Sirius' face.

In reality Sirius was far from disappointed. He knew for a fact that she would refuse but being the gentleman that he was, he thought it would be nice to give her the choice before _forcing_ her to come out. "Yes I know, she probably called me quite a few exotic things too."

The girl didn't exactly nod but Sirius knew that he was right. "In that case, I guess that leaves me no choice but to recite love poetry in her honor until she decides that she must simply see me." He shouted loudly through the open portrait.

"My Love, mine heart beats for you! Like whistles-" He started as loudly and as obnoxiously as he could.

As he predicted Rosie came stomping out before he could even finish the second line. She swept her murderous eyes over the group of giggling girls nearby and then settled on boring a hole through Sirius' skull with them. "What are you and those blathering idiots doing outside of my common room?" She demanded.

"Why, I'm only just trying to do as the Sorting Hat instructs and unify the Houses." He said while his hand found its way onto her shoulder just to annoy her. "You see over there we have an assortment of Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, a few Gryffindors. Over here we have a Gryffindor and now we also have a Slytherin." He gave her a pat and she threw his arm off while turning an angry red. Sirius couldn't help but laugh, he knew that he shouldn't be taking the piss but she was too easy and he loved to wind her up.

"What do you want Black?" she hissed.

"Well, Amiral. You see, there is this situation…" With minimal detail he outlined the latest on James and Lily.

Rosie listened reluctantly but the like of Black never gave up unless he got what he wanted. "So, the bottom line is, you want me to do you a favor?" She asked with a raised eyebrow afterwards.

"Not a favor exactly. She's your friend too."

"But all the same you want me to speak to her?" she insisted smugly. "I hope you remember that you still owe me a favor from last time?"

With thought Sirius recalled Rosie's help in obtaining the three pearls for the _Protectus_ spell. Thinking of which, where did she get them? "I owe you a kiss, not a favor." He corrected.

"A favor."

"A kiss."

"A favor!" She declared hotly.

A sly smile spread on Sirius. "What kinda _favor_ did you have in mind?"

Rosie looked like she was about to slap him but apparently decided that it wasn't worth the effort or maybe she just didn't want to get mobbed by an army of upset girls afterwards.

"See, I told you it was a kiss." He said triumphantly and she scowled at him, wanting to slap the smile off.

"You can keep your kisses. And no can do. I can't make Lily marry James, you think too highly of me if you think I can do that."

"Now that's not the type of positive thinking that we need-"

"Don't you ever mind your own business?" She snapped in exasperation.

Sirius shrugged carelessly and began to walk off, already tuning her out. "Oh well, can't hex a guy for trying."

---

James strolled about the corridors with his hands deep in his pockets. With his brows drawn together he looked serious and even pensive as he meandered around groups of students. He greeted people he knew with genial hellos as he usual and offered appropriate smiles but unfortunately he was far from normal. It was like he existed in a sub-reality and he was on autopilot with no idea of how to take control again.

As far as he knew he was calm or at least it resembled calm…what the heck? He was one stop short of freaking out! He just wasn't sure how to express it right now. He needed to calm down, to sort his thoughts out and maybe come up with a plan of how to unscrew everything that he somehow managed to fantastically screw up.

First things first, he needed to find Lily. With a start he realized that this could be the beginning of a very long rest-of-his-life that revolved around Lily. Even as an eleven-year old boy Lily played a central part of his life and now more than ever he knew that she _was_ his life. Letting her walk away was not an option. She loved him and he knew it. He knew it as surely as he knew how much she meant to him. By Merlin's beard he would dearly love to hear her say it to him but he would never get the chance if he scared her off with marriage!

With a feverish absolution he began to search for Lily.

---

Lily cuddled her legs together and leaned her chin on her knees feeling thoroughly miserable.

"Lily Evans, what is wrong with you?" she grumbled aloud. "You're such a chicken! I can't believe you ran! What in the world would he think?" Scolding herself did little to ease her frustration but what else could she do?

"Okay, so he's serious, he wants to get married…oh-my-eeeeeee!" Lily rolled onto her back and then onto her side, squealing into her arms. "He wants to marry me! That can't be right…what is he thinking?" She kicked out her legs feeling oddly squeamish inside.

She pictured James leaning against the desk exactly the way he did that morning. There was something about seeing him stand up there, something that immediately held her in awe of him. It was a steady confidence that he projected; it spoke out in silent volumes touching everyone. It made them want to listen to him, want believe and want to watch him out of fascination. Lily was entranced.

Sitting there, three rows from the front she was slowly absorbing details about him. The way he automatically ran a hand through his hair making it stick up even more, his shirt only half tucked in, the little nick just below his jaw where he cut himself shaving. It was almost scarily obsessive but at the same time she simply couldn't help it.

It was him…_because of him_…

Lily could not believe how he had single handedly changed her into one of those flappy, smitten girls she used laugh at. She never understood how it was possible for a perfectly normal girl to turn all giggly and _helplessly_ besotted by a guy. In retrospect she owed Petunia an apology if they ever spoke or indeed saw each other ever again. Once she had made fun of her over her infatuation over Vernon and her sister had angrily snapped: "Just you wait until you fall in love and then you will understand!"

Lily clapped a hand to her forehead. "I'm in love." She cried and covered her face. She hated this about herself, things happened and it seemed like she caught up always a little bit late. "And I ran off…" She just wanted to curl into a ball and hide.

Two weeks. He'd spent _two weeks_ proposing to her, repeatedly. She honestly did think that he was playing. The matter was just so_ serious_ and beyond her imagination that she hadn't thought of it as anything else until now…

Unconsciously she might have known that he was up to something because she'd sat up straighter, heart beating just a little faster than normal. Maybe it was the way he looked at her during breakfast? The way his fingers twirled and lingered on her hair just that little bit longer or that half smile that made his eyes shine mischievously? Whatever it was, there had been something different about him even before the lesson.

She sat up straight. "But is it possible? Me married to James…Mrs. Potter…" Lily scrunched her nose up. "Ick." No matter how she thought about it the title Mrs. Potter will always belong to his mother but…Mrs. Lily Evans Potter, now that was different!

"I'm going crazy, for goodness sake I'm talking to myself!" Lily jumped at the sound of something that sounded strangely like a snort but when she looked around she found that she was quite alone. "Crazy." She repeated before someone knocked softly on the door.

Before it opened she already knew that it could only be one person.

"You cheated. You shouldn't have use the map." She said to him from where she sat by in the middle of the floor in the astronomy tower.

James shook his head. If only he had thought of that damn map, it would have saved him a lot of time and he admitted to her as much but all she responded with was a quiet "Oh."

He approached her cautiously. "Hi."

"Hi."

James cleared his throat uncertainly. "I uh…I guess I've been a bit of a git haven't I? I really didn't mean to humiliate you in front of everyone by putting you on the spot…I just wanted you to listen."

Lily fiddled with the ends of her hair desperately wondering what she should say. An apology began to form on her lips-

Without a single answer or any kind of input from her he sighed, preparing for the worse. "I understand if you hate me and never want to see me again." As much as he hated to go he began to back off.

To his surprise Lily scrabbled to her feet. "James! Hey wait! Get back here!" He was only too happy to oblige and he returned to her side.

"You must know by now that I don't hate you!" Lily said earnestly. In truth in the space of a few hours she was already missing him.

"I do… but it's fairly hard not to lose confidence when you don't say anything like that." That was the problem with women or more specifically Lily; he never quite knew what she was thinking.

"I'm sorry that I…I bolted like that. I panicked! I just needed to think through some issues of mine."

"You don't have any issues." If Lily wanted to see issues she should look at any one of the Marauders. Sirius had some seriously messed up family, Remus was a werewolf, Peter…he collected bottle caps? And as for him…he was so lovesick it just wasn't right…

"Even Rosie can see that I have issues."

He feigned thoughtfulness. "In that case they're minor."

"I feel that they are big."

"How big?"

Lily opened her arms out wide. "Bigger than that." James had to smile at that and Lily gave a small smile in return but it quickly faded as she drew the conversation back on track.

"About today, I wasn't humiliated at all. Just caught in the headlights. I'm flattered really! And oddly impressed that you managed to stick me in an essay… by the way I didn't quite get quite get all of the theory behind the Animagi transformations, I feel bad about it because you put so much effort into it..." Lily cringed. She never knew herself to be so completely inarticulate; not only is she expressing herself badly, she sounded like she was more concerned about the stupid theory than his proposal and that was far from the truth.

James shrugged. "Don't feel bad. The theory handbook that we used to learn the charm was five inches thick and it took us the better part of all our time here just to read it let alone get our heads around. Trying to fit it into a fifteen-minute presentation was stupid anyway. I mean, what's one lesson compared to a couple years of obsessed study? But that's another story."

Lily nodded sadly knowing that he was waiting for her to explain some of the things she pondered over but wouldn't push her for it. She took a deep breath and summoned all of her conscious effort into what she hoped would be a faithful translation of what flew in her brain to words. "I don't for once question your sincerity but I always wonder if you know what it is that you are getting yourself into. I'm not sure I'm who you think I am."

"I don't understand. What do you mean? You're Lily-" She stared at him. He meant a lot to her, there was no denying that. If she needed proof she need only recall the split second when she was convinced that he was lost to her.

"I can't help but feel that you've formed an idealized image of me somehow. But the thing is, the real me is nothing like the girl you think you see. I'm as imperfect as they come…"

"But I'm not looking for perfection!" James knew he was lying through his teeth but somehow he knew that telling her that she was already every inch of perfection to him would be received in the wrong way.

Lily continued to plod on with her typical stubbornness. "Then how can you be so stupid and choose something that isn't perfect?" In her eyes James deserved nothing short of the perfect girl. There were so many out there and why chose her over them?

His eyes widened. "Because you're the one I _love_?" He said, unable to hide the _'obviously''_ tone fully.

Temporarily stunned it took a moment for her to gather her scattered thoughts before she could continue. "How can you be so certain that I am the one for you? There's so much you don't know about me and me about you! I talk in my sleep, I over react a lot of the time, I'm picky, I'm so many weird things that you would have never imagined!"

_Picky_? _Then pick me! Pick me!_ James wanted to scream, instead he said, "I'm glad you're so many things! Because I'm more than willing to spend the rest of my life finding them out if you would just let me!"

Lily felt her face crumple but thankfully she didn't cry. Things always got hard for her whenever James said things like that; to him they were just words but for her, every one of them struck deep in her heart.

"I know me proposing seems kind of random and out of the blue to you but it's definitely not. We've known each other for a very long time but haven't dated for too long; we haven't been together nor know anything or spent much time together outside of school. I'm aware of all this but I learnt something very important that night." He wasn't even looking at her anymore as he struggled to put his feeling to words. "That night…when I was stuck in the cage and I knew something would happen to you…I…lost it completely. I thought I was going to go crazy and when I got out and Sirius thought that you were dead…"

"James…"

"At that instant when I thought that you might be dead…everything fell apart and I didn't know what to do. All I knew was that I couldn't…lose you." He looked at her then, his dark eyes penetrating right through her, seeing everything that was Lily Evans.

"James…" Lily didn't know what to say.

He fished in his pocket and brought out a small velvet box. A ring box. "I wanted to offer this earlier but it didn't arrive until today." His gaze dropped to the box and he took a moment to brace himself. Very slowly he lowered himself onto one knee and held the box to her. "I've always known that I wanted to spend my life with you but now I also know that I can't live without you. Lily, please…will you marry me?" The word _please_, so sweetly it slid from his lips.

Lily was lost in the depth of his sincere eyes. When she looked at James she saw everything that she had ever wanted and now everything was within her grasp.

He stayed on his knee and she stood above him. They remained like that for perhaps a few minutes but neither noticed.

All of a sudden Lily moved forwards and dug all ten of her fingers into the soft thickness of his full hair making all of it stand up on end.

For a split second James feared she was going to knee him but that worry and every last coherent strain of thought was hurled out of the window when she leant over and kissed him hard. It was deeper than anything they had ever shared, more possessive than they could have imagined and it consumed them both.

It took James' breath away and scared Lily that she could ever be so daring. It seemed that whenever it concerned James all rules were broken. She had once sworn her hate for him yet it was she who initiated their first kiss and now it was she again who was taking him into her arms. Lily of all people!

Only when it occurred to her that this awkward positioning could potentially snap his neck did she release him from her fierce kiss. With a gasp she sucked in a deep breath of air and went very red. James automatically flexed his neck, which had been pushed right back so that he could meet her mouth vertically.

"Is that a yes?" He barely dared to ask. When Lily nodded he thought he might explode. His reaction was spectacular on the inside but all he could handle outwardly was to pull Lily into a bone-crushing hug. He couldn't even make himself get up. He pressed his face into her stomach. He was thankful, happy, content, amazed and everything else possible.

From a hidden window three animals were behaving more like spectators than protectors. "Finally!" Chewy whispered. "Things are as they should be!"

"They will be if you get your bloody foot out of my face!" Nutmeg complained.

"Love warms every heart." Tatty said wistfully.

"Yeah, over my two week old furry hairballs!" Nutmeg grunted but watched on, her eyes glowing dimly in the dark.

Oblivious to their audience Lily hugged him as best as she could while standing up for she couldn't move. "James, you're such a huge idiot…but _I love you_…so damn much!"

And James said…well, he couldn't say anything because he was at lost for words and that was because _Lily Evans loved James Potter_.

**A/N**: The next chapter is: OH. Get clicking!


	68. Changes

**A/N:** I've changed my mind on the title of this chapter.

**---**

**CHANGES**

Lily lay awake on her bed. A shaft of light from the window filtered in through a gap on her bed curtains. When she held her hand up the moonlight hit the ring on her finger in such a spectacular way that she was mesmerized.

If it weren't for this ring she would have never known that like most girls she could turn into jelly at the sight of such an amazing diamond. She turned onto her stomach still inspecting the ring.

_He has good taste._

She thought with a girlish giggle. Two marginally smaller ones flanked the centerpiece of a diamond and the three were set in an intricate band of white gold that twisted and twirled into a ring. She quietly giggled some more as she thought back to James' expression of awe and pure surprise when she had nodded. The kiss resurfaced next and she could feel her cheeks grow hot even in the dark and she buried herself into her pillow feeling happily squeamish inside.

With these happy thoughts she finally drifted to a contented sleep.

---

The next day Lily arrived to breakfast late having woken up to an already empty dorm. James was flicking through the paper while everyone ate around him. She glided into the seat beside him still unable to shake off the dream-like state that had arrested her from the night before.

"Morning!" She chirped happily. She received a few grunts from the Marauders with the exception of James who grinned at her widely. "What are you reading?" She asked peering over his paper

"Looking for somewhere to live after graduation." He held the brightly colored page open to her. "What do you prefer? Apartment or house?"

"Hmmm…" Lily very nearly wondered aloud why her preference mattered but the obvious quickly saved her. "Oh…"

_Yes, Lily. 'Oh.'_

Her sarcastic self commented. After graduation she had no home to go to and now that she had accepted James' proposal…well it would only be natural that they would live together. That brought another type of 'oh' to Lily's mind. Why on earth had something as important as that not occurred to her until now? Suddenly nervous she tugged at a bit of her hair.

Sirius was in the middle of an eye-watering yawn when he choked on air at the sight of her hand, more specifically the exposed ring on her finger.

"Dear Merlin and his beard! Prongs! What got into you?" He demanded loud enough for everyone to turn in their direction with interest. "If Lily falls into the lake with that rock she's gonna drown! Not to mention that the giant squid plus all the mermaids will be insanely jealous!" He announced referring to her ring. He reached over to hold her hand up for all to see while pretending to inspect it. Light reflected off it dangerously drawing even more attention. "Interesting finger to have it on dear Lily!" He added.

People began fluttering over with excitement and Lily snatched her hand back with something like bewilderment settling in as a crowd of thrilled girls closed in. James was giving Sirius the evil eye and his friend responded with a clear 'so what?' look.

"I take it all is well." Remus asked mildly.

"All _was_ well." James grimaced as Sirius jumped to his feet and began flagging as many people over as he could.

"Congratulations mate!" Remus slapped James on the back hard. "Everything has finally fallen into place!" He smiled broadly at Lily and leaned over the table. "Don't worry, you've made a fine choice!" he whispered but pulled away quickly as one of the Gryffindor girls squealed at an alarming octave and dove at Lily.

James was quickly shoved aside by an army of girls. Even Peter, Sirius and Remus were shoved well out of the way and had to shuffle quite a way down the table. James would have tried fetching Lily but the wall of girls that appeared in front of him was rather scary.

"OH MY GOSH! LEMME SEE! THAT RING IS HUGE! DOES THAT MEAN THAT IT'S TRUE? DID JAMES REALLY PROPOSE?"

"HOW DID HE DO IT? WHAT DID HE SAY?"

"DID HE REALLY PROPOSE IN CLASS IN FRONT OF EVERYONE?"

Too much was happening in one go. Lily turned left then right, back and then forwards as everyone tried to talk to her and ask questions all at once. She swore that she even heard someone ask what her answer was but she was thankfully saved from answering.

"DUH! THE RING IS ON HER FINGER WHAT DO YOU THINK?"

"WHEN'S THE WEDDING?"

"CAN I BE YOUR BRIDE'S MAID?"

Lily's ears began to hurt. "Ask HIM!" She stuck her hand in the air and waved it in his direction. James wanted to cower behind the paper but luckily for him, none of the girls even gave him a second glance. They all wanted the first hand account from the young bride-to-be.

Only towards the end of breakfast time did the crowd thin out and the guys dared to return. By this time Lily was in a state of mild shock. "That was really, really, really scary."

James nodded in agreement hoping that she hadn't spotted him hide behind the paper.

She pulled off the ring. "Here! You wear it!"

James looked horrified. He proposed yesterday and now she was already returning the ring to him?

"Put it back on." A cool female voice came from behind. Lily and James swiveled to find Rosie standing there arms half crossed with a small smile. A voluntary smile from her was so rare that Lily wordlessly slid the ring back on. "It must have taken a lot to make you put it on in the first place and I know that you wouldn't like to see it come off so easily." She said.

James almost applauded her. It _did_ take an awful lot to get her to put the ring on and he hoped that she was right and it wouldn't come off too easily. "Congratulations on your engagement." She said evenly.

Lily's jaw dropped as realization hit her like a stunner. "Bloody hell! You're absolutely right! I'm engaged now!" She had been so caught up with the proposal that any thoughts for the implications hadn't quite sunk in yet, hence the 'oh' over the house preference earlier on.

Sirius sniggered. "I see that you did a wonderful job there, Prongs! The girl didn't even know that she was engaged!" James blushed uncharacteristically and Lily realizing her faux pas jumped back in to correct it.

"That's not what I meant! I know I'm engaged but I just didn't know _know_. And now I do, well kinda, but I'm getting used to the idea…" She stuttered. Sirius had one eyebrow raised to her nonsensical sentence and she decided to give up on explaining her rather complicated and confused feelings. More to the matter, James looked like he might have a cardiac arrest if she continued. "Just shut up, Sirius."

Sirius gave her wide eye wonder. "Oh my! Jumping to his defense already?"

"Shut up!" James and Lily said in unison.

Sirius stared back at them mouth agape. "That's just scary." He made an elaborate show of shuddering. "The next thing will be matching robes, just you wa-"

"POTTER! BLACK!" McGonagall barked from behind.

"AYHH- " The whole row of students jumped and someone quickly stifled a surprised yelp by clearing their throat. Even Rosie stood a little straighter; she took pride in being a girl that never let her imagination run wild before her but she swore that she could see hot air escape from the Deputy Head's flared nostrils. Were it not for her pressed robes and polished exterior she would have passed very well for a deranged Hippogriff.

James and Potter swiveled to meet McGonagall's glare and wordlessly pointed at each other in a mutual 'whatever it was, it was his fault!'

Lily saw this and covered her smile with a hand; already she was sorting through possible scenarios and contemplating how best to get them away with as light of a punishment as possible. In the past she might have crossed her arms with satisfaction that the Marauders were getting their comeuppance but now it seemed that they had won her over completely.

She nudged Remus lightly. "What did they do this time?" she mouthed to him. He gave a little shrug and continued to sip his coffee for he had seen it many times.

"There's no need for pointing fingers." The Professor said briskly the two. "When things go awry it usually happens that you are _all_ responsible."

Remus coughed into his coffee before clearing his throat carefully. It seemed that 'all' definitely included him too even if she did not bark out his name.

Sirius appeared to be put out by all sorts. '_Awry_' He was expecting something more like 'catastrophic' although 'disastrous' would have been okay. Anyhow, it looked like he had to step it up if he was to leave a permanent mark on good old Hoggy Warts history and perhaps a big fat splotch on McGonagall's sanity. Maybe he should set Snape's greasy hair alight? It wouldn't be too hard and it would be rather amusing even if it did get him drop kicked out of the school. Nah that would suck, he decided. Getting kicked out of anywhere because of Snape was not worth it. His entertaining trail of imagination ground to a stop leaving him with wistful ideas.

McGonagall glared at them somewhat dismayed that their previously rapt attention was already failing. James was scratching his head absent-mindedly and she could already see Sirius' attention drifting off. With a sigh she wondered if there would ever be anything that got through to her most troublesome pair of students. It was suddenly overwhelming that these young men were no longer the boys she once had under he care no matter how she treated them. There was no doubt that they were more than ready to leave the school and embark on the rest of their lives, no doubt terrorizing the rest of the wizarding world with their mischievous ways while they were at it.

McGonagall unconsciously touched her throat as she often did when James and Sirius were the topic of a matter. It was something developed reflexively perhaps to stop herself from throttling them. At times you could say that they were the bane of existence but now she was oddly proud of them especially with the news she had for them.

"You've both applied to train as Aurors?" It wasn't a question really since she was the one who wrote their references and corrected their personal statements in the application process. She thought guiltily to her quill hovering over the parchment while she pondered what and more specifically, _how much_ to write about them. It wasn't as if she had lied in the references; the pair were remarkably skilled wizards with plenty of wits to throw about, maybe a little too much giving them a troublesome edge at being roguish but just because she happened to omit that fine detail in the reference it didn't mean that she was lying. Sure the pair could be a handful but they were damn good wizards and she would rather lose her teaching credentials than see the Ministry lose out on recruiting talent such as theirs.

"Have you got good news?" Lily asked anxiously although James and Sirius continued to look as untroubled as ever.

McGonagall allowed a small smile. "Indeed. Both Mr. Potter and Mr. Black have passed the initial sorting and will soon have to prepare for interviews." She also gave Rosie a small nod to tell her that she too had passed although no one save Rosie saw it.

James and Sirius exchanged one look before giving each other a celebratory palm slap. "Excellent!" They chimed.

"However-"

"Ah, here we go. There's the 'however, if you wanna join us you've gotta strip naked and do a monkey dance or something'." Sirius sighed dramatically. "The things we do to get into the ministry…"

"However," McGonagall continued more forcefully. "Hogwarts will shortly be receiving a guest who will be examining candidates."

"As part of the selection process? I don't think that they've ever done that before." Lily noted surprising McGonagall somewhat. If there was anything that she relied on, it was James and Sirius' extremely laid back attitude to almost everything. She hadn't been expecting questions on the arrangement and given the circumstances she thought it was best that the students thought it was part of the standard Auror selecting protocol.

"Nevertheless, I want you two to treat our guest with utmost respect as you may find out soon enough that he has very little patience for games and tricks." She warned.

Sirius snorted. "Sounds like a boring old fart."

"Dare you say that to his face then I'm quite sure you will be given an appropriate response." She said coolly. Sirius grinned, now that sounded a lot like a challenge to him, he made a mental note: _call guest an old fart and see what happens_.

"Professor, do you know who the examiner is?" Lily asked.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I do. His name is Alastor Moody. An old friend of Headmaster Dumbledore's might I add."

If possible Sirius grinned wider, if she was hoping to deter him by putting Dumbledore in his face she was quite wrong.

"Mad Eye Moody?" James said thoughtfully. "My parents talk about him all the time, best Auror the Ministry has ever known."

"Hmmm…" Lily was suddenly worried for James and Sirius. From what she'd read about the Auror Moody, he was not someone to play coy with and the twosome were all about playing coy just to see if they could get away with it. Still, she never knew that Aurors actually turned up at schools to examine candidates; it must be a new thing. "What do the candidates have to do?"

"The Headmaster has decided that this year the candidates will take over one lesson each; teaching a class of younger years any topic they may choose within the subject boundaries. The examiner will simply observe."

"Sounds straight forward enough. Will the Professors watch too?" James asked. If anything it seemed too simple. He was prepared for a hardcore interview that was both physically and mentally taxing in every way, it was no small rumor about how insanely hard it was to become an Auror. Little did he know that all of that fun was yet to come.

McGonagall shook her head. "No, it will just be the examiner. But I'm warning you two now, if anything goes wrong I will have you in detention for the rest of your natural lives."

Lily's heart sank with dismay. So many things could go wrong in so many different ways especially with those two involved.

James rubbed the back of his head. Threats were nothing new to him. "Have they allocated our subjects yet?"

"Yes, James you have to teach a lesson in Defense Against the Dark Arts and Sirius you have Transfiguration. Rose, you shall teach Charms."

Sirius chocked on air. "She's applied to be an Auror too?" he asked incredulously. Rosie sent him an acid stare and McGonagall ignored his question altogether.

"I would like to remind you Sirius, that you still owe me a presentation report." She said firmly but Sirius was already looking elsewhere. "BLACK!" She barked and he turned to look at her as if surprised that she was still standing there.

"I'm sorry, Professor." He began tragically, "It's just that I can't seem to concentrate, you know with James' engagement and all! I'm going to be Best Man you see!"

"Hey, I thought we all were!" Peter suddenly said and Sirius only winked at him. It appeared that all he wanted to do was distract McGonagall from the whole homework issue and to his surprise it seemed to work remarkably well.

Lily saw her press her thin mouth into a line while her sharp eyes slid to the exposed ring on her finger. "Congratulations." She said at last, her expression unreadable until it melted to a suppressed smile. "It brings joy to me in ways I cannot express." Her words were truly heartfelt and coming from McGonagall Lily felt that it was even more precious.

"Thank you." James said and she echoed.

McGonagall nodded and swept away leaving them to stare after her.

"She's not as cold as she makes herself out to be." James observed. Lily couldn't agree more. "But first things first, how the hell am I supposed to teach?"

"You'll be fine." Lily automatically reassured.

Sirius nodded enthusiastically. "Yea, trust me, teaching will be a doddle!"

"What are you gonna do?"

Sirius shrugged. "Oh this and that. This is a button, point my wand and now this is a beetle, and as soon as they get bored I'll start transfiguring the students. That will keep them on their toes. If you get it wrong then I'll turn you into a chair etc etc."

James chuckled. "McGonagall is gonna kill you."

"Just as well that she won't be there!"

"So that's why she shouts at us like that." James said thoughtfully. "It's like she's pre-shouting at us."

"What a waste of breath, she's only gonna do it all again afterwards!"

"She's just used to shouting at you lot." Lily said. "Heaven knows I should be shouting at you all the time too!"

---

McGonagall hurried away to the Headmaster's tower. Lily was right; it was unheard of that the Ministry would ever send a representative to examine students at the school for entry into Auror training for the simple fact that it has never happened. The test itself was real enough but the reason behind it was not.

The Headmaster has long thought that a few of his best students would be an invaluable asset to the Order. However, other members had reservations against recruiting members so young but the Order where in dire need of manpower. McGonagall herself had rather mixed opinions on the matter. She could see the necessity and was a witness herself to how resourceful the few students that the Headmaster had in mind were but the danger was great.

"A very good morning to you, Minerva." Dumbledore greeted her warmly.

"And to you, Albus."

As always the Headmaster was calm and collected and for once McGonagall felt unsettled by his air of tranquility. "I don't think it's too good of an idea anymore, Albus. The Order can look elsewhere for members." She said, as always she was straightforward and to the point.

Dumbledore raised a bushy white eyebrow in polite question.

McGonagall grimaced. "I know that you had great hopes in James and Lily…" She trailed off uncomfortably.

"Not just James and Lily, but Sirius, Remus and Rose too." He said helping her along.

"Sometimes I wonder if we are doing the right thing. They are so young."

"Age can mean very little."

"James and Lily, they're getting married." She said abruptly. "If anything were to happen, I…"

"I see." The Headmaster said quietly and a full minute passed before he spoke again. "But perhaps we may think of it another way. It may give them strength."

"How can it?"

"Getting married doesn't make hardship go away. I think that they will see that too. If anything it will give them something to protect, their happiness. We all already know the importance that it holds in each of our hearts."

"Once more if Moody agrees after meeting them then it is entirely in their own hands to choose whether to join the Order. Loyalty is only ever true if it is voluntary."

"And you have no doubt that Moody will agree, that I can see."

Dumbledore admitted as such. "Moody is precautious but he will eventually see the reasoning by which I stand by. We need the help of these young people."

McGonagall sighed with heavy resignation. Once the invitation was extended by the Order she knew that none of them would decline it. The students were a good bunch and would do what they believed was right. She knew that their loyalty to Dumbledore was as sure as her own and they would not hesitate to make a stand against Voldemort. "What happens after that? The students will undoubtedly agree to join the order. How then will you approach Lily and Remus? They have not applied to train as Aurors and that is the only excuse we have come up so far for Moody to come within contact with them without appearing too suspicious."

"I was rather hoping that once James, Sirius and Rosie join it would open a way for them. Once Moody ascertains their abilities the Order will hopefully be more open. It is all that we can do at the moment to introduce the students."

"I understand."

Dumbledore gave a little sigh too. "Minerva I agree completely with your worries. Could I have my way I would bear it all myself but I am but one wizard and there are times that we must admit that we are all in need of a helping hand."

"I know. I know, Albus." McGonagall said sadly. She only knew too well.

---

Sometime later James and Lily sat together idly chatting in front of the roaring fireplace in the Common Room. For a while both secretly thought that their small little world was perfect. Life went on as usual but it seemed like such an alien thing, something that they knew existed but was momentarily unimportant for once.

Comfortable was the word that best described them at this point. James for his part was stretched out lazily across the wide sofa with his legs propped up on the rectangular tea table. One languid arm draped loosely across Lily who was half curled against him.

This, he decided, was definitely a perfect night in. Okay, so there were screaming first years all over the room and a massive Marauder style Exploding Snap mini tournament in the corner but given his state it didn't take much to ignore them.

Lily shifted slightly and her hair brushed against his nose, tickling him enough to encourage an almighty sneeze.

"Sorry!" He said and they both shifted back into position again.

"Bless you." She said automatically.

"Why?"

"Never mind." She replied not too bothered in explaining. Instead she continued with her sketching.

"What are you drawing?" He asked pushing his chin down to look at the pad of cartridge paper that she had precariously balanced on his stomach. It was a very lazy way of drawing if he must say so himself and he was proud. Lily never did any thing lazy, that is, unless she was with him. He kinda liked being a table for Lily although he couldn't figure how she managed it. With her face leaning against his right shoulder she only held out her hand to sketch and he had to hold the pad steady over stomach so it didn't slide everywhere.

"Athistle." She murmured.

He nodded thoughtfully. "Bookle warp."

"What?"

"Precisely."

She gave a small laugh. "It's a plant used in Healing." She explained.

"Cool, just as long as it isn't a Porptule."

She smiled and continued to pencil in the graceful lines of the leaves. They fell into a comfortable quiet until James spoke again.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Why did you say yes? Not that I'm trying to make you change your mind in any way of course!" He added hastily.

"To what?"

James had to resist rolling his eyes. It can't have been that much of a life changing question if the girl could keep forgetting about it! "That." He said pointing to her ring.

"Oh! That!" Lily felt rather than saw James smile.

"Yes, that."

"Hmmm…that's easy."

"It is?" For the life of him he couldn't recall which part of it being easy.

"I figured that if I said no then lots of girls would suffer, but if I said yes than I would be the one who suffered." She answered playfully.

"I'm very impressed." He said going along with what he hoped was a joke. "Very noble of yourself to sacrifice like that for the greater good."

"Of course."

"So how come lots of girls would suffer if you said no then?"

She shifted so that she could look up at him. "Couldn't resist could you?" she teased.

"'Course not! So go on, explain."

She sighed. "Well, with your tally-"

"Hey, there weren't that many-" One look from Lily stopped him. "There weren't." He insisted regardless.

"Really? I seem to remember quite a few." She started to count names, ticking them off on her fingers as she went. "And I think these were only the ones that I noticed when I bothered to check that you were still alive. Not that it was hard when you're an irritating little toe rag day in day out."

James thought and did a mental tally of himself. She was right, there were quite a few that she'd left out but some things are best left unsaid. He decided to allow her jibe; after all it didn't take an idiot to know that the fastest way to get rid of a girl was to start talking about exes. Now that he knew what he mustn't do it was down to whether Lily would let it drop. Who was he kidding, of course she wouldn't!

"So?"

"So what?" He feigned dumb. The best thing he for him to do was pretend complete ignorance to the topic.

"How come there were so many?" She persisted.

_Oh shit. _There were many answers to such a question but most of them were probably the wrong ones. He was about to reply with 'because you didn't want to go out with me' but somehow he knew that it wasn't the right one.

"Uh…" he started, stalling for time. "Because…"

"Because?" She prompted.

_Shit._

"Uh…" He considered keeling over like he did the last time he was caught in a dead end but he had a feeling that Lily wouldn't fall for it a second time.

"Yes?"

"I…I guess I wanted to know that you were the one for me." He started awkwardly. "From the first day of school when I saw you it was like BAM! This is your life James Potter; this is the girl for you! It was just so completely sudden that even I had doubts, especially after that massive slap. Maybe at some point I'd hit my head or you'd hit me extra hard and I got it into my head that you were for me? True, I went out with other people but I realized that there was always something off. There wasn't that feeling…Yea, that feeling. How can I explain it? It's like this extra special thing that wouldn't go away even when you almost slapped my face off…" He trailed off and Lily could see him thinking hard for the right explanation.

He didn't go on to remind her how the first slap had happened but Lily remembered it well enough. As usual he had been a bit of a prat and Lily was feeling a tad sensitive that day and it ended up with a rather violent response that she admitted might have been a small overreaction. "Well, you was a bit of an arrogant piece of snot that day." She commented drawing James out of his thoughts.

"That's a lovely compliment to give to your husband." It seemed that his future wife wasn't in the least abashed about kicking the ego of her husband into the ground. In fact he suspected that she rather enjoyed it.

Lily looked quite taken aback. "Husband?" She gulped.

Having observed her reaction he let out an exaggerated sigh. "When is it ever gonna sink in?"

"Oh, quit acting like a tragic victim!" she scolded with a laugh.

He took her about the shoulders. "You, Lily Evans, are going to be the wife of James Potter and he's gonna be your husband." He stated gravely.

"With the amount of times I keep saying this I'm gonna start sounding like Sirius but _bloody hell!_"

---

**A/N:** Hope you enjoyed! It's click the review button time! The next chapter is WAND ASTRAY.


	69. Wand Astray

WAND ASTRAY

Lily muttered a curse of the non-magic kind while Cerise continued to circle the topic of discussion she initiated a good twenty minutes ago. "Getting married can't be a good idea." Her friend was saying while Lily grew increasingly uncomfortable. From across the table Yoanna gave her a worried look. Any inclination to do any work in the free period was quite forgotten.

Cerise flipped her hair over her shoulder and continued with her speech. "You see, when a guy is at a boyfriend status everything is easy."

_Not when the guy is James Potter_. Lily mused.

"But as soon as the ring goes on that's it. Your life is no longer your own and you are at the complete mercy of cruel matrimony."

As one everyone looked down to the ring on Lily's hand. Lily shook her head faintly knowing that her friend was taking some sort of sick pleasure in this.

"And that's not the worse part. Once you marry the guy you will have to deal with worst witch you will ever know in your long long long life! She will not only watch every move you make and judge you by the smallest of mistakes but to put it frankly she can make your life a living nightmare! And that's only if she like you, if she hates you…well…" Cerise gave an airy laugh. "Poor Lily." She said as if her friend was sentenced to a death penalty.

Yoanna bit her lip. "Whoever could be so awful?"

"Think about it." Cerise leaned forwards, her polish hardened nail tapping on the library table. "Who else would be obsessed and crazy about the guy and be able to have enough influence over him to inadvertently make your married life a misery if she dislikes you?"

"Uhhhh…."

Yoanna may not understand but Lily finally understood the point that Cerise was taking her time to get to and she was nothing short of horrified. "His _Mother_." She said in unison with Cerise.

Cerise nodded. "Exactly. His doting Mother."

"No!" Yoanna cried in disbelief. "James' Mother would never be horrible to Lily!"

Cerise sat back with a smile that clearly said that she disagreed. "Let's face some basic truths here, James' parents are _the_ Potters. They are big and I mean very big in the Wizarding World."

"But that doesn't mean that they are horrible people." Yoanna insisted.

"Maybe not horrible but intimidating yes." She paused and looked at Lily who had gone wide eyed and for the first time since the 'study session' she appeared to be genuinely worried, which in turned actually scared Lily because Cerise was one of those carefree people who _never_ worried. "I'm not trying to put you down or anything but pure blood families like the Potters have reputations and certain expectations. No doubt that they'd would have expected James to marry some nice maiden from another pure blood family or at least from a family with a reputation as prestigious as theirs. They'd be expecting a perfect daughter in law and we all know that there's no such thing…"

To describe Lily in one word it would be _dispirited_. Cerise wasn't from a mainstream wizarding family but she was a pure blood. She knew about these things in ways that Muggle-borns like Yoanna and she would never understand.

"Yes but that doesn't matter in the least if they like Lily! Does it? I have every bit of faith that they will!" Yoanna said with confidence. Lily gave her a small but grateful smile.

"If-"

A pile of books slammed into the table causing everyone to jump. Rosie stood in front of their table, arms on her hips. "Don't put stupid ideas into Lily's head." She said bluntly apparently having overheard a fair amount of the conversation.

Cerise appeared offended. "I was just stating the facts-"

"Planting doubts, more like."

Cerise's eyes narrowed. "Would _your_ Mother accept a Muggle born into the family?" She asked pointedly. It was no secret that the Amiral family was but a few steps behind the Black family when it came to ambitions.

"If he could prove himself yes." Rosie replied her voice hard. She may not agree with her family on most grounds but one thing that she was certain of was that they judged each person for their worth. Blood inheritance was simply a matter of pride, old fashioned thinking and occasionally a matter of nuisance to them but that wasn't to say they were any less ruthless than the Blacks, or less _extreme_ in that matter.

"If you say so." Cerise sniffed and picked up her quill on the pretense that the study session would start for real.

"I do indeed."

Cerise looked up sharply but Lily quickly intervened before the hostility could grow any more. "How comes you're here at this time?" She asked Rosie, in fact this was the first time she had ever seen Rosie in the library.

With reluctance the Slytherin broke the stare out. "I'm looking up the materials for potions to show the first years."

"I'm sure you'll do just fine with the lesson!"

Rosie nodded. "I hope."

"Speaking of which, I haven't seen the guys around lately, Lily do you know where they've been?" Yoanna asked.

Lily shrugged. "They've been busy with preparing for the lessons I think. James hasn't said much about it."

"And you haven't asked?" Cerise demanded incredulously.

Lily shook her head slowly feeling like she had done something wrong. "No?"

"You dear, have a lot to learn…" Cerise said with pity.

Rosie crossed her arms and snorted to which she responded to with a glare.

Lily could already see round two starting between the two girls and she cleared her throat. "Well, I know that whatever it is he's put plenty of thought in." A clock chimed slowly nearby. "The lesson should be starting just about now…I hope everything goes all right…"

---

"Good Morning everyone!" James chirped as he entered the loud classroom. Moody was already seated at the back, unnoticeable and half hidden. Whatever it was that everyone was talking to come to a stop and every student sat forwards waiting with an excited anticipation. Study session carried out by older years was not uncommon but an actual lesson hadn't happened before.

It was so quiet that the ringing silence was almost enough to make James nervous. He could have sworn none of the lessons he'd ever been in had been this quiet; maybe in McGonagall's first year Transfiguration when even he and Sirius had been intimidated by her stern mask.

James cleared his throat and heaved the heavy case he was carrying onto the teacher's desk and hopped up to sit beside it. "As some of you know, I'm James and I'm here to take over one Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson as part of my Auror entrance exam."

"Now, I'm not too fond of text book learning so today I thought a practical would be fun. I couldn't find any blood-sucking vampires so I've had to settle for these interesting fellows. _Philandoos Quapasoekanomonas_." He tapped the box and pronounced the name fluently as he had the name phonetically spelt out on his hand. "Don't ask me to spell that because I can't, and don't ask me to say that again because it will probably sound different." He said. "And since this stuff won't ever come up in your exams you can pretty much forget about it as soon as the hour is over."

His frankness was meet by more than few grins.

"But for the sake of this hour I've thoughtfully nicknamed them Philip. Well one of them is Philip anyway, the rest are Philip No.1, Philip No.2 etc etc." This merited some laughs and more grins as the class slowly relaxed once they knew what kind of lesson they were in for.

James unclipped the lid of the box and made a gap big enough for one of its occupants to escape. With a careless flick of his wand he closed all the windows and doors to stop it from escaping. The people sitting at the back actually stood up to get a better look at the box. Wide eyed the first years stared as a wrinkly purple arm emerged and gripped the side of the box before jumping out a second later.

The class gasped in unison and James quickly closed the lid. The Philip flew up and hovered, it's grayish leathery wings flapping up and down rhythmically to hold it steady. It looked like a little flying purple troll complete with a warty potbelly. Its flat and wide nose sniffed the air in loud breaths. It had long elongated ears each with a tuft of white fur that twitched at the slightest of sounds. It gave the class a watery eyed expression of sadness that seemed to take away some of its ugliness.

"Aww, he's so cute!" a girl sitting at the end of a row in the middle exclaimed.

James' eyebrow shot up. _Cute_? He would have thought it would have taken a lot of persuasion to call something like that cute. "I guess you could call it that uh…" he was going to call her by her name but he realized that he only knew her by face because she was a little sister of a girl he had dated last year.

"Saff." She offered.

"Hi, Saff. Are you sitting too far? You can come up closer to have a look at him if you like." She shook her head and went red.

"Right, to stop these little well uh…things, if you ever come across one the first thing you need to knock them out. Once they're out cold they're no problem. So you could stun them with a spell, or if you're crap at stunning then you could throw them at the wall or kick them depending on what you find more convenient at the time…or amusing." Again the students swapped looks and some grinned broadly.

However a girl with pigtails in the first row gasped. "But that's cruel!"

"No, no! Well it is yes, but no!" James said feeling the need to quickly explain, "They're not real creatures. They're just curses that have been given a form. A thing made by a dark wizard to perform his malice if you would prefer. Well then again I guess you don't have to be a dark wizard to make one, you just need to know how to." James was unsure if she or anyone had understood his ramblings but in the least she didn't appear to be affronted anymore. "So no magical being abuse here." He added just in case. He could almost see a flying memo stamped with his name plus a colorful complaint about magical animal abuse making its merry way to the right department in the Ministry of Magic Headquarters.

"Anyway, these Philips are a nasty bit of curse work although these I must say are a bit mild compared to what you might come across in real life." He tapped the top of the box but a boy sitting near the back caught his eye because he had his hand in the air.

"Yea?"

"So where did you get them from? Did you have to get some real Dark Wizard to make them?" he asked eyeing the box that shook every now and again.

James laughed. "Hell no! Probably would have been easier. Nope, these ones were courtesy to some friends and myself. But that doesn't mean we're dark wizards! No, we just got together and gathered some nasty thoughts and with the right spell voila!" The Marauders had tried everything to get the spell to work. Eventually it seemed that only the deepest loathing towards Snape from Sirius, the most scarring disdain for inequality to werewolves from Remus, the most hate for Voldemort from James and something altogether unknown from Peter (because he wouldn't say) could they just about conjure the weakest of the weakest Philips. "If they were really sprites made by a Dark Wizard this box probably wouldn't hold them in because they carry the worst of the caster's spite."

"Any wizard can cast an dark spell. It doesn't even take much. Even something as little as being irritated by a friend who hasn't returned something they've borrowed can be used create dark magic. So it pays to learn to be mindful of your thoughts."

James wanted to clarify a bit more but things were quickly taken out of his hands when the Philip took it upon itself to prove that it was anything but 'cute'; it launched itself unprovoked onto James' face in a sudden frenzy of clawed nails.

"Gah!" James held up a protective arm and swung out the other to push the Philip away, but he wasn't quick enough and the malicious spirit had managed to rake a nail along his jaw. The Philip soared over the first row and landed on the floor.

"See, not very nice." James said and wiped the back of his hand over the bleeding cut. "_Stupfy_!" He added in almost casual manner and the Philip collapsed back onto the floor where it had half risen

Everyone started talking at once. "Whhhoooa!" A boy with ginger hair gasped. "That was so cool! How do you do spells like that?" he asked in awe.

James, who was being occupied with trying to heal the cut, had his wand aimed at where he thought the cut was, paused. "What that? That was just a normal stunning spell. I think I might have learnt that in my first year. Have you guys learnt it yet?"

"Yeah, but not like that! It looks too good the way you did it!" The boy took out his wand and pointed at an empty shelf. "_Stupfy!_" He shouted, with his eyes narrowed and brows drawn in utmost concentration. A small spark of green like dying fireworks came out the end of his wand and barely grazed the bookshelf. It was nothing like the direct burst of brilliant apple green that erupted from James' wand when he had performed the very same spell. "See! Mine was shabby."

James laughed. "Don't worry, give a bit more practice and your spells will get more powerful. But don't practice on other people, or yourself, OR point your wands at yourself!" he added and hastily pulled his own wand away from his chin; it wasn't bleeding much anyway. The warning was said obligingly; he was Head Boy after and he had a duty to look after younger students. Although it brought a smile back as a memory of Sirius and he practicing stunning spells on fellow students when they were younger resurfaced. _That_ was how he and Sirius got good at stunning. "Well, if you must practice on other people then make sure you're discreet and never get caught." He added at a lower voice before remembering that Moody was still very much in the room examining him.

James' back straightened. It wasn't as if he could take his words back so he cleared his throat and continued as if nothing had happened. "Okay, so before we tackle these guys I want you to pair up and practice your stunning/kicking/throwing skills. When you're done I'll give each pair a Philip and you can take turns stunning it. A quick revival spell will make him as good as new. Just one more thing!" He added as everyone began to get up. "Aim your stunning spells in one direction, let say to the front of the classroom, but WAIT until I get out of the way first!"

And so the rest of the James' first teaching lesson went. He supervised the stunning spell and was impressed with the improvement in the first ten minutes before everyone realized how much fun it was to simply throw the Philips. He weaved in and out of each pair talking loudly over the din of a working class.

Teaching seemed like a cinch. He was just doing a lot of walking and talking, which is what he spent most of his life doing anyway except now he was simply recalling any topic of interest that he'd found while in his DADA lessons. He was quite surprised that he remembered any at all really.

"Okay people!" James called out and resumed his position in front of the classroom. "The lesson is almost over." With a wave of his wand all the unconscious Philips were stowed safely back in his box. "You guys were great. Thanks! Go off for an early lunch!" The students packed up their belongings but the excited chatter continued.

"Do you see it when I stunned Philip? Man, that was so good!"

"Or when I threw it at the window!"

"Mine bit me!"

Saff approached at the front as people began to file out. "That was a great lesson!" she said a little breathlessly before turning very red. "I learnt a great deal."

James grinned, "Thanks." but it suddenly occurred to him that he might have spent the whole lesson bullshitting and so addressed the class for the last time. "You might want to check out some off the facts that I've been spouting off before you refer to any in exams or essays though. I probably made up most of them!"

The classroom emptied and James couldn't help but feel like the lesson went rather well. Let's face, it could have gone so wrong and he knew that Lily secretly expected it to go belly up no matter how much she supported him.

"Well Mrs. Potter, I told you that you didn't need to worry your pretty head!" He muttered to himself. With a spring in his step James doubled checked that the box of Philips was secure and picked it up.

Moody cleared his throat. "One moment, Potter."

"Sure." James said with aplomb, he hadn't forgotten about Moody at all…maybe for a little while but not that long.

"I have a few questions before you run off." Without warning the open door slammed shut and unless James was mistaken he heard the _snick_ of locking bolts.

For reasons he could not explain James suddenly became wary and he set the heavy box back onto the desk. He moved away from the desk and stood a little away, relaxed and ready. Ready for what? He did not know but his hand was not far off from the wand tucked in his back pocket.

Moody's electric blue eye did a 360-degree turn before coming to a swinging stop on James. The real eye kept a steady beady stare. One corner of the Auror's slash of a mouth curled up.

James had never seen a man so scarred. It made the man appear fearsome, each healed wound was a testimony to each battle he'd won, every obstacle he'd passed and judging by his face alone it was more than a fair few. Just seeing him demanded respect and James willingly gave it. Mad Eye Moody may be eccentric and by all means completely mad, but he was one of the best Aurors ever seen, his own Father had admitted it as such. He was the type of man that James aspired to be, someone who fought for what was right just because and little else.

The only foreseeable drawback he could imagine was that one day he may look in the mirror and find himself with a face like that, he could only hope that Lily wouldn't mind too much. An involuntary smile spread on his face, love had better be truly blind! He thought fondly of her face and then her smile. Any chances of her dumping him because he turned ugly was out the window, she was simply too stubborn or maybe just too stupid. Which he couldn't decide but either suited him just fine as long as it was he that she was too stupid or too stubborn to let go! With that in mind the tips of his fingers moved closer to his back pocket.

"You are guarded, that is good." Moody said.

It was an odd compliment but James politely thanked him nonetheless.

"Although keeping your wand in your back pocket isn't the wisest of places. Spells have no eyes and misfired spells do not have mercy."

Moody missed nothing, that magical eye of his had been tracking James' hand under his robes all along. James took the opportunity to pull out his wand; he was just heeding a useful bit of advice after all. "I'll definitely bear that in mind."

"Tell me, Potter. Why are you guarded against me?" Moody asked. This was a test. If James guessed right, this was the _real_ test. The so-called lesson was just something the Ministry required but this was going to be a test that Moody alone required.

'_Coz it's a well known fact that you're a bit on the mad side, you're armed and you could have my ass fried in an instant if I wasn't guarded._

James had known all of this beforehand but he hadn't been fully on his toes and aware that the Auror could pose a threat until the instant the door was locked. Sure, there were many perfectly innocent reasons for locking the door; for example he did not want any disturbances while he held some sort of interview. The reasons were there but James simply chose not to believe them.

"Can you give me a reason why I shouldn't be?"

"A fair enough question, Potter." Moody grunted. "You are like your Father."

James had a good laugh at that. "That's a first! People usually say I'm more like my Mum. My Dad has no sense of humor whatsoever!" James may look a lot like his Dad but he was nothing like the serious and stoic Mr. Potter.

"A man doesn't need humor to keep him alive. He needs only his skill and CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

James sobered up straight away. Moody sure knew how to kill a light moment.

"So, you teach your lesson in Defense of the Dark Arts but how well can you truly defend yourself against it."

"I don't think that I understand what you mean sir." James said cautiously.

The other corner of Moody's mouth lifted and it gave him a bizarre sneer. It was strange that Moody's face could be so impressively expressive despite the disfiguring scars. "How well can you defend yourself? Let's say, what would you do if I was to cast the Imperius Curse on you?"

James' brows shot up. There was something in Moody's voice that alerted him that he wasn't being hypothetical.

"What would you do?" Moody asked again. "Tell me, what would you do?"

"I would raise a shield."

"Wrong." Moody snapped.

"Cast a reflection spell."

"WRONG!"

James grew tense. He found himself obsessively following every slight twitch that the Auror made. He was watching, watching every single movement with a certainty that Moody did not believe in teaching theory alone. That damn eye spun excitedly in Moody's eye socket.

"Jinx the caster!" James found himself shouting. Truth be told, if Moody were to cast the Imperius Curse on him there was little he could do to block it. Rumor had it that it was what Voldemort used to make spies for himself.

"WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!" Moody roared.

"Avoid getting hit!"

"RIGHT!" The Auror's hand twitched. "_Imperio_!"

James leapt out of the way just in time and the spell barely missed his head. In one more leap he was over the teacher's table and onto the other side using it as a physical shield.

"A wizard doesn't need to move his whole hand to cast a spell!" Moody shouted. "A powerful wizard need not even say all his spells aloud!" To prove his point he shot a silent spell that fizzed like a bright orange firework into the table.

In an instant the table James was hiding behind was incinerated. James rolled and ran but there was nowhere to run! James needed to buy himself some time. Books, desks, chairs and everything he could point his wand at was picked up by unseen hands and tossed at the mad Auror.

Moody moved surprisingly fast, one leg clunking loudly as he went. James assessed the situation realistically, he couldn't even hold a wand up to Moody in terms of magical skill and he didn't fancy getting close enough to tackle the man to the ground. No doubt he'd be armed from head to toe by some protective charms. James had but one choice.

_Escape_!

The door was out of the question, he wouldn't have time to blast it open but that didn't mean he could use it as a distraction.

_Accio broom!_ He shouted the words in his mind. Aloud he yelled the blasting curse and hurled it at the door while running towards it.

"Too obvious! Everyone goes for the door!" Moody yelled and moved to guard it.

"I know!" James shouted at him. He skidded to a stop and immediately charged in the opposite direction for the _windows_! With his forearms crossed in front of his face he threw himself through the glass. Immediately he began to fall and for while he floundered in the air. The cold air whistled sharply by his ears. James was grateful that they were high and he had a while to fall before he met the ground, just enough time for-

-There it was!

His _broom_!

His trusty broom soared straight towards him matching his falling speed until it was within his grasp. James mounted the broom with ease and he was up and away.

Moody leaned out of the broken window impressed with the flying boy. "Excellent! A fast learner and gutsy! But don't think you'll be getting away from me, sonny."

On his broom James' teeth chattered.

_Man alive it's cold!_

He could barely feel his hands and he'd been on his broom for all of five seconds. He didn't even get a chance to reach the sixth second when he was suddenly seized from behind, plucked clean off his broom!

"WHA?" James struggled but invisible hands held him aloft and the broom flew on without him. With dead certainty he felt himself flying back to the broken window and to the clutches of Moody. Legs kicking he struggled to no avail.

James' flight was brief and with a single flick of the wand Moody dumped him onto the floor. He intended to hit the floor running but a quick full body bind killed off that notion.

"_Imperio_."

The effect was instantaneous. James stopped struggling. The full body bind was removed and he got to his feet swaying a little.

Happy, he felt happy but he didn't know why. He wondered vaguely what he was doing standing in the middle of the room.

_Walk_.

James lifted a foot but didn't put it down. Why was he walking? He didn't want to walk.

_Put your foot down._

His foot came down heavily and he jolted to the side almost losing his balance.

"Now, my second question. What would you do if the Imperius Curse hit you?" he could hear Moody saying. That same voice then went on to coax his empty head.

_Jump_.

It was like a suggestion that was irresistible. But there was no reason for him to jump, why should he jump?

_Jump!_

Wait, that wasn't his own thought…Slowly James became aware of what Moody was doing.

"Kkkkkk…." His muscles were tensing, ready for the jump but he was resisting.

"What would you do? Sonny answer me!" Moody barked.

"Nnnnn…" It was the only sound James could manage.

"WHAT WOULD YOU DO?"

"Fffff…." It hurt, the pain that started off as an ache grew. His muscles quivered while he strained. "Fiight…it!" He managed to gasp out. By now he was almost bent over from the effort to stop himself from jumping yet trying jump at the same time.

"THAT'S RIGHT! NOW FIGHT IT!"

James clenched his eyes shut forcing all of his concentration inwards.

_I am not going to jump._ _I will _NOT _jump!_

He locked his muscles refusing to succumb to Moody's whim. He put steel in his spine, straightening it, inch by inch. With a gasp he opened his eyes and found himself almost upright.

"FIGHT IT!" Moody screamed in the background.

_Jump!_

Sweat poured down his face. "I-will-NOT-jump!" All of sudden the emptiness left his head and found himself standing rod straight. The need to jump was completely gone.

"Not bad, Sonny. You threw it off."

James managed to stay upright for another second and then fell on his knees and hands. He breathed in hard.

Moody walked around him casually. "Third question: Would you be able to do it again? _Imperio_."

James didn't so much as get a warning before the spell gripped him once more.

_JUMP!_

"No!"

_I SAID JUMP!_

"NO!" James screamed aloud, his deep voice ringing in the room. He held his body absolutely rigid. He'd be damned if he let the same spell work twice. A mixture of stubbornness and pride held him fixed to the floor. "I SAID NO!" he yelled. The spell snapped immediately and he got to his feet. His limbs had gone all jelly like and he was breathing almost uncontrollably but he'd fought and won.

Moody stood in front of him with his arms crossed. "Not bad at all." He said.

---

**A/N:** Hope you liked!


	70. Doo Doo

**A/N:** Wow, it's been a very long time! I had to reread the last few chapters to remind myself!

**Quick Summary:** James and Lily are engaged! Yay! Rose, James and Sirius have all applied to be Aurors and Dumbledore has used this opportunity to introduce them to Moody who (unbeknownst to everyone including the students) represents the Order on this occasion. Under the guise of observing the students teach one class Moody springs on the chance to put each of the students to the test. This chapter picks up immediately after James' successful lesson and Moody's test which saw James jumping out the window and then cursed with one of the Unforgivable Curses.

---

DOO DOO

By lunch, news of James' highly enjoyed lesson had spread among the younger years and then made its way up with impressive speed.

However on the other side of the school Lily was suffering the consequences of his 'successful' lesson. She was on her way to lunch when she was unexpectedly knocked down from behind. There was no grace in being thrown off your feet and it sent her sprawling onto her hands and knees. For a split second she was…well…_stunned_; in both senses of the word. She was shocked that she'd been attacked from behind in Hogwarts and she was stunned because it was a stunning spell. She was lucky that the caster apparently wasn't any good because she recovered a moment later and turned around to see two students fleeing.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" she bellowed and the two froze in their tracks. "What do you think you were doing?" she demanded in a manner that would have made even Sirius flinch. The two culprits hung their heads low, guilty and shame-faced. "What are your names?"

"Ben Bywaters" The taller ginger haired boy said.

"Jeremy Codstones." The blonde haired one said.

"Do you know how dangerous it is to go around stunning people? Someone could get hurt! What makes you think that you can go around stunning people?" Lily said crossly with her hands on her hips.

"We've had a Defence Against Dark Arts lesson this morning," Ben started his voice quiet at first but grew louder as he spoke on. "The teacher said- He said it was a good idea to p-practice." Jeremy nodded earnestly.

"On other students?"

"Well," Ben said, the volume dropping again. "He said that as long as it was discreet and we didn't get caught, it was okay." Jeremy nodded.

"Is that so? I hardly think that Prof-" Lily almost choked on her words. This Marauder-esque scenario was definitely a recreation. Back in the first year it used to happen frequently, the culprits were never caught of course but all of the mystery stunning miraculously stopped when McGonagall threatened to ban the House from Quidditch. Everyone had a good hunch of who a certain group of boys were guilty but there was never any proof.

Lily swallowed before asking her next question with a good idea of the answer. "I don't suppose you had a substitute teacher for the lesson did you? A final year student called James Potter?" To her dismay the two nodded. Blood rushed to Lily's head. "Right, in that case, twenty points to be taken away each." Both boys groaned. "I hope you know now that you _do not_ go around stunning other people!"

"Yes." They chorused and Lily sent them on their way. She limped back to where she had fallen and retrieved her bag and books. Her knees were grazed where she had skidded across the stone floor and her hands were bruised from catching her fall, but they were nothing compared to how angry she was at James.

"You are so dead, Potter." She cursed under her breath and continued her way down to the Hall where she knew he was waiting for her.

---

James hobbled out of the classroom careful not to turn his back to Moody. It was amazing that just one little session with the mad man had taught him a lifetime's worth of paranoia.

In the main Hall Sirius took one look at James and his jaw dropped. "What in the world did the little terrors do to you?"

James didn't even know where to begin so he started with a basic reaction to feeling weak kneed. "I have to sit down."

Remus pushed a goblet of water to James who accepted it gratefully and melted into a seat.

Peter looked up and dropped his fork. "They _threw_ glass at you!"

"They can't have done!" Sirius asked slapping some glass out of James' messy hair. "They're first years! There's no way that they can be worse than us. Throwing dung bombs, now that's quite different 'coz we were prepared for that weren't we Prongs? I gave you a whole bag to return the favour."

Peter retrieved his dropped fork and resumed eating, chewing loudly. "You gave him dungbombs?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Just in case the little midgets decide to throw one at Prongs. Gotta have a counterattack!"

"What happened?" Remus asked not so easily knocked off course.

James gulped down some water before even trying to speak. "Padfoot, I've gotta warn you-"

Unfortunately Sirius was no longer listening and was nudging him before he could even finish. "Psst…it's Evans, boy she looks really angry…" He murmured from the corner of his mouth while Lily stalked up on James like an angry Hippogriff. "Good luck. You really should consider taking some _Felix Felicis _you know- Ow!"

Remus had kicked him under the table. "Not now." He warned and Sirius obediently closed his mouth trusting Remus on this one. In all their years that they had known Evans she had not once throttled or hexed Moony, there must be something that he was doing right and he and Prongs were making a crock-pot out of.

Without a word Lily grabbed James' arm and pulled him to his feet, yanking him into an empty corridor where she cornered him. Someone behind wolf whistled and she suspected it was Sirius and as a result, James' puddle of trouble had just doubled courtesy of his friend…

James no longer thought of himself as a boy. Despite his eighteen years of growth and development this last year seemed to outweigh them all. His final year at Hogwarts had yet to finish and already he felt _old_. He'd witnessed violence and tasted despair. For Merlin's sake he'd just jumped out the window and had the Imperius Curse cast on him twice! Everything up till that point in his life had been so easy and now, cruelly but surely, each step he took became more difficult than the last… With a sad sigh his attention snapped back to reality and Lily's angry face swarmed into focus.

_Oh Lord…sweet Merlin have pity on my poor soul_, he'd put his foot wrong again, stepped in doo doo, figuratively speaking, but he couldn't understand what he'd done to offend and couldn't imagine how to get himself admitted back into her good graces.

"What's wrong-" He started and reached out for her.

Lily slapped his hand away. "You irresponsible_ prat_!"

James had the strangest sense of déjà vu that transported him back to the past when Lily had called him such names on a regular basis. Trying to smooth things over he gave her his most charming albeit battered smile, however, even though Lily found it charming she also knew that it was not his most sincere smile and this only served to up her anger a few more notches.

Her eyes flared and James almost saw his death. He closed his eyes, unable to deal with post _Imperio_ fatigue and Lily's wrath at the same time. When he opened them again he found Lily kneeling on the floor rummaging through her shoulder bag. With his luck she was probably digging around for an axe or if he was extra unlucky, that little scalpel she kept in her quill case for sharpening quill tips. At least and axe would be quick-ish depending on how hard she swung it and how fast he could run in his current state.

"Don't move." She instructed tersely when she straightened. In her hands she held a small tub of cream that smelt minty. It was a far cry from an axe but James knew for certain that excruciating deaths could come in small pots, but whether or not death in pots could smell minty he didn't know.

"What's-"

"Don't. Move." She repeated and he closed his mouth hoping that it wasn't some sort of anti-James cream she had reserved for him or super painful death cream. He watched as she dipped a finger in and tried not to duck and run for his life when she dabbed it onto his face. The salve/cream whatever it was stung for a split second but as she rubbed it in the throbbing cuts over his face seemed to disappear. When he gingerly touched it with his fingers he found that they had indeed disappeared! In awe he rubbed the once painful spots in surprise before Lily slapped his hand away.

Slowly and methodically Lily applied the cream liberally on the several cuts that she could see on James' face and then his forearms. Whatever happened to him had left him in a mess. Yes she was concerned but at the same time she was good deal angry with him. Still, she had a hard time trying to be angry with him while he looked so hurt and cut up so this was her plan: patch him up and _then_ be angry with him.

With her nails she picked out a tiny shard of glass and dropped it to the floor, wincing for him as she did. She scooped some more of the cream with her finger and worked it expertly into the jagged cut. The small tub was a little wonder. The idea was given to her when she realized that James spent an awful lot of the time getting hurt, especially with Remus' monthly transformations. The cream was something that she'd mixed together herself out of healing herbs. Lily had resolved to keep it in her bag just in case situations like this happened and she had no doubt that it would happen often since trouble had a habit of following the Marauders. More than likely she was just looking too deeply into things and overlooking the fact that the foursome simply spent too much time courting trouble.

James winced while she worked on a particularly deep cut and she gave a sympathetic grimace for him. At this point she had to remind herself that she was supposed to be angry with him.

_Heal him, be angry with him, ask him what happened and then kill him if necessary._ That was the order that she was going to do them in.

"Thanks. Whatever it is that I've done I apologize." He said automatically when she'd finished and tossed the tub back in her bag. He knew that with women sometimes the only way forwards was to retreat.

Lily folded her arms crossly and stepped out of his reach. "I don't believe you! You haven't changed one bit! I don't know why I didn't see it. You're still the same James Potter!"

Slightly confused James scratched the back of his head. "Of course I'm the same James. Who else would I be?" He was rewarded with a Lily death glare before she stomped off. He didn't dare think about chasing after her. For all his bravado and reputed fearless attitude that earned him a place among the Gryffindors James actually valued his limbs and his life very much; chasing after Lily Evans while she was in a mood like that was definitely a death wish and a _painful _one at that.

"My wife." He all but lamented.

James slowly made his way back to the hall while pondering the mystery that was Lily, something he found himself doing more and more often lately. Okay so she was in a bad mood that much was obvious; she thought he was an irresponsible prat, but she'd been calling him that for years so nothing new there… He tried to rack his brain for anything particularly irresponsible that he'd done lately but drew a blank.

_Shit!_ James stopped in mid stride. Had he forgotten her birthday? Panic began to build up, girls were always particularly sensitive about birthdays and anniversaries. "Can't be!" he said aloud amongst his thoughts. Her birthday had yet to come up and there weren't any particular anniversaries coming up that he could think of. A quick bit of mental math told him that they had been together just over three months unless she was mad at him for forgetting their 90th day anniversary but then who celebrated at such an odd number? Six months and one year he could understand and he made a mental note of these dates so he could provide a suitable celebration just in case but then that was assuming that they were still together then.

No, that was being bleak, James told himself. Lily and he were going to spend the rest of their lives together and nothing; not even Voldemort would ever come between them, _ever_.

Like many unexplainable things in Hogwarts answers sometimes cropped up when you least expect it to, as James was soon to experience.

"I just don't get it!" He raked a hand through his hair trying to untangle his thoughts and he almost tripped over a couple of younger years. "OI!"

The pair jumped out of his way straight away. "Why aren't you back in your Common Room?" he demanded with annoyance. Since he was out he might as well carry out some Head Boy duties.

"Because it's still lunch sir." One of them said quietly.

_Oh yea…_ Lessons hadn't started yet so they had every right to be there in the corridor. "I'm still a student, there's no need to call me Sir." He said softening his tone a bit; it wasn't their fault that he was in a bad mood. "Well, I guess you two can be off then."

They were on their way immediately; the shorter boy nudged his friend as they did. "Do you think we should tell him?"

"Tell him what?" His friend replied.

"He was the one who said it was okay. He's Head Boy too maybe he can give us some of those points back?"

"I seriously doubt it Jeremy, we hexed the Head Girl!"

Easily overhearing the conversation as they parted James slapped a hand to his head. "No…" he groaned. He knew they looked familiar, the last two students in the first row. "Oi, get back here!" He yelled after them. The two jumped but obeyed straight away. "You weren't by any chance practicing hexes on the Head Girl were you?" he said almost pleading.

_Please say no. Please say no._

"Well yeah, you said-"

"That's enough. I know what I said." With slumped shoulders he wandered away wondering why someone out there was determined to see him die. Just as things were going well by some sick cruel twist of fate something like this always happened. "Why me?"

Jeremy and Ben watched him go.

"What's with him?"

"Mad." They concluded.

The hall was almost empty when he returned. In a dispassionate tone he recalled the newest trouble that had opened up a grave for him.

"The kids stunned Lily? Unlucky mate!" Sirius whooped afterwards. "That has gotta be the funniest thing ever, I can just see the kids crying! Of all the people to practice stunning on while their back is turned! Firstly, she's Lily! Secondly, she's Head Girl!" he dissolved in to gleeful cackles. "That's just perfect."

"Forget the kids, _I was almost crying_!" James shook his head almost smiling despite himself.

"James?"

James felt his expression go slack at the sight of McGonagall. With the way things going it seemed likely that she was here to tell him that Moody wanted to try another Unforgivable Curse on him. If he were lucky then maybe it would be the Killing Curse and it would end all his problems but then that was being morbid and he quickly shook off the idea.

"Of all things to be musing over…" He muttered darkly.

"Excuse me?"

"Urm… sorry Professor. I was just mumbling to myself."

"I see…are you well?" She asked at length.

James realized that she was inspecting from head to toe anxiously. In all likelihood she was looking for any visible injuries or maybe unnatural external deformities that a session with Moody might bring.

_You knew_. James wanted to say accusingly. It would have been nice if she had given even a little warning that he was about to teach and then get his ass thoroughly kicked.

"I survived." He answered although it didn't quite come out sounding the way it did when he thought it. In his mind it was supposed be defiant and indignant that she had not even offered a hint, but somehow aloud it sounded surprised.

The corners of her mouth pinched. "Yes, I am glad to see that." A moment of awkward silence followed in which the James tried hard not throw a well deserved strop, yes it was childish but he'd had one hell of a day and it was only lunch time! While he'd love very much to give Maturity the finger and a nasty hex for good measure he resolutely clung on until the need to point fingers and wands in a tantrum passed and a bizarre calm settled on his grated mood.

_Blimey,_ _I must be getting mature_. He thought suddenly and he laughed aloud. His random hearty laugh surprised a few including McGonagall. It must have been odd because she actually put a hand to his forehead to check that he wasn't running a fever. She ascertained that his temperature was perfectly normal and so the next conclusion she reached was more worrying.

James could read it off her face. _He's lost his mind_.

He broke into another laugh, this time trying not to sound as maniacal as before. "I'm fine. Honestly!"

"Are you sure? I can give you a note so that you can go to the Madam Pomfrey this afternoon."

"Hmm…" James was tempted, she was practically offering him the rest of the afternoon off! But then did he really want to spend the rest of the day cooped up and being smothered? Not likely! It was as boring as hell and he believed that he spent far too much time in the Hospital Wing as it was. "No, that's okay. I'm fine. It was a tough lesson but I learnt a fair few things." He said.

McGonagall gave him another one of those pinched looks that said that she didn't believe him but did not push the matter further. "As you wish, but if you start to feel…unwell then off to Madam Pomfrey straight away, do you understand?"

"Yes, Professor." James said obediently.

"Good, have a good meal before your next class and drink plenty." She advised.

"Will do."

"And please make you way to the Headmaster's office after classes this afternoon."

"Yes – what?" James' goodwill to be agreeable took an abrupt dive off the broom. Going to Dumbledore's office has always been as a result causing trouble and getting caught. The time that he and Lily were caught red handed by Dumbledore and the Minister of Magic was a prime example of such visits. "What did I do now? If it's about the window I jumped out of I promise I'll fix it."

McGonagall arched a thin brow. "You jumped out of a window?"

If there was ever a case of getting yourself into trouble James had just found and done it all in one go. "No, of course not." He replied smoothly. "I was just mumbling, I don't think I've been quite...the same since that session with Moody." He said hoping that she would pick up the tragic tone he had sprinkled liberally over his words. "Have I done something wrong?"

"No, there are just some matters to be discussed about your application process. That is all."

"Oh."

"Yes, it is important so do make sure you turn up on time." There were stresses on several words in that sentence and James heard them all. There wasn't much to say after that and the Professor soon left. "As for the window I will see to it." She said as a parting shot leaving James to slump in his seat.

"I'm getting old for this." He sighed. He rolled his neck sitting up as he did and noting the almost empty table. "Oi! Where's Padfoot?" Sometime during his brief conversation with McGonagall Sirius had slipped away, probably on purpose.

"He's teaching remember?" Moony answered nonchalantly.

"Oh shit!" James could not even begin to imagine how things would turn out in Sirius' session with Moody. The Auror was absolutely barking but it was always in Sirius' nature to bark louder and harder. This was not going to be pretty…


	71. The Condition

**A/N: Wow, this chapter has been too long in the making. Please bear with me guys while I get back into the flow of writing. It's good to be back ^.^**

**THE CONDITION**

James ascended the spiral stairs two at a time anxious to see Dumbledore, not for the meeting but to see if he had news on Sirius. The lesson should have ended within the first hour after lunch but Sirius remained suspiciously missing for the whole afternoon.

At the top James knocked and entered at the bidding of McGonagall, which told him straight away that Dumbledore wasn't in his office. Sure enough, he entered to find the office empty except for Professor McGonagall, although describing the room as empty was technically untrue. Portraits occupied most of the wall space and the nosy occupants of past Headmasters and Headmistresses stared down at him, all of them inspected him with somewhat odd expressions.

"Take a seat, the Headmaster will be along shortly." McGonagall said.

Uneasy under the scrutiny of the portraits, James took the offered chair to find McGonagall giving him the same queer look. Not usually one to be self-conscious James became painfully aware of every set of eyes focusing on him in the room.

Minutes ticked by and James began to fidget under the hot scrutiny. McGonagall appeared preoccupied with her thoughts and would occasionally sigh and James wasn't about to make small talk. Instead his curiosity urged him to observe Dumbledore's office from where he sat.

It was a fascinating room; every time he was there he had to resist going around and having a good fiddle with the hundreds of artifacts that the eccentric Headmaster had in his collection. There were a few things that he recognized but many that he did not. In the corner stood some strange looking spindly, spinner things that he hadn't a clue about and he couldn't even imagine its function, but next to that in a hidden alcove was a Pensieve. The discovery of its existence was purely by _chance_ of course. James had no doubt that within its depths was an impressive library of thoughts that only a great wizard such as Dumbledore could collect. He was curious but had never sneaked a peak for he knew that they were private, although Sirius would beg to differ, but then the opportunity to have a look had never been presented.

_Clunk._ Step. _Clunk_. Step. _Clunk._

James was on his feet in an instant at the sound of the distinct walking pattern.

_Moody_.

His hand jumped to his wand.

McGonagall also stood more out of surprise at James' sudden defensive move than the sound of Moody coming up the stairs. The heavy door flew open hitting the wall with a bang and the Auror entered without even bothering to knock.

"Alastor!" McGonagall exclaimed, obviously appalled.

Ignoring her, Moody maneuvered himself heavily to the center of the room. "Hmph. He put up quite a fight." He grunted and dumped a soot colored ferret onto Dumbledore's desk.

Fawkes, who had been dozing up to till this point, gave a dignified squawk at the disturbance before eyeing the ferret with interest. The little creature scrabbled to its paws spitting and hissing. James stared at it with fascination. The ferret had a cute little pink nose and tufts of glossy fur framed its face in a manner that was…stylish? The little thing had one front paw raised with its sharp claws curled into a ball, if he didn't know better it would have looked like it was waving a fist at Moody! The ferret sniffed sulkily and released one claw in what was unmistakably a rude finger salute.

James' jaw dropped at the ferret's very un-ferret-like behavior. "Uh."

"Alastor!" McGonagall cried, clocking on before James. "We DO NOT transfigure students!"

"I know. It's a shame." Moody growled and James swore he could see a look of glee under that scarred face.

"Padfoot?" James voiced incredulously. Who else could be turned into a ferret and still have that insane amount of attitude? And that fur, what kind of ferret would ever have fur like that? Sirius the ferret crossed his arms moodily.

With a quick wave of the wand McGonagall had Sirius restored to his natural shape and size. Disgruntled and sulky, he pushed himself off the desk advancing on Moody angrily.

"That was a cheap shot!"

"Padfoot-" James started.

"By Merlin's foot, Prongs. You should have seen some the curses this old codger was trying on me! Curses are fine because I was defending myself just fine when he took the dirtiest shot in Magic history! He turned me into a ferret! And then he had the nerve to put me in a cage and _leave_ me there! IN A CAGE! While he toddled off somewhere, probably getting addled by whatever he has stashed in his hip flask."

Moody appeared every bit unfazed to say the least. "If you got hit by a spell, the only person you can blame is yourself. You were too slow and you got slower the more tired you got. You were able to defend yourself decently but you tire too quickly when your opponent is strong." He retorted. "It doesn't matter what kind of shot it is as long as it works. The sooner you learn that the better wizard you will be."

It had been a long time since Sirius had so clearly been out-skilled and it pained him greatly to see Moody gloat in his sick, sadistic and sad glory. "Oh, really old man? Do you wanna try that again? This time I'll be more than ready-"

Moody cackled, clearly nowhere near impressed by Sirius' hot temper. "I wouldn't mind giving it another go as long as you don't mind being turned into a ferret again. Now that's already an advantage given to you laddie because in the real world no one will give you a second chance. No, you'd be dead. Dead as a belly up 'Carple! DEAD!" The Auror's raspy voice hung heavy in the air whilst Sirius fumed on. Taking the younger wizard's silence as a victory Moody went on. "Not the same kind of teaching that they give you in school ay? No. No more coddling for you boy! Out there, all you have are your wits and you wand. CONSTANT VIGILENCE is the only thing that will save your skin!" With that he reached to his side and pulled out a hip flask from which he took a swig.

Sirius meet Moody eye for eye, literally because Moody's other eye was going haywire and whizzing in the socket like glass bouncy ball. It was tremendously gross and distracting. Still, from under the scarred eyelid of his one good eye Sirius met his gaze straight on. Moody infuriated him, however, he did recognize the wisdom of experience in the verbal diarrhea the Auror was spewing in his general direction but that didn't stop him thinking that the man was a complete asshole.

"I'd rather be dead than to let you get away with thinking you had me over so easily." He informed him haughtily.

Moody laughed and it sounded like a bizarre parody of the laughing man in red James had once seen in a shopping mall in London one Christmas. "The boy has spirit I'll give him that! But I stick by what I said before, you're going to get yourself killed!"

"I'm not a boy!" Sirius roared, his deep undoubtedly mature voice filling the circular room.

"That's difficult to tell from your magic." Moody said clearing enjoying tormenting Sirius.

Sirius' hand clenched his wand tighter but he was too wound up to think of a decent spell. "You see this yea? Take a good look at it coz it's gonna go right up your-"

James seized Sirius' arm before he could finish what would have been a non-retractable comment.

McGonagall looked appalled and Dumbledore cleared his throat drawing attention to him. No one had even noticed him enter the room. With a swish of his long robes he swept into the room followed by Rosie who was tailing after him.

"A good evening to you all." He greeted and took his place at his desk. Everyone mumbled a reply and even Moody nodded his head. "Do seat yourselves comfortably." He said and conjured up three more chairs. James pushed Sirius in the seat furthest from the one Moody had chosen before settling down. Rosie sat to his left. The three of them faced Dumbledore expectantly, today had been a strange day even by Hogwarts standards.

Dumbledore looked straight back at them, his demeanor calm, his blue eyes giving nothing away. "I'm sure the three of you must have questions, but I would like to ask you keep hold of them until you have heard all that I have to say."

The three students nodded a little apprehensively. There was something deeply unsettling about Dumbledore tonight. Perhaps it was his serious tone or maybe a trick of the light in his office, but he appeared a lot less eccentric Grandpa and something that none of them could but their finger on.

"Let me begin by apologizing to the three of you. I have not been completely honest with you. Today's tests had nothing to do with your applications to become Aurors."

Sirus' brows shot up and he was on his feet in a second. "So he's not from the Ministry?"

Moody let out a cackle of a laugh. "Why, does that change things for you boy?"

"I'm NOT A BOY!" Sirius roared.

"BLACK, you sit down this instant!" McGonagall reared as Sirius began to mutter profanities that would normally have reduced the House pounts to sub-zero. "And watch your mouth potty mouth or I'll have Gryffindor disqualified from Quidditch even if it's my own House!" Her threat had the desired effect and Sirius sat down without another word. A lump formed in McGonagall's throat. These youngsters, _her_ pupils, should be concerned about things such a sport, they should not have to be part of the horror of a twister dark wizard; but Dumbledore was right, what could be worse than to leave the young in the dark, without the knowledge to even know what they might face should the Order fail? What could be more cruel than to leave them unprepared?

Dumbledore was as grave as James had ever seen him. "I invited Alastor here today to test you in ways that are completely beyond the curriculum, but are absolutely necessary for what I am about to ask of you..."

James listened, enraptured as Dumbledore talked on. His response grew from surprise, to understanding and finally grave acceptance. At one point he looked over at Sirius and saw his thoughts reflected on his face. The _Order of the Phoenix_. For all this time that he'd wished that someone would do something against Voldemort, he would never have realized something was being done right under his nose! All in secrecy because the Ministry was too scared or, even worse, too foolish to even recognize that something had to be done. Even before Dumbledore had finished James knew that whatever the Order was planning, he wanted to be part of it.

"…I understand that this is a lot for you to take in and I promise you that if I could bear this burden alone I would gladly do so. But, the truth is that my strength alone is limited." Dumbledore sighed and James could feel the weight of his sigh.

"I'm in." Sirius said quietly, his anger long gone.

"Perhaps if you take some time to think this through…"

Sirius shook his head at the Headmaster. "This is something that I've been waiting to hear. Something has to be done and I want a part in it. Besides, you need someone like me." He ended rakishly.

"And I." Rosie said, her eyes glossy with determination. "No further consideration is needed."

McGonagall sat back. She knew their answers even before they did, but it was very difficult not to see the two young men and lady as the children that had been in awe of her during her first Transfiguration demonstration. Dumbledore, no doubt in her mind, might be having similar thoughts though he controlled it better than she.

"I will join the Order but only on one condition." All eyes went to James. This was the first time he'd voiced anything on the matter.

"Oh?"

"I know that I am being overly presumptuous by having a condition," James kept his eyes fixed on the fine pattern of whorls on Dumbledore's desk as if committing it to memory. "But I feel that personally, this is what I need. I realize that by joining the Order I could very well be offering my life for a cause that is right but…"

"Lily." Sirius said with sudden understanding.

James nodded meeting the Headmaster's clear eyes squarely. "I will join the Order on the condition that she is not allowed to join."

* * *

The three students traipsed down the corridor. Each solemnly quiet with thoughts on what had transpired in Dumbledore's office. Sirius was the first to break out of his dark thoughts and he riled on Rosie.

"How come Moody didn't attack _you_?" Sirius asked accusingly.

Rosie made a face. "You didn't see me before Dumbledore fixed me. Yes and I said _fixed_. That was how badly I came off." She said scathingly when Sirius' brows went up.

This made Sirius feel somewhat a little better. "What did he turn you into?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Why?"

"Well what did he turn _you_ into?"

"I'm not going to tell you either!"

"Fine. James, what did Moody turn Black into?"

"A ferret." James answered absentmindedly.

"Prongs! That's betrayal!" Sirius protested, but James was once again lost in a troubled reverie.

Meanwhile Rosie was having trouble containing her laughter. "A ferret? The wizard is nuts but I'm beginning to like his humor."

"What bloody humor? If you mean the dirty-shot-trying-to-kill-student humor then ra de ha ha! It was one hell of a joke! But then _you would_ find something like that funny."

"Sure would."

James walked on ahead, oblivious that he'd left the bickering behind.

"What's wrong with _him_?" Rosie asked as they watched his back recede into the shadows. Sirius knew his friend. He and James were very similar in many ways, but yet there were some fundamental differences. James was brought by loving parents and was inclined to love by rule, whereas Sirius, who was brought up by parents who cared only for bloodlines and power, loved by exception. Now that James had Lily, this difference was never clearer. Sirius took comfort in knowing that he would never lose more than his life should he die, but it would not be so for his friend.

"Nothing that a bottle of Fire Whisky wouldn't temporarily fix." He replied flippantly. "Say, I have a vintage bottle tucked away, what say you to an early celebration?"

* * *

Lily was up on her feet a soon as she heard the portrait open. "James."

From across the room James met her eyes. In the dim light they simply burned. There was something very poignant in that moment, something in the way she anxiously wringed her hands with worry, her face more open to him than ever before. He walked up to her and wordlessly wrapped her into a tight hug.

Lily swallowed hard as her fingers automatically clenched the sleeve of his shirt. Something wasn't right. "Jamie, what is wrong?" She asked hating how small her voice sounded.

He pulled back slightly to look into her face, his fingers brushing her cheek and following the contours of her face. "Nothing. Nothing at all." He said at length and pressed his lips to her forehead where they stayed while they stood in front of the crackling fire. Lily did not for one second believe him but she clamped her mouth on questions and closed her eyes.

They parted silently not two minutes later. Lily could see a thin but stout wall wedge itself between them as James straightened his shoulders from whatever it was that was immensely bothering him. Distracted and appearing almost apologetic? Lily couldn't quite put her finger on it but in that state he excused himself and went up to his room.

Lily resumed her seat staring thoughtfully at the stairs. It bothered her. Something was on his mind and she was inclined to assume that it wasn't a good thing occupying his thoughts judging from his demeanor. She wanted to go after him because she simply couldn't let it go. He probably needed time to think things over and it really wasn't any of her business if he did not want to confide with her. This she understood completely since she was a firm believer in having your own personal space in relationships.

At length, concern won over and she left her warm seat and began to tiptoe up the stairs. She might not be able to help him but she could offer him comfort. It was a small offer but it was enough to make her happier for it. She knocked faintly before letting herself into the darkened dorm room. The curtains were pulled on all the beds. Maybe he was asleep?

Padding silently she went to his bed and peeked in, she just wanted to see that he was all right. Lily didn't know who was more surprised when she looked in and he was lying there wide awake. His eyes snapped from the drapes overhead and he started at the sight of her.

"I'm sorry! I knocked and I thought you were asleep!" She gushed in quiet whispers. "I only wanted to see that you were okay." She added awkwardly.

"That's all right. I'm sorry I didn't hear you." He sat up and held a hand out to her. "I guess I was just out of it for a moment."

Lily stepped out of her slippers before taking his hand and climbing onto the bed and sat in front of him. The heavy curtain dropped back into place as if sealing them away from the rest of the sleeping school.

"Your hands are cold." He said and he shuffled aside so that there was room beside him. Without so much as a second thought Lily crawled over and slid under the thick duvet and he tucked it up over shoulders. Lily snuggled down and it was the most natural thing in the world for him to put his arms around her. She fit against him like she was his complementary mould.

"Your hands are still cold." He said after a while.

In answer she tucked her fingers down the collar of his t-shirt and felt him shudder. "Not for much longer."

"No, not much." He agreed. Lily rolled around so that her face rested comfortably on the crook of his neck. The hair at the back of his neck was still damp where he hadn't dried it properly after a shower. She breathed in deeply loving the way he smelt so fresh and how she could smell him under the cleanness. It comforted her and somehow made her belly feel funny. She felt her face flush and was infinitely glad that it was dark and he couldn't see her face. She lay there pressed against him, suddenly feeling very awkward and shy, and her initial reason for finding him quite forgotten. It felt like an age that they lay there, acutely away of each other's presence; at least, that's how Lily felt it was until she felt James' breathing slow and then finally deepen into sleep. Lily gave a little sigh and did her best to stamp down her little secret flash of disappointment before slowly nodding off to a light sleep.


End file.
